Adoption regret

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
After losing my nearly 19 yr old Tuxedo I was devastated and not at all ready to adopt again. I had horrible guilt after euthanizing him and not being able to do more for him. I miss Jimmy, but I soon started to enjoy the fact I didn't have to clean litter anymore or constant vacuuming.
Well, it's been about 3 months and we decided to adopt 2 kittens, brother and sister. They're 3 months old. I have 2 young children (ages 2&4) they are in love with these kittens. They're adorable, playful and adjusting really well. So what's the problem? ME. I regret adopting them. The litter cleaning and smelly wet food are driving me mad. I clean the box 2-3 times a day for the smell. I don't leave wet food out for long to also help with the smell. The boy always has a dirty butt so I have to wipe it. I dread them sitting on my furniture because of the chance of leaving little poop stains. They're due for a checkup with the vet so I'm going to talk to him about the boy not cleaning himself.
It's only been 3 days. I know I need time to adjust as well, but maybe I did the wrong thing here? I was so excited and on board for this adoption but now that they're home and the reality has set in that in addition to my 2 young children, my full-time job, I'm now adding litter cleaning and caring for kittens into the mix. Has anyone ever faced a similar situation? Any advice?
 

karleigh

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
May 13, 2021
Messages
4
Purraise
3
Hi, I wanted to first say sorry for the loss of Tuxedo. I experienced the same thing months ago, I lost my 18 year old cat to health issues and ended up euthanizing. My suggestion is to just wait it out for another week. I think you might just need to adjust to the babies. If you still regret it, I would try to find them a suitable home or take them to a shelter before they become attached to you.
 

Purr-fect

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Apr 20, 2017
Messages
1,843
Purraise
5,563
I wonder if the food your cats are eating is causing the smelly kitty litter. Also if the cat's stool is not firm, the cat can get a messy bottom.

We use two litter boxes for our two very large cats and I clean each box once per day. The boxes almost never smell and their butts, despite being long haired, are very seldom messy. I use cheap kitty litter and it seems to work fine and is never smelly when I clean it.

I also dont leave their wet food out, not because it smells (it doesnt), but because I dont want bacteria forming on it.

I would consider switching their wet food and see if the odor and messy butt situation improves.

There is a great forum on this site called "crossing the bridge". If you havent visited it , you might want to do so. Its filled with lots of wonderful advice on dealing with all the emotions on losing your beloved companion and there are many kind, compassionate members there to help you.
 
Last edited:
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #4

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
I wonder if the food your cats are eating is causing the smelly kitty litter. Also if the cat's stool is not firm, the cat can get a messy bottom.

We use two litter boxes for our two very large cats and I clean each box once per day. The boxes almost never smell and their butts, despite being long haired, are very seldom messy. I use cheap kitty litter and it seems to work fine and is never smelly when I clean it.

I also dont leave their wet food out, not because it smells (it doesnt), but because I dont want bacteria forming on it.

I would consider switching their wet food and see if the odor and messy butt situation improves.

There is a great forum on this site called "crossing the bridge". If you havent visited it , you might want to do so. Its filled with lots of wonderful advice on dealing with all the emotions on losing your beloved companion and there are many kind, compassionate members there to help you.
Hi, I wanted to first say sorry for the loss of Tuxedo. I experienced the same thing months ago, I lost my 18 year old cat to health issues and ended up euthanizing. My suggestion is to just wait it out for another week. I think you might just need to adjust to the babies. If you still regret it, I would try to find them a suitable home or take them to a shelter before they become attached to you.
Thank you. The foster and adoption agency would take them back as per the adoption contract.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #5

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
I wonder if the food your cats are eating is causing the smelly kitty litter. Also if the cat's stool is not firm, the cat can get a messy bottom.

We use two litter boxes for our two very large cats and I clean each box once per day. The boxes almost never smell and their butts, despite being long haired, are very seldom messy. I use cheap kitty litter and it seems to work fine and is never smelly when I clean it.

I also dont leave their wet food out, not because it smells (it doesnt), but because I dont want bacteria forming on it.

I would consider switching their wet food and see if the odor and messy butt situation improves.

