Am I making the right decision to put my cat down?

[Meg142!]

I wasn't sure which section to post this in, and I know that ultimately this is a decision only I can make, but it is such a hard one. I adopted my kitty a year ago, she is now 4, and she was diagnosed a month ago with PKD. At first she had a lot of good days with some bad days thrown in, but she would always perk back up. In the past week however, things have really gone down hill. She's barely eating, she's stopped pooping, she doesn't want to be pet and keeps to herself. This is exactly what she was doing when she was first diagnosed. I've done phosphate binders, potassium supplements, special food, syringe feeding, and everything else that I could find good scientific research to back. She's just not getting better. I knew from the beginning any treatment would just be making what life she has left more comfortable, and right now, her quality of life seems low. She has eaten maybe 3 tablespoons of food in the past 3 days and is so ridiculously skinny. Her back legs also seem to be in a lot of pain. Normally she will sleep on my bed but now she has trouble jumping up.

I just asked my vet about an appetite stimulent and he said he'd like to look at her blood work first. If it looks relatively okay and hasn't changed much since her last appointment, then he thinks it might be a viable option. However if her blood work doesn't come back good, then it's time to say goodbye. Unfortunately, I will have to make that decision by the end of this week because I was supposed to be leaving for a week long trip. I want to be there when she's put down, but I don't think waiting another week for me to get back is fair to her.

I just want to know that I have tried everything and that I'm not giving up on her by making the decision to put her down.

Also, how does one prepare themselves for this? She is my first pet so I'm a complete mess right now.

 

[jefferd18]

I am so sorry, it is not an easy decision ever, whether it be your first pet or your tenth. The fact that she is so young makes any fatal illness even more unfair. I would say to wait for the blood work from your doctor, if for no other reason, than to know that your next decision is the right decision.

You prepare by telling yourself the same things that you have told us: You have done everything for her that the medical world has to offer, you have made her comfortable, you do love her, and you don't want to see her suffer. But even with that truth, I don't think there is ever a way to be prepared for the loss of a friend.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

I can tell you one thing. Well...two things. You will do the best thing for your cat, and you will second-guess yourself afterwards, no matter what you do. This is one of the hardest things we ever do. It sounds as if she has little joy in life right now, and if that can't be improved, you are ready to release her to start her Next Great Adventure...an ending for you, but a new beginning for her.

How do you prepare? By reminding yourself over and over that you MUST do what is in her best interest. By reminding yourself over and over how restricted her life has become. By reminding yourself over and over that you are doing the right thing. But...no matter how "prepared" you may be, you will not be ready. We never are. Even when we know we must, we are not ready. We do it anyway, and we grieve after.

When that time comes, we are here.

 

[Talien]

If you are unable to put off or cancel your trip, and if you're going to have her euthanized by the end of the week anyway because of that, then it doesn't really make any sense to do anything else. Just spend what time you can with her until the results of the blood test are in and see what it says.

 

[The Goodbye Bird]

I just want to know that I have tried everything and that I'm not giving up on her by making the decision to put her down.

You have done vastly more than most would. It's not uncommon to put an animal down the moment it's diagnosed with a terminal illness or barring that, when it first starts getting worse. I won't call even that wrong because that's how Nature does it.

Also, how does one prepare themselves for this?

Prepare by not preparing. Enjoy the time you have. We all have a falling boulder some distance above our heads called death that will eventually hit. My best advice is don't look at it because it ain't gonna hit any softer just because you stare at it.

 

[Meg142!]

I think the hardest part about this is that every once in a while, she will come and rub up on my leg or lick my cheek and I automatically think "oh, maybe she feels better today!" And I get my hopes up. I think I am just searching for every little thing that gives me an excuse to keep her here a little while longer. My brain knows this but my heart just refuses to accept it. I think I was hoping that she would just die peacefully in her sleep, curled up on her favorite blanket, but after reading many peoples experiences, that doesn't seem to happen that often.

Thank you all for your kind words, and I'll be sure to keep you updated on the blood work and the decisions that follow.

 

[white shadow]

.
Hi Meg142!.

I'm only going to speak to this:

"I just want to know that I have tried everything..."​

I'll mention a few things that stand out to me in your description of her current status/functioning, and what I would do IF I had both the time and the resources - meaning no time or financial restrictions.

First, she's likely very dehydrated by now - so, unless she's rehydrated before bloodwork is done, those results will be skewed.

Being likely dehydrated, were she to be given fluids, it would likely make a great difference to her overall immediate condition. If she's had no bowel movements, she's certainly constipated and possibly now obstipated (the stool is impacted) - each of those is treatable. Constipation causes bloating which causes inappetence. And, most constipation is the result of dehydration.....taking us right back to the top of this paragraph and the starting of fluids as the first intervention.

