Bad Decision

[Kvla]

Hey

I made a bad decision when I was 18 and adopted a cat without my parents permission. I would frequently go to the humane society and look at all the dogs/cats there and give them some love and after a while started to notice this cat was there for a while so I ended up bringing her home. Not to a surprise, my parents weren’t happy and I had to keep her in my bedroom and she occasionally got to let her out to roam. (Probably like 4 hours on the days she was let out)

I do everything I can to make her as happy as possible. She has 4-5 cat trees in my room, balls and mouse toys all over the place, she has her food and water on different levels. I leave the windows open so that she can watch the birds on our roof. I have boxes and I play with her 2 times a day. Whether that be with a string toy, a laser, or I’ll take her outside on a leash and harness.

However, despite how I turned my room into a cat room, she claws at the carpet and meows at the door to get out. I don’t know if this is because I let her explore and she knows that there’s more outside of my room now, or if she really really just hates being in here or with me. And now my problem is in a couple months I’m moving out into a dorm room. While this dorm room is slightly bigger than most with taller ceilings, a bathroom, and extra square footage, I’m worried she’s unhappy in this small space or ruin the carpet and cause a problem with her meowing while I’m gone. I refuse to take her back because I know that while she’s in a small space right now, it’s better than being in that 2x2 cage that she had been in and in a year I’ll have a bigger space for her.

Ive also wondered if she has separation anxiety? Most of the time she’s completely fine if I’m in my room with her, but as soon as I leave she meows up a storm. I tried CBD oil, but I was told that it’s best if you put it on their gums and she doesn’t like being restrained like that and I don’t want to ruin the bond we have as I’m not sure what her past is. I put it in her food once a day for like 2 days, and didn’t notice a difference. Did I not use it long enough? Does it only really work if it’s on her gums?

I considered seeing my vet to see if it really is separation anxiety and to see if there were some actual medications she could be put on to help ease that. My thought is that maybe she associates the door with me leaving and being locked in my room while I’m gone at work? I could be way off.

I’m trying everything possible to make this space as comfortable as possible for her. Like I said earlier, I’m not a believer in dropping your pets off when things get inconvenient and I’m really trying to make this work for the both of us. Any advice/stories on how you dealt with something similar would be really helpful!

 

[maggiedemi]

Do they allow cats in dorm rooms? Will you have a roommate?

 

[LTS3]

Most dorms don't allow pets although there may be exceptions for ESA / comfort animals. Service animals are obviously allowed. Check with your college now to avoid issues later if you're found with an pet in your room. Are you required to live on campus freshman year? If not, can you find an apartment close to the college to live in?

The use of CBD supplement products in pets is questionable. There's no good research done (yet) that indicates CBD supplements helps with a variety of issues in pets or if they are more harm than good. I personally wouldn't use any sort of supplement without discussing with a vet first. CBD products make all sorts of claims of curing illness or issues so it's all a lot of hokey to me, IMO.

If you leave the cat home during college, will your parents take care of her? Even if the cat still has to live in your bedroom, can your parents at least provide basic care and attention? Food, water, clean litter box, playtime?

 

[Kvla]

Do they allow cats in dorm rooms? Will you have a roommate?

Yes and yes. I’m allowed to have pets and my roommate signed the agreement.

 

[Kvla]

Most dorms don't allow pets although there may be exceptions for ESA / comfort animals. Service animals are obviously allowed. Check with your college now to avoid issues later if you're found with an pet in your room. Are you required to live on campus freshman year? If not, can you find an apartment close to the college to live in?

The use of CBD supplement products in pets is questionable. There's no good research done (yet) that indicates CBD supplements helps with a variety of issues in pets or if they are more harm than good. I personally wouldn't use any sort of supplement without discussing with a vet first. CBD products make all sorts of claims of curing illness or issues so it's all a lot of hokey to me, IMO.

If you leave the cat home during college, will your parents take care of her? Even if the cat still has to live in your bedroom, can your parents at least provide basic care and attention? Food, water, clean litter box, playtime?

I’m not required to live in a residence hall, but I already signed the lease and put a downpayment down. My parents won’t care for her, they’d rather her be back at the shelter or adopted by someone else. I think it would be better for her in a dorm where I’d be at when I’m not in school to play with her and have friends that would play with her versus her stay at home where my parents would ignore her besides to keep her alive?

I’ll contact my vet instead of using CBD products.

 

[maggiedemi]

I’m allowed to have pets and my roommate signed the agreement.

It could work out if your roommate is careful with the door and doesn't let her escape. Maybe hang a sign on the door that says Don't Let Cat Escape.

 

[LTS3]

Some things to think about:

Is the roommate someone you know and trust and is 100% ok with the cat being in the room and all the cat stuff and smells (litter box, food, the occasional vomit, etc)? What about inappropriate peeing on the roommate's clothes, etc which can happen if a cat is super stressed out? If you or your roommate have visitors to your dorm room, how will you keep your cat safe? College students can be stupid and do things for "fun".

Dorms can be pretty noisy at time: blasting music, parties, etc. Is your cat ok with loud unexpected noises or will she freak out and hide and constantly be stressed? And there will be students who smoke pot and other stuff. Odors and smoke may seep into your room and that's not good for your cat's health or yours.

Can you afford a cat as a money strapped college student? Or have the time to spend with the cat? Will you take a part time job to pay for cat supplies and the vet? College life is hectic even if you're an introverted hermit who only goes to classes. I know

You're going to need a local vet if you're going far away for college. And plan for any emergencies which is expensive. Can you turn to your parents for help if needed?

