Agrression at feeding time--new cat instigates

[mysterylover]

Hi all,

I have an issue that is not going away, so I am going to those here who are experienced.  I adopted my mom's cat back in early November.  He is about 8 years old, according to the vet (Mom took him in when a family seemingly moved and left him behind).  I have 3 cats who were obviously here first.  Mine are siblings whose mom left them for me after I had fed her before they were born.  The siblings are 2 males and a female, so the poor girl is really outnumbered.  Everyone is neutered/spayed.

Actually, we did a really slow introduction, and overall, it went much better than I thought it would.  There were a few spats, but for the most part, when everyone is full, they are happy and walk by each other without any spats.  I even caught one of my cats sleeping on the same surface with the new cat only about 5 inches apart, which I considered a huge step.

Loki was on an all-dry food diet when we got him, and he was free fed.  At the last vet visit, the vet said his glucose seemed a bit high but not diabetic but that it could have just been from the stress of going to the vet for the first time in years.  I decided that the first thing I needed to do was get him off of the dry if at all possible.  Well, with the help of this site, he is on an all wet diet now.  He is actually finicky and only wants Weruva (but does like several varieties, though he scoffed at the beef) and Nutro minced chicken (and occasionally minced chicken and shrimp as a special treat, since it was his first wet food ever he ate).  I also stopped free feeding.  He is not as small as my cats, but I think two of my cats could stand to gain at least half a pound, but that is hard when the girl could be overweight if she gained.  Loki was about 11 pounds at that last vet visit, and I think he would be fine if he lost a pound over time.  I actually thought with the run of the house (he lived in my mom's bedroom for the last 7 years) and the wet food, he would lose some, but it is not noticeable to me, which I figured is good and means he is not losing weight dangerously fast or anything.

The biggest issue we have with him is that scheduled feeding brings out the worst  in him.  When I start getting the water bowls and changing the water or cleaning the litter boxes, which I always do as part of the feeding routine, he begins starting hitting fights with my cats.  I  have watched, and he is the instigator.  They fight back, but that is nature. Also, he scarfs down his entire bowl of food in about a minute.  I am feeding him at least 4 oz and maybe even 5 oz of the 6 oz Weruva food, since I know it is lower in calories or a whole 3 oz can of the Nutro minced per meal.  I usually feed twice a day, but to try to stop the behavior, I was feeding a snack of canned food in between the larger feedings.  It may have helped a bit.  I feed him first (separately in the safe bedroom where he was before he was introduced), and he gets under my feet and cries like he is starving as I prepare it.  Also, if he gets hungry, he will get in my lap and act loving and cuddly but then it turns aggressive (he hit me and drew blood the other day after being in my lap for 5 minutes and not getting his desired effect of food as soon as he would like--I was working on the computer on work that was late and could not stop right away and feed them).  The other day, he was finished eating and crying at the bedroom door to get out where my cats were still eating, and my husband had to go in there for something.  Loki tried to bolt out, and when my husband put his foot up to stop him, Loki bit him.  We do not have cats who bit aggressively, so this is all new.  My cats only nip out of true affection when they are sort of overstimulated.

Our first reaction was likely wrong, which was to scold him.  My husband even put him in the bedroom in time-out.  Tonight, when he started slapping one of the other cats, I just took him to the bedroom and made him stay there while I fixed his food.  That kept everyone safe, but I feel like he is not learning that this is bad behavior by us putting him up during food preparation.  He does better if I am giving treats of chicken between meals.  I put him on my left and my cats on my right and hand out the treats, and there is no fighting.

Any advice is welcome.  Am I maybe not feeding him enough calories still since one meal a day is usually Weruva?  Should I keep the snacks up but make it a full meal for him?  If his glucose is borderline, could it be low or something if he is going too long without some sort of food and causing irritability?  Could he still be adjusting to not be free fed?   I stopped free feeding him even before the transition to wet food, but during that time, he was not incorporated into the house and was still living in his safe room, so he did not have my cats to fight with.  (He was, however, doing the thing where he would start cuddling and being affectionate with my daughter and then it would escalate to hitting when it was near feeding time, and I chalked it up to him adjusting to change.)  I wonder if he is doing the fighting to make sure he has my attention (in other words, he is say, "Stop messing with the water or the liter and feed me!" During treat time, he is actually more patient that the other three.

Okay, this is a novel, so I will just wait for any responses from the great people here who are so generous with their experience and time! 

 

[shadowsrescue]

Do you know if he exhibited this behavior when he was with your Mom or when he was fed dry food only? 

A few thoughts I have: 

He is feeling very territorial about his food.  He loves the new wet food and wants to eat and eat.  I have a cat that eats so fast and then quickly wants to go and eat the others foods ( they are very slow eaters).  I just have to keep on top of him so the others can finish.  Feeding him a separate space is a good idea.  I guess I would consider placing him in his room with the door closed and then going to prepare his food elsewhere.  Allow him to yowl and howl when he is finished, but don't let him out until the others are done.

Time outs are fine as long as there is not swatting the cat.  Just pick the cat up with a stern "No" and place him in the safe room.  Start with just a few minutes.  If he does the behavior again, place him in time out for a few extra minutes.  It may take a few times and a few days for him to understand.

My son's cat used to love on him when he wanted food too.  He would bite or swat if he didn't get his way.  The only thing that worked was either distracting him with a toy ( full out play session) or getting up and walking away.  You can also give a stern " No bite" and then walk away. 

Hopefully others will come along with additional answers.  I can imagine this is very frustrating. 

