Being Bothered At Work...

[tara g]

It never ends... Since day 1 at my job, one of the drivers has been flirting with me. Okay, in the trucking industry it is expected ... one of the other guys even said "after looking at a bunch of dudes all day, we see a pretty girl and get all stupid." I know this happens, and am pretty thick skinned, and don't care. My BF isnt the jealous type either, knows who I'm going home to at night. Not saying I think I'm hot stuff, but the guys at his job are always looking, and one of them admits he thinks I'm pretty - but he's not a creep about it either.

The guy who's been flirting with me actually told me he would have asked me out about 3 days into me working there, if I didn't have a BF. I told him oh, well I've had a BF for over a year and don't foresee that changing - rather happy in my relationship. Plus, the guy is 15 years older than me. He has a daughter who's 20 ... I'll be 26 on Sunday... Soooo, as Grumpy Cat would say, "No."

So he's always helping out around the warehouse at night, has pretty much stayed in line, gotten in trouble a couple times for comments that really weren't anything worth getting in trouble over IMO. One was just a "fairytale" he created, since I'm pretty certain he's not having relations with any women in elevators at the hospitals when he makes deliveries, like he claims.

Yesterday, I think a line was finally crossed. Only because it's still in my mind and bothering the crap out of me. There's a driver's room, with a sliding window over my desk. While the night linehaul guy was loading his van, this guy went in there and said "You know I want you, right?" all quiet and low. I said "Well you can't have me. We've been over this. Its not happening." He's like "Yeah, I guess you are happy... you smile a lot, especially if you talk about your BF. But if you want to, the offer still stands to get with me. All the hot girls are taken." I cant believe he thinks he's such a stud...

Tonight my BF and the mechanic from his job were outside with me for about an hour. The mechanic drove the BF to my job because we only have 1 car right now, and he lives down the street. I noticed the guy come in, drop his paperwork on my desk, and leave pretty quickly. The night guy told me that he had asked where I was, and when he found out I was with my BF and a friend outside, he said "Well I guess I better get out of here!!!" The night guy says he's worried about me and wants me to watch my back... which now has me wondering what he's seen/heard happen in his time there. I'm the only one at night there, thinking of bringing my tazer to work with me. And bringing it up to the GM tomorrow - she won't like it at all either. My BF said its begun to be ridiculous and I agree.

It just never ends... hoping one of these other jobs will call me back soon!!!

 

[MoochNNoodles]

Oy.  That is sexual harassment.  He could loose his job over it.  Maybe remind him of that.  

I hope something comes through for you soon!!

 

[rosiemac]

It sounds like he needs reigned in, but you did the right thing telling people

 

[keycube]

 He's like..."All the hot girls are taken."

This cracked me up.  Did he fancy that to be a compliment?

Perhaps you could do him a favor and tell him, "It's unlikely that everyone's taken...they just think you're a tool".

 

[natalie_ca]

Definitely talk to the manager about it.  Tell him/her that this person is making you uncomfortable. He follows you around and corners you in isolated areas and makes sexual comments to you.

What he is doing is considered sexual harassment, and is against the law.
 

 

[tara g]

This cracked me up.  Did he fancy that to be a compliment?

Perhaps you could do him a favor and tell him, "It's unlikely that everyone's taken...they just think you're a tool".

I wish I had thought of that :lol3: Usually I'm good at witty comebacks!

The managers told me they talked with his boss (the drivers are contracted to us through another company) in reference to one of the other drivers not getting back til nearly 8pm last night. I told them they will have to be talking to that boss again soon about the one who bugs me. They cant believe he hasn't let up yet. After he had gotten spoken to once for a comment not even directed at me, he stepped back a bit, but now is back doing it more than ever. The night guy said last night "Be sure if you're alone with him here, you're within the security camera view." The other supervisor said that apparently one of the other women talks him up, telling him he can get me if he keeps trying. I finally found his FB right before I went to work, so I can block him from looking at it all the time.

Luckily my BF told me today that one of the other companies I sent my resume to called him (he had contacted the head mechanic there who forwarded mine straight to the right people) and said the owner of the company was visiting and is very impressed with my resume and wants to get me in for an interview asap. So,:cross: :cross: :cross: on that.

 

[MoochNNoodles]

I'm glad you talked to them.  Can you carry pepper spray or anything while at work?  I'm glad you blocked him from Facebook too.  Someone needs to talk to that other woman too.  Shame on her!