There is a great forum on this site called "crossing the bridge". If you havent visited it , you might want to do so. Its filled with lots of wonderful advice on dealing with all the emotions on losing your beloved companion and there are many kind, compassionate members there to help you.
The adoption volunteer said "they aren't picky when it comes to food" they basically gave them whatever food was on hand. So I can imagine that has been doing a number on their little tummies. I kept them on the same dry food and I have them on a wet kitten food they really seem to like. I'm hoping after a week or so adjusting to the food that the smelly poo and dirty butt issue will resolve or maybe it could be the food itself and not just adjusting to it.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,582
Purraise
22,956
Location
Nebraska, USA
Yes, the dirty butt will resolve when they get used to whatever food you are giving them. Get some pet wipes so it is handy for now. As for the food, some smell much better than others, get turkey or chicken and they aren't as bad. I feed chicken and turkey fancy feast with extra gravy and they aren't bad. Friskies has a shredded turkey and cheese that my cats love and there isn't anything left.
You are not alone at all in your worries. You, like cats, do not like change. the loss of your sweet boy was a horrible blow and the guilt and feelings that follow last a long time. It leaves a huge hole in your life and your house.
His love can never be taken from you, the bond you have can never be broken, he will always have a secure place in your heart and soul. You might have subconsciously craved the companionship and love that a cat can offer. Your two little ones fill an empty hole in your life. No, love does not come at once, even affection. It will though, don't do anything rash at the moment. Give it a week or two and allow yourself to enjoy these innocent tiny babies. You have your hands full, that is for sure, but affection and then love will come, believe me. You know that as a mother you can love more than one little being. They are not the same, they never could be, but it is love nonetheless. You can never replace your Tuxedo's love, but you can add right beside it and honor his name by using what he taught you and loving another......
i pray everything goes OK, I think you are just frazzled and need some relaxation time. Remember, 99% of what we worry about DOES NOT HAPPEN, I found that out in my old age. Just live each day as it comes and let tomorrow sort itself out. you are not alone, we will all help you in any way we can.....
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
Yes, the dirty butt will resolve when they get used to whatever food you are giving them. Get some pet wipes so it is handy for now. As for the food, some smell much better than others, get turkey or chicken and they aren't as bad. I feed chicken and turkey fancy feast with extra gravy and they aren't bad. Friskies has a shredded turkey and cheese that my cats love and there isn't anything left.
You are not alone at all in your worries. You, like cats, do not like change. the loss of your sweet boy was a horrible blow and the guilt and feelings that follow last a long time. It leaves a huge hole in your life and your house.
His love can never be taken from you, the bond you have can never be broken, he will always have a secure place in your heart and soul. You might have subconsciously craved the companionship and love that a cat can offer. Your two little ones fill an empty hole in your life. No, love does not come at once, even affection. It will though, don't do anything rash at the moment. Give it a week or two and allow yourself to enjoy these innocent tiny babies. You have your hands full, that is for sure, but affection and then love will come, believe me. You know that as a mother you can love more than one little being. They are not the same, they never could be, but it is love nonetheless. You can never replace your Tuxedo's love, but you can add right beside it and honor his name by using what he taught you and loving another......
i pray everything goes OK, I think you are just frazzled and need some relaxation time. Remember, 99% of what we worry about DOES NOT HAPPEN, I found that out in my old age. Just live each day as it comes and let tomorrow sort itself out. you are not alone, we will all help you in any way we can.....
Your response is the exact reason I love this site so much. You all helped me when I had to make the decision to put Jimmy down and here again I am getting help once more. Thank you. You are 100% right in saying 99% of what we worry about does not happen. This too shall pass...
 

tyleete

Queen of the Crazy
Alpha Cat
Joined
Apr 9, 2016
Messages
329
Purraise
343
Location
Virginia
It can sometimes take longer than a week, as just transitioning food they typically tell you slowly do it. Obviously you weren't handed weeks worth of food from the agency, so had to use what you are. Just wanted to say if it's not resolved super quick, don't be surprised if it takes a little longer. Plus stress can also add to it.
I've got 12 in my home, and there's 10 boxes throughout my house for them all. I typically only sift once daily, and then if one of my IBS cats have an issue, again with that. Also, for a cheaper route, I use baby wipes!:D I know it sounds funny, but with IBS, I'd go broke getting specialty wipes. Due to smell, I use Huggies Natural wipes. No alcohol, no added perfumes. Whenever I have to clean up either barf or wet stool, it's my go to and always cleans perfectly without harming the carpet or furniture. I wish you the best with the two little tykes and hope it all works out!
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #9

