Am I being unreasonable?

cheshirecat

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Chester is a very timid cat. When the door bell rings or anyone comes thru the door he goes to his hiding spot in the walk in closet.

Any time I need to find him that's where he is. That's his safe spot.

I keep his carrier there. The idea being if I ever have to get out in a hurry it will be where he is most likely to be. I know this and it is part of my emergency plan. I am not able to run around looking for him. And if I have to instruct someone else I need to know where he will be.

Well I had guests today. One of them always insists on going into the closet to see the cat. No matter how many times I say "please don't scare the cat" she ignores me and insists on looking for him.

This has been a long standing issue. No matter how many times I ask "Please don't bother the cat" she ignores me. Usually she will do a quick look around and then give up.

Then we go over the same old argument about why I have a cat that nobody ever sees. That's no fun. We want to see him.

Today we went thru the same thing and unfortunately this time she found him.

I don't know what happened but Chester came running across the apartment like his tail was on fire. Then hid under my desk.

My guests thought it was funny. I lost my temper and tried to explain my side of the argument. Nobody seemed to understand why I was mad and I felt bad about yelling at them.

Shortly after that they left. And I still feel bad. Now I feel bad because I have to spend the rest of the night making it up to Chester so he feels safe again.

Why is it that people just don't understand that cats have feelings too? This is his house too and he has the right to feel safe in it.

I know the best solution would be to not allow this person into my house but since she is a relative that is not an option. I just wanted to express my frustration in a place where it would be understood.
 

mimosa

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Originally Posted by CheshireCat

Then we go over the same old argument about why I have a cat that nobody ever sees. That's no fun. We want to see him.
And they fail to grasp the point that he's YOUR cat and that you don't have him for THEIR amusement ?

She is a guest in your house, I think she should behave that way and honor your request to leave him in peace. To do otherwise is just plain rude.
I think it is a very reasonable request to leave a scared cat alone in his safe place.
 

-_aj_-

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When i had the flat and lived with my babies Sooty's hiding place was behind the oven poor thin is terrifies of people that he does not know and no one would torment him mainly because Flash is a complete attention seeker lmao

but i hate people that think a cat is a toy that needs to be played with, it just bugs me
 

strange_wings

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Don't feel bad. It's your home and when in your home people should abide by your rules. They choose not to listen to you so you had every right to get mad.

Chester should be ok, he'll likely get more upset when he hears them over again, but he won't blame you.
 

ruthyb

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I wouldn't feel bad, my Fudge is very similar, she is petrified of strangers, even my children and hubby and she tends to hide away alot. I have managed to teach all my children, the youngest being just 3 to leave her alone and if I can teach them then surely adults can listen. I am sure that some of my friends don't believe that Fudge exists
Joking aside you were putting your cats feelings first and they should have respected that, gettin a timid cat to make big steps is the hardest thing ever and it it just takes some plonker to come along and undo it all in a few seconds.If they are good friends I am sure they will understand.x
 

lauren_miller

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Don't feel bad! It's your house!

I would not invite these guests back. I don't understand why people have to behave like that. It's your house, your cat and they should respect you. I'm so sorry your baby got scared.
 

tara g

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I wouldn't feel bad if I were you. Your guest, relative or not, is acting like a jerk in your home disregarding what you say/ask about leaving Chester alone. Neko runs under our bed when strangers come in the house. He's made leaps and bounds since we got him (used to run away if we approached him!), and people insist on "seeing the new kitty" (got him in November). He runs under the bed and people ask me to drag him out to see him. He used to hide in the washing machine pedestal drawer until someone found him there.
 

bellaandme

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People can be so STUPID!!! Cats need to have "safe spaces". Relatives can really push the limit more so than friends sometimes. Be firm with these people and say "NO! LEAVE MY CAT ALONE!"
The daughter of my friend who had Bella before me comes by sometimes and wants to see Bella. Well, Bella doesn't seem to like her. She hides under the bed. This person has actually "tried" to pull her out from under the bed. She only got to try that once..."Bella won't bite you, but I WILL! Leave her alone." The way I look at it, if she wanted to see Bella, she had plenty of time to devote to her when her mom had her--instead she ignored Bella! OK sorry I went off the path a little...
Don't be afraid to stand up to these people. Once you do it you will feel better that you spoke up for your baby. It is YOUR house and YOUR cat, they can abide by YOUR rules
 
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cheshirecat

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Thank you all for the support!

