Anxious Cat Mom, Introducing 2 Cats - Please Help

[mill1000]

Hi everyone, I feel I am at a loss and unsure how to proceed - the anxiety and stress of this all has left me with mouth sores. I absolutely LOVE my furbabies and just want them to be happy.

We recently adopted a one year year-old female (spayed) Torbie about 16 days ago - she is super sweet and cuddly. Our resident cat (5 year old neutered tuxedo male) is also very sweet and cuddly. We did the Jackson Galaxy method of introductions for about a week - we started with closed door feedings for 2 days, then gate feedings, several daily site swappings, then supervised play without gate, and eventually let her out of her basecamp because she was desperately trying to escape (scratching the carpet below, scratching the door, meowing). They were doing so well and we had no issues, other than some hissing and swatting from the new cat initially. They were totally fine eating by each other, smelling each other (lots of butt smells), and even the new cat would rub her head on his. My resident cat was especially excited and sweet with her in the beginning. They have both even slept next to each other on my husband and I’s laps while we watched tv, and will set next to each other while bird hunting. We were separating them while we were out of the house and at night, but have since let the newbie out at night for the past 2 days.

However... my resident cat loves chasing our new one. It was really bad in the beginning - She couldn't leave the room without him running after her. She usually turns around and either hisses, meows, or lifts her paw like she’s going to hit him. She gives him a few warnings before loudly hissing/growling, or just hitting him. He’s not understanding her boundaries and I’m not sure what to do. He's been chasing her less and less as she has been out of her basecamp, but I’m so anxious about them not getting along and I don’t want the chasing to ruin the friendship they have already built. We’ve tried distracting the resident cat, playing with them both at the same time to let out energy, bought a ton of new toys but the chasing is still happening. We reward positive interactions with treats constantly (as evidence by my resident cat putting on a few lbs haha). My resident cat also likes jumping out and scaring her - which she does not appreciate.

This morning was my breaking point though - the new cat is very protective over her food. She came from a cat colony where all of the cats roamed freely and I am not sure how they fed them. She was super skinny when we got her, and has now put on some weight but is still food obsessed. This morning, my resident cat was walking up to her slowly to sniff her food bowl (no food in it) and she ran and smacked him. They did the stare down, which I have witnessed them do before when the resident cat is chasing the new one and she turns around and hits him - he will do the halloween cat and I am usually able to distract before it escalates. This morning though, my resident cat jumped on her with lots of hissing/growling from the new cat - I loudly clapped to break it up and separated them.

Do I got back a couple steps to the introduction phases? Or do I continue on the track I am doing (lots of eat, play love) and hope it gets better in time and that my resident cat gets used to her presence? I have the feliway diffusers plugged in for about a week now, and have watched every Jackson Galaxy and Tik Tok video imaginable. But l I’d appreciate any other advice you all may have - or solutions that worked for you! Thank you so much!

 

[rubysmama]

Hello and welcome to TCS. Sorry though for the reason that's brought you here. Sixteen days, however, is really not a terribly long time in a cat's mind, especially when doing introductions. And cat introductions are rarely quick or straight forward. TCS even has an article called How To Fix An Unsuccessful Cat Introduction - TheCatSite

The main things we always say to watch for are fights that result in fur flying or bloodshed, stress, or one cat being noticeably scared of the other.

In your case, I think, yes, maybe you should take a couple steps backward, just to give them time to cool off. You don't want either of them to get stressed and start having issues like litter box accidents, not eating, etc.

Stress in Cats - The Ultimate Guide - TheCatSite

BTW, since you mentioned your own stress and anxiety, I just wanted to mention that cats can pick up on their human's emotions, so if you can, try to not stress over it so much.

