Advice for socializing semi-feral

[kouie]

Hi there, I have a semi-feral domestic short hair kitty named Mia. She's currently ~1 years old. Due to my living circumstances, she lives in the garage and I've only been able to spend 3-4 hours with her every day after work. I've been able to fit in 2-3 play sessions every day. There's also an old car that's used for storage that she hides under, which has made it challenging to engage with her if she doesn't feel like coming out. She has made amazing progress over the past 5 months I've had her. She has been walking/sitting in the open regardless of me standing or sitting for the past 1-2 months. Mia is now willing to sit 1 foot away from me and sit between my legs if I'm sitting with legs outstretched (if I have treats).

I'm trying to get her used to getting touched. I've tried two times in the past 5 months. First time was in the 2nd month I had her. I used a tube snack and she backed away and hissed. I stopped since she became more cautious. The next attempt was on the 4th month mark. I grazed her back when she was playing with her food puzzle. She just froze for a few seconds this time and jumped over the puzzle box to distance herself. I stopped after several attempts since it didn't allow consistency as she would need to accidentally move near me in order to get that chance to graze her back.

I've since been working on desensitizing her to my hands, legs, and feet with treats. I plan to make another attempt soon by having one of my hands positioned at her side while I give her a treat and gradually close the distance, adjusting it to her comfort level. I'm just not sure if this is the best strategy as I don't want to ruin the work I've done to get her to be comfortable with sitting near me.

I received advice from some volunteers at a cat shelter who socialize feral kittens. They said to either give the cat a treat and pet them while they are distracted or pass a toy they like under my legs and give them a graze to get them used to getting touched. From what I know about Mia, treats will not work because she's very aware of any movement. She'll stop and look in the direction of any sudden movement/sound or retreat a few steps. Her favorite toy is a wand toy, but she will run away with it after she catches it, which makes the toy method not feasible. I've also heard of the touch stick method. She's fine with a stick being near her as I've used it to retrieve items from her, but she will back off if I lift it higher than her chin level. I've also read an article about just being patient and letting the kitty decide when or if ever they want to be touched.

I just don't know what's the best choice or if there's a better method. I'm not running out of patience and I have no plans to give up on her. For those who are concerned about her being in the garage, she has a cat tower near the window, a litter box, a carpet and 3 cat beds throughout the garage. Don't worry, I don't plan to have her in the garage forever. I plan to move out in a year and give her free rein of the new place.

Should I just wait it out until she initiates the touch? Or is there another method I can try to get her used to being touched?

 

[di and bob]

I ahve brought many ferals to the point of actually liking to be stroked, and every one of them started when they were eating. I first got them used to eating while they were at my feet, then touched their NECK, not their back, because most cats enjoy a good scratching to the neck area. of course, the first few hundred times they shot away like a rocket, but little by little they became used to it and grew to like it. The first time they ever jump onto your lap is a thrill! If your little one is more at ease with you sitting, then sit by the food and get her used to your presence. THEN progress to trying to touch them. My outside cats I have now still shy away from my hand, but at feeding time allow me to carress their necks. That took a year. Their mama still has never been touched, she is a true feral, whereas the others were born here and more used to humans. I trapped and spayed/neutered all of them, 6 in total. Bless you, for helping her like this, you are an angel.......

 

[RTR]

I have a formal feral cat since 5weeks old! A tiger cub might have been easier to manage! Best advice I got was just feed her and ignore her! One day she jumped up on me and fell asleep! Still to this day, I'm the only one who can handle her!

 

[pearl99]

With my Waffles I was able to progress from him eating beside me with the food on the floor and me sitting still, no attempts to pet him, to putting the food bowl on my outstretched legs below my knees, and gradually moving a finger just a little bit, then gradually add more movement. He would scoot also at first with the movement, but would come back to eat (and I wouldn't do any movement a second time) and at a snail's pace eventually got to touch.
He is now a loving lap kitty- I've had him for 7 years. I did go at his pace.
It's like waiting for mountains to move, geologic time, but well worth it!

 

[LunarFlower]

I have taken in one stray and two truly feral kittens. The best method I found is to only let them eat when you are present. If you can, feed them by holding out a spoon with tasty soft food and treats, and don’t let them convince you to put it on the ground.



Make them build up a little courage and come to you. At first, hold it at arm’s length, then gradually (day by day) bring it closer to you. If they freak out, back down a little and take it slower than before. Patience is key.

