Behavior problems with my cat

[deeandforest86]

Hi everyone

I have a gorgeous Tabby/torte cat who was rescued off the streets. At the time she was rescued I tried so hard to make her an indoors cat. There was an older cat at the time whomy she followed and this cat came and went outside as she pleased to do so.

So now we have our own place (my bf and i) and our cat had a daily routine of going outside during the day and she is indoors by night time to keep her safe.

At first it was really easy to get her inside...she even came in by herself. Now it's a struggle to get her inside and she hates being indoors. We've tried playing with her and feeding her well she even goes outside when it's pouring with rain and thundering. She almost never wants to be with us.

Im really upset because I spoil my cat to the bone i love her so much and it feels like she just doesn't want to be around me unless I'm outside.

I've tried locking her up and she is the most miserable cat ever...I dont know what to do. I'm hoping as she gets older shell just want to sit at home and chill with me and my partner. Any advice as to what I can do?

Thank you

 

[Kieka]

I have indoor/outdoor cats and do the same thing where they are in at night. Mine will have days where they are perfect and go with the routine and then times (especially right now with daylight savings) when it is harder. I find the best way to look at it is as a constant reinforcement of their training. 

One thing you probably want to do, if you don't already, is install some sort of cat door with a microchip trigger (either a hanging tag or using the implanted microchip) so your cat has free access in and out. It is a key step in making her feel like she comes and goes at her desire and provides a safety space if a dog or something else is chasing her. I recommend SureFlap PetDoor because it also has a programmable curfew that denies outside access at night. For me, that is great for the rare occasions I get home late I know the cats will be stuck inside once they go in. 

I would start with some basic name/clicker/whistle training to retrain her to come when called. It will be miserable for a while, not going to lie, but starting over will essentially reset her expectations and a new routine. You will want to keep her indoors 100% for a few days (I know she will yell and complain, there is no way to avoid it but cats are adaptable and she will be fine. Link had medical required house confinement on and off for 4 months. I know the pain and I know he is probably more responsive now after reinforcing his training while confined). While inside start associating her name/a clicker/a whistle with treats (I would do freeze dried meats but make sure you do just a small amount each time because you will be doing it frequently). Something she really likes and you have to never give it without the signal (I am going to say just clicker for simplicity) before hand. Once she is responding to the clicker every time you can move her back outside.

For about a month you want to only let her out under direct supervision. Have dinner outside, read outside, sit down and just enjoy some outdoor time (if you happen to be in a snowy area you can sit just inside the door, the idea is she knows you are there and is responding). At first if she goes more than a few feet from you use the clicker and call her back (you still reward the clicker response with treats at this time). As long as she is responding and coming back each time you can let her go further away and for longer before calling her back. The idea is very slowly expanding the boundaries of how far she is allowed to go so think of allowing her a few feet further each day. If at any point she doesn't return right away to the clicker you pick her up and go back in the house and try again in 15 minutes or the next day. The idea is getting it into her kitty brain that if she comes when called she gets a treat. The aside is that if she doesn't come when called she is taken back inside with no treats.

Once she is responding regularly and returning to the outdoor clicker you can start letting her out unsupervised. If you are home during the day you will want to continue using the clicker to bring her back periodically throughout the day so she is alert to the calling. Once you start letting her out during the days again you will want to make sure she gets called in every night at around the same time (personally I do sunset because it stays the same time to the cat who can't read a clock). I feed my cats their wet food for the day at that time and the cat door gets locked for the evening. I follow the same routine after they have eaten of a little TV (or video games) and then doing before bed rounds of feeding fish, checking doors and shutting blinds. The cats know what the signal is and each of them usually settle down and are out before I get into bed. 

Right now is a little off because of daylight savings and Link was up yelling that something wasn't right last night. But usually if I ignore him and pretend to sleep he will lay down after realizing no amount of yelling will get a response. Link is the trouble child and takes the longest to come in; he also had the least relaxed training because he is generally good. Rocket was feral and went through an extended 6 month version of the above training and she never meows or complains. She is usually the first in and quietly settles in for the night. Nightfury is special and is super excited to get called in, I really wish I could share a video of him running in when called. 

 

[hbunny]

Hi everyone

I have a gorgeous Tabby/torte cat who was rescued off the streets. At the time she was rescued I tried so hard to make her an indoors cat. There was an older cat at the time whomy she followed and this cat came and went outside as she pleased to do so.

So now we have our own place (my bf and i) and our cat had a daily routine of going outside during the day and she is indoors by night time to keep her safe.

At first it was really easy to get her inside...she even came in by herself. Now it's a struggle to get her inside and she hates being indoors. We've tried playing with her and feeding her well she even goes outside when it's pouring with rain and thundering. She almost never wants to be with us.

