- Apr 4, 2019
- Reaction score
When Ygritte first came here, she WAS a sweet, lovable cat. She would cuddle with ANYONE. She was still even sleeping under the covers with us up until last night, when we decided she was getting too mean to keep under there at night, we were worried she might attack us while we slept. Do you really think a cat that sees me as a predator would sleep under the covers at night?i have known a number of cats who behaved like that. i've rescued feral cats from feral colonies, some over 20 generations old. they almost always behave like that. if you read the board more, you'll find we have people here who rescue and foster cats who also experience this same kind of life-or-death response where the kitty isn't shy - they're going all out to defend themselves. they don't show fear to humans because showing weakness may make the humans more aggressive.
you are ascribing human motivations, feelings and responses to your cat. cats have totally different responses, feelings and motivations than we do. just because the cat doesn't look scared doesn't mean she isn't scared. she's going all out to defend herself.
i am listening, and i absolutely don't think you're lying.
what i think is that you haven't had any experience with this kind of cat/situation. i have, and other posters in this thread have. and i believe from what you're saying that you don't want to hear us because it doesn't fit your view of how cats behave and react.
i'm sorry you feel that way - it must be frustrating, but as long as you believe the cat is basing her behavior on human feelings, nothing can improve. she'd be better off if she was re-homed with someone with experience with cats who feel the need to defend themselves. winning a cat's trust when they're like this isn't a fast process; it often not only takes months, but the cat may never be the friendly, lovable cat you were hoping for.
some cats aren't comfortable with snuggles and petting. my little jeep never was - he'd rip anyone a few bleeding tears who tried to pet him - even my husband, if he didn't stop petting soon enough. he'd let me pet him because i was quick to stop when i saw any hint on his end that he was done - tail wagging, ears going back, posture changing. he knew i would never overstep his boundaries. my husband just didn't notice the signs as well, and he has the literal scars to prove it.
I'm not ascribing human emotion to my cat. I told you previously I know the signs of fear in cats. I know they hide weakness, whether it's pain or fear. Again, you're calling me inexperienced and incapable. And I have been listening. If you'd read my previous comments, I'm experimenting with lots of things that commenters have suggested. But I've still heard no advice on a different approach, one that is based of status aggression. I'm not going to try every approach simultaneously. I'm going to give the things I'm trying NOW time to see if they work before I move onto something else, but I still want ideas in case you guys are wrong, too.
I'm sorry if you think I'm not trying hard enough but I'm not about to give up on my cat just because you think I should. You're coming off as borderline offensive, you just keep telling me I'm doing everything wrong, but you can't give me any new advice. I'm not going to do something that is worsening the situation.
You say you're listening to me, but you're doing exactly what you're saying I'm doing. You're assuming that, because I'm asking a question on a forum, that I have absolutely no experience. And what makes you think that every commenter on this thread is more experienced than me? Every cat I have ever owned has been feral. Ygritte is not feral. I don't think she ever was, except for when she was found and taken to the shelter. I have owned at least 25 cats in my life that I can think of off the top of my head and the only ones that weren't feral were the kittens because they were born and raised in my house. 14 of them were kittens born in my house.
I'm not saying that I won't take advice, I'm here for advice and have been taking it the whole time. But you came along and straight up told me I have no idea what I'm doing or talking about, when that is not the case at all.
Hellenww, thank you, i have made her a sizable box that only she can fit into. It's in her favorite spot in the house and she hasn't come out since! She even seems to be a little nicer since I gave it to her! Maybe we're on the right track now, it is possibly still fear aggression.
I would still like some advice on status aggression, just in case she reverts like she did last time.
I will start a notebook as well. I might as well start one for the other two while I'm at it, right? And sorry, I got a little frustrated, I shouldn't have said no one was listening to me because a lot of you are. I sincerely appreciate all the advice I have been given. But please consider all the things I have said together. Consider the timeline of her behavior and my own opinion, too, because what I'm seeing is firsthand, and I am not inexperienced.
One of the first cats I owned since childhood, Snickers (we had him for 13 years, since I was 6) was the biggest, meanest cat you'd ever seen. No matter how sweet you were to him, he would HURT you. That cat once sunk his teeth as far as they could fit into my leg just because I happened to be walking by. Several times, actually. I still have scars everywhere from him 20 years later. You didn't even have to be in the same room, he could hear your voice and come attack you from across the house. Even in his old age, with everyone ignoring him when he was aggressive over the years, he only got slightly nicer. He did get better with age, but he was always a mean cat. My mom was a cat groomer and worked at a shelter and a pet store, she was an expert on cats and made sure that no one was ever hitting Snickers and was treating him properly. He had his own hiding place, scratching post, and was regularly taken to the vet. I am well aware that there are cats out there that are just plain mean. Snickers was not the only aggression case that I witnessed either, but he was the worst. I am not comparing Ygritte to Snickers by any means, just demonstrating that I'm not completely inexperienced to cat aggression.