Chester has calmed down and is hanging out in his usual spot.

I think this upset me more than it did him.
 

natalie_ca

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Is your closet in a room with a door that can lock? If so, the next time you are expecting her over, let Chester into the closet and then lock the door of the room. This way she can't get in to disturb the cat and you are sending a strict message to her about leaving Chester alone.
 
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cheshirecat

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Originally Posted by Natalie_ca

Is your closet in a room with a door that can lock? If so, the next time you are expecting her over, let Chester into the closet and then lock the door of the room. This way she can't get in to disturb the cat and you are sending a strict message to her about leaving Chester alone.
There is a door to the room but no lock.

This could be an option. But then I would have another argument on my hands.

I like to give him the option of coming out to see us if he chooses.

Sometimes when it is quiet he will poke his head out and watch from a distance.
 

3catsn1dog

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I wouldnt get upset for being mad at them for acting like jerks. I would have been a lot less polite though if I were in your shoes. I would probably just tell her that unless she can respect your cats need for space she isnt allowed over, if she wants to see a kitty that bad she can get her own.

Ive already yelled at people who come over with their kids and then beg me to let Franklin come outside or beg to go in the house to see him or the kitties. Their parents think its cute and funny but guess what Franklin doesnt like little kids, he barks and runs away from them he also doesnt like men who are bigger than BF he runs away from them too. So I just dont bring him outside anymore and the rule in the house is if you cant understand that this is their house get the he** OUT! I dont care if they dont like me because I protect my pets and I make sure they are comfortable at all times, they dont like strangers or little kids poking hands and fingers at them so I make sure they dont have to put up with it. My fingers and hands are the only ones allowed to poke at my babies
 

trouts mom

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I just threaten people with "keep away from her right now, she bites"


It is true in my case
But she has never bitten a stranger, just me and DH.
 

catkiki

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Rusty is that way. She will hide but our friends do not go looking for her. Dusty will hide sometimes, but will usually come out but not get near the person.
 

nanner

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Oh, wow. Larry's exactly like this! The minute there's a sound of someone else coming in the door, he runs to the bed and goes under the quilt.....then creeps along so he's jammed against the wall and under a layer of 5 quilts and blankets. This is a step forward, though, as he used to run into the closet. Now he's out of the closet...


All of my friends respect this and leave him alone. And my friends, too, thought I had an "invisible cat". Some will softly pet the lump under the quilt, while talking softly to him.

But one guy, who came with his wife for dinner one night, with a bunch of friends, threw the quilt back, and Larry immediately sllinked over under the big pile of blankets. I was furious. This guy had never been over before, and thought it was funny. I let him know how "un-funny" I thought it was. Larry was fine afterwards, but I was p.o.'d. That guy's not coming over again.
 

larussa

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Then we go over the same old argument about why I have a cat that nobody ever sees. That's no fun. We want to see him.

Autumn runs and hides when anyone comes in my house also. At times she will come out and let my sister pet her but then she runs and hides again. I don't think you were rude at all, I would have been much worse. Family or not, you and kitty should not have to tolerate these type of guests. Some people are just plain ignorant.
 

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Next visit, I would tell the woman relative that Chester is in a certain closet, and have a motion-activated halloween decoration set up in there that talks or springs out at her if she opens it. Afterwards, everybody can laugh at how hysterically funny it was that she was so startled!

But I'm sort of an eye-for-an-eye person.
 
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cheshirecat

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Originally Posted by SwampWitch

Next visit, I would tell the woman relative that Chester is in a certain closet, and have a motion-activated halloween decoration set up in there that talks or springs out at her if she opens it. Afterwards, everybody can laugh at how hysterically funny it was that she was so startled!

But I'm sort of an eye-for-an-eye person.
I like this.
But then I'd be the bad guy if she has a heart attack.
 
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