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Bonding With New Cat

Discussion in 'Cat Behavior' started by Blong2018, Mar 18, 2019.

  1. Blong2018

    Blong2018 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    5
    7
    Mar 18, 2019
    Hello all! I adopted my very first cat 8 days ago. The first 3 days she barely ate or drank and was very scared. She has finally started eating and drinking and playing but I feel like we aren’t bonding. She won’t come up to me unless i have a treat and she barely lets me pet her. Is there anything I can do to help increase our bond?
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

  2. Furballsmom

    Furballsmom Cat Fan especially Black Cats Staff Member Forum Helper

    16,658
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    Jan 9, 2018
    Colorado USA
    Hi!
    Bless your heart for getting your cat, and for coming here!

    Time itself will help, and when you interact with her, don't look directly at her for very long, this can intimidate cats at first :) also, sit on the floor with her at times that'll help bring you to her level.

    14 Cat Experts Reveal: How To Get A Cat To Like Me
     

  3. Blong2018

    Blong2018 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    5
    7
    Mar 18, 2019
    Thank you for the reply. She is such a sweet girl. I have just so desperately wanted a cat my whole life and I wanna make sure she bonds with me and I’m afraid she won’t like me. I even tried napping on the floor with her earlier today and she still wouldn’t come to me. After she got used to the new house she would rub on me and everything now she doesn’t. It only lasted 2 days. Now she is back to running away from me. I feel like she is scared of me now for some reason.
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

  4. verna davies

    verna davies TCS Member Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Feb 23, 2016
    Wales uk
    Try sitting in the room with her and reading out loud so she will get used to the sound of your voice and realise you are not a threat. Play with a toy but ignore her, let her come to you. Mention her name often, talk quietly, no sudden movements. Some cats take longer to accept us but be patient and you will be rewarded.
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

  5. FelisCatus

    FelisCatus RIP </3 Alpha Cat

    883
    1,142
    Dec 27, 2018
    You’re doing amazing already, don’t doubt yourself. It can take weeks or even up to months for a cat to bond. Not all of them are instant/within a few days. Depends on how they were brought up and if they were abused before.

    I will post some tips when I get home from work if others haven’t already covered what I would share.

    Do you have any pics to share of the cutie?

    Welcome to cat parenthood!

    :purr:
     
    Furballsmom purraised this.

  6. susanm9006

    susanm9006 Willow Top Cat

    3,325
    4,102
    Feb 20, 2011
    Eight days is a very short time in the life of a cat. New place, new person, new smells, new sounds can all make her anxious. And, probably she feels some of your need to connect with her which in turn makes her a little bit more anxious. So first thing to do is to try to relax. If she is eating, drinking, using her litterbox and occasionally coming out of hiding while you are present she is doing wonderfully. And while she may seem like she is ignoring you, she is actually evaluating your every movement to make sure you are a safe person to be around. So do your normal stuff, while you chat with her about your day or hers ; set down a treat or two but don’t expect any reaction from her in turn, and make sure there are interesting toys scattered around for her. Then you just wait for her to tell you she wants more attention, play or petting. It will happen on her schedule but it most certainly will happen.
     

  7. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

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    Nov 25, 2013
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  8. Blong2018

    Blong2018 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    5
    7
    Mar 18, 2019
    She is 2ish and I have no idea about her background thank you guys for the reply here are some pictures of her. I hope she becomes more cuddly soon! But I’m trying not to rush it.
     

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  9. susanm9006

    susanm9006 Willow Top Cat

    3,325
    4,102
    Feb 20, 2011
    Sleeping out in the open is a REALLY good sign!
     
    rubysmama and She's a witch purraised this.

  10. Blong2018

    Blong2018 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    5
    7
    Mar 18, 2019
    She loves sitting in front of the couch and watching tv with me
     
    susanm9006 purraised this.

  11. FelisCatus

    FelisCatus RIP </3 Alpha Cat

    883
    1,142
    Dec 27, 2018
    She’s beautiful!

    Chilling with you is not a small feat... if you had a real problem on your hands she wouldn’t be doing that.
     
    rubysmama purraised this.

  12. Blong2018

    Blong2018 Thread Starter TCS Member Kitten

    5
    7
    Mar 18, 2019
    Is there anything I can do to help her or should I just keep playing with her. Talking to her and sitting with her? She does eat treats out of my hand so that’s a plus.
     
    rubysmama purraised this.

  13. rubysmama

    rubysmama Forum Helper Staff Member Forum Helper

    9,715
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    Nov 25, 2013
    Canada
    Awww... what a cutie pie. :catlove: She looks like she's pretty content in those pictures. :hearthrob:

    Yes, keep playing with her. And talking to her. Tell her she's special. And you're so happy she's your girl now. :hearthrob:

    She may not be a lap cat, but maybe try putting a throw or blanket on your lap when your sitting on the sofa. That also seems to draw my Ruby to my lap. :catrub: And you can always try bribing her with treats. :catman:
     

  14. FelisCatus

    FelisCatus RIP </3 Alpha Cat

    883
    1,142
    Dec 27, 2018
    There's lots and lots of things you can do. You're already doing a great job though and you don't want to push yourself too much onto her. Just giver her space and she'll come around :).

    If however you DO want to try new things
    -Play using an interactive toy that requires you (feathered fishing rod). I highly recommend 'Da Bird' by Go Cat Feather toys. It's affordable and probably the best rod toy I have found.

    -Since she likes to eat treats from your hand, try different types. Do you have access to buy Inaba Churu or Catit Creamy? I squeeze these onto my finger in small increments and my cats love to lick it off. It's a nice bonding time for us. I personally think my cats like Inaba's Churu more, but they are harder to find and not often on sale. Catit's Creamy seems to be on sale all the time so I usually buy that.

    -Put on a cat channel bird viewing for her.. you said she likes to sit near you and watch TV right? Might as well put on something that will really get her into it

    This guy makes great videos and I come back to them all the time. There are lots like it though, so don't feel like you have to use this one.



    On another note, have you considered getting her a friend for when you will be away at work/school for the majority of days? If you plan to do so, it is better when they are younger so they have a higher chance to bond as well. The way you worded it that you wanted a cat for a very long time and you just got one, makes me think this is not possible at the moment?

    Either way you would want her to get comfy first. Just something to consider for the near future.

    If you have any other questions, I'm here.
     

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