All right, Tiny, it's time you learned not to chew on me.

[callista]

So you guys know Tiny. He's my lovey cat, he understands me and I understand him.

He's a tamed feral. I adopted him when he was 9 months old. He's shy around other humans, but he likes me well enough.

I didn't have any huge problems integrating Tiny with Christy; there was some hissing at first, but I kept them away from each other until they got used to the concept of being housemates. The trouble was that, even after they got used to each other, Tiny really wanted to play with Christy and Christy just did not want to play, so he'd chase her and pounce, and she'd take it as an attack.

Christy's history is significant here, too. She's a shelter rescue who was going downhill due to stress when I picked her up. She was hiding in her litter box, poor girl! But she's happy here, and she loves high perches and hidey-holes, which I've provided plenty of for her.

So with the Tiny versus Christy situation--I've partly solved it. First of all, I put lots of hidey-holes and high places in for Christy, so that she can always find an escape when Tiny wants to play and she doesn't. Secondly, I started playing with Tiny a lot, so he had a playmate that wasn't a shy little calico girl who'd think he was attacking.

The trouble with Tiny is that he started out really unable to figure out what toys were. He caught on to small, prey-type toys quickly enough, chasing paper wads I threw. But he really wanted to wrestle with something and Christy just wasn't up for it, and he had absolutely no idea what to do with bigger toys--Kickaroo type things, stuffed animals, whatever; he just didn't know they could be wrestled with. He'd never play with anything bigger than mouse-sized.

So eventually, I started wrestling with him myself. Anytime he bit down or used claws, I'd stop the game. Nowadays, he never bites down, never uses his claws, and never hurts me. It took me a while to give in, because I generally have a policy of never ever letting cats play with my hands, but eventually I just realized that this little guy was going to wrestle with *something*, and if it wasn't me, it would be Christy, and she'd be traumatized.

Lately I've had a financial scare that very nearly ended up with me losing my apartment. They don't allow cats in homeless shelters, and if I have to find another place for Tiny, I don't want him to seem like he's aggressive. I want to teach Tiny to wrestle with something other than my hands.

Tiny is not actually aggressive. He doesn't bite down. He doesn't hurt me. He's not angry. But he might seem that way to someone who didn't know him. Not playing with hands might be the difference between life and death for him if the worst happens.

Right now I'm not in danger of losing my home anymore; I've got a job and I'm starting next Monday--thank God--but... if this happens again, if Tiny has to stay with someone who isn't me, who doesn't understand that he won't hurt them...

How do I teach an ex-feral kitty how to wrestle with a toy instead of with my hand?

 

[di and bob]

My cats LOVE their Kickaroos, I think you should start there. Put it in a plastic bag with catnip once in a while to 'restart' the interest. Throw it and see what he does. If nothing, hold it in your hand and pull it half way up a sweatshirt or long sleeve so just the kickaroo is hanging out, he may think it is a hand extension. I don't understand why he won't play with it if you are waving it around, I think he needs catnip on it. Good luck, and hopefully someone with more experience can help!

 

[mservant]

I'm with @Di and Bob  , the Kickeroo and similar large soft toys you can play with as a hand arm extension are quite good for giving a cat the feeling you are still hands on and encourages them to play more appropriately.  I have a Kickeroo, and a large rat toy that I've used with Mouse since training him not to bite hands.  He loves the physical human / cat play too and it's been the only thing to work for him.  Not 'feral' in the least but he is wild when he plays with me and it would scare others to bits.

One thought, Tiney might not play in the same way with anyone else, least ways until he really bonded with them, so the issue is probably only to do with if other people see him play with you.  Also for him to learn to play with toys between him and the person he is playing with.

Hopefully this strategy will never be needed of course, hope all goes smoothly for you and your home from now on. 

 

[callista]

I've tried kind of switching to a kickeroo or stuffed animal when he's playing with me--he just kind of flips back onto his feet and looks at me like, "Uhhh... we were having so much fun! What the heck did you just stick in my face?!" It's a very distinct dirty look. Silly cat, he thinks he runs the house... he may very well be right.

 

[mservant]

Tried rolling him over on his back and pinning him down with the kickeroo?  You get a good look if you succeed in that. 

  That's Mouse's favourite, it's what his fur mom used to do to him.  Might not fit with the more socially acceptable play you have in mind though. 

 

[fhicat]

 
My cats LOVE their Kickaroos,

Mine runs away from a Kickaroos. >.<

 

[penofdl]

I think the key is not getting it too close to their face. When I was first playing with my older cat, and she would start trying to make a feast out of my arm, I would grab the kickaroo with the hand that was being assaulted and pull my arm out until I could release it into her paws. She didn't really notice the switch as long as I stopped pulling before it got up under her nose.

Also, my kitten had the same issues with not understanding how toys worked since she was weaned way too early and had never really had any other contact with kittens her own age as far as we could tell (she was pressing herself against the back of the kitten cage to -avoid- the kittens who were playing when I found her at the shelter), but after a few weeks of watching me play with my other cat, she started catching on to how these things work and now is just as playful as any other kitten might be (even if her favorite toy currently is her own tail).

Try some different techniques. You might be surprised what works.