If the car is a problem (she uses it as a safety blanket instead of building trust), is the garage big enough to put a camping tent in? If you can control their environment, you might have better luck. I’ve used camping tents (indoor) as recovery rooms for shy cats after surgery, so they can’t hide under beds, etc. when they need to be monitored closely. It won’t work for every cat, but it worked for mine. Make sure to get one big enough for you to get in safely, as well as a cat bed, water dish, and litter box. (Mine is 7’ square, but it has enough room for a small mattress, so you may not need that much space if you don’t need to sleep near the cat). Mine also has a security camera to monitor the cats when I’m not there, but you shouldn’t need to invest in that unless you want to.




I also recommend spending as much time either in the tent (if you go that route) or garage as possible. She needs to get bored of your presence to the point she is not afraid of you anymore. Try watching tv, reading a book, or playing with your phone in the room with her. Heck, eat your meals there if that’s an option. Use it as your default hangout area when you have free time at home, and don’t force her to interact with you the entire time you are there. Eventually most cats will get curious about what you are doing or at least lose their trepidation and become more social if they realize you’re not messing with them and are doing other activities.
Sounds like you are on the right path. Be patient, and don’t stop trying new ideas! Every cat is a little different in what they need to be comfortable. Good luck!

 

[kouie]

Thank you all for the wonderful suggestions! I shall give them a try. Cheers to a hopeful success.

 

[Margot Lane]

Keep us posted! Good luck!

 

[BuddhaCat]

Hi there, I have a semi-feral domestic short hair kitty named Mia. She's currently ~1 years old. Due to my living circumstances, she lives in the garage and I've only been able to spend 3-4 hours with her every day after work. I've been able to fit in 2-3 play sessions every day. There's also an old car that's used for storage that she hides under, which has made it challenging to engage with her if she doesn't feel like coming out. She has made amazing progress over the past 5 months I've had her. She has been walking/sitting in the open regardless of me standing or sitting for the past 1-2 months. Mia is now willing to sit 1 foot away from me and sit between my legs if I'm sitting with legs outstretched (if I have treats).

I'm trying to get her used to getting touched. I've tried two times in the past 5 months. First time was in the 2nd month I had her. I used a tube snack and she backed away and hissed. I stopped since she became more cautious. The next attempt was on the 4th month mark. I grazed her back when she was playing with her food puzzle. She just froze for a few seconds this time and jumped over the puzzle box to distance herself. I stopped after several attempts since it didn't allow consistency as she would need to accidentally move near me in order to get that chance to graze her back.

I've since been working on desensitizing her to my hands, legs, and feet with treats. I plan to make another attempt soon by having one of my hands positioned at her side while I give her a treat and gradually close the distance, adjusting it to her comfort level. I'm just not sure if this is the best strategy as I don't want to ruin the work I've done to get her to be comfortable with sitting near me.

I received advice from some volunteers at a cat shelter who socialize feral kittens. They said to either give the cat a treat and pet them while they are distracted or pass a toy they like under my legs and give them a graze to get them used to getting touched. From what I know about Mia, treats will not work because she's very aware of any movement. She'll stop and look in the direction of any sudden movement/sound or retreat a few steps. Her favorite toy is a wand toy, but she will run away with it after she catches it, which makes the toy method not feasible. I've also heard of the touch stick method. She's fine with a stick being near her as I've used it to retrieve items from her, but she will back off if I lift it higher than her chin level. I've also read an article about just being patient and letting the kitty decide when or if ever they want to be touched.

I just don't know what's the best choice or if there's a better method. I'm not running out of patience and I have no plans to give up on her. For those who are concerned about her being in the garage, she has a cat tower near the window, a litter box, a carpet and 3 cat beds throughout the garage. Don't worry, I don't plan to have her in the garage forever. I plan to move out in a year and give her free rein of the new place.

Should I just wait it out until she initiates the touch? Or is there another method I can try to get her used to being touched?

put some soft creamy treat on your fingers so she has to lick it off. feed her turkey by hand. try to stroke her scritches her wheels and neck a little. when she learns to trust your hands and that they can feel good things will move quickly.

watch the videos on youtube by socialization saves lives. lots of great advice and she takes an approach of letting the cat lead than forcing things on them which has gotten good results for lots of people.

