Anxiety over new cat

[Htj8]

I am currently fostering to adopt a cat. I’ve have been wanting a cat for some time now, and since the Coronavirus has cause us to shelter in place, I thought it would be a good time to get a cat since we will have the time to be with him for a while. He’s 2 years old and a good cat. We have had him for 5 days now and I’m having a lot of anxiety over him. I have had an anxiety attack and a break down every day since having him. I also don’t entirely feel excited now to have him in our apartment. He doesn’t have a lot of issues but at the moment the only thing that bothers me is that he’s pretty chatty when he is needy, he’s more active than I thought, and that he can be a bit mischievous.
I after reading a few forums and threads regarding anxiety of new cats, I know that it can be normal and will probably calm down after a few weeks. However, is it normal for me to almost resent his presence in my apartment? I don’t want to give up on him, but the anxiety, break downs, and resentment is making me second guess everything.

 

[Hannah518]

Cats need time to adjust. Most don’t do well with change. I too am fostering to adopt a cat in addition to my current resident cat that’s 13. The new cat Kima, She is 10 months, very chatty and needy, but it’s normal.
Also with change can come anxiety and health problems in your cat, especially if it came from a shelter. Pay attention to liter box, food, and drinking habits. Shelter cats sometimes have fleas, mites, parasites, or upper respiratory issues because of being around so many cats. My girl came home with at least 3. So after she started symptoms she was expressing some discomfort rather than attention. Did you cat have a clean bill of health from the shelter vet or yours?
Also, owning an animal takes patience. They are scared and having just as just anxiety so they may feed off your emotions. Try and stay calm and patient.
Good luck, and congrats on the foster! I hope it works out. Cats are truly amazing creatures to have in your family.

 

[Htj8]

Cats need time to adjust. Most don’t do well with change. I too am fostering to adopt a cat in addition to my current resident cat that’s 13. The new cat Kima, She is 10 months, very chatty and needy, but it’s normal.
Also with change can come anxiety and health problems in your cat, especially if it came from a shelter. Pay attention to liter box, food, and drinking habits. Shelter cats sometimes have fleas, mites, parasites, or upper respiratory issues because of being around so many cats. My girl came home with at least 3. So after she started symptoms she was expressing some discomfort rather than attention. Did you cat have a clean bill of health from the shelter vet or yours?
Also, owning an animal takes patience. They are scared and having just as just anxiety so they may feed off your emotions. Try and stay calm and patient.
Good luck, and congrats on the foster! I hope it works out. Cats are truly amazing creatures to have in your family.

Unfortunately, I am the one that’s having the anxiety, breakdowns, and resentment. The cat is doing perfectly fine. He’s a pretty outgoing cat and only took a day to get used to our apartment. He originally came from a foster, so I don’t think he as any issues that we can see. We were waiting to bring him to a vet once we officially adopt him.

 

[Xraystyle]

I am currently fostering to adopt a cat. I’ve have been wanting a cat for some time now, and since the Coronavirus has cause us to shelter in place, I thought it would be a good time to get a cat since we will have the time to be with him for a while. He’s 2 years old and a good cat. We have had him for 5 days now and I’m having a lot of anxiety over him. I have had an anxiety attack and a break down every day since having him. I also don’t entirely feel excited now to have him in our apartment. He doesn’t have a lot of issues but at the moment the only thing that bothers me is that he’s pretty chatty when he is needy, he’s more active than I thought, and that he can be a bit mischievous.
I after reading a few forums and threads regarding anxiety of new cats, I know that it can be normal and will probably calm down after a few weeks. However, is it normal for me to almost resent his presence in my apartment? I don’t want to give up on him, but the anxiety, break downs, and resentment is making me second guess everything.

I can't really offer any advice, just to let you know that you're not alone and/or you're not weird for feeling that way.

I've had my guy for 2 months now and we had a pretty bad night and morning today. There are things around that have been here the entire time he has, and he is just now getting into them and trying to destroy them. The weirdest thing being anything attached to the walls (stickers, posters). He pulls them off and chews on them and it is driving me berserk. I'm a chill person but this cat has no. chill.

