Aggressive play behavior - tips for keeping an 8 month old kitten from attacking older cats.

[ChelleN1019]

We adopted a Dexter 2 months ago, and are struggling to integrate him into our household. Dexter is an 8 month old neutered male that was rescued as a stray. We have 2 older males (Inky, 8 years, and Jasper, 4 years) that have formed a close relationship with each other. We did the usual introduction routing, and have redone it again to no avail. Dexter is obsessed with attacking the older cats.

Inky came from a cat hapoarder house and was the cat the other cats picked on. As such he has always been shy and vet sweet. When Dexter tries to get him Inky will hiss and growl to deter Dexter. This stops him for a minute or two and then Dexter attacks more aggressively.

the bigger issue is with Jasper. Dexter immediately attacks Jasper EVERY TIME he is is in the same room. Dexter pounces, holds him in place and bites his neck hard. Jasper will scream and cry, but does not run away. A lot of the attacks occur on the top of the cat tree. We separate, put Dexter in a time out in the bathroom, and if we let him out he goes straight for Jasper again. We’ve been keeping Dexter locked upstairs to keep our other guys safe, but it’s not fair to Dex either.

a couple of notes:
1. When Dexter attacks Inky, it upsets Jasper and Jasper will in turn attack Inky.
2. After these altercations Jasper and Inky are back to their normal relaxed selves within 5-10 minutes. They have not been stressed to the point that they will hide for long periods of time (like during thunderstorms).
3. We are able to feed all 3 close to each other in the same room, and they all are fine while waiting for their dishes.
4 . Jasper and inky are fine with Dexter on opposire sides of the baby gates. They sometimes bat at each other with their paws, but it does not seem mean.
5. we do playtime with the cats, and we do try to distract with kicker toys and feather wands to no avail.
6. We have Feliway diffusers in every room, Sentry calming collars, misc. calming treats that don’t help much, harnessing, etc. we are trying everyth we can think of or is suggested to us.

Is there any way we can get Dexter to stop with the instant attacks? Are my hubby and me being overly sensitive about the fights? I try to get video, but we intervene right away every time. We’re exhausted and on the brink of returning Dexter to the Humane Society. I really do not want to because I’m already attached. Please help if you have any ideas.

 

[ArtNJ]

To answer your question, I wouldn't say you are being oversensitive, but sometimes the best strategy is to let cats work through stuff. If allowed to work through this stuff and together 24/7, the kitten would be calm and sleepy sometimes, and the older cats would see he isn't always crazy. But if his attempts at play always result in a separation, he never gets it out of his system and will keep trying. It doesn't teach them. You can't teach a kitten not to be this way. Additionally, and this is important, only a real cat fight with rolling around with true hostile intent sets back progress. Another important principle is that if a cat comes right back out and acts like nothing happened in a few minutes, its not that big a deal.

Basically, the only way forward is through. Unless one of the cats wants to fight for real, which is a whole different thing. But it doesn't sound like real fights with intent to injure are in play.

 

[vince]

Point No. 1, the redirected aggression is normal. Cats often do that. It shouldn't pose a problem.
Point No. 3, the bops on the noggin, also is normal. It can be play, or a request to "get away."
Hissing is another "get away signal." Not a problem.

I was going to suggest a kicker, but you already did that. Maybe a laser pointer to chase would be good to tire out Dexter. A ping pong ball, tossed in the bathtub, might be a good toy for Dex to burn off some energy. The sound is attractive to cats, and the ball comes back for more play! They're cheap too, which is an advantage, as the ball often disappears under furniture after it escapes the tub.

Your older cats aren't really showing signs of severe stress. They do need some relief, though. Putting them into separate spaces for a while is a good idea. It's not so much as being unfair to Dex as it is giving a respite to the others. You can swap out spaces too.

Eventually, they two older cats will impose some discipline on Dex. They'll probably pin him down and grab him by the back of the neck, accompanied by some loud vocal protest. It's normal, too. It's how cats deal with it.

All this is normal kitten behavior. It will continue in large part for a year or so and perhaps longer.

 

[ChelleN1019]

Thank you both for your insight. Are you able to provide guidance on when we should intervene? If Dexter is biting the back of the neck, andJasper cries out but does not run away do we let them be? We watch the ears and the tail, but I think we are too sensitive if we react every time Jasper cries. He’s part Siamese, and I think he’s a little dramatic. I may be wrong though.

 

[ArtNJ]

Play biting the neck is pretty common. It seems especially common if one cat isn't willing to play back or run away. You won't find wounds, so apparently we are talking about some pretty modest level of discomfort. So its not something to worry about, just part of working things out. Either the young one will calm down over time, or the older ones will get more comfortable with him and they may play back.