Being a single woman who works

[mommytobuck]

Just love him, that is all he wants......

No no, your creature bears no relation to mine.

There is nothing that can calm my boy during a storm. He cries and cries and gets comfort from nothing I do. In fact he seems completely unaware that I can ever do anything to assist him. I always find that funny as I am much bigger than him but he never looks to me for anything but food. My boy isn't really even very affectionate. I am sure he loves me like the mother cat who brings him food but he doesn't like to be touched at all. He doesn't sit on my lap, sleep with me (even in the same room -- he has his own room). He stands and sits about 4 feet from me at all times and always under a table or something so I can't pick him up. I am just the caretaker of the house who provides him food and cleans up his litter box.

I do think I am done with the vet. The problem is that every time I go to a message board and ask for cat advice for a cat that may or make not have something wrong with them I get...

"take him to the vet"

Or

"when was your last blood panel"

Speaking of

ou mentioned he is healthy a couple of times, I assume and hope this is per a full senior panel of bloodwork and not just a quick check up right? When was his last bloodwork done?

I don't know what that is but they looked pretty complete to me. My cat had to be drugged to get x-rays and I told the doctor to do as much as she could. Cost me 1K so I am thinking she did. He also had urine. All were fine. This is like 2 weeks ago. Also X-rays.

 

[jen]

No one here is a vet so all we can do is guess and give advice. But it would be irresponsible to do so for something so serious, without knowing what a professional has said about the situation and nothing is more direct towards getting answers, than bloodwork since it tells organ function and other levels. This is not something that can be guessed at and not something to mess around with if the bloodwork levels are off.

I will give it to you that this is not what you originally asked, we just get concerned because we all know cats do not show when there is something wrong, even pain, until it is very serious. You cat being 14 years old and acting so odd, the first thing we think of is there must be a medical reason for this behavior or symptoms.

To answer your original question... yes, I have mostly lived alone and once with a guy who hated my cat and I have had Nora since she was a kitten. She was left under a laundry basket with a brick on top when a friends roommate went out of town and I stole her. She is now 16 and has road across country with me twice. I harness walked her at rest stops, we stayed in hotels, and I take her to work with me all the time (at a vet clinic) because she loves to travel and go places and meet new people. 3 out of the past 5 cats I have had were like this, although none as chill as Nora. 1 of the others was semi-feral and I couldn't even pet her most of her life, the other was scared of his own shadow and had FIV.

Sorry for being annoying with the "what did the vet and bloodwork say" questions but gosh, it is just so very important to know more about the medical history when trying to help solve kitty problems

 

[Lisannez]

No he has been like this for years. Since 3 years old he was terrible at the vet. I just had him checked out and he is very healthy. It is possible that my anxiety is making it worse so... I have resolved to try to ignore him more. I just think he is naturally like this and being alone has made things worse. If I were to take a guess he is very set in his ways. So anything that is not within the field of normal life gets him scared. When he gets scare he reacts badly. All reason goes out the window. I wish his hearing was going during thunderstorms. But someone gave me a good idea on that... he hides under the bed anyway and I can use a noise cancelling machine (I have one that I use for me) to reduce the noise.

Our Ragdoll is similar to what you describe. It's funny because we have a Tuxie and a Ragdoll that my fiance got 6 months apart, same age, same home enviornment and the Tuxie is not anxious in the least bit, but the Ragdoll is scared of her own shadow. So it's not always your behavior that causes this, sometimes it's how nature made them or something happened before you got the cat. Our Ragdoll was found on the side of the road with her siblings in a plastic bag. She's petrified of loud noises, storms, rain, plastic bags, black coats, the doorbell, the sound skype makes when you get a call, boots, etc you name it.

 

[mommytobuck]

No one here is a vet so all we can do is guess and give advice. But it would be irresponsible to do so for something so serious, without knowing what a professional has said about the situation and nothing is more direct towards getting answers, than bloodwork since it tells organ function and other levels. This is not something that can be guessed at and not something to mess around with if the bloodwork levels are off.

I don't know why that isn't my decision. This isn't specific to you but I do feel a lot of times people don't know the answer and want to post so they say take the cat to the vet when, in reality, the cat isn't nearly in need of a vet. Personally if I had followed the advice of my vet from the time my cat was younger he would be dead now. My vet insisted that dry food was what he should have all day. 14 years later... my cat's kidneys are healthy. My first cat to have healthy kidneys this long.