 

[BuddhaCat]

put some soft creamy treat on your fingers so she has to lick it off. feed her turkey by hand. try to stroke her scritches her wheels and neck a little. when she learns to trust your hands and that they can feel good things will move quickly.

watch the videos on youtube by socialization saves lives. lots of great advice and she takes an approach of letting the cat lead than forcing things on them which has gotten good results for lots of people.

I can’t figure out how to edit my post but that was meant to say try to scritch her cheeks and neck… not wheels

 

[RTR]

Best of luck! Remember cats are not little dogs! They choose when and who they will befriend especially the feral ones!

 

[kouie]

put some soft creamy treat on your fingers so she has to lick it off. feed her turkey by hand. try to stroke her scritches her wheels and neck a little. when she learns to trust your hands and that they can feel good things will move quickly.

watch the videos on youtube by socialization saves lives. lots of great advice and she takes an approach of letting the cat lead than forcing things on them which has gotten good results for lots of people.

I'm slightly traumatized from her biting my finger due to mistaking it for chicken before. She will eat food from my hand if I hold it between my fingers, but won't take it if I place it on my palm. Even if it's cooked chicken. She just takes a sniff and that's all. I tried placing it on the edge of my palm and on the end of my fingers and the same thing happens. I've been feeding her some food from a spoon every day. She will either lick or bite it off the spoon depending on the consistency.


Update:
PROGRESS!! So far I am able to give her a pet using the back of my hand. I've gotten up to two strokes. I associated the word "pet" to the action. Usually she'll let me give her a stroke if she knows she'll get a treat. I would say I get a 5% chance of petting her without treats. When I'm not using treats, I'll ask her "can I pet you?" with my palm up. If she doesn't move, I'll proceed to pet her. I'll know if she declines if she gets up and walks away after asking her with the same palm action.

Something I noticed though. I usually give her a stroke on her right side (starting from neck to mid back). I tried to give her a stroke higher up (the top of her neck/back - spine) and I could tell it freaked her out a bit. Would you say that's a normal reaction in feral cats where they're more cautious of getting touched directly on their back rather than off center?

 

[kouie]

I've had a semi-feral for 6 months and I've recently been able to give her a stroke or two by bribing her with treats. Due to my living situation, I can only keep her in the garage for now. I've noticed her finally bunting objects two months ago. Recently she bunted the corners of my laptop and have even walked across the keyboard and sat directly on it while I'm watching something. Would you say this is a good thing or her being territorial since it may appear that my laptop is a valuable resource?

I'm assuming she sits on the keyboard and stares at me to get my attention so I can play with her or give her a treat. I'm just not sure about the bunting part since she is still wary of her distance from me. She has never rub herself against me. The closest she's gotten was 1 inch away with her back facing me with either her paws tucked in or lying on her side with her belly showing. She'll usually stay like that for 1-5 minutes before getting up and walking away. How would you interpret the reason for her bunting my laptop? If it's a territorial thing, should I be concerned?

 

[pearl99]

Waffles bunts everything- my laptop, the chord to charge it, the computer mouse, the corner of the table, me, other cords, the power strip, the corner of the couch when he's near the laptop- he's marking with scent, or "hanging pictures" like we humans do to make a house a home.

 

[MajorCushman]

How would you interpret the reason for her bunting my laptop? If it's a territorial thing, should I be concerned?

I suspect that Mia is working her way up to bunting you and/or letting you pet her without treat rewards! Cats bunting humans, furniture, or other animals is largely about creating a shared scent. You use your laptop a lot, so she associates it with you, and it probably retains some of your scent. My own cats bunt or rub on objects when they’re soliciting affection (or food). I used to work with shy and fearful cats in a shelter situation, and bunting and rubbing on objects was always been a precursor to allowing me to pet them. I always viewed it as a huge breakthrough.

I’ve read that when cats turn their backs on us, it’s a sign of trust - which makes a lot of sense, given that we use expressions like “I’d watch your back when you’re around that guy” or “she’s OK, but I wouldn’t turn my back on her”. Every time you allow her to remain a short distance away from you, you’re teaching her that being around you is safe. When she’s on your laptop keyboard while you’re watching something, it’s a low-key way for her to spend time with you. None of this is about “territory”. You’ve worked really hard to earn Mia’s trust, and your efforts are paying off.