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- Jul 17, 2022
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I've seen a few posts here related to anxiety related to new cat, and I'm here to share mine hoping to get some help. tldr: I'm not sure if I should keep this kitty, I love him but I'm being negatively affected by my own thoughts I think I'm overly anxious about **potential** difficulties and behavioural problems I'm going to face and I'm not sure what to do.
So I got a new cat about 10 days ago. He's about 3 months old. I now understand that it's better to have 2 kittens, but unfortunately I am unable to get a second due to various reasons. I've been contemplating about getting a cat for a while before getting one and at one point I convinced myself that I am stable enough to get one - I was ready to cover his medical bills (partially through insurance), other related costs, and I can dedicate an hour playing with him everyday. I thought about many things before his arrival - what if I travel in the future, what if I move in the future, and how I can cover his medical bills if he gets sick etc. In hindsight I do regret not thinking about some other things through which I will explain further in this post, but I feel like the reality only hit me hard after I got him.
So before his arrival I got him plenty of toys. Space is limited but I tried hard to adapt. I got him an insurance to make sure I can cover his medical bill if I need to spend thousands of dollars on a surgery. I thought I was pretty well prepared before his arrival. Then he arrived and he hid and cried for 2 days straight under the couch. He did eat and use his litterbox during that period so I wasn't too too worried about his health, but it was super stressful for me. Because of how loudly he cried I couldn't sleep at all for the first 2 days. I was super scared that he would never become social with humans, so on the third day I decided to put him in a playpen and I sat on the floor with him for 3 days straight feeding him meals and treats and playing with him for at least 1.5 hour a day hoping for him to get used to me. I thought maybe he didn't have enough interactions with people in his past so I played TV shows and audio books for him. I sometimes slept beside him on the floor. I didn't get any of my work done and I was crying everyday during that time.
Eventually he came out of his shell. Now he's still a little scared when I suddenly moves, but I would say overall he's quite nice and affectionate. We now play for about an hour a day in total, but sadly I don't feel all that better.
I know the following part will make me sound like a horrible person, and I feel like I do deserve being judged - I should have thought this through before getting him... And I feel terrible. While I don't cry everyday anymore I wake up thinking about him and I feel an immense amount of pressure on me. I've always been the super worrying type, and I feel like the fact that he behaved in a way that I was not expecting for the first few days really really added onto that stress. I heard cats that are raised as single kittens often develop behavioural issues, and I'm extremely scared of it. Overall he doesn't have a lot of problems right now but the thought of him potentially having in the future scares me. I never thought about behavioural issues before because none of the other cats that I took care of (all adult cats) had behavioural issues. However, I'm now super worried that he will develop them. I wrapped most of the cords that he has easy access to with cord protectors and sprayed bitter apple on all of them that I don't want to wrap (because they do get quite bulky). I used those double sided tape on my couch and got him 2 scratching posts. He has plenty of toys to play with and I play with him for about an hour a day. However, I'm just SO SO scared that he would develop behavioural issues. He sometimes bites my blinds and I get extremely anxious. While he is using the litterbox properly now, I'm super worried that one day I would wake up and finding that he did his business outside of his litterbox. In addition, I'm worried that once he gets old he's gonna rake havoc on my countertop (he cannot jump onto it yet) and my desk with my important stuff. I'm worried that he's going to get sick to a point that he needs round-the-clock care and while finance isn't an issue (due to the insurance) I certainly do not have the ability to care for him 24/7. I don't allow him into my bedroom because I have a bunch of crafting stuff in there and I want a good night sleep but every time I sit in my bedroom I feel uneasy and it's hard to describe why but I feel like shutting the door to him feels wrong, even though he has plenty of toys, food and water. I've not been cooking because I'm scared that he'd be stealing the food. Doing anything now feels super hard because I either feel like he's going to do something problematic or it's going to scare him. I don't know what the chances of these issues developing are but my sad irrational mind seem to feel like the chances of these things occurring is 100%. Similar things happen when I'm using the bathroom, since I don't really want him to go in there. Since I got him I got no work done because I've been focusing all of my energy trying to socialize with him and that is not sustainable for me in the long run.
I know, maybe I shouldn't have gotten a cat in the first place, but I really really thought that I was ready for him. I've been debating if I should rehome him. If I do he has a safe place to go and I know he will be loved. However, I'm really starting to bond with this little guy and I just don't know what to do. On one hand I really do love him and knowing how sad he was for the first two days I don't really want to make him go through that again, but on the other hand I constantly worry about potential problems and my thoughts have been affecting my life so much that I don't know if I can do it anymore. Just to be clear, he is not the problem, I am. I wonder what are the chances that they do have behavioural issues growing up as single kittens and I appreciate any suggestions you have for me.
