At my Wit's End with being attacked over feeding cats

Whenallhellbreakslose

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Hello, I am new to this forum. I chose this crazy user name because I am in between a rock and a hard place and the attacks are getting nastier and nastier each day-so it sums up things pretty well. I am a struggling unemployed cat feeder who scrapes by in feeding the outdoor cats and trying to nurse sick cats back to health. I was feeding 5 backyard kitties, this time last year. The problem started when one of the other cat feeders on my block moved and left her cats in the care of another cat feeder on the block who said she could take them on. I don't know exactly how many cats the other feeder has, it may be around 15 while the previous cat feeder had 6 cats. Well slowly over the late fall and into Winter these cats started coming to me one by one until I had a small cat colony hanging around my front stoop everyday. I got dirty looks from some of the neighbors and I heard their grumblings. I did try to shoo them away in hope that they go back to the other feeder. No such luck! They got attached to me, and truth be told I like them too. I found out that they were being bullied out of the other feeder's yard by the bigger cats she feeds. That explained a lot! However in the last month 3-5 more cats were coming to me, including the "bullies". I tried to shoo them away, but they were stubborn and I ended up feeding them. All the while my neighbors were getting more and more pissed off. There is another feeder on the block, but he is what I called a casual feeder. He has never feed full time and I don't think he knows what is involved in cat feeding, especially in the winter. He has given me cans of food at times. He means well, but he has the the idea that you throw a little food at the cats and they will be okay. He gives some of the cats food in the morning. I am thankful that he helps out that way.

I have two of my backyard cats get sick. I was running out getting them special food and supplements. These cats keep drifting away from me and then coming back to me for food. Maybe they found another feeder, but I am very concerned because they seem sick to me. I intended to take them in the garage, and nurse them back to health, but I have a major problem with the owner of the house I live in, she does not want me to feed any cats now and will not let me take them in to nurse them back to health. I get hell from her on a lot lately.
On top of that my neighbors are talking crap about me, one of them bragged about putting complaints in on me and that I should get sued for cat feeding. TG I live in a state that does not consider the cats you feed as your own, opening you up to legal action. My state is very decent when it comes to outdoor cats. Also, I keep everything clean, as not to cause health issues.

To try to make a long story short. I reached out to rescuers and organizations at the request of the feeder's husband who wants his yard back and said he would pay anything for this to happen. There are too many cats roaming our streets despite nearly all of them being tned( just one older male the other cat feeder feeds). Also we have had new people move on the block with young children. For that and other reasons, including cats lying in the streets(accident waiting to happen) I searched for help. Some rescuers offered me some help with food and medicine, while one person who runs a cat sanctuary offered to work with me and my neighbor to get some of the cats off the street. The other feeder was furious with me when she found out I was trying to get the cats off the streets. I told her it is for the best and that I was worried about these cats and their survival. Well now we are not on speaking terms and her husband is not standing by me doing what I was asked (begged) to do. Just threw me under the bus!!!😡

Now the cats remain on the streets and I have to prepare for winter while looking for my sick cats. They ate well in the last few days and then they disappeared again. One of them has matted fur that I want to shave down so badly and get him to feel better. I am agonizing over how I can help them and all the kitties. Everyone is crowding me with negativity and the old "Stop feeding the cats and they will go away." 😬 I need some moral support. I feel so alone in this situation. Thank you for reading this very long post. I appreciate any advise you can give. Please no negative replies--i get enough of that everyday.
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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One more thing I want to add, but didn't in my original post was that some neighbors have behaved badly towards the cats. Throwing things at them when they are hanging in front of my house. I caught one if them throwing Chinese Snaps at the cats. When I asked, if he has a problem with the cat, he just walked away and said nothing. The drama never ends.😕
 

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Hang in, Sweetie. @jacatbird has been trying to get online to help you, but is having phone connectivity issues. I sent you a PM. Jcatbird is very, very good at this kind of thing. Somehow, we'll get you in touch with her. She's aware of some of the problem, just as her phone connection to TCS went down, and called me to let you know you are being heard!
 

