adopting a playmate for shy kitten?

[maebythistime]

my partner and i recently adopted a very shy now 10 week-old kitten who has come out of her shell with us and loves to play but is still very afraid of the world! we have had her for three weeks and have been slowly getting her to trust us, but she shows no interest in exploring further than the bedroom she knows. our goal was to introduce her to playful older cats at my parents and then when my partner and i eventually move out we’ll take the kitten and one of the older cats, but meeting older cats seems like it will just overwhelm the kitten.

we have started to consider adopting another kitten who is more outgoing so she can have a less intimidating playmate to help her be curious. is adopting a rambunctious and confident kitten a good idea or would it cause our current kitten more anxiety?

we are in a place where we can support 2 kittens and would love both of them endlessly, but we want to make sure it is a positive decision for our current kitten!

 

[ArtNJ]

I've never heard of kittens below 6 months not becoming friends. It could take a while, with your kitten being so shy, but its as close to a sure thing as there is when introducing two pets.

All of that said, the kitten does sound *really* shy, and it won't likely speed up the adjustment to you and the house of the shy kitten. Perhaps the opposite. Its probably impossible to screw up kitten + kitten, but it might make it harder for shy kitten to bond with *you* so I'd give some thought to working with the current kitten a bit more first.

Re: the parents cats, we dont generally recommend unnecessary short term cat to cat introductions. Its just something that can cause stress, and not something to do without a pretty compelling reason. This may surprise you, but older cats can get really stressed by tiny kittens, so I'm not talking about just your kitten here. Your kitten may be shy, but its usually the older cat that has the harder time with that intro. Plus, yes, it could add some stress on the already stressed kitten.

 

[maebythistime]

thank you for your insight! it seems like it would be beneficial to adopt another kitten in the next couple months and scrap the idea of moving her out with a playful adult. we are in no rush, she has a bit to go before hitting 6 months!

 

[catapault]

Where are you thinking of getting a second kitten? If from a rescue maybe you could foster to adopt - sort of "borrow" another young kitten. See how the two get along with each other and with you. If all goes well, then adopt the second one. If not, no regrets, the rescue takes it back after a month or so and you can try again with a different kitten.

 

[danteshuman]

I vote getting a second cat now BUT be sure to match activity levels.So if your shy kitten is active, I would look for another active kitten. If your kitten is calm, then look for a calm cat.

I’m not sure if getting a girl or boy would be better. I think a girl might do better.

I have an easily stressed cat that is less stressed when with his brother is around. So a second cat should also help with the moving stress.

 

[rubysmama]

These may be more for adult cats than kittens, but here's a couple TCS articles that might be helpful.

10 Must-know Tips For Happy Living With A Shy Cat – TheCatSite Articles
16 Top Cat Experts Share Tips For Dealing With Timid Cats – TheCatSite Articles

Plus 9 Tips That Will Help Your Kitten Adapt To A New Apartment – TheCatSite Articles

 

[Rhall]

Yes! Give them time to bond. My Calico always had an adjustment period when adding her brothers, but the two boys got along immediately. Ellie was 4 months when Ollie came and they were 7 and 10 months when George came. As you can see (in my pic) they are all buddies now!

 

[Sylvia Jones]

I believe strongly that two kittens are best for the cats and humans. I would try to get a kitten the same age or at least size. It may seem counterintuitive but I think another shy kitten would be best. That way they will gently approach each other and neither will be overwhelmed. The shy one in a litter is usually easy to spot if you just observe for a bit. Would love to see a picture of your little one!

 

[Father of furbabies]

I would recommend giving the kitten more time. 3 weeks is a rush for an adult to adjust and it might take longer for the kitten, especially a shy one. If you have adult cats already and plan to adopt another kitten, take into consideration how that will impact on the adult cats while you are staying with your parents.

 

[flybear]

I am strong proponent for having more than one cat for a multitude of reasons but this works best if cats and kittens are introduced when they are young AND fixed early ... I foster cats and and have a few myself and I do think shy kittens benefit from having other kittens around. Not just because they might become more bold ( usually a shy cat remains on the shy side - it is often personality ...) but because having another kitten who enjoys humans more can take the pressure off the shy cat and cause less stress for everyone. Plus kittens do love to play with other kittens and exercise each other. One of my cats is only sweet and cuddly with a few family members and hides when there is too much commotion - others are brave or playful. Some enjoy laps and others prefer to bond through play only ... I can let every one of my cats be themselves and have no desire to train a cat who doesn't enjoy laps to cuddle - I appreciate each of them how they are- my needs are met and so are my cats. My cats seem very happy with each other ... they sleep and cuddle and play and generally accept newcomers easily as long as they are not aggressive or overly dominant. Multiple cat households do require lots of litterboxes, food and water stations though as well as multiple cat trees or spaces to hide and get out of each others way. Introduce kittens carefully ... we use a bathroom and do not allow the cats to see each other for a few days ... they usually start playing under the door - pat a paw ... then we swap territories - but newcomers don't get officially released full time into the cat room for a few weeks until there is no more hissing and spitting and the body language of everyone involved is relaxed. I just raised a little rescue and he used to be very independent and playful and not at all cuddly ... I accepted that and never forced the issue and - this week ... he suddenly decided to become a velcro cat who likes to cuddle ... a LOT ! ... Cats come in all kinds of personalities ... and some just take a while to trust... Shy cats are much easier than overly bold or wild ones ... I prefer the careful souls ...

