Behavior of my exotic shorthair

[okihost]

We have owned Penny our all black exotic for about three years but for some reason she is not a very affectionate at all to neither my or my wife though she does sometimes show some attention to my wife.

The main thing that bothers me is most of the time when I go to pet her or walk near her she runs off and hides from me as if I was some type of abuser and I just don't get it. We have never even really yelled at this cat and we got her because we heard they were very affectionate but this one just runs around screaming and does not really want anyone to touch her and is still scared to death of me for some reason even after three years of waiting hand and foot on her not to mention the other cat (stray) does not want anything to do with her and gets totally jealous when she gets any attention.

One thing me and my wife thought of was when we first got her we were really worried about FIV so we kept her in the bathroom for about a month and did give her attention but we think maybe that may have mentally screwed her up a little bit or maybe the the breeders were not that nice to her (it was not the nicest enviroment but we did not know any better at the time and still got her)

So I am trying to find a way to kind of bond with her more and see if we can actually get her to act like a cat instead of hiding in the closets (70% of her life is this) all day long.. I can however get her to show up if I shake the food bag she does not mind me being in her presence but other then that we don't see much of each other

Other thing I wanted to mention is she has some urinary problem and has crystals in her urine so she is on Science Diet XD formula, not sure if it could relate in anyway or not.

Thanks in advance,

Tara and Paul

 

[isis]

I would think that locking her in the bathroom could have a lot to do with it. A bathroom is a very small space, and definitely NOT enough space for a cat. And the fact that she hides in closets could relate to that. Also, if the breeder you got her from was cruel (and especially male), that would explain why she is afraid of you specifically. The FLUTD (urinary problem) MIGHT have something to do with it, or you could just have a really unaffectionate cat. Even if the breed is known for being affectionate, all cats are different, and each has their own personality. However, I suspect that the combination of a bad breeder (the cat could also be inbred, which many purebreds are, and this leads to REALLY bad news, genetics-wise), being locked up for a month, living with a strange cat, and a chronic, very painful condition could ALL have contributed to her fear of/disdain for people. It's hard to say what you might do to fix that... Just keep trying? Do you give her lots of praise when she does come to you? When you shake the bag, pet her, enthusiastically tell her she's a good girl, etc. I've found that nothing works better in training kitties. But if it's part of her personality, or if she's been mistreated in the past, chances are she may never like your company - sad but true....

 

[StefanZ]

How was the breeder? Did he had the cats as family members in his own apartament?

Or did he had them in cages? As is quite usual among american breeders.*
I do guess her living in cages as small... And therefore she not properly domesticized.
Think of her as half feral, it will help you understand her better.

Two whole different milieus... If a kitten not handled and petted by friendly humans, preferably several, when 2-7 weeks, he will always be more or less shy.

If she a caged-upbringed, than the bathroom periode was not dangerous.

As now. Do give her food in small portions-often. You are the food giver. Pet her a little carefully when she eating. Stroke on the back.
Help her also with other things. So you will be PA for her.

Dont look at her whole time=dont stare. Look with half-closed eyes or blinking. Or only a second. Do look a little at side. As friendly non hostile cats do.

Crystals in the urine. It would probably help if she drinks more.
Try to have several different cups of water in several places. One of them with stale water - (some cats prefer stale water).

You may also try with a drink fountain, feks Drinkwell or Cat-it.

Good luck!

*A good breeder may have cats in cages and pet them everyday sufficient amounts. So they healthy and well and well domestcized.
But a non-serious breeder dont care... He produces a lot of money-worth...

 

[gareth]

resisting the urge to hassle a cat, looking thorugh half closed eyes or slowly blinking at them are, in my (humble ) opinion, the big secrets about how to win a cat over.

oh and patience. Lots and lots of patience.