Advice on rehoming

[Ezavora]

I have had my cat sophie for about 3 years. Very friendly and social. We lost my other cat a bit ago and I could tell sophie was lonely so we got another kitty. It's worth noting sophie plays rough with cat friends. She's not violent per say but will chase and taunt then 2 minutes later wants to cuddle haha. The introduction to my new cat Sasha went well. We kept them separate and gradually introduced. No major conflict but sophie started to be rough like she was previously. No big cat fights just chasing and Sasha wasnt a fan so I made sure she had a safe space to have overnight with a litter box and food. Now ive noticed Sasha is peeing and pooping around the house. I have 3 boxes now and ive moved them around and I think that sophie is near her when she goes and so she goes into closets now to go to the bathroom.

Sasha has been increasingly annoyed with sophie so I am doing my best correcting the behavior and rewarding when shes about to pounce and then walks away. I love both my cats but I feel Sasha is almost deprived because she hides and when she's in a room with me by myself she's so happy but around sophie she isn't. My other cat who passed just ignored sophie but I feel so bad for Sasha.
Re homing isn't an option i want to do at all, I jusy am concerned with Sasha being stressed to the point that she isn't wanting to use the litter box. Any suggestions? Again im not thinking of re homing as a possible solution, just curious if there's a point that others suggest it should be considered

 

[danteshuman]

Hello & ty for not wanting to rehome Sasha!!!
If it were my cats I would seperate them. Sasha gets run of the house 12 hours a day and after you put Sasha in her room, Sophie gets to go around the house as she pleases. I would also try putting Sophie on mood stabilizers (the vet can prescribe it & they now make prozac cream you put on their ears.) I had a bully that terrorized my mom’s senior front paws declawed cat so bad she started pooping on the counter!!!!!! If I had known about it my insecure bully would have been on prozac so fast! (They both passed.)

Maybe in 2-4 months you can try them together (with supervision.) I would also give each cat 2 litter boxes (without lids) in each cat room & 2 litter boxes in the communal areas. That way they can poop in one box & pee in the other in their room. Plus they can pee/poop in the communal boxes and smell each other in what they leave in the box.

Once Sophia is responding to her medication & when you get to a point where they can be together; I would reintroduce them Hang in there.

 

[Timmer]

How long have you had Sasha?
Does Sasha stand up to her or run and hide?
So, it sounds like you put one in a room at night and let them be together during the day. Are you home during the day? Maybe Sophie does not let her use the litter box during the day so she is going anywhere else?

I'm in a similar situation as you, but I got my two cats at the same time, three months ago. One is more aggressive than the other one. I have plenty of Feliway diffusers around the house. Have you tried those? I believe an outdoor cat comes around at night and gets the one stirred up. They are both great cats but they deserve peaceful homes. I work. I'm not home to supervise and play with them all day.
You could try putting them in separate rooms and swapping them out. I did that for several years with two cats I had and it's a lot of work.
You know in your heart what is best and what you feel. Do not feel guilty for rehoming a cat. I might get a lot of flak for saying that, but having lived with cats who do not get along for years, it's a strain on everyone.
I am considering prozac for my aggressive cat. I had another cat on it. It was weird at first, for me, but I'm not sure they noticed.
If that does not work, I will rehome the aggressive one.

 

[ArtNJ]

In addition to the how long have you had them q, can you tell us the ages and exactly what happened in the intro process and how long each step was?

I personally don't believe rehoming is a bad thing to do once you've given this a good shot, if a cat is of an age, health and personality that there will be another home available. Sometimes things dont work out, and there is no need to make basically all the occupants of your house including the cats (or one of them) miserable. If you commit months and months, it will only be emotionally harder to part with the cat, you'll have suffered, and the scared cat will have suffered. But I'm really not trying to express a specific opinion as to your situation -- don't have enough facts yet.

 

[danteshuman]

So many people go straight to rehoming without trying. If you do rehome a cat then I would suggest rehoming the non aggressive one because it will be harder to find a only cat home for the aggressive one. My current cat is hyper & easily stressed. I adopted him because I knew if he was adopted by someone that didn’t know how to deal with hyper cats; he would wind up being rehomed or worse. (He is pretty well behaved provided he gets his 2 hours outside time every day. But if you didn’t know that he would be an extremely naughty destructive kitty.)

I would give the prozac a try but it takes weeks to work, so plan on it taking 2 months to work. I had to rehome a cat; it turned out she was an outdoor/indoor cat trapped in my indoor only apartment. It was the right choice for that cat & she lived happily with my x-in-laws until she died. So I’m not judging on the rehoming.

The reason I said to separate the cats for now is because it takes at least 10 if not a 100 good interactions for every attack that Sophie gets. If someone punched you in the arm you wouldn’t trust them. How many good interactions would it take you to trust that person near you? So by avoiding a negative interaction for now it saves you time later on.

Feliway works on about half the cats to varying degrees. So it is very hit & miss. I would try cat attract litter for Sophie’s 2 boxes.if Sophie keeps peeing/pooping out of her box with no contact from Sasha, I would take her to the vet. Often cats pee out of the box from UTIs or bladder crystals. Rarely do they poop out of the box to. So hopefully it is just stress. Your vet can prescribe a light sedative for a week or two if needed as a last resort. If you are not using litter that is sand like, switch to a clumping litter that is like sand. Many/most cats hate the crystal litter & lots hate the wood pellet litter.