 

[c1atsite]

Oy.  That is sexual harassment.  He could loose his job over it.  Maybe remind him of that.  

I hope something comes through for you soon!!

Exactly. A workplace is a place for work, not for flirtation. Maybe ask him if he realizes that? Tons of people use workplaces for socialization and some even think flirtation is simply socialization. It's infuriating. Either they're tools or theyre truly unaware that flirtation is not socialization  - Excessive socialization and especially flirtation are inappropriate for the workplace.  

 

[margecat]

I wish I had thought of that

Usually I'm good at witty comebacks!

The managers told me they talked with his boss (the drivers are contracted to us through another company) in reference to one of the other drivers not getting back til nearly 8pm last night. I told them they will have to be talking to that boss again soon about the one who bugs me. They cant believe he hasn't let up yet. After he had gotten spoken to once for a comment not even directed at me, he stepped back a bit, but now is back doing it more than ever. The night guy said last night "Be sure if you're alone with him here, you're within the security camera view." The other supervisor said that apparently one of the other women talks him up, telling him he can get me if he keeps trying.

I finally found his FB right before I went to work, so I can block him from looking at it all the time.

Luckily my BF told me today that one of the other companies I sent my resume to called him (he had contacted the head mechanic there who forwarded mine straight to the right people) and said the owner of the company was visiting and is very impressed with my resume and wants to get me in for an interview asap. So,

on that.

Our workplace requires us to take a sexual harrassment class. I remember them saying that someone may ask you out up to 3 times before it's considered sexual harrassment, if you don't file a complaint before that. After 3 times, with no telling them "No", oen should file a complaint.

Before that class, I had a few guys who went too far--bending down to rub my foot, kissing me (same guy!); another was a visiting tech, married with a baby on the way. He'd come over and massage my shoulders and/or tell dirty jokes to see me blush.  Another kept asking me out, and calling me at home. I was older and wiser then, and told his supervisor (another woman) who said it was sexual harrassment. He never was vulgar, but I simply didn't want to date a co-worker, and also was not attracted to him. I finally wrote him a note, and he wrote one back, saying that he understood. Hasn't bothered me in years.

 

[tara g]

Before that class, I had a few guys who went too far--bending down to rub my foot, kissing me (same guy!); another was a visiting tech, married with a baby on the way. He'd come over and massage my shoulders and/or tell dirty jokes to see me blush.  Another kept asking me out, and calling me at home. I was older and wiser then, and told his supervisor (another woman) who said it was sexual harrassment. He never was vulgar, but I simply didn't want to date a co-worker, and also was not attracted to him. I finally wrote him a note, and he wrote one back, saying that he understood. Hasn't bothered me in years.

Wow! That almost makes this guy seem tame. He's been okay the last couple nights. Wednesday he wasn't bad, I'm thinking because the night guy was sitting here too waiting to go. Then last night, my BF and friend were coming again, so he left without too much lingering and no comments - other than to tell the new guy who is doing his old route to make sure he tells me I'm pretty when handing me the paperwork. The night guy wanted to meet my BF, and told him he should be here just once to threaten the guy (BF is definitely bigger than him).

Hoping the dude keeps to how he has been - with minimal inappropriate comments. At least until I can get out of here and find something better. And not tell him where I'm going (when I mentioned what my last job opportunity was, he made sure to tell me he drove by there everyday )

I also blocked him on FB the other night. I finally tracked him down on there and made it so I no longer exist in his searches, so he can't stare at my pics all the time.

 

[natalie_ca]

This cracked me up.  Did he fancy that to be a compliment?

Perhaps you could do him a favor and tell him, "It's unlikely that everyone's taken...they just think you're a tool".

Funny, I didn't take that as an insult at all.  I understood it that he was giving her a compliment by saying that she was one of the good ones, and that she was taken.

However, what he is doing is sexual harassment.

 

[Winchester]

When I worked in a paper plant, it was so bad that the women's restroom needed to be locked at all times. I was given a key to the restroom and was warned to make sure it was locked...especially when I was inside. The guys were that bad, especially on third shift. When I first started working there, you could count the number of women there on two hands....and have fingers leftover. Some of them, including (especially) our union president, were angry when a woman would come in because that woman was taking a job away from a man, who needed it more than we did. There were some real neanderthals there....and that's really a bad thing to say about neanderthals. The woman had to prove herself time and time again; she had to make sure that she was doing the job correctly and that she didn't expect any help.