 

[mysterylover]

Thank you for the insight.  He did not exhibit that sort of behavior in regard to food at my Mom's since he was free fed and basically never hungry.  The issue that bothers me the most is that his aggression starts at the "pre-show," when I am just cleaning the liter boxes and getting the water, when I am distracted and unable to referee as well.  That is a routine I have had for 5 years with my cats, and interestingly, they always take that opportunity to use the liter box.  I honestly think their digestive system starts working when they see me getting the scoop and stuff, since they know food is next.  I guess I could put him up while I clean the boxes in the other room, but of course, he has a box in his safe room that I have to eventually clean.

When he comes over to the computer now and I know it is nearing food time, I usually act like I am standing up, and he runs to the kitchen (in hopes that I am heading to feed him, which is all he really wants at that time).  I know that, if he jumps in my lap near feeding time, it is not about affection.  Other than this issue, he has adjusted well and is not seeking out a fight with my cats or anything.  They are not best buddies, but they are sharing the space, the affection, etc. much better than I thought.

I will try being more firm with him.  He is bigger than my cats, so I may be a bit intimated by that in terms of me maybe actually getting injured by him.  I am sure he feels that.  Also, to be honest, because I rescued (had to trap them) my three cats when they were pretty feral babies and worked to form this close bond, I am sure I am partial to them in terms of my emotional connection.  I am working on speaking to him in the same motherly tone of voice I do them.  He seemed so laid back at my mom's, but in being locked in one room, his sense of adventure and curiosity was not being filled.  He is really headstrong about doing things like checking out the contents of the refrigerator when you are getting out something and then sitting so you cannot close the door.  I pushed with my hand the other day because touching him with the door was not working, and he reached around like he was going to bite me--again, not knowing him, I don't know how hard he would bite if he did.  My female will sometimes bite me in protest if she is in my lap and I have to get up, but she never bites hard or breaks the skin (and always gets a tap on the nose and a firm "no!" when that does happen).

One of my cats, Little One, took literally years to ever get in my lap or sleep on me.  I had mono three years ago.  Since it makes you sleep so much, I spent too much time sleeping during those months.  I woke up from napping on the couch, and to my surprise, Little One was asleep on me (thought it was his brother and was so shocked).  After that, he has been more and more affectionate and is often in my lap more than the others are now.  I keep saying, "If Little One can change, so can Loki!"  I just have to have that same patience I had with Little One. One of these days, maybe I will wake up with Loki on me.  LOL!   

 

[shadowsrescue]

My animals all have internal clocks that go off about 30 minutes before their scheduled feeding time.  They all line up and wait.  Some more patiently than others!  I also care for 3 feral cats (now mostly semi feral) that live on my deck with a great shelter set up.  They too wait at the door! 

Is there anyone else in the home that could help you with feeding?  It might help to have someone else distract him while you are preparing his meal.  I know that when it's feeding time, I am the only one around.  It's hard to get all 6 fed without someone having a melt down!

It is wonderful you were able to rescue this cat and that he coexists with your other cats.  You are quite lucky that he adapted so quickly.  I brought a feral/stray male into my home over 2 years ago.  It took he and my resident cat a solid year to just coexist.  We had some really rough times.  Now they are great buds. 

I hope you can figure something out that works for all.  Keep us posted.

 

[mysterylover]

Unfortunately, the only time I can get occasional help with feeding is when my daughter comes home from college a couple of weekends a month.  Honestly, I do worry that the cats would starve if I were ever really bedridden or hospitalized.  In 5 years, I do not think my husband has ever opened a cat of food (but he will give them treats).  I sat on the floor and fed them when I had mono and could hardly stay awake, but they got fed, and it kept them from being too stressed over the changes in routine the illness was causing with me sleeping so much.  I tell myself that, if he had to, my DH would feed them, since he really does love them.

For now, I am trying to keep them from getting as hungry, and it seems to help, and yes, I do feel blessed that Loki is actually adjusting to not only living in a new house but also living with his own species without any out-and-out brawls (just a few scratched noses and, again, mostly at feeding time).

I know he has come a long way in a few months, so things may be totally different in 6 months!  

 

 

[shadowsrescue]

 
Unfortunately, the only time I can get occasional help with feeding is when my daughter comes home from college a couple of weekends a month.  Honestly, I do worry that the cats would starve if I were ever really bedridden or hospitalized.  In 5 years, I do not think my husband has ever opened a cat of food (but he will give them treats).  I sat on the floor and fed them when I had mono and could hardly stay awake, but they got fed, and it kept them from being too stressed over the changes in routine the illness was causing with me sleeping so much.  I tell myself that, if he had to, my DH would feed them, since he really does love them.

For now, I am trying to keep them from getting as hungry, and it seems to help, and yes, I do feel blessed that Loki is actually adjusting to not only living in a new house but also living with his own species without any out-and-out brawls (just a few scratched noses and, again, mostly at feeding time).

I know he has come a long way in a few months, so things may be totally different in 6 months!  

 

I completely get the help thing!  My DH will help with the morning feeding, but he mostly does the dog.  I do the 5 cats.  I am all alone for evening feeding and do all of the care for the 3 feral cats I have outside.  My DS (also in college) is a great help when he is home.  Yet he is only home about once every 2 months.  My DH loves the cats too and has special treat time with them, but most of the care falls on me.  He will help if I ask and I know if something happened to me, he would do his best to care for them.  I did have surgery 3 years ago ( only had 3 animals then) and DH was great.  He even went out and spent time with one of my feral cats.  So I know it's possible!!

In 6 months time you will be amazed.  When I worked with my two, I used to think that things would never get better.  The most I could hope for was coexistence.  Then magically they started to play and groom each other.  It is so much fun to watch them run around the house together and spend time together.  I also know that I had to be sure that my emotions were not getting in the way.  I used to get very upset and uptight when they could not get along.  I felt as though my entire life was dictated to making them safe and happy.  Once I stopped my angst, things did get better all along.