Im really upset because I spoil my cat to the bone i love her so much and it feels like she just doesn't want to be around me unless I'm outside.

I've tried locking her up and she is the most miserable cat ever...I dont know what to do. I'm hoping as she gets older shell just want to sit at home and chill with me and my partner. Any advice as to what I can do?

Thank you

Is she spayed?  Or is there a chance she might be in heat and wanting to roam?  Just my first thought!

My two boys, both neutered, have no desire at all to go out.  They were both former outdoor-living cats too.  But my girl...that's a whole different story.  I finally got her spayed and indoors for good about a month ago, and she wants out all the time.  I just always attributed it to one of her now-grown kittens is living outside and he is always on the porch.  But when I first brought her inside she was in heat and literally went nuts trying to get out every window, sneak out the door, just any way she thought she could get outside.  She was one of those cats that truly loved being outside, running up and down trees, through the woods, and hunting.  But my boys did too, and now they peek outside if I open the door, then high-tail it back into another room in the house.  I've always thought it odd that my girl was the one that still wants out.

 

[deeandforest86]

Is she spayed?  Or is there a chance she might be in heat and wanting to roam?  Just my first thought!

My two boys, both neutered, have no desire at all to go out.  They were both former outdoor-living cats too.  But my girl...that's a whole different story.  I finally got her spayed and indoors for good about a month ago, and she wants out all the time.  I just always attributed it to one of her now-grown kittens is living outside and he is always on the porch.  But when I first brought her inside she was in heat and literally went nuts trying to get out every window, sneak out the door, just any way she thought she could get outside.  She was one of those cats that truly loved being outside, running up and down trees, through the woods, and hunting.  But my boys did too, and now they peek outside if I open the door, then high-tail it back into another room in the house.  I've always thought it odd that my girl was the one that still wants out.

Yeah she's desexed so there's no reason for her to want any sort of attention in that way.

I'm worried she is being fed else where because I've seen her jump over this neighbors yard and at one point when I was calling her she wouldn't even come home...she just ignored me as I called her and went to the neighbors house. Im thinking about putting a device on her to track her moves to see if she actually goes inside the house.

 

[deeandforest86]

I have indoor/outdoor cats and do the same thing where they are in at night. Mine will have days where they are perfect and go with the routine and then times (especially right now with daylight savings) when it is harder. I find the best way to look at it is as a constant reinforcement of their training. 

One thing you probably want to do, if you don't already, is install some sort of cat door with a microchip trigger (either a hanging tag or using the implanted microchip) so your cat has free access in and out. It is a key step in making her feel like she comes and goes at her desire and provides a safety space if a dog or something else is chasing her. I recommend SureFlap PetDoor because it also has a programmable curfew that denies outside access at night. For me, that is great for the rare occasions I get home late I know the cats will be stuck inside once they go in. 

I would start with some basic name/clicker/whistle training to retrain her to come when called. It will be miserable for a while, not going to lie, but starting over will essentially reset her expectations and a new routine. You will want to keep her indoors 100% for a few days (I know she will yell and complain, there is no way to avoid it but cats are adaptable and she will be fine. Link had medical required house confinement on and off for 4 months. I know the pain and I know he is probably more responsive now after reinforcing his training while confined). While inside start associating her name/a clicker/a whistle with treats (I would do freeze dried meats but make sure you do just a small amount each time because you will be doing it frequently). Something she really likes and you have to never give it without the signal (I am going to say just clicker for simplicity) before hand. Once she is responding to the clicker every time you can move her back outside.

For about a month you want to only let her out under direct supervision. Have dinner outside, read outside, sit down and just enjoy some outdoor time (if you happen to be in a snowy area you can sit just inside the door, the idea is she knows you are there and is responding). At first if she goes more than a few feet from you use the clicker and call her back (you still reward the clicker response with treats at this time). As long as she is responding and coming back each time you can let her go further away and for longer before calling her back. The idea is very slowly expanding the boundaries of how far she is allowed to go so think of allowing her a few feet further each day. If at any point she doesn't return right away to the clicker you pick her up and go back in the house and try again in 15 minutes or the next day. The idea is getting it into her kitty brain that if she comes when called she gets a treat. The aside is that if she doesn't come when called she is taken back inside with no treats.

