Artie: Two Months

nansiludie

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Yes, 3 months today... sigh...

I am celebration Artie's life, by lighting a candle, buying a bouquet of flowers for my kitchen table, having a vodka & tonic, and some cheese & crackers...

Artie loved cheese, and he loved to chomp on flowers... that is why I stopped buying them.

I have kept myself busy at the Rescue; this past Saturday afternoon, Sunday night, Tuesday night, and now I am taking another shift on Saturday morning.

I really miss kitty love.. Hopefully, in October, a kitty will 'find' me. I really miss the unconditional love... sigh...

I would start a 3 month thread, but I think I would be bawling/crying intensely... and not making much sense...

I really miss my guy... still have to guilts... having to keep reminding myself of how sick Artie really was... had to stop because I just filled up 2 tissues...

This morning, I found a very very very tiny clump of litter. I was taking some things out of his bathroom vanity, barefoot---getting ready for the renovations. Suddenly, my foot stepped on 'something'.. looked at it, and sure enough.. that is what it was...

Amazing, because I have swept, Swiffered, vacuumed, and washed that floor a couple times... now, today, it finds me... weird...

I miss him.. so much... I miss the cuddles, the talking, the love..

I just miss him...

This is how he was, every single night... on my lap... holding my hand.... for 6 years... from the day I brought him home.. he never left me alone....


View attachment 249306


I feel so alone, now.....

I think that little clump of litter was a sign from Artie, that his soul, essence, being, call it what you will, is still with you and it is not something even death can part you. I think it might be his way of saying, he's doing ok and he's around still. Such a sweet picture of you and Artie.
 

dustydiamond1

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Yes, 3 months today... sigh...

I am celebration Artie's life, by lighting a candle, buying a bouquet of flowers for my kitchen table, having a vodka & tonic, and some cheese & crackers...

Artie loved cheese, and he loved to chomp on flowers... that is why I stopped buying them.

I have kept myself busy at the Rescue; this past Saturday afternoon, Sunday night, Tuesday night, and now I am taking another shift on Saturday morning.

I really miss kitty love.. Hopefully, in October, a kitty will 'find' me. I really miss the unconditional love... sigh...

I would start a 3 month thread, but I think I would be bawling/crying intensely... and not making much sense...

I really miss my guy... still have to guilts... having to keep reminding myself of how sick Artie really was... had to stop because I just filled up 2 tissues...

This morning, I found a very very very tiny clump of litter. I was taking some things out of his bathroom vanity, barefoot---getting ready for the renovations. Suddenly, my foot stepped on 'something'.. looked at it, and sure enough.. that is what it was...

Amazing, because I have swept, Swiffered, vacuumed, and washed that floor a couple times... now, today, it finds me... weird...

I miss him.. so much... I miss the cuddles, the talking, the love..

I just miss him...

This is how he was, every single night... on my lap... holding my hand.... for 6 years... from the day I brought him home.. he never left me alone....


View attachment 249306


I feel so alone, now.....
:grouphug::grouphug2::bawling::grouphug::grouphug2::hearthrob::rbheart::lovecat2::angel::redheartpump::hugs::bouquet::heartshape::hangin:
 

LisaT.

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:bouquet:Hi Cindy!
Just want to gently remind you that Artie is always with you. It seems like he leaves you signs just when you need them the most.
Also want to remind you that you're really not alone. There are so many people on this site who have come to know you and Artie, who love and care about you very much. You can start a new thread! I promise you, we all understand about not making sense sometimes. :heartshape:
 

angels mommy

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Awww, Sweet Artie. What a sweet picture. I have a similar one of Angels paw in my hand. It's nice that you treated yourself to some flowers. I too bought them for Angel's memorial, & placed them by his urn. I will still cut some flowers from the garden & put a little vase by his picture.
You are not alone. Artie is still with you...just in spirit. :angel::winkcat:
......And, of course you have all of us here. :hugs: I'm also sure that many are shedding tears right along with you, as we read your post. I know I did!
Wish we were all there to give you hugs in person!! :grouphug::vibes::vibes::vibes::vibes:
 

katlady-18

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artiemom artiemom I'm so sorry, it seems my email notifications stopped again and I didn't know there had been new replies. :hmmm: Anyway, you have no idea of how often I read about other people (as I previously mentioned, I'm part of a pet grief support group on FB) who have similar things happen to them in regards to finding little clumps of hair, a toy that had been put away and suddenly appears around the house, things of that nature; have no doubt that these are signs he's sending you letting you know that he's still around in some ways.:angelcat: I haven't experienced anything like that, but have received signs in other ways (through dreams, feeling a little furry nudge against my leg). They make me miss my Pumpkin even more (especially the dreams where he's right by my side again), but at the same time I'm grateful for his visits. I hope in time these little gestures from him bring you some comfort.:catrub:
 
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artiemom

Artie, my Angel; a part of my heart
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I am missing Artie so, so. so, much...

Had a few meltdowns today... tonight... and the past couple weeks....
sigh..

I really do feel as though I 'killed' him...

and feeling so lonely, unloved and unappreciated....
 

katlady-18

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. No, you did not kill him, you ended his pain when there was nothing more to do. You tried, you tried so hard and for so long, but the time came to let him go. Please believe that and don't blame yourself. I have a picture frame for my furbaby that says, "If love could've saved you, you would've lived forever." How true that is for all of us who have lost someone we loved so much.
 

neely

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Had a few meltdowns today... tonight... and the past couple weeks....
sigh.
I think your feelings are perfectly normal and everyone grieves in their own way, don't let anyone tell you otherwise. I can understand your loneliness too. If it helps to write down your thoughts and share them with us we are all here to listen. :grouphug: We have had similar experiences and, like you, felt lonely at one point or another.

Hold on to those precious moments with your regal ginger boy, Artie. For it is those feelings that make you human and will leave loving memories in your heart. :hugs:
 

angels mommy

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I'm so sorry you're going through this. No, you did not kill him, you ended his pain when there was nothing more to do. You tried, you tried so hard and for so long, but the time came to let him go. Please believe that and don't blame yourself. I have a picture frame for my furbaby that says, "If love could've saved you, you would've lived forever." How true that is for all of us who have lost someone we loved so much.
:yeah: I totally agree. That's what it says on Angels urn.
You went above & beyond for far longer than some people would have. You have nothing to feel guilty for. You did everything in your power & love that you could.
We know this, & most important Artie knows this. It's never easy regardless, I know, but know that you are loved & supported here.
Sending you BIG,BIG HUGS!!!! :hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs::hugs:
 
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