Best friend died suddenly in front of me on Friday

[hexevans]

Hi everyone, I am in a terrible place right now after the sudden death of my best friend, my cat Jinx. I visited this forum a couple times in regards to his health and wellbeing and everyone was so kind.

Last Friday night I was just sitting in the living room drawing when my boy got up, ran into the hall, collapsed, howled, and started gasping for air. I went over to him and it was clear he was slipping away fast. I picked him up in my arms and he died. I rocked him and sang to him to help his spirit feel peace as he crossed over. It was my instinct to do this. I felt him reach the place beyond.

However, that secret reserve of strength I had in the moment has now dissolved and I am devastated and sitting in agonizing emptiness. He was only six and he was my everything, he came into my life when I was coming out of a very dark place and was a crucial part of my healing journey. Now I feel he was stolen right in front of me and I'm so mad, I'm mad with grief. I can't make sense of the pain. It is so unfair. I keep wanting to look for him all around the apartment. I can feel myself not letting myself accept that he's gone, thinking I can bring him back somehow.

He always had health issues since he was a kitten, he went to the emergency vets several times for intense nervous system, urinary, and respiratory symptoms no one could get to the bottom of. I wanted him to have a long full life . . . why did he have to leave me so suddenly? My best friend.

If anyone has any words of consolation I would be very grateful. Grateful also if anyone who's experienced something similar could share their story. I know life goes on after such a horrible sudden loss, but right now the grief, shock, and absence are excruciating.

 

[catapault]

Sending you condolences. Six is rather young but even if Jinx was 16 years old or even older his death would leave you feeling desolate. You gave him six happy years filled with love. You sent him across the Rainbow Bridge with love. Grieve now, recognize the sadness you feel. It is never easy.

 

[Furballsmom]

I just lost my boy a couple of weeks ago. There's been a couple times that it's like a physical pain. When they leave, they leave behind an enormous hole.

RIP baby boy. You didn't have a very long time here, but while you were here you accomplished so much. May your human be able to lean on your strength again and know you wouldn't want such grief to overwhelm.

 

[Mighty Orange]

I'm so sorry for your heart breaking unexpected loss.

 

[Margot Lane]

Think if Jinx hasn’t met you— you who helped him to live out his brief life as happily as he possibly could, knowing someone deeply loved him. Getting to hold him at the last and send him off…I know it was painful but at least he knew you were right there, loving him.
Big hugs.

 

[di and bob]

My heart goes out to you. I truly believe he was sent to be in your life when you needed someone the most.....
None of us are guaranteed a tomorrow. That precious boy held on as long as he could despite his problems. The cat I had that died as he did died of a congenital heart problem. What ever your sweet boy died of was something he just could not overcome any longer. He did not want to go, he had to.
The hole in your heart is enormous. The emptiness in your house is just as big. Please do not dwell on his end, on something that cannot be changed. it does nothing but bring more heartache. He would never want that. He died at home, in the arms of who loved him the most. He is at peace. Go forward into the future and live it as you would want for him to live, not in unending sadness, but seeking life's happiness and beauty. That is love, he would want no less.
The bond of love between you both is strong. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. As you continue your life's journey, his new path will always parallel your own. His love will always reside in your on soul, it is spiritual so eternal. It can never be replaced, but it can be made to shine even brighter by adding on another little love that he would send your way. His legacy on this earth was to show you what one of this earth's greatest treasures can bring. What it means to receive a cat's love.......RIP precious Jinx. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!

 

[game misconduct]

sorry for your loss man for what its worth atleast he died safe in your arms and not at your vets euthanized over his health issues. its not much in way of comfort i know that it was the only small positive i could think of. allow yourself time to grieve this loss i hope you dont fall back into that dark place again

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Rest you gentle, Jinx, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

Six short years...but where there is love, an eternity together is not long enough, is it? This I know, Jinx lived, breathed, and had his being wrapped in your love for him. And that love guided him as he passed through the Gate between This Adventure and his Next Great Adventure. Now, from his new home in That Place Where All Things Are Known, Jinx blesses you for your love and your care, and he sends his own love, translated and purified into Love, back to walk with you down through all of your days. Because Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides. Later, when the grief is not so raw, do not be surprised to feel him near you at odd moments. They are never totally gone. None of those we love are ever totally gone.

 

[hexevans]

Thank you so much for your beautiful replies, anyone. I've been paralyzed with grief the last few days and unable to put feelings into words, or even just to get out of bed, but I've come to this thread several times to read the messages again and again. You are all offering such a blessing by taking the time to support me and my boy Jinx. You are amazing.