I live in a studio, so it's just me and him and there are no doors to separate us. I'm gone for long periods during the week, which I'm sure contributes to his attitude problems (even though he only gets into things when I'm there), but sometimes I don't want to go home at all. I could barely get the dishes washed before he wrecked a poster that he could reach. He wants to be played with all. the. time. We actively play for total maybe 1.5 hours a day. The only time he isn't active and mischievous is when he is asleep. He is supposedly about 1.5 years old now, so I still hold out hope that he will mature more and calm down. I want to get a Feliway diffuser, but would be afraid of the fire hazard I've heard they pose. I run a lavender diffuser for my own well-being -__- (which he doesn't seem to care at all about).

One thing that has brought stuff into perspective has been talking to my mom. I told her I didn't remember any of our cats acting this way and she reminded me that was because she was the one getting up early and she was the one feeding them, so she was the one they showed all of their annoying behaviors to. Meanwhile, I just had to blissfully keep my door closed when I wanted to sleep.

Now I don't have that luxury, but I do have earplugs which helped with the anxiety. I know at least there's nothing he can get into that will hurt him (aside from power cords, which I turn off when I leave), so not being able to hear him rooting around has at least calmed my anxiety. I can deal with the aftermath, cuz it already happened. I hate dealing with knowing it's happening and not being able to stop it, if that makes sense.

sorry, I wrote a long post which might not be relevant to you at all, but just wanted to share my experience so far!

 

[cat nap]

He’s 2 years old and a good cat. We have had him for 5 days now and I’m having a lot of anxiety over him. I have had an anxiety attack and a break down every day since having him. I also don’t entirely feel excited now to have him in our apartment. He doesn’t have a lot of issues but at the moment the only thing that bothers me is that he’s pretty chatty when he is needy, he’s more active than I thought, and that he can be a bit mischievous.
I after reading a few forums and threads regarding anxiety of new cats, I know that it can be normal and will probably calm down after a few weeks. However, is it normal for me to almost resent his presence in my apartment? I don’t want to give up on him, but the anxiety, break downs, and resentment is making me second guess everything.

Unfortunately, I am the one that’s having the anxiety, breakdowns, and resentment. The cat is doing perfectly fine. He’s a pretty outgoing cat and only took a day to get used to our apartment. He originally came from a foster, so I don’t think he as any issues that we can see. We were waiting to bring him to a vet once we officially adopt him.

Hi H Htj8 ...like you mentioned, ...it is entirely normal to experience anxiety when a new cat comes into our homes.

1. Can you remember the reasons why you wanted to adopt a new cat in the first place?
2. Sometimes, writing down all the 'pros and cons' of a situation,...helps to contain the anxiety on paper,...so that it does not run freely in our own heads, and overwhelms how we feel.
3. Do you think it's your new cat that is causing all this anxiety, ...or is it also the 'shelter in place', fears over Covid 19, and all the new and different things we have to do, to contain the virus?

4. Are there things that you normally do when your anxiety gets too high?
Like deep breathing, meditation, mindfulness, exercise,...watching comedies, puzzles, music, cleaning or organizing...or anything that works for you. Medication and talking to someone also helps.

There is nothing wrong with talking to the 'foster person' and expressing your fears.
Also nothing wrong, if you have to return your cat to the foster place.

Resentment is a difficult way of thinking, because it paints all the good parts of having a cat.
That's why I think that writing the 'pros and cons' down on a list, will help you decide what parts you resent, ...and if they are manageable.

 

[Hannah518]

I agree with the above. You fostered to adopt because you need a trial run to see if it’s a good fit. It’s perfectly normal and common. My first cat was chill and would have bursts of energy at night as a kitty, he was extremely smart and figured out how to get everywhere. He drove me nuts but we made it through. He was my best pal up until this January when he passed of cancer. But he became the chillest lil man. There is hope.

 

[Htj8]

Hi Everyone,
I thought I’d let you know, I have decided to give the cat back to the rescue. My anxiety and breakdowns were too much. I also, unfortunately, do not think he was the best fit for us. After speaking to my significant other, we decided it was not the best time to have him. I think I will need to speak to someone before I even think about getting another pet (I won’t get one for a while :/) . Thank you all for listening to me and giving me advice.