At What Point Do You Decide That An Introduction Is Impossible

[sargon]

I don't think we're at the point where we throw in the towel and return the new cat to the rescue organization and declare our cat an only cat, but I fear that it is a possible outcome, given the time and progress we've had so far.

We're 3 weeks in, and for the last week Freya has basically run to the door to growl and hiss every time the new cat dares to meow (or squeek really.) We have a little saucer by the door that we keep adding a couple of treats to, to try and build positive associations (no she wont eat her wet food there, we've tried), and have for a week and a half now. At times she'll calm enough to eat them before going back to glaring/hissing/growling at the door. She's still very scared and angry, and yells when I try and handle her most of the time, and is generally disinclined to play. She growled at me by a food bowl because I smelled too much of the other cat today(I assume that is why), as well.

The other cat is doing well, but clearly is tired of being confined to her safe room day in and day out, but I feel like letting the other cat explore the living room would upset Freya so much that she'd avoid it ( and she's only started to be comfortable there again), not to mention how freaked out she'd be being confined during that.

it's all Freya really, the new cat seems totally zen about Freya sitting outside her door growling and hissing.

I won't say that there's been no progress at all. Freya will go out in the living room and lay in her favorite places, and she seems mostly calm ( if very standoffish) in the bedroom. She'll also play in the hall for a few seconds some times.

So, yes I'm venting and know patience often is the watchword, but by the same token we're going on a month and she's still not reached what many introduction guides would call day 1, so I have to wonder if I shouldn't at least start consider the possibility that it isn't going to work.

 

[Furballsmom]

HI!

She's still very scared and angry, and yells when I try and handle her most of the time, and is generally disinclined to play. She growled at me by a food bowl because I smelled too much of the other cat today(I assume that is why), as well.

It's only been three weeks, but on the other hand, how committed are you to the new cat? This is quite a lot of stress for your resident cat.

We decided early on that because Poppy is so territorial --including with me, that we'd leave him as an only cat.

It's difficult to know for sure what the future would be between them, but your resident kitty isn't a happy cat now, that's a definite.

 

[Furballsmom]

Oh, by the way, if you haven't, try some music; classical harp music, or musicforcats . com could help.

 

[ArtNJ]

Well, that isn't encouraging, but its pretty normal for an introduction to not get 100% of the way there, and for one to have to let cats get together and see if they can work some of it out on their own. Also, if they are not actually inclined to fight, it sometimes seems like they can get growling and hissing out of their system. Like it takes energy to be so ticked off, and if there is no reinforcement from actual fighting, it kind of burns itself out a bit. So you would certainly never give up before giving the "see how they do with supervised access" thing a try. Given how its going, its certainly a good idea to give it more time, but introductions can be a real drain on everyone, and sometimes you can only stand what you can stand. I wouldn't remotely blame for you for proceeding to trial-by-doing at some point in the next few weeks.

Have you tried proceeding to letting them see each other but not interact? Some people stack two babygates in the doorway. Even though it doesn't seem to be going well, increasing the challenge factor may actually do something to help. Ideally, you'd include a stage like that -- where they can see each other but not interact -- before trial-by-doing.

 

[sargon]

So an update:

Things seem much better. Freya is much calmer, more relaxed, affectionate, and much less bothered by the new cat (she mostly only shows agitation when the new cat meows, and that ends when the meowing ends, or shortly after)

I was able to move Freya's wet food bowl by the door and she was eating from it with little issue (that wasn't possible before). There's a long way to go still, but there seems to be progress.

I attribute this change to the fact that the new cat has finally adapted to using the same type of litter as Freya(litter breeze). The new cat had used a very fragrant clumping litter that smelled utterly vile in my opinion. The change in behavior happened once we felt that the new cat was comfortable enough with the litter breeze system (having used it reliably enough for both liquid and solid waste) to remove her other litter box ( the one with the malodorous clumping litter.) I'm not sure if ti was the scent of the litter or just that it was clumping, so the urine smell was much different and stronger than the breeze system (maybe some of each), but with the litter change, things have really turned a corner.

it is a long way from a completed introduction, but we have an actual roadmap for getting there now that Freya will eat outside the door and play in the hall.

 

[betsygee]

Oh, that's great news! Introductions can be so stressful for everybody involved. I'm glad to hear things are getting better.

 

[Furballsmom]

Things seem much better. Freya is much calmer, more relaxed, affectionate, and much less bothered by the new cat

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