Most of my life I have had a cat, however never more than one at a time. Our beloved cat died about 2 months ago from cancer at 13 years of age. About three weeks ago, instead of going on vacation, we decided to adopt two cats. We had heard that two cats tend to live longer and healthier lives than solo cats, so wanted to take the plunge.
We ended up adopting two cats from local shelters. One is about three and a half years old, and the other about 7 months. Both are male, and both fixed. The older cat immediately took to my wife in the shelter, and the younger cat with me. As people say, we were adopted by them. The older cat had been an only cat living with a woman, but we were told it was fine with people and other pets. From observing it in the shelter, that did seem to be the case.
We attempted to do all of the recommended socialization steps: Each was in his own room for about 3 days, not visible seeing the other. Then we started trading scents. We did the feeding near closed doors, then cracked doors, then slowly let them interact. This process probably lasted about 7 days, with slowly increasing the number of times a day they were together, and the time spent.
At first it was clear that the younger cat was thrilled to see the older one and wanted to play. The older one wasn't really interested in playing, and would generally try to avoid the other one. There was never any hissing or outright signs of hostility. We did our best to distract them by playing, but that only lasted so long. There was never any hissing or fighting, and I was very optimistic at first. We limited their time together, and things were going very well. The kitten seemed thrilled to have another cat around, and the older cat didn't seem aggressive at all. They were not best friends, but nothing bad was happening.
At some point, perhaps about a week ago, as they got more familiar and we had been letting them spend more time together (but never alone), it seems that the behavior has changed. For one thing, the older cat is exhibiting bouts of possible-FHS. He may be sitting on the floor looking fairly relaxed, when he suddenly will change to a look of agitation: he will stiffen up, ears may go back, his tail may start flicking, and then he may begin growling. Sometimes he will hiss, and attack his tail. It can last anywhere from 5 seconds to 15 seconds. I have not been able to discern any definite triggers. He does it both when he is with the kitten, and when he is not, but it is definitely more pronounced when he is with the kitten. At this point, it generally happens at least 4 to 6 times a day, and seems to be getting worse.
We purchased Feliway, and have had that for two weeks. We also took the older cat to the vet where it exhibited to the same behavior in the vet's presence. After examination (not nearly as thorough as I would have liked...was hoping for blood draw, x-rays, etc...) the vet believes that it is most likely a behavioral issue, most likely triggered by stress. They prescribed Royal Canin Calm food, and it has been 3 days now on that diet, but no notable changes yet. We have done everything we can to reduce territorial issues: they have always had 3 litter boxes, 3 feeding stations, all spread throughout the house. We have a cat tree, and there are multiple other high places we see the cats from time to time. I do not believe access to resources/territory is at issue. I've also been 'allogrooming' them as recommended in a book, to try to share the group scent, and do that twice a day with each cat. That has been going on about 4 or 5 days at this point.
The other issue is that the "playing" has a tendency to get extremely rough, and it appears to me, from watching videos of cats play on YouTube, that it turns from play into aggression, mostly triggered by the older cat. I have noticed a dramatic decrease in the amount of playing that the kitten appears to want to do with the older one. It will from time to time initiate some play, and it is clear they are playing for a few minutes, but that frequently turns into the older one doing the vast majority of the chasing, and frequently when the younger cat is just sitting there, you can tell the older one just wants to bite it. Frequently around the neck area. The older one will not be exhibiting any signs of play during this, and I can visually see and hear that often its nails are out. They will bite each other extremely hard, all over, and it is sometimes hard to separate them. When they are playing I can usually distract them with a toy, but if they get into this more aggressive mode, I usually have to put some physical object between them, like a keyboard, or pillow, and then do my best to separate them. We have never disciplined them but we do quarantine one or the other for at least an hour or so...usually more. I also view it as a sign of them not playing, if after one of these episodes, they seem more pre-occupied with seeking out the other one to re-engage, instead of going off and either playing or some other mellow activity. It is almost always the older one who seems not happy that the aggression ended, and will seek out the younger one to get aggressive again. That is when we definitely put one or both of them in a bedroom, separately.
So far there has been no injuries (at least that I have seen) and they are able to tolerate each other. After times of not seeing each other for a few hours, they will both tend to act like they want to be out of whatever room they are in, and will interact with each other under doors. When we open the doors and let them back together, there is never any sign of aggression. Usually they may smell each other, and then act indifferent. I have seen one very brief rub of the younger one on the older, but that is about it. Never any mutual face rubs or body bumps. We have never left them alone together, as I am not sure if it is safe. At this point, they generally are together perhaps 4 to 6 hours a day, spread across at least three sessions: morning, afternoon, and evening. We have been cutting short the sessions when things get too heated. I am torn, because I read seemingly conflicting advice: some say you have to let cats have some aggression with each other, in order to sort out their rank and status with each other, and if you prevent this, it will make it worse. But I also read that aggression, if let go, and it is not playing, will cause the cats to have negative views of each other that could be permanent.