Once she is responding regularly and returning to the outdoor clicker you can start letting her out unsupervised. If you are home during the day you will want to continue using the clicker to bring her back periodically throughout the day so she is alert to the calling. Once you start letting her out during the days again you will want to make sure she gets called in every night at around the same time (personally I do sunset because it stays the same time to the cat who can't read a clock). I feed my cats their wet food for the day at that time and the cat door gets locked for the evening. I follow the same routine after they have eaten of a little TV (or video games) and then doing before bed rounds of feeding fish, checking doors and shutting blinds. The cats know what the signal is and each of them usually settle down and are out before I get into bed. 

Right now is a little off because of daylight savings and Link was up yelling that something wasn't right last night. But usually if I ignore him and pretend to sleep he will lay down after realizing no amount of yelling will get a response. Link is the trouble child and takes the longest to come in; he also had the least relaxed training because he is generally good. Rocket was feral and went through an extended 6 month version of the above training and she never meows or complains. She is usually the first in and quietly settles in for the night. Nightfury is special and is super excited to get called in, I really wish I could share a video of him running in when called. 

Thanks for sharing this with me. My cats not really a treat creature...she's gone off her food and everything because she's that obsessed with being outside. As stated in another response in this thread I think someone else is feeding her because she's not eating.

She does come to her name and she loves it when we are outdoors with her but calling her in is a big challange.we have to pretend that we want to play with her like grab a stick or something and she'll come running to that. But yeh once shes in she's so miserable she will go out of her way to let us know that locking her up is upsetting to her. She'll sleep in the corner of the house or some where odd.

I'm really upset that she's not a cat thats humble about being at home. I'm locking her up today.

I'll buy a treat and practice calling her to me she really does respond to her name being called.

 

[Kieka]

Are you friendly enough with the neighbor to talk to them? 

One of my neighbors likes to feed Link and he visits her during the day for attention. But I talked to her and explained that he is on a strict diet and gets sick if he eats the wrong food (not really true but cheap food does give him diarrhea because he is used to high protein, grain free). I gave her a small container with treats and told her that she can give him 3 treats a day and it won't mess with his diet. That was 3 months ago and she still hasn't run out of treats because she is worried about overfeeding him now after we talked but when she does run out I will refill it with the treats I want him to eat. I also told her I don't want him going in her house because he will get used to going in and one of these times fall asleep, "what if he gets locked in or makes a mess? I would feel horrible", and it really worries me when he isn't home on time. So she is happy having him visit and getting to give him treats. She keeps him out of her home because she respects me enough that she understands my concern when he doesn't come home on time. She calls it joint custody of him and everyone is happy. 

My guys only like treats that are tossed. I get funny looks if I just put the treats on the ground. When they are being particularly stubborn I will toss the treats into the house and they chase after them right into the house. 

 

[deeandforest86]

So we have a house behind us, she jumps through there to get to the other house behind that neighbours house. So, essentially I haven't been able to truly identify what my cat is doing over there all the time. So that's why I was going to invest in a cheap tracking device to see if our cats just laying around their or actually going inside the house...not sure if  tracking devices actually do that. But some tracking devices come with voice activation...so if I call her I wonder if she'll come.

I'd like to give the treat thing a go but I was thinking of a simpler solutions and that is to by a cat lead long enough for her to walk around our backyard so she's not jumping over peoples places. I've had the one neighbor behind me complain saying that our cat is leaving poo all over her gardens...even though they are biodegradable (she's not very bright) and also her little boy shouted at my partner that our cat should stop jumping in their yard. I really don't like our neighbours lol...but yeah I'm thinking it's time to put her on a leash. It makes her less inclined to hunt. 

Would this be a cruel idea?

 

[hbunny]

 
So we have a house behind us, she jumps through there to get to the other house behind that neighbours house. So, essentially I haven't been able to truly identify what my cat is doing over there all the time. So that's why I was going to invest in a cheap tracking device to see if our cats just laying around their or actually going inside the house...not sure if  tracking devices actually do that. But some tracking devices come with voice activation...so if I call her I wonder if she'll come.

I'd like to give the treat thing a go but I was thinking of a simpler solutions and that is to by a cat lead long enough for her to walk around our backyard so she's not jumping over peoples places. I've had the one neighbor behind me complain saying that our cat is leaving poo all over her gardens...even though they are biodegradable (she's not very bright) and also her little boy shouted at my partner that our cat should stop jumping in their yard. I really don't like our neighbours lol...but yeah I'm thinking it's time to put her on a leash. It makes her less inclined to hunt. 

Would this be a cruel idea?

Never, ever leave a cat unattended on any sort of leash or tie-out.  It is very dangerous to the cat.  If you want to allow her to go outside leashed, make sure you are holding the end of it at all times, not tethered to anything, similar to walking with a dog.  Not only could she choke herself or injure herself, even if with a harness and not a collar, it leaves her vulnerable to any threats.  Even if you think you are in a safe area, think about being "tied" to one spot and no way to get away from anything.  It's horrible on a cat.  I have read horror stories of situations like this, cats injuring themselves badly twisting trying to free themselves, and being attacked by other animals AND people.  It's just extremely risky and not worth it.