Removing the stool would be next and the first step toward restoring her appetite. Next would be to eliminate the likely presence of excess stomach acid (brought about in the absence of no food intake). A couple of 'easy' meds can manage the acid and nausea, after which the appetite stimulant could jump start her appetite. She would likely then require syringe feeding for at least a short period.

These things only cover off the immediate crisis, but doing them would allow a better evaluation and understanding of where the underlying disease is 'at'. Without clearing them away, I can't see how anything except helping her pass peacefully would be possible.

It does surprise me that the Vet did not appear to fully appreciate her immediate condition as you've laid it out here.

Obviously, those interventions would require both financial resources for the Vet fees but also the ability to arrange for her aftercare if you were unable to defer your travel. That's a lot to consider with a huge unknown, the state of her kidneys.

If you wanted more informed advice from folks who have been advising on the medical aspects, there's a specialized online group here and a description of how they work here.

If you need a plain-language coverage/reference for PKD, this is reliable: Polycystic Kidney Disease.

I can only wish you both the very best for whatever you believe needs to be done.
.

 

[neely]

People would tell me you'll know when it's time but that's easier said than done. You have listed all her signs and symptoms but, as you said, she starts to show affection and you second guess yourself. I think most of us can relate to that feeling. If it helps at all, a wise friend once told me, "it's better a day too soon than to let them suffer in pain." I never forgot those words.

TCS has an Article that discusses making the difficult decision and I thought it might have some helpful information for you:
When Is It Time? – Making The Difficult Decision – TheCatSite Articles

We are all thinking of you and sending special thoughts your way.

 

[The Goodbye Bird]

I think the hardest part about this is that every once in a while, she will come and rub up on my leg or lick my cheek and I automatically think "oh, maybe she feels better today!" And I get my hopes up.

That's exactly what I'm talking about. Enjoy that moment. Anything else is ruining it.

Pet her. Love her. Let that be a happy memory instead of looking up. Look at her.

 

[Meg142!]

.
Hi Meg142!.

I'm only going to speak to this:

"I just want to know that I have tried everything..."​

I'll mention a few things that stand out to me in your description of her current status/functioning, and what I would do IF I had both the time and the resources - meaning no time or financial restrictions.

First, she's likely very dehydrated by now - so, unless she's rehydrated before bloodwork is done, those results will be skewed.

Being likely dehydrated, were she to be given fluids, it would likely make a great difference to her overall immediate condition. If she's had no bowel movements, she's certainly constipated and possibly now obstipated (the stool is impacted) - each of those is treatable. Constipation causes bloating which causes inappetence. And, most constipation is the result of dehydration.....taking us right back to the top of this paragraph and the starting of fluids as the first intervention.

Removing the stool would be next and the first step toward restoring her appetite. Next would be to eliminate the likely presence of excess stomach acid (brought about in the absence of no food intake). A couple of 'easy' meds can manage the acid and nausea, after which the appetite stimulant could jump start her appetite. She would likely then require syringe feeding for at least a short period.

These things only cover off the immediate crisis, but doing them would allow a better evaluation and understanding of where the underlying disease is 'at'. Without clearing them away, I can't see how anything except helping her pass peacefully would be possible.

It does surprise me that the Vet did not appear to fully appreciate her immediate condition as you've laid it out here.

Obviously, those interventions would require both financial resources for the Vet fees but also the ability to arrange for her aftercare if you were unable to defer your travel. That's a lot to consider with a huge unknown, the state of her kidneys.

If you wanted more informed advice from folks who have been advising on the medical aspects, there's a specialized online group here and a description of how they work here.

If you need a plain-language coverage/reference for PKD, this is reliable: Polycystic Kidney Disease.

I can only wish you both the very best for whatever you believe needs to be done.
.

When she was first diagnosed, she was on IV fluids for 8 days. When she came home, she was a brand new cat! I didn't realize how tired she was until those first few days back from the hospital. She was eating, playing, loved her chin scratches. When I brought her back in a week later for a check up, her numbers were back up to what they were when I brought her in. I had her on IV fluids for 4 days that time. The vet told me that it would most likely be a cycle; she gets IV fluids, she does well for a while, then slowly declines. Then she goes back for fluids and she's okay for a while, then she gets worse again. And the real question is, how many times am I willing to put her, and myself through that? She hates car rides so that would stress her out, then the few days at the vet, to come home and feel okay, then feel sick again. And unfortunately my financial situation only allowed me to do that twice, as it was about $1,500 for her hospital stay and all the tests and supplements I had to put her on.