The grief seems never-ending but I will try to lean on Jinx's strength to keep myself in a place where I can process the trauma of his loss so it's not just my brain replaying the hours and minutes and moments before his death again and again. I know lots of people say this and I feel it too, there is this feeling that I didn't do enough. He deserved more life. But even in these moments I know he is at peace and his love will guide me.

Thanks you so much again.

 

[game misconduct]

ahh this probably is not the best time to suggest this maybe you could think about adopting another cat that reason to smile cats give us each day might help you out some plus that unconditinal love they give once that bond of trust forms might be just what you need to heal the hole in your heart it wont replace your other cat just hopefully help ease the pain

 

[Furballsmom]

 

[di and bob]

It's so hard...

 

[Caspers Human]

I picked him up in my arms and he died. I rocked him and sang to him to help his spirit feel peace as he crossed over.

Your cat, Jinx, had a nice home to live in where he could be safe, comfortable and warm. He had good food to eat so that he never had to worry about going hungry. He had all the toys he could play with. He had a human to love who loved him back. He had everything a cat could want. Other cats would be jealous!

In death, you held him and comforted him. He knew that his human was with him until his last moment.

What cat wouldn't give everything to have the kind of life you gave your cat?

Of course, it's sad when your best friend passes away but you've got a lot to be proud of!

Grief is important. Don't let anybody try to tell you to "just get over it." Grief is part of life and everybody copes with it in their own way. Just don't let it consume you and, eventually, you'll come to understand things in your own way.

How many other cats in the world don't have a place to live, good food to eat and a loving human to take care of them?

In the mean time, you can temper your grief with the knowledge that you "done right" by your cat.

 

[Furballsmom]

We talk alot here about music for cats to help them, but it can work for us too. When you feel up to it, take a listen to Vince Gill with the song he wrote for his brother Go Rest High on That Mountain, or Vince Gill and Carrie Underwood and her incredible How Great Thou Art, or Carl Ellis and Amazing Grace.

 

[iPappy]

I am so sorry for your loss. I have lost them suddenly, and not suddenly. I don't know which is worse. If you lose them suddenly it's such a horrible shock (and yours was so young.) When it's not sudden and we nurse them through poor health, we have too much time to worry which turns into premature grieving. Both things are absolute hell on us.
Six years is not enough for anything. But those 6 years were filled with care and love. It's little consolation now, but in time, it will be, I promise. But it's OK to be angry for now, this was so unexpected. But please don't let that anger consume you.
I had a cat that stopped eating one day. He was 1 1/2 years old, and died 2 weeks later from a rare disease, despite emergency vet visits and procedures to hopefully save his life. I'll never know why our efforts didn't work, and it was so fast, and he was so young as well. 2 months ago today I lost one of those who was/is like a soul mate. He had some age on him (13) and we did so much over the course of his almost 2 year steady decline to try to save his life, and it just didn't work. It's heartbreaking.
A good friend of mine adopted a kitten from a foster litter we had at work. 2 years later, this cat was running around her house, playing, and making her laugh, when he just collapsed and died in front of her. It impacted her greatly, but today she can talk about that cat with a lot of smiles and happy memories without dwelling on how young he was when he passed. It takes time.
Our love for them is so deep that I can't even really understand how one little pet can leave such an impact on our lives, but somehow they do. The fact that you were able to remain calm and help him pass without panic is excellent, even if it doesn't feel like it now. If you notice little signs that he's been back to visit you, don't write it off as coincidence or assume you're going crazy. I have had so many instances of both human and animals who have passed leave little signs that they are well and want to leave me some comfort knowing that I don't have to worry about them.
You're in good company here. And please take care of yourself.

 

[Margot Lane]

…I can only add to the above, it’s the chafing pain, the unfairness of it all, that they don’t live as long as we do. We know that going in, it is part of the agreement, but so easy to forget, b/c we love them SO much. Somewhere, during the time our lives cross, our hearts alchemize, and learn to take whatever they have offered with us, to hopefully become better humans, for having known them.

 

[Antonio65]

I'm so sorry for your sudden loss, it is shocking indeed. I agree with all the others said above, you gave Jinx 6 years of love, warmth, happiness, comfort, good food. He couldn't ask for more.
You were with him till the end, this is the greatest gift of love you could give him, he wasn't alone, he felt you so close to him and he passed away peacefully, with the sound of your voice in his ears, the sound that he loved the most. No doubt that your Jinx was happy till the end, and beyond.
RIP Jinx.

 

[platty]

Its even worse when they are very young ? so sorry for your loss it must have been quite a shock