We couldn't make any friends. Most of the people were males and you all know what happens when a man and woman become friends! 

Sometimes I can't believe I lasted there for 18 years. I hated that place with a passion.

 

[keycube]

Funny, I didn't take that as an insult at all.  I understood it that he was giving her a compliment by saying that she was one of the good ones, and that she was taken.

However, what he is doing is sexual harassment.

You're absolutely right; it's odd I didn't see it the way you explained it, even after multiple viewings. I think I got hung up on thinking he was an even bigger jerk than he actually was.

 

[tara g]

Funny, I didn't take that as an insult at all.  I understood it that he was giving her a compliment by saying that she was one of the good ones, and that she was taken.

However, what he is doing is sexual harassment.

I saw it as a compliment about being one of the good ones, but Keycube has a point that maybe not all the good ones are taken, its the way he approaches them and thinks he's just gonna make them swoon into his arms after making comments about how bad he "wants" them.

He asked me if I would be waiting for him with open arms on Friday, I said no, but the warehouse door will be open as usual for you, thats about it. My fellow supervisor, who works the day shift and is usually gone by 4pm, couldn't believe how blunt about stuff the annoying guy is. He started a new route, so hopefully now that means less later nights with him hanging around. The BF and friend showed up again out of nowhere Friday (weren't planning on them coming by) - the guy must've sensed it because he beat feet out of there about 2 minutes before they showed up :lol3:

 

[otto]

You see being called "one of the good ones" as a compliment? Why? It's a demeaning comment by someone who clearly carries an outsized ego. That attitude used to be called male chauvinist pig. He lumps women into "good ones" and "bad ones"? Like cattle, right? The man is breaking the law every time he speaks to you this way. Enough already, do something about it, press charges, so he doesn't move on to the next victim when he's done with you. It's disgusting.

 

[spudsmom]

I wish I had thought of that

Usually I'm good at witty comebacks!

The managers told me they talked with his boss (the drivers are contracted to us through another company) in reference to one of the other drivers not getting back til nearly 8pm last night. I told them they will have to be talking to that boss again soon about the one who bugs me. They cant believe he hasn't let up yet. After he had gotten spoken to once for a comment not even directed at me, he stepped back a bit, but now is back doing it more than ever. The night guy said last night "Be sure if you're alone with him here, you're within the security camera view." The other supervisor said that apparently one of the other women talks him up, telling him he can get me if he keeps trying.

I finally found his FB right before I went to work, so I can block him from looking at it all the time.

Luckily my BF told me today that one of the other companies I sent my resume to called him (he had contacted the head mechanic there who forwarded mine straight to the right people) and said the owner of the company was visiting and is very impressed with my resume and wants to get me in for an interview asap. So,

on that.

 Wow! He must be sooo taken with you that he can't help himself. Yeah, I would be watching out for him.

Just wondering why you checked out his FB, hopefully to block him if you get a friends request. Sounds like a creep!

 

[natalie_ca]

You see being called "one of the good ones" as a compliment? Why?

I didn't say that I saw it as a compliment. I meant that the way I read the statement it looked to me like he was giving her one (in his own creepy way), or trying to, by using the common phrase, "all the good ones are taken."

My response was to Keycube's reply:

                                                                Originally Posted by Keycube  
 

                                                                This cracked me up.  Did he fancy that to be a compliment?

                                                                Perhaps you could do him a favor and tell him, "It's unlikely that everyone's taken...they just think you're a tool".

As I said, what he is doing is sexually harassing her, and that is against the law.

The fact that you thought I was ok with what he said, shows that there are many ways to interpret something in writing, because you can't see the person's face or hear the inflection in their voice.

 

[otto]

My reply was to mostly Tara who did say she saw it as a compliment, in those words:

I saw it as a compliment about being one of the good ones,

though your comment did surprise me, also.

I do not and would not take any such demeaning derogatory statement as a compliment in the context of the subject of this thread. He is treating her like a cow ready to be chosen for slaughter.

Whether he thinks he is giving her a compliment or not is not relevant. He is harassing her.

It's sickening that this still goes on in spite of all the laws against it. And it will continue until people (not just women, it happens to men too, I realize) start actually insisting that it be stopped by reporting it in the proper chain of command, immediately, when it happens to them. I can't really tell if that is what the OP has done, or if she is just talking about it to people, but since it is continuing,and if the proper reports have been made , the next step is the legal route.