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Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right and I'm glad she reached out to her. Jcatbird Jcatbird is great at this - having faced a VERY large feral situation herself. I just saw this but will also be very happy to help too as I've dealt with this type situation also. I've unfortunately got a work deadline I'm dealing with this afternoon, but will happy to jump in and help/advise as needed! Know you're FAR from alone - - many of us have faced this exact same or similar issue - -- so hang in there - - we've got lots of people with great advice, alot of knowledge, experience and contacts, not to mention broad shoulders. We're here for you!!! I know you're at your wit's end - - - but Jcatbird Jcatbird (and likely others) will be there for you - - - you're at the right place! And I'll get back on soon as I possibly can today - - -I know sometimes it feels hopeless and impossible and like the world's against you when all you're trying to do is the humane thing. Don't give up!!!!! You've found an amazing community with amazing people! :grouphug:
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right and I'm glad she reached out to her. Jcatbird Jcatbird is great at this - having faced a VERY large feral situation herself. I just saw this but will also be very happy to help too as I've dealt with this type situation also. I've unfortunately got a work deadline I'm dealing with this afternoon, but will happy to jump in and help/advise as needed! Know you're FAR from alone - - many of us have faced this exact same or similar issue - -- so hang in there - - we've got lots of people with great advice, alot of knowledge, experience and contacts, not to mention broad shoulders. We're here for you!!! I know you're at your wit's end - - - but Jcatbird Jcatbird (and likely others) will be there for you - - - you're at the right place! And I'll get back on soon as I possibly can today - - -I know sometimes it feels hopeless and impossible and like the world's against you when all you're trying to do is the humane thing. Don't give up!!!!! You've found an amazing community with amazing people! :grouphug:
Thank you. The amount of hate directed at us cat caretakers can be mind-numbing at times. It saddens me that people don't understand that we truly care about our cats and are committed to their survival. Thank you once again.
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right and I'm glad she reached out to her. Jcatbird Jcatbird is great at this - having faced a VERY large feral situation herself. I just saw this but will also be very happy to help too as I've dealt with this type situation also. I've unfortunately got a work deadline I'm dealing with this afternoon, but will happy to jump in and help/advise as needed! Know you're FAR from alone - - many of us have faced this exact same or similar issue - -- so hang in there - - we've got lots of people with great advice, alot of knowledge, experience and contacts, not to mention broad shoulders. We're here for you!!! I know you're at your wit's end - - - but Jcatbird Jcatbird (and likely others) will be there for you - - - you're at the right place! And I'll get back on soon as I possibly can today - - -I know sometimes it feels hopeless and impossible and like the world's against you when all you're trying to do is the humane thing. Don't give up!!!!! You've found an amazing community with amazing people! :grouphug:
Thank you. I am glad I found this online community. Somedays I feel it is me against the world. I wish cat caretakers were more respected. It's appalling how much hatred is directed towards us, even when we are doing our best. SMH. 😔
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right and I'm glad she reached out to her. Jcatbird Jcatbird is great at this - having faced a VERY large feral situation herself. I just saw this but will also be very happy to help too as I've dealt with this type situation also. I've unfortunately got a work deadline I'm dealing with this afternoon, but will happy to jump in and help/advise as needed! Know you're FAR from alone - - many of us have faced this exact same or similar issue - -- so hang in there - - we've got lots of people with great advice, alot of knowledge, experience and contacts, not to mention broad shoulders. We're here for you!!! I know you're at your wit's end - - - but Jcatbird Jcatbird (and likely others) will be there for you - - - you're at the right place! And I'll get back on soon as I possibly can today - - -I know sometimes it feels hopeless and impossible and like the world's against you when all you're trying to do is the humane thing. Don't give up!!!!! You've found an amazing community with amazing people! :grouphug:
I just sent you a private message. Thank's for reaching out to me.
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Hang in, Sweetie. @jacatbird has been trying to get online to help you, but is having phone connectivity issues. I sent you a PM. Jcatbird is very, very good at this kind of thing. Somehow, we'll get you in touch with her. She's aware of some of the problem, just as her phone connection to TCS went down, and called me to let you know you are being heard!
Thank you for reaching out to me. I just sent you a private message. 🙂
 

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As I am reading this, the man who offered help is now withdrawing the help?