 

[Kris107]

I think either way would be okay. They have to have some time to set boundaries with each other, but you are also setting some house rules too. By clapping and breaking things up when they go too far or by yelling at or removing a cat who is taking things too far... it all gets filed away as rules. Do cats always follow rules, NO, but they can learn consequences and whether it's okay or not. Try not to stress... Everyone, including you, have gone through a lot of changes. From an outside perspective - the fact that they can rest near each other and such - that's great. So keep at it! Introductions aren't always easy and sometimes they just take time and consistency.

 

[mrsgreenjeens]

I agree that 16 days is nothing! When we introduced TWO 4 month old kittens to our senior resident cats, it took 5 long months until I finally gave up and let the kittens completely out of their safe room. Up until that time, our resident female was still growling at their door most days. She never relaxed at all when they were out under supervision. We followed the integration steps to a T, and she simply would not give in. But once we let them out (because by then they were old enough to protect themselves against her tiny little self), all was peaceful. Anyway, I digress. It sounds like things are actually going pretty well with your two. Even bonded cats will occasionally get into fights where the fur will fly. My two kittens mentioned above are now 15 years old, and every once in awhile, maybe once or twice a year, they will get into it. It usually happens when one is grooming the other and perhaps he gets over stimulated. I have no idea, but fur starts flying, lots of growling, and I usually have to throw a blanket over them to get them to stop, then it's time out.

Since you ARE so early in the process, but they are seemingly getting along for the most part, I would just take it slow, and maybe pick up their dishes after meals to prevent what happened this morning. (the need to be washed after each meal anyway). I would keep them separated if no one is home, however, just in case. You don't need to do that forever, but maybe for a little while longer. I remember with mine, every time we came back home, one of the kittens would be yelling his head off to be let out

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Actually, New Cat swatting Resident Cat may be a good thing, insofar as his chasing her goes. Boundaries must be set, and she has told him, "This far, but NO FARTHER!" It's good that she stood up to him. It indicates that, while he may annoy her to no end, she is not actively afraid of him, and WILL assert herself. I know how upsetting this may look, but it was almost certainly more of a heated discussion, and one that might have been overdue.

 

[SueLinda]

Hi
I adopted a tiny tuxie kitten two months ago and have been introducing him to my 7 year old black cat. It's been slow but steady progress. What makes it easier is I constantly talk to my older cat calmly and reassuringly as my kitten jumps on him and tries out his latest karate moves lol. I pet my older cat if they separate for a few seconds. My vet told me to really watch out for the older cat's stress level and use that as a guide---that has helped so much.
Now that my kitten knows that my older cat is "lord and master", he is calming down around my older cat when they have their "meetings". When things get too hissy, I separate them into two different rooms. Hang in there.

 

[mill1000]

Thank you all so much for your replies and help! We haven't had any more issues of food aggression since moving the location of my new cat's food bowl. I've caught my 2 kitties grooming each other, rubbing their heads on each other, still smelling butts, nose booping, and sleeping near each other. My male cat though is still chasing our new cat, she will run up stairs and under our office desk or couch. He will kind of block her in for a minute and then get bored and leave the room. After he leaves, she comes running out trying to find him. Sometimes she plays back with no hissing, other times her ears are flat on her head and she's hissing/swatting at him to stop. He gets more upset too and starts doing his "Halloween" cat, or making himself tall. I have never heard him hiss, growl, or anything like that. I'm not sure if I should let them continue to learn each other's boundaries, or break up the "fights" and separate them. There's no fur flying, blood, or loud yowls - 5 mins after they go back to as if nothing happened.

 

[Kris107]

There's no fur flying, blood, or loud yowls - 5 mins after they go back to as if nothing happened.

I think they're doing fine. Just be around to help with boundaries if someone is getting too rough or relentless. But this all sounds pretty good.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

Those incidents, where ears are back, are what I call "heated discussions," and they can happen even when cats are well-bonded. Don't cut them off too soon. I have often advised, "Sometimes a cat's gotta say what a cat's gotta say." CAN they escalate? Of course. But most often, it's just tough talk. Be ready to step in with a LARGE pillow or piece of cardboard IF the claws come out.