Do the windows in the dorm room have secure screens?

What if other students on the same floor complain about any constant meowing or cat smell that they find annoying? If you're asked to remove the cat from your dorm room, where will she go?

 

[fionasmom]

I think that all the big questions have been raised. It is completely commendable that you want to keep her with you, but some of those issues will have to be addressed.

I can only add that I used CBD oil for my dog in hopes that it would solve some of his issues and would substitute for his need for higher powered meds and it did nothing except increase his appetite. While I would never challenge anyone who felt that it worked for them or their pet, I do agree that there are just not enough studies so far.

 

[Kvla]

Some things to think about:

Is the roommate someone you know and trust and is 100% ok with the cat being in the room and all the cat stuff and smells (litter box, food, the occasional vomit, etc)? What about inappropriate peeing on the roommate's clothes, etc which can happen if a cat is super stressed out? If you or your roommate have visitors to your dorm room, how will you keep your cat safe? College students can be stupid and do things for "fun".

Dorms can be pretty noisy at time: blasting music, parties, etc. Is your cat ok with loud unexpected noises or will she freak out and hide and constantly be stressed? And there will be students who smoke pot and other stuff. Odors and smoke may seep into your room and that's not good for your cat's health or yours.

Can you afford a cat as a money strapped college student? Or have the time to spend with the cat? Will you take a part time job to pay for cat supplies and the vet? College life is hectic even if you're an introverted hermit who only goes to classes. I know

You're going to need a local vet if you're going far away for college. And plan for any emergencies which is expensive. Can you turn to your parents for help if needed?

Do the windows in the dorm room have secure screens?

What if other students on the same floor complain about any constant meowing or cat smell that they find annoying? If you're asked to remove the cat from your dorm room, where will she go?

Hi,

These are all great questions that my parents, myself, and my roommate have gone over for the most part. I met my roommate through a social media platform. I made it clear I had a cat and she came forward to me about wanting to room with a cat (Since she will miss her own). She is going into pre-vet, same as me and is well aware of all the costs of living with a cat come with.

Like I had said, my cat lives in my bedroom for now so I have mastered how to keep the smell down in my room, with the correct litter, scented doggy bags, cleaning the box twice a day and making sure I clean out the litterbox every week.

My family is hectic, so we constantly have little kids running around and I always have friends over that spend the night. She’s used to having visitors and tolerates them well. I’ve talked to my parents about the dangers of college students who like to do dumb things to cats and we have set some tactics in place such as always having the door locked. (My door will lock automatically).

I live in a brand new residence hall with A/C, a screen window, and far from dorms known as the “party dorms.” I specifically preferenced this hall knowing I would be bringing a cat that may be stressed from noise. I will have a job, meaning I’ll be gone 10-4 every Monday and Wednesday. I would be gone 10-6 Tuesday, Thursday and Friday. Weekends I will have off. This doesn’t count night outs doing things with friends though. However, I’ve already been practicing budgeting knowing that her needs come first. I have a savings account set up that I put money into every paycheck that go to needs like food, litter, toys, frontline, and centragard. I will stick with the vet that she has currently because I already pay for a monthly plan and it’s only 15 minutes away from where I will be living.

So, I have thoroughly thought this through. I have looked at all the best and worst scenarios. The one thing that I am worried about, is the question I had asked at the start of this thread. I would like her to be as relaxed as possible while I am gone during school/work. She seems to have some anxiety and I want to help her and I don’t want her to sneak out the door when it opens. This has to do with the fact that I hate seeing her upset, and the fact that I would like to not disturb the others living near me with meowing when I leave the room.

Thank you

 

[Jewely]

Hi!
I have had success with Rescue Remedy for pets. I rub a few drops on his ear leather. It relaxes him.
Have you tried Feliway? I use the spray, which has been very helpful in stressful situations. They have the plug in diffusers. These products are worth trying for both the transition of your new “home” as well as easing her stress while you’re away.
Your plan sounds well thought out!

 

[Kvla]

I haven’t tried feliway, but I was able to buy a diffuser today so I’ll see if that helps her calm down a bit.

Does anyone have a cat sitter come visit? I’d be nervous about a stranger but maybe a friend would be willing to come play and get some energy out. Has this helped anyone?

 

[LTS3]

Sounds like you have worked out a lot of the details and possible issues with everyone involved

 

[di and bob]

I think you are a good soul and have thought everything out very well. Your cat is much better off in a dorm room then back at the shelter. Cats will do what she is doing, usually for a while until they find out it gets them nowhere and you will return. She will learn your schedule quick enough and will anticipate you coming home. She sounds lonely. Maybe you can convince your roomate to get a kitten for her to play with. If not, cats do adjust. She is very insecure from being abandoned and in the shelter, so it will take a while for her to learn a new way ofd life. Cats are very much creatures of habit and routine so she will be upset and frightened about the mpove coming up too. I would definitely talk to your vet about obtaining something to calm her. I think you will do fine, thank you so much for giving her a home and trying so hard!

 

[Talien]

Having someone come visit her may help, but if she likes to try and run through the door when it opens it may do more harm than good if she gets out. If it's doable you may want to consider another Cat to keep her company while you are out, if there are any shelters or rescues near where you will be going to school you could see about fostering a Cat while you are there.