At least some have responded to you in your neighborhood/area. I have to say that some animal rescuers are a little off. I have witnessed this situation you describe about the feeder who does not want the cats taken to a sanctuary. Usually there are illogical reasons for this, unless I am missing something in your post. It would seem like that is at least one part of the situation.

Alley Cat Allies has a group known as Feral Friends Network® Connect Feral Friends Network. They can be hit and miss but work nationwide and might be able to give additional assistance or advice.
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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As I am reading this, the man who offered help is now withdrawing the help?

At least some have responded to you in your neighborhood/area. I have to say that some animal rescuers are a little off. I have witnessed this situation you describe about the feeder who does not want the cats taken to a sanctuary. Usually there are illogical reasons for this, unless I am missing something in your post. It would seem like that is at least one part of the situation.

Alley Cat Allies has a group known as Feral Friends Network® Connect Feral Friends Network. They can be hit and miss but work nationwide and might be able to give additional assistance or advice.
Thanks for your reply. I just got a message that I had a duplicate of this post deleted. I didn't know I had another post up. Oh well. In regards to your question the feeder's husband originally said he would pay whatever it takes. I have limited means, so I might of scraped together food, but that is all I could do really. So ofcourse it was a no go and I had to tell the animal sanctuary director that the other cat feeder was unhappy with the whole thing. The husband didn't stick to his guns, and his wife chewed me out of this situation.The sanctuary guy was going to disregard his fee and work with what we could afford. I thought that was very kind of him. Thanks for you for your reply. I will looking into the Feral Friends Network. 🙂
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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I sent you a reply, but it is not showing up here. I am new to the site and need to learn the ins and outs of this site . Thanks for your reply. It was the feeder's husband who threw me under bus by not being honest with his wife. I had to tell the sanctuary man that it no go because the other feeder was angry over the whole plan. The lady is in denial and won't acknowledge we have a overpopulation problem (post tnr) on our block. This puts the cat's survival in jeopardy. Thanks for your reply. Have a good one. 🙂
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Hello, I am new to this forum. I chose this crazy user name because I am in between a rock and a hard place and the attacks are getting nastier and nastier each day-so it sums up things pretty well. I am a struggling unemployed cat feeder who scrapes by in feeding the outdoor cats and trying to nurse sick cats back to health. I was feeding 5 backyard kitties, this time last year. The problem started when one of the other cat feeders on my block moved and left her cats in the care of another cat feeder on the block who said she could take them on. I don't know exactly how many cats the other feeder has, it may be around 15 while the previous cat feeder had 6 cats. Well slowly over the late fall and into Winter these cats started coming to me one by one until I had a small cat colony hanging around my front stoop everyday. I got dirty looks from some of the neighbors and I heard their grumblings. I did try to shoo them away in hope that they go back to the other feeder. No such luck! They got attached to me, and truth be told I like them too. I found out that they were being bullied out of the other feeder's yard by the bigger cats she feeds. That explained a lot! However in the last month 3-5 more cats were coming to me, including the "bullies". I tried to shoo them away, but they were stubborn and I ended up feeding them. All the while my neighbors were getting more and more pissed off. There is another feeder on the block, but he is what I called a casual feeder. He has never feed full time and I don't think he knows what is involved in cat feeding, especially in the winter. He has given me cans of food at times. He means well, but he has the the idea that you throw a little food at the cats and they will be okay. He gives some of the cats food in the morning. I am thankful that he helps out that way.