What is so odd about this is that I have come to refer to their relationship as like that of an abusive spouse: the older one, at times, seems to want to be much more affectionate than the younger one: sometimes when they are both on the cat tree, on different perches, the older one will keep looking intently at the younger one while it is resting, and will try to groom it. The younger one, unless it is very tired, will resist this. This resistance has triggered them biting and slapping at each other, with claws out, at least by the older one. Yet, it also seems clear that the older one doesn't really like, or at least, is experiencing significant anxiety due to the interactions with the younger one. It seems like he loves and hates the younger one. And we cannot tell if he has ever learned how to play. Maybe he thinks he is playing.
He may also be mad that the younger one is seemingly not respecting his status. I know that cats are not exactly like dogs, but I have seen the young one try to eat from his bowl when he is eating, play with the object we are playing with the older cat, and harass him (playfully?) when he is using the litterbox. I do not know if a 7-month old cat is doing this to project his status, or if he is oblivious at that age.
I'm reading two books now, Cat vs Cat and The Cat Whisperer, but neither deal with the subject of introducing two new cats to a new home simultaneously, and even more potentially challenging, while there is an age difference. None of the chapters dealing with status or cat-to-cat aggression discuss scenarios where one of the cats is an adolescent. Living with the stress that one or the other may do serious injury while they are having bouts of serious aggressive wrestling is not good. The older cat just doesn't seem happy, and that makes us unhappy for him. We seem to go back and forth, day by day, as to whether we think we are making progress or not, and if it would be better to find the older cat a new home if possible. We are next going to work on having extremely precise schedules to reduce any uncertainty. And we have a follow-up vet appointment in a week. I don't really want to have to resort to meds, as if it is a case that the older one simply does not enjoy having the other cat around, we think re-homing would be a better choice. But how long to wait before that decision? I know now is too soon, but is 3 months enough? 6 months?
I am hoping someone may have some advice or tips for this scenario. This is my first post. Sorry for the length, but really hoping we can get a happy resolution to this scenario.
Thank you,
William
We ended up adopting two cats from local shelters. One is about three and a half years old, and the other about 7 months. Both are male, and both fixed. The older cat immediately took to my wife in the shelter, and the younger cat with me. As people say, we were adopted by them. The older cat had been an only cat living with a woman, but we were told it was fine with people and other pets. From observing it in the shelter, that did seem to be the case.
We attempted to do all of the recommended socialization steps: Each was in his own room for about 3 days, not visible seeing the other. Then we started trading scents. We did the feeding near closed doors, then cracked doors, then slowly let them interact. This process probably lasted about 7 days, with slowly increasing the number of times a day they were together, and the time spent.
At first it was clear that the younger cat was thrilled to see the older one and wanted to play. The older one wasn't really interested in playing, and would generally try to avoid the other one. There was never any hissing or outright signs of hostility. We did our best to distract them by playing, but that only lasted so long. There was never any hissing or fighting, and I was very optimistic at first. We limited their time together, and things were going very well. The kitten seemed thrilled to have another cat around, and the older cat didn't seem aggressive at all. They were not best friends, but nothing bad was happening.
At some point, perhaps about a week ago, as they got more familiar and we had been letting them spend more time together (but never alone), it seems that the behavior has changed. For one thing, the older cat is exhibiting bouts of possible-FHS. He may be sitting on the floor looking fairly relaxed, when he suddenly will change to a look of agitation: he will stiffen up, ears may go back, his tail may start flicking, and then he may begin growling. Sometimes he will hiss, and attack his tail. It can last anywhere from 5 seconds to 15 seconds. I have not been able to discern any definite triggers. He does it both when he is with the kitten, and when he is not, but it is definitely more pronounced when he is with the kitten. At this point, it generally happens at least 4 to 6 times a day, and seems to be getting worse.
