Am i a bad person?

[danipoz]

My 10 month old kitten has died 12 hours ago from kidney disease, what hurts the most is that he was suffering before he died and not the death itself... Ofcourse i cried and was sad that he died but after some hours i dont feel much and im already thinking about getting a new buddy... Am i a bad person?

Problems with my 10 month old kitten.

 

[backwoodsvet]

Anyone that cares about animals, as you have, CAN NOT be a bad person........Very Sorry for your loss.............

 

[Caspers Human]

I'm sorry for your loss!
It's always sad when our pets pass away.

But, please... Don't go 'round second guessing yourself. It's too easy to get into a negative mode of thought.

Sometimes pets die and there isn't anything we could have done. Thinking like, "I could have done this..." or, "I should have done that..." often don't get us anywhere. We can only do our best even if our best doesn't always make things better. Sometimes, things just go wrong.

No! You are NOT a bad person! It's clear that you cared for your cat and loved him a lot and that makes you a GOOD person!

Give yourself some time to grieve. When the time is right, you can think about getting another cat.

Our thoughts and prayers are with you!

 

[fionasmom]

I am so sorry for your loss. It is very hard to lose any cat, but it is especially hard with a young one who was expected to have a long life ahead of them.

Your thread in Health documented how hard you tried to save this kitten and also the obstacles that you both faced with his health condition. While none of us will ever know, I personally feel that there was a predisposition or genetic link given that so much seemed to have been indicated in such a young cat and such a short period of time.

You did everything you could and he knew that you loved him and cared about him.

 

[Caspers Human]

I personally feel that there was a predisposition or genetic link

I agree! Sometimes, you just don't know when health problems might occur and there is often nothing you can do.

Humans can get cancer for no apparent reason. We can wonder, all day, why it happened. In the end, you can only say WHAT happened but not WHY it happened.

Maybe it was genetic. Maybe it was a congenital problem that he was born with. We might never know.

The one thing we DO know is that you loved your cat and that's what's most important.

The thing you need, most, right now is time... Time to grieve. Time to heal. Time to remember the good things. Time to forget about the bad things. When the time is right, you can decide what you want to do, later.

 

[KittyCat_chitchat]

I am so sorry that this was how it ended. Especially when your cat was so young. Saying goodbye never gets easier no matter how old an animal is, but it is devastating when it happens suddenly and they should have had so many more years ahead of them.

As other posters have already said, you are SO not a bad person. Even the fact that you are worrying that you might be is a good indication that you AREN'T. You clearly loved your cat and did everything in your power to save him. You cried when he was suffering. And while he may not have had the end that any of us would want for our pets, I am sure he knew that you loved him. I know so many other people, myself included, who've looked back after losing a pet and beaten ourselves up for not doing things differently. The fact remains that what you did, you did with the best intentions, out of love for your cat.

Everyone processes grief in different ways. For me, getting a new pet is often part of that healing process, and like you, I have worried that that might be callous. But it doesn't mean that I'm disregarding the friend I lost, or replacing them, because all animals are unique. You can't replace an individual, but you can be grateful that you had the privilege of knowing them, and that you gave them the best life you could give them.

That being said, I would not recommend rushing things by doing something like going to a shelter tomorrow. What you need now is time. Time to process what has happened. Time to reach out to understanding friends and loved ones for support. Time to take a break and try and think about other things, no matter how difficult this may seem (and is).

At first, it hurts, because all you can think about is the last day. But I promise you that time is the greatest healer, and after a while, when you remember your cat, you will remember him healthy and happy. And the most important thing to remember is that his final illness was only a brief span compared to the happy life I am sure he had with you.

 

[Stormy accepts you]

No, absolutely not, sweetheart. We all grieve at different speeds, and some people can share their love again with something instantly, while others need more time. Just because you move on a bit quicker doesn’t make you bad. You will always remember this cat, you’ll just get them as your guardian angel. They want you to be happy, I promise.

 

[Kat0121]

I agree! Sometimes, you just don't know when health problems might occur and there is often nothing you can do.

Humans can get cancer for no apparent reason. We can wonder, all day, why it happened. In the end, you can only say WHAT happened but not WHY it happened.

Maybe it was genetic. Maybe it was a congenital problem that he was born with. We might never know.

The one thing we DO know is that you loved your cat and that's what's most important.

The thing you need, most, right now is time... Time to grieve. Time to heal. Time to remember the good things. Time to forget about the bad things. When the time is right, you can decide what you want to do, later.