I wonder if your neighbor--the one whose house she is fascinated with--has a cat she is going to visit.  Or, like you, I wonder if someone is letting her inside and feeding her.  I had a cat that we thought was a stray one summer that spent all day almost every day napping on our porch.  We fed it, although it didn't eat very much.  We called her Miss Kitty.  Turns out, she was a HE, and his name was Tigger and lived two houses down.  His owner let him outside every morning and he chose to spend his days napping on our porch.  This could be a similar situation! 

Like others said---is there any way you could speak to the owners of the home she is so obsessed with?

 

[mysticotala]

Could you build some sort of catio? I bought a pop up mesh tent (made for pets) that I put my cat in when I'm gardening outside. Might be an idea. Not a huge amount of space, but still soome fresh air!

 

[deeandforest86]

@hbunny  Yeah I did some  research and it is cruel to have them on a lead...I'm really out of options. I live in a rental property so I can't build a cat door or put up an enclosed cage outside. To be honest, I have our bathroom window opened and she's free to come and go as she pleases...she rarely uses it. She visits me in the morning when I am home but as soon as it starts getting a little bit close to dark...she is no where to be found unless you call to her.

She's been locked up in the house since yesterday, and she's not eating anything. She eats a little bit but she's not eating as much as she used to. I wonder if there is a cat professional that can help me with my cat. I feel like I've lost Forest.

She hates being in here so much she'll hide and sit by the window and frump. It makes me sad that she has no desire to spend time with us unless she's being forced to be indoors. 

I've not abused my cat, she has a warm home, she is very loved - why she doesn't want much to do with us is beyond me.

I know I'm taking this personally, there's other stresses in my life at the moment, and to top everything off my own cat doesn't want to be around us. She doesn't even play like a cat...like she doesn't get into those playful hyper modes. She just mopes around all day and she's only interested in exploring and hunting.

Yesterday, I called her names a few times and she comes to me - I tried giving her treat but she snobbed it. I think she knows that each move I make is a ploy to keep her close to home.

@MysticoTala  - As stated above because I'm renting the catio idea might not be a solution unless...I can rent one and it sits in the back yard so when we move someone can just pick it up and remove the cat cage. I would prefer the catio however.

 

[sprin]

You can take your cat out for walks on a leash in your backyard and see if that gives her outdoor time that she enjoys but also lets you guys bond. There's nothing wrong with a cat on a leash as long as you're out there with her. It might be a good idea to just keep her inside for now otherwise, at least until she becomes more a member of the family again. She might be moppy for the first few days, but eventually she'll come around. Remember, she does care about you guys and those feelings haven't gone away. Is there anything about the house that could be scaring her or making her not want to be there? I'd be worried that she's becoming so distant, because she could eventually just stop coming home. Also, if there isn't another family feeding her then there could be a health issue making her eat less and avoid contact. Cats sometimes become distant while they're in pain.

 

[deeandforest86]

You can take your cat out for walks on a leash in your backyard and see if that gives her outdoor time that she enjoys but also lets you guys bond. There's nothing wrong with a cat on a leash as long as you're out there with her. It might be a good idea to just keep her inside for now otherwise, at least until she becomes more a member of the family again. She might be moppy for the first few days, but eventually she'll come around. Remember, she does care about you guys and those feelings haven't gone away. Is there anything about the house that could be scaring her or making her not want to be there? I'd be worried that she's becoming so distant, because she could eventually just stop coming home. Also, if there isn't another family feeding her then there could be a health issue making her eat less and avoid contact. Cats sometimes become distant while they're in pain.

I really couldn't tell you what it is about our house that makes it so unbearable for the cat. I'm thinking instinctively she just prefers to be outdoors. When we first moved into our new house about 2 years ago my partner and I kept our cat indoors for more then 3 months and she just couldn't stand it. We bought her toys/cat stands and treats and she just didn't care for any of that.

It's just bizarre that she's this way but maybe we just got an unlucky...cat? Maybe she just doesn't want to hang around us. Even if I spent hundreds of dollars to deck out a section of the house to make it enjoyable for her she would hate it.

I feel really unhappy about it. What sucks even more is just before I left for work today she bit me on the leg because she was desperate to get outhe. If shes not going to be nice to me and she wants to run away. I'll just adopt a car that will value my company because if forest doesn't want to to eat with the family I can't hold her against her will.

I feel like crying...I don't know why this whole thing is impacting me emotionally.