I do believe there is a whole range of cat health issues that are easily taken care of my the owner at home. Especially in indoor cats.

With a cat that gets hurt every time it goes to the vet the real irresponsible thing to do is to keep telling the owner to go to the vet - if the issue can be taken care of at home.

If it is a serious issue of course I will take the cat in but I come to message boards like this for reasonable advice on that and far too often the first post for anything is "take him to the vet" and imho that is unreasonable and annoying.

 

[Lisannez]

No no, your creature bears no relation to mine.

There is nothing that can calm my boy during a storm. He cries and cries and gets comfort from nothing I do. In fact he seems completely unaware that I can ever do anything to assist him. I always find that funny as I am much bigger than him but he never looks to me for anything but food. My boy isn't really even very affectionate. I am sure he loves me like the mother cat who brings him food but he doesn't like to be touched at all. He doesn't sit on my lap, sleep with me (even in the same room -- he has his own room). He stands and sits about 4 feet from me at all times and always under a table or something so I can't pick him up. I am just the caretaker of the house who provides him food and cleans up his litter box.

I do think I am done with the vet. The problem is that every time I go to a message board and ask for cat advice for a cat that may or make not have something wrong with them I get...

"take him to the vet"

Or

"when was your last blood panel"

Speaking of


I don't know what that is but they looked pretty complete to me. My cat had to be drugged to get x-rays and I told the doctor to do as much as she could. Cost me 1K so I am thinking she did. He also had urine. All were fine. This is like 2 weeks ago. Also X-rays.

I think sometimes we just have to accept that cats, like humans are who they are and although we may try to “fix” them we just cannot. I think people gravitate towards the standard advice of see the vet, get blood test because if something is physically wrong then it can be understood and fixed. But when it comes to behavior and mental health, even in humans, and certainly in cats who cannot sit on the psychologist’s couch and tell you what’s wrong it’s not so clear. I think at this point since all physical ailments appear to have been ruled out, you have two choices, you can accept your cat for who they are and learn to live with that, or ask the vet about getting the cat on some Prozac or other mood stabilizing drug. We had a cat growing up that would incessantly pick at herself and the vet put her on Prozac and it changed her life. Ultimately though it seems to me that a lot of this may stem from a human issue, meaning you feel insecure about how you are raising the cat, you are blaming yourself, and I cannot help but hear that you repeat often that you are single, so my question is are you comfortable and confident with that single status? You have to trust that you are doing everything that you can for your cat and leave it at that. No being single and living alone does not make your cat any worse off than someone living in a committed relationship or marriage with a cat. Our animals come to us with a myriad of issues that we will likely never know about or understand. Some things you just cannot change despite your best effort. I was single until I was 38 and I got a lot of judgment by society and friends. Being called a crazy cat person/lady is funny until it’s not. I think the best thing you can do is gain confidence in yourself that you are a good cat parent, and accept your Cat for who they are.

 

[jen]

I understand and I agree that it would be rude to just tell you to take your cat to the vet with nothing else. There are times when it is absolutely necessary... For example... If someone with a male cat comes on here and said their cat cannot urinate and stands in the litterbox crying all day and wants to fix that with home remedies, THAT would be an absolute emergency and no one should be trying to "help" when a cat is blocked. That cat will suffer a very painful drawn out death if they wait. I bring this up because it has happened before. Broken limbs are also not something to mess around with, neither are eye issues in case of an ulcer and the wrong medications can cause blindness or loss of eye.

The bottom line is that it depends on the case. The reason I specifically asked you what I did is simply due to the cats age and the severity of the issue. If you had said the vet told me this, the bloodwork says that, what do you all think or have you all dealt with this? Then that is the time for people to actually help and not just say go to the vet over and over again.

I have 8,000+ messages (which isn't a lot) and I have been a member since 2001, I am trained as a vet assistant and receptionist and have dealt in animal rescue and welfare for over 20 years. I will do everything I can to help someone with their cat issues. If it sounds severe or the cat is a senior, the first thing I or anyone will want to know is where the bloodwork stands. It is just so so important when trying to help with so many issues cats have.