I agree with this. Clearly you loved your cat very much. Hold all you memories close. When the time is right, you and your next cat will find each other. Please be kind to yourself and let yourself grieve.

 

[catloverfromwayback]

No, absolutely not, sweetheart. We all grieve at different speeds, and some people can share their love again with something instantly, while others need more time. Just because you move on a bit quicker doesn’t make you bad. You will always remember this cat, you’ll just get them as your guardian angel. They want you to be happy, I promise.

This, exactly. I had Maddie for about twelve years, was shocked by her very sudden descent into what proved to be cancer - but it was only four days before I adopted Daisy. That was mostly because Phoebe was crying for feline company (she and Maddie were not remotely like a bonded pair, Mads didn't even like her much) and the timing wasn't great, because I knew we'd be moving interstate soon. It's not a timeline I'd recommend, but neither would I say it's an automatic no - and it doesn't remotely make you a bad person.

 

[di and bob]

No, you are not bad, you are using what that sweet kitten left you as a legacy. Suffering almost always happens at death, dying in your sleep at home almost never happens. To die so young from something like this almost always means a genetic connection.
They give us a wonderful gift here on earth, a cat's love. This legacy is meant to be a part of our soul and be passed on, growing ever stronger and blooming in the process. A new addition would help to soften the grieving process, distract you from the sadness. You can NEVER replace your little ones love, it is as unique as a snowflake, known only to YOUR heart and soul. But you can add to it.
Grieving takes on many froms, it may very well hit you later. sometimes your mind goes into a kind of denial or shock. Sometimes we feel relief, because we saw and felt the suffering and know now it has ended. That is natural, no one wants a loved one to suffer. Go where your heart leads you.
Your little one will always be connected to your soul by the bonds of love. NOTHING can take that from you. Whatever path he now follws will always parallel your own. He lives on through you now, so send him thoughts and prayers of happiness and love. He wants you to go forward into the future seeking life's happiness and beauty. Just as you would want for him if you were the first to go. That is love and he wants no less.
My thoughts and prayers are with you both, please accept my condolences on your loss and please keep us updated on any new additions! RIP sweet boy. You will never be forgotten, you will always have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you until you meet again!

 

[danipoz]

This was him when he was tiny.

 

[betsygee]

im already thinking about getting a new buddy... Am i a bad person?

Of course not! I have a friend who has twice now adopted new dogs the very same day her previous doggy companion died. She can't stand to have a home without a dog in it. There's nothing wrong with wanting to open your heart and home to another kitty right away.

I'm very sorry for your loss. Rest in peace, little one.

 

[tiggerwillow]

your not a bad person at all, you did everything you could, I'm sorry for your loss

Your kitten will be flying high with my angel Ebony

 

[LEGENDofBEVERLY]

I'm so sorry for your loss. But I'd like to think these are normal feelings and actions. I think I was looking at kittens about 6 hours after my best boy passed away. It was 5 days before my birthday, 13 days shy of our 11 year "got ya" day. And it was so unexpected. In hindsight I should have seen it sooner but I had no idea the day was gonna turn so fast.

But, for some reason, the idea of honoring him by bringing a new friend into my house sorta helped me get to sleep that night. I put an adoption application the morning after he passed. Now I adopted through my local government so i though it would take 2-3 months to get approved (lol) and I'd have all that time to process all the grief. But the Cat Distribution System had different Ideas....I had 3 new roommates at home less than 48 hours after that incredibly difficult vet visit.

Can't excuses away the 3 other's I've adopted since then (hahaha) but those 1st three....a lot of questions in the last 18 months but i will never regret doing it.

 

[gareth]

My 10 month old kitten has died 12 hours ago from kidney disease, what hurts the most is that he was suffering before he died and not the death itself... Ofcourse i cried and was sad that he died but after some hours i dont feel much and im already thinking about getting a new buddy... Am i a bad person?

Problems with my 10 month old kitten.

Ten years I lost my Burmese cat Eva. I still miss her. A DAY after she died I knew I was going to get another cat. A WEEK after she was killed I started the process of finding another cat. I wasn't even grieving - I was still in shock. The grief was horrific and lasted months, but my TWO new Burmese kittens gave me joy and helped me through it. They have now been with me a decade and I don't regret a single moment. If it feel right then it's right and don't let anyone else double guess your grief or your decision making process about new cats.