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
Having 2 small children I always have baby wipes on hand. I've been wiping their butts a lot and the wipes are always dirty. They both still have diarrhea. I should hear back from vet about test results. We've started letting the kittens roam more freely about our living room area and I've been finding little poop stains. Almost sent me through the roof because often times my kids are playing on the floor. Same thing happened to my husband in our den area where the playroom is. I'm disappointed in myself and really struggling with the idea that I have failed these kittens if I bring them back to the adoption agency, but I don't know if I'll be happy keeping them.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,582
Purraise
22,956
Location
Nebraska, USA
I think their stool needs to be checked to see what is going on, bring a sample into a vet, especially check for Giardia. There is a medicine for that. I can feel your frustration, we have been going through a lot too here, we had a mama cat get killed and it took three days to find her kittens! But all is well now, but I can't seem to lose this anxiety. I would keep them confined until they are over this in a separate room, or a large dog kennel (cheap on Facebook) or a playpen of some sort, that would lessen the spots. maybe just give them hard food for now with plenty of water nearby, you can switch them later. You might have to start out with like a Friskies dry or some other cheap one, I know the expensive, no grain ones always gave my cats diarrhea. I really hope you get this resolved, everything would be easier. You are still not done grieving either, I feel for you.....
 

Sylvia Jones

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
Jun 11, 2019
Messages
471
Purraise
659
Ask you vet about using probiotics for the loose stool You can just sprinkle it on their food or mix with a little water and use a needless syringe to give it Fortaflora took care of problem quickly It can be bought without a prescription I too think you should give yourself a little time for all to adjust Kittens grow and change so quickly I wish I had taken more pictures Would love to see pictures of these babies
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #12

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
I think their stool needs to be checked to see what is going on, bring a sample into a vet, especially check for Giardia. There is a medicine for that. I can feel your frustration, we have been going through a lot too here, we had a mama cat get killed and it took three days to find her kittens! But all is well now, but I can't seem to lose this anxiety. I would keep them confined until they are over this in a separate room, or a large dog kennel (cheap on Facebook) or a playpen of some sort, that would lessen the spots. maybe just give them hard food for now with plenty of water nearby, you can switch them later. You might have to start out with like a Friskies dry or some other cheap one, I know the expensive, no grain ones always gave my cats diarrhea. I really hope you get this resolved, everything would be easier. You are still not done grieving either, I feel for you.....
So they have tested positive for Giardia. It's 3 days of meds then testing feces and more meds and more testing.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #15

EEG

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Feb 8, 2021
Messages
12
Purraise
38
Even knowing what's going on with them and knowing it will resolve .. I'm still feeling this regret. I've lost sleep over it. I'm doing everything for them because I care about them and I want then well taken care of, but I just can't shake this feeling that this isn't their forever home.
The adoption agency says to return them sooner rather than later so they have a stronger chance I'd being adopted while still young. I'd like to see them through their parasite treatment but it's a total of 6 weeks consisting of 2 weight checks and another 3-day dose of meds. I feel so terrible about this whole thing.
 

Flybynight

TCS Member
Alpha Cat
Joined
May 24, 2020
Messages
505
Purraise
556
EEG EEG
There is a thing called puppy blues often talked about in dog forums. Can be the same for people who adopt cats. Early days can be overwhelming especially if an illness and/or other demands on your time such as young children.
The blues period will pass and things get easier but if you do feel in your heart it is not meant to be - then make the transition now as said, easier for them to find a home when small.
 

Krienze

Officially a cat lady now. No regrets.
Super Cat
Joined
Feb 2, 2020
Messages
988
Purraise
1,787
Location
Louisiana
EEG EEG
There is a thing called puppy blues often talked about in dog forums. Can be the same for people who adopt cats. Early days can be overwhelming especially if an illness and/or other demands on your time such as young children.
The blues period will pass and things get easier but if you do feel in your heart it is not meant to be - then make the transition now as said, easier for them to find a home when small.
Yes!!! When I adopted Jasper, Mia and Milo I went through a regret stage and feeling like they shouldn't be with me, etc. Overwhelmed, tired, stressed. As time went by, the feeling went away. I 100% 'Kitty Blues' could be a thing
 
Top