If I had endless time and finances, I'd go and get her a kidney transplant if it was an option. For now I will hold her close and pray her blood work shows some hope.

 

[Jcatbird]

Most of us, if not all, have had to make these choices. Every Heart here feels for you both and we will be here for hope and support.

 

[jefferd18]

When she was first diagnosed, she was on IV fluids for 8 days. When she came home, she was a brand new cat! I didn't realize how tired she was until those first few days back from the hospital. She was eating, playing, loved her chin scratches. When I brought her back in a week later for a check up, her numbers were back up to what they were when I brought her in. I had her on IV fluids for 4 days that time. The vet told me that it would most likely be a cycle; she gets IV fluids, she does well for a while, then slowly declines. Then she goes back for fluids and she's okay for a while, then she gets worse again. And the real question is, how many times am I willing to put her, and myself through that? She hates car rides so that would stress her out, then the few days at the vet, to come home and feel okay, then feel sick again. And unfortunately my financial situation only allowed me to do that twice, as it was about $1,500 for her hospital stay and all the tests and supplements I had to put her on.

If I had endless time and finances, I'd go and get her a kidney transplant if it was an option. For now I will hold her close and pray her blood work shows some hope.

I pray so too. Your vet can also show you how to administer fluid injections under her skin. This method works just as well to energize an ill cat and it will save you both the stress of a car ride and the price of overnight stays.

 

[Meg142!]

So last night, I just asked my kitty Fiona to let me know when it was her time to go. This morning, she was breathing so shallow that I was worried she had already gone. I gave her a little scratch and she jumped off the bed, her back legs gave out and she just peed right where she landed. I called the vet, and let them know what was going on and that I wanted her to get a check up before making any decisions. Then just a bit ago, she loves drinking out of the toilet. No idea why, she has plenty of water bowls and a water fountain but she loves to drink toilet water. As I was doing laundry she came in and sat in front of the bowl, then put her front paws up, her one leg gave out and she put her paws back on the ground. She tried again and got up this time, but slid off into the water. I had to fish her out because she couldn't get back up. I'm starting to think that this was her way of telling me it's time. She can no longer do what she use to do, she loves her cat tree but hasn't been up in a week, she loved to play but now she just turns away when I try, she loves her face massaged and scratched, now she doesn't even want to be touched. I think I know what the vets suggestion is going to be, and even though I don't like it, I know that she really isn't happy anymore.

 

[Meg142!]

It is with great sadness that I had to put my sweet kitty down this afternoon. The vet said her kidney levels were so high the machine wasn't able to read them probably. He assured me that I had done everything that I could and made her last few days as comfortable as I could for her. She went quickly, and I was able to have it done outside. I had my sister with me and wanted her to be with us so they offered to do it outside. I thought it was a good way to go, outside in the sun, with the wind blowing through her fur.

I surprisingly feel very peaceful about the situation. I am extremely devistated but I know that keeping her here any long would have been selfish on my part. She was ready to go and she let me know, and I listened.

Thank you all for your words of kindness. They really meant a lot and helped me get through this difficult decision

 

[jefferd18]

I am so sorry that she lost the fight but I am happy that she is now at peace- a young kitten again playing in the sunshine. Thank you for being there for her and helping her cross over. Good friends know when to say goodbye.

 

[neely]

I surprisingly feel very peaceful about the situation. I am extremely devistated but I know that keeping her here any long would have been selfish on my part. She was ready to go and she let me know, and I listened.

I know that feeling all too well especially with one of our little ones who lost his life to FIP at 3 yrs. old. My heartfelt sympathies go out to you. Since you adopted Fiona and gave her a forever home she was eternally grateful. Her time spent with you was one of love and affection. RIP sweet angel.

 

[Mamanyt1953]

My heart is with yours. I have walked this path many times in a long life. My heart with yours.

 

[pearl99]

I am sorry. But I'm glad she is free now, and that she got to be in the sun and with you to comfort her along. It is so hard. I went through this with my labrador Pearl, she had liver cancer and in the end she couldn't enjoy anything but at the vet's office I sat on the floor and she climbed in my lap and wagged her tail, like "thankyou, it's been wonderful but I can rest now."
Thinking of you!

 

[Norachan]

I'm so sorry for your loss M Meg142!

I think you did the kindest thing that you could do for Fiona. It was obviously time for her to go and you helped her pass without any more suffering.

When you feel ready it might help you to make a thread in her memory in our Crossing the Bridge forum

I'll lock this thread now.

Rest in peace Fiona, you will be missed.