I have two of my backyard cats get sick. I was running out getting them special food and supplements. These cats keep drifting away from me and then coming back to me for food. Maybe they found another feeder, but I am very concerned because they seem sick to me. I intended to take them in the garage, and nurse them back to health, but I have a major problem with the owner of the house I live in, she does not want me to feed any cats now and will not let me take them in to nurse them back to health. I get hell from her on a lot lately.
On top of that my neighbors are talking crap about me, one of them bragged about putting complaints in on me and that I should get sued for cat feeding. TG I live in a state that does not consider the cats you feed as your own, opening you up to legal action. My state is very decent when it comes to outdoor cats. Also, I keep everything clean, as not to cause health issues.

To try to make a long story short. I reached out to rescuers and organizations at the request of the feeder's husband who wants his yard back and said he would pay anything for this to happen. There are too many cats roaming our streets despite nearly all of them being tned( just one older male the other cat feeder feeds). Also we have had new people move on the block with young children. For that and other reasons, including cats lying in the streets(accident waiting to happen) I searched for help. Some rescuers offered me some help with food and medicine, while one person who runs a cat sanctuary offered to work with me and my neighbor to get some of the cats off the street. The other feeder was furious with me when she found out I was trying to get the cats off the streets. I told her it is for the best and that I was worried about these cats and their survival. Well now we are not on speaking terms and her husband is not standing by me doing what I was asked (begged) to do. Just threw me under the bus!!!😡

Now the cats remain on the streets and I have to prepare for winter while looking for my sick cats. They ate well in the last few days and then they disappeared again. One of them has matted fur that I want to shave down so badly and get him to feel better. I am agonizing over how I can help them and all the kitties. Everyone is crowding me with negativity and the old "Stop feeding the cats and they will go away." 😬 I need some moral support. I feel so alone in this situation. Thank you for reading this very long post. I appreciate any advise you can give. Please no negative replies--i get enough of that everyday.
Update: The truth finally came out of the wash, not going into too much detail but that cat feeder was playing me all along. This came to a head after a nasty email sent to me which she was responding to nice letter that the owner of my house sent to her regarding the cats being dumped on me. I called her out on her bs, I have past emails from her proving that she is an absolute liar. She has been playing me for awhile and I believe she has some level of mental illness. After I wrote what was was my last communication with her (which clearly indicated)and put a spotlight on her lies, she sent me an email saying if I spoke to her again she will sick her lawyer on me.🙄 She is lucky I don't call the ASPCA for dumping these cats on me. I hate this negativity, but now I know what she is about. If anyone can offer me any guidance with helping these cats. I am especially worried about these poor cats in the winter. The winter shelters and the fact that I struggle to feed these cats is an issue. I hate this BS between me and the other feeder, and in the end it is the cats who will suffer. SMH😔
 

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Jcatbird Jcatbird is still unable to connect, but I'm keeping her apprised of the basics. She will be here when she can. She's done so much research, and knows where to go for information. We'll get there.

It does sound as if there may be some mental illness with the other feeder, almost an "outdoor hording" situation, if that makes sense. It is horrible that the cats have to suffer for it.

I keep telling people who complain about ferals that if humans had done right by their mothers, fathers, grand and great-grand parents, there would be no ferals. It is a human failing, and it is up to humans to find a kind, loving, and humane response.
 
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Jcatbird Jcatbird is still unable to connect, but I'm keeping her apprised of the basics. She will be here when she can. She's done so much research, and knows where to go for information. We'll get there.

It does sound as if there may be some mental illness with the other feeder, almost an "outdoor hording" situation, if that makes sense. It is horrible that the cats have to suffer for it.