We purchased Feliway, and have had that for two weeks. We also took the older cat to the vet where it exhibited to the same behavior in the vet's presence. After examination (not nearly as thorough as I would have liked...was hoping for blood draw, x-rays, etc...) the vet believes that it is most likely a behavioral issue, most likely triggered by stress. They prescribed Royal Canin Calm food, and it has been 3 days now on that diet, but no notable changes yet. We have done everything we can to reduce territorial issues: they have always had 3 litter boxes, 3 feeding stations, all spread throughout the house. We have a cat tree, and there are multiple other high places we see the cats from time to time. I do not believe access to resources/territory is at issue. I've also been 'allogrooming' them as recommended in a book, to try to share the group scent, and do that twice a day with each cat. That has been going on about 4 or 5 days at this point.
The other issue is that the "playing" has a tendency to get extremely rough, and it appears to me, from watching videos of cats play on YouTube, that it turns from play into aggression, mostly triggered by the older cat. I have noticed a dramatic decrease in the amount of playing that the kitten appears to want to do with the older one. It will from time to time initiate some play, and it is clear they are playing for a few minutes, but that frequently turns into the older one doing the vast majority of the chasing, and frequently when the younger cat is just sitting there, you can tell the older one just wants to bite it. Frequently around the neck area. The older one will not be exhibiting any signs of play during this, and I can visually see and hear that often its nails are out. They will bite each other extremely hard, all over, and it is sometimes hard to separate them. When they are playing I can usually distract them with a toy, but if they get into this more aggressive mode, I usually have to put some physical object between them, like a keyboard, or pillow, and then do my best to separate them. We have never disciplined them but we do quarantine one or the other for at least an hour or so...usually more. I also view it as a sign of them not playing, if after one of these episodes, they seem more pre-occupied with seeking out the other one to re-engage, instead of going off and either playing or some other mellow activity. It is almost always the older one who seems not happy that the aggression ended, and will seek out the younger one to get aggressive again. That is when we definitely put one or both of them in a bedroom, separately.
So far there has been no injuries (at least that I have seen) and they are able to tolerate each other. After times of not seeing each other for a few hours, they will both tend to act like they want to be out of whatever room they are in, and will interact with each other under doors. When we open the doors and let them back together, there is never any sign of aggression. Usually they may smell each other, and then act indifferent. I have seen one very brief rub of the younger one on the older, but that is about it. Never any mutual face rubs or body bumps. We have never left them alone together, as I am not sure if it is safe. At this point, they generally are together perhaps 4 to 6 hours a day, spread across at least three sessions: morning, afternoon, and evening. We have been cutting short the sessions when things get too heated. I am torn, because I read seemingly conflicting advice: some say you have to let cats have some aggression with each other, in order to sort out their rank and status with each other, and if you prevent this, it will make it worse. But I also read that aggression, if let go, and it is not playing, will cause the cats to have negative views of each other that could be permanent.
What is so odd about this is that I have come to refer to their relationship as like that of an abusive spouse: the older one, at times, seems to want to be much more affectionate than the younger one: sometimes when they are both on the cat tree, on different perches, the older one will keep looking intently at the younger one while it is resting, and will try to groom it. The younger one, unless it is very tired, will resist this. This resistance has triggered them biting and slapping at each other, with claws out, at least by the older one. Yet, it also seems clear that the older one doesn't really like, or at least, is experiencing significant anxiety due to the interactions with the younger one. It seems like he loves and hates the younger one. And we cannot tell if he has ever learned how to play. Maybe he thinks he is playing.
He may also be mad that the younger one is seemingly not respecting his status. I know that cats are not exactly like dogs, but I have seen the young one try to eat from his bowl when he is eating, play with the object we are playing with the older cat, and harass him (playfully?) when he is using the litterbox. I do not know if a 7-month old cat is doing this to project his status, or if he is oblivious at that age.
I'm reading two books now, Cat vs Cat and The Cat Whisperer, but neither deal with the subject of introducing two new cats to a new home simultaneously, and even more potentially challenging, while there is an age difference. None of the chapters dealing with status or cat-to-cat aggression discuss scenarios where one of the cats is an adolescent. Living with the stress that one or the other may do serious injury while they are having bouts of serious aggressive wrestling is not good. The older cat just doesn't seem happy, and that makes us unhappy for him. We seem to go back and forth, day by day, as to whether we think we are making progress or not, and if it would be better to find the older cat a new home if possible. We are next going to work on having extremely precise schedules to reduce any uncertainty. And we have a follow-up vet appointment in a week. I don't really want to have to resort to meds, as if it is a case that the older one simply does not enjoy having the other cat around, we think re-homing would be a better choice. But how long to wait before that decision? I know now is too soon, but is 3 months enough? 6 months?
I am hoping someone may have some advice or tips for this scenario. This is my first post. Sorry for the length, but really hoping we can get a happy resolution to this scenario.
Thank you,
William