So I got a new cat about 10 days ago. He's about 3 months old. I now understand that it's better to have 2 kittens, but unfortunately I am unable to get a second due to various reasons. I've been contemplating about getting a cat for a while before getting one and at one point I convinced myself that I am stable enough to get one - I was ready to cover his medical bills (partially through insurance), other related costs, and I can dedicate an hour playing with him everyday. I thought about many things before his arrival - what if I travel in the future, what if I move in the future, and how I can cover his medical bills if he gets sick etc. In hindsight I do regret not thinking about some other things through which I will explain further in this post, but I feel like the reality only hit me hard after I got him.
So before his arrival I got him plenty of toys. Space is limited but I tried hard to adapt. I got him an insurance to make sure I can cover his medical bill if I need to spend thousands of dollars on a surgery. I thought I was pretty well prepared before his arrival. Then he arrived and he hid and cried for 2 days straight under the couch. He did eat and use his litterbox during that period so I wasn't too too worried about his health, but it was super stressful for me. Because of how loudly he cried I couldn't sleep at all for the first 2 days. I was super scared that he would never become social with humans, so on the third day I decided to put him in a playpen and I sat on the floor with him for 3 days straight feeding him meals and treats and playing with him for at least 1.5 hour a day hoping for him to get used to me. I thought maybe he didn't have enough interactions with people in his past so I played TV shows and audio books for him. I sometimes slept beside him on the floor. I didn't get any of my work done and I was crying everyday during that time.
Eventually he came out of his shell. Now he's still a little scared when I suddenly moves, but I would say overall he's quite nice and affectionate. We now play for about an hour a day in total, but sadly I don't feel all that better.
I know the following part will make me sound like a horrible person, and I feel like I do deserve being judged - I should have thought this through before getting him... And I feel terrible. While I don't cry everyday anymore I wake up thinking about him and I feel an immense amount of pressure on me. I've always been the super worrying type, and I feel like the fact that he behaved in a way that I was not expecting for the first few days really really added onto that stress. I heard cats that are raised as single kittens often develop behavioural issues, and I'm extremely scared of it. Overall he doesn't have a lot of problems right now but the thought of him potentially having in the future scares me. I never thought about behavioural issues before because none of the other cats that I took care of (all adult cats) had behavioural issues. However, I'm now super worried that he will develop them. I wrapped most of the cords that he has easy access to with cord protectors and sprayed bitter apple on all of them that I don't want to wrap (because they do get quite bulky). I used those double sided tape on my couch and got him 2 scratching posts. He has plenty of toys to play with and I play with him for about an hour a day. However, I'm just SO SO scared that he would develop behavioural issues. He sometimes bites my blinds and I get extremely anxious. While he is using the litterbox properly now, I'm super worried that one day I would wake up and finding that he did his business outside of his litterbox. In addition, I'm worried that once he gets old he's gonna rake havoc on my countertop (he cannot jump onto it yet) and my desk with my important stuff. I'm worried that he's going to get sick to a point that he needs round-the-clock care and while finance isn't an issue (due to the insurance) I certainly do not have the ability to care for him 24/7. I don't allow him into my bedroom because I have a bunch of crafting stuff in there and I want a good night sleep but every time I sit in my bedroom I feel uneasy and it's hard to describe why but I feel like shutting the door to him feels wrong, even though he has plenty of toys, food and water. I've not been cooking because I'm scared that he'd be stealing the food. Doing anything now feels super hard because I either feel like he's going to do something problematic or it's going to scare him. I don't know what the chances of these issues developing are but my sad irrational mind seem to feel like the chances of these things occurring is 100%. Similar things happen when I'm using the bathroom, since I don't really want him to go in there. Since I got him I got no work done because I've been focusing all of my energy trying to socialize with him and that is not sustainable for me in the long run.
I know, maybe I shouldn't have gotten a cat in the first place, but I really really thought that I was ready for him. I've been debating if I should rehome him. If I do he has a safe place to go and I know he will be loved. However, I'm really starting to bond with this little guy and I just don't know what to do. On one hand I really do love him and knowing how sad he was for the first two days I don't really want to make him go through that again, but on the other hand I constantly worry about potential problems and my thoughts have been affecting my life so much that I don't know if I can do it anymore. Just to be clear, he is not the problem, I am. I wonder what are the chances that they do have behavioural issues growing up as single kittens and I appreciate any suggestions you have for me.