I keep telling people who complain about ferals that if humans had done right by their mothers, fathers, grand and great-grand parents, there would be no ferals. It is a human failing, and it is up to humans to find a kind, loving, and humane response.
Thank you for your reply. I just sent you a PM. Your observation is spot on, except this one hoardes than dumps cats on others. Very frustrating.😧
 

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I agree that this might be something like outdoor hoarding as well and that mental illness is involved. Those who hoard animals don't see the issues with health and welfare at all. Are any of the rescuers you mentioned in your first post still in the picture...those who were helping with food and medicine. The sanctuary person needs money to come and get the cats?
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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I agree that this might be something like outdoor hoarding as well and that mental illness is involved. Those who hoard animals don't see the issues with health and welfare at all. Are any of the rescuers you mentioned in your first post still in the picture...those who were helping with food and medicine. The sanctuary person needs money to come and get the cats?
Yes, this is a horder who dumps on others. I sent the Sanctuary director an email last week telling him that the other cat feeder is not happy about me trying to move the cats. She keeps screaming at me in her emails that they are feral cats and should NOT be removed from the streets (really, I can pet 4 of them, and the others come close enough to me.) She said I need professional help and should stop feeding the cats. In reality, the cats come to me crying for food everyday. She may be relying on the other feeder, but he is casual feeder who doesn't realize how much cats need to eat each day, especially in the colder months.

I will be calling the rescue/tnr people who I previously spoke to very soon. I need to figure out where to go from here. I am very concerned for the welfare of these cats. This lady should seek professional help, as she does not have a grasp on reality.

Thanks for your reply. Have a good day.🙂
 
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Whenallhellbreakslose

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Mamanyt1953 Mamanyt1953 is right and I'm glad she reached out to her. Jcatbird Jcatbird is great at this - having faced a VERY large feral situation herself. I just saw this but will also be very happy to help too as I've dealt with this type situation also. I've unfortunately got a work deadline I'm dealing with this afternoon, but will happy to jump in and help/advise as needed! Know you're FAR from alone - - many of us have faced this exact same or similar issue - -- so hang in there - - we've got lots of people with great advice, alot of knowledge, experience and contacts, not to mention broad shoulders. We're here for you!!! I know you're at your wit's end - - - but Jcatbird Jcatbird (and likely others) will be there for you - - - you're at the right place! And I'll get back on soon as I possibly can today - - -I know sometimes it feels hopeless and impossible and like the world's against you when all you're trying to do is the humane thing. Don't give up!!!!! You've found an amazing community with amazing people! :grouphug:
Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I have an update to this post. The situation came to a head between and the other feeder when she sent me a nasty email and I gave it back to her and put a spotlight on her lies and told her I do not want to speak to her anymore. In the end she sent me a last email saying I am in need of professional help (major projection on her part). And the kicker, if I speak to her, she will sick her lawyer on me🙄
 
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Thank you for your kind words of encouragement. I have an update to this post. The situation came to a head between and the other feeder yesterday when she sent me a nasty email and I gave it back to her and put a spotlight on her lies and told her I do not want to speak to her anymore. In the end she sent me another email saying I am in need of professional help (major projection on her part). And the kicker, if I speak to her again, she will sick her lawyer on me.🙄 All this because I am worried about the welfare of the cats that come to me from HER backyard. The stuff that us cat caretaker's have to put up with. It is insane at times.
 

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Thank you for your reply. I just sent you a PM. Your observation is spot on, except this one hoardes than dumps cats on others. Very frustrating.😧
This is what most animal hoarders do.

We deal with them constantly where I work, and it’s hard on everyone involved, human, hoarder, rescuer, and animal alike.

They collect, collect, collect, and then become overwhelmed or are forced out by landlords/authorities/social pressure, so they abandon the house and animals (many hoarders hoard their animals outdoors).

But because the underlying disease is never addressed and our legal system has no clue how to handle animal hoarding, they simply move somewhere else and start again. Every 5 years, every 10 years, again and again throughout their lives.

Virtually all hoarders essentially dump their animals on others, whether it’s kind neighbors, or rescues (if we’re lucky enough to get there before they die, that is).
 
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