 

[maggie101]

my partner and i recently adopted a very shy now 10 week-old kitten who has come out of her shell with us and loves to play but is still very afraid of the world! we have had her for three weeks and have been slowly getting her to trust us, but she shows no interest in exploring further than the bedroom she knows. our goal was to introduce her to playful older cats at my parents and then when my partner and i eventually move out we’ll take the kitten and one of the older cats, but meeting older cats seems like it will just overwhelm the kitten.

we have started to consider adopting another kitten who is more outgoing so she can have a less intimidating playmate to help her be curious. is adopting a rambunctious and confident kitten a good idea or would it cause our current kitten more anxiety?

we are in a place where we can support 2 kittens and would love both of them endlessly, but we want to make sure it is a positive decision for our current kitten!

I agree wait til she is comfortable with you then adopt a kitten. When I rescued Coco she stayed in my bedroom for a year. Never hisses or growls. She is still afraid of my cat Maggie. Maggie does growl at her. She is bigger in size. Taller and longer. I think that's one reason my cats dont like her chasing them for fun. So a kitten would be best from a foster so you can be sure the cats good with other cats. I so want to foster but shouldnt because of Maggie

 

[maebythistime]

well, it has been a whirlwind of a week! don’t worry, it has a happy ending! we went in to adopting another kitten in no rush—adopting our shy kitten, maeby, was an arduous process! 3 separate times we were told we were first in line for a kitten, only to have them be adopted out to someone else. we finally just went to the shelter and picked maeby!
so anyway, we went in thinking this would take a while. we sent in a couple applications to organizations just generally discussing what we were looking for, a well-socialized and confident 10 week old kitten! (no organizations do foster—>adopt kittens around here, especially for kittens in a foster with their litter! and we wanted as socialized with other kittens as possible) and in 30 minutes somehow we had a response from an organization and one of their fosters gushing about the absolute perfect kitten for us and maeby. we met the new kitten on facetime and went to pick her up the next day.

now, i have a bit of a bone to pick with available resources on introducing kittens, that is to say there are not enough! there are three youtube videos and they all say the same thing—let them be together rather quickly as the younger they are, the quickest they’ll take to their new buddy. this went against everything i have ever heard and practiced about introducing cats, but these videos (primarily from kittenlady!), advice from the foster, and lack of written instructions made us decide to introduce them pretty quickly.
the first couple days they were very wary of each other, i could tell the new kitty (juno) just wanted to play but maeby didn’t want her to approach. there was no aggression, just hissing and grumbling. the third day they touched noses for the first time and from then on they have been great. juno has really unlocked a new level of maeby’s personality; she loves to play so much more! she is a little drama queen—she does little yowls when shes playing with juno even though they are definitely mutually playing! there is a bit of a size difference but they go at each other equally, theres no hiding, and ears are up!
maeby is now completely confident in her primary room, she doesnt run when approached, she walks through the middle of the room, and shes actually interested in leaving the room!

both girls have explored the whole house while supervised now and maeby walks around like she owns the place. she still doesnt love loud noises or being approached too fast but thats typical cat behavior and much more confident than before.
of course maeby might just have needed more time but i really have to credit juno for instilling some confidence in maeby. we are also really happy to have gotten another kitten for maeby to play with, since she loves playing so much! and we love juno so much, we have definitely been able to bond with both of them and they love to curl up with us and watch the birds after a rambunctious couple of hours.

tldr; ended up with a new kitten sooner than we were planning, they are both great for each other and getting along fantastically!

 

[Sylvia Jones]

Perfect! So happy for your beautiful family

 

[rubysmama]

Oh, that's wonderful news! Sounds like everything is going purr-fectly.

As for kitten introduction resources, I think it's just that typically, young kittens become friends so quickly that step by step instructions aren't really necessary. I would imagine, though, if there were a case where the introductions weren't going well, you'd simply follow the cat to cat, or kitten to cat, introduction recommendations, and tweak them to your own situation.

You don't need them, but in case anyone reading this now, or in the future, is looking for help, I'll post the two TCS introduction articles. But again, your feline babies seem to be doing fine. They're adorable, btw.

How To Successfully Introduce Cats: The Ultimate Guide | TheCatSite
How To Introduce A Kitten To An Older Cat | TheCatSite

 

[feralSuki]

I'm glad Maeby has come out of her shell! I have been considering getting another kitten, as I recently brought home a shy feral kitten. I've read a lot about how this may be a really good idea for my baby. I haven't decided yet but I'm so glad this worked out for you guys!

 

[ArtNJ]

Awesome!

Any guides on kitten vs kitten introductions would be much ado about nothing. Kitten plus kitten is impossible to screw up, they essentially always become friends. It is prudent to start a new kitten in a "safe room" for a few days so they don't hide behind/under an appliance (some start quite scared regardless of how they seem in the shelter) but it generally works out ok even if that step is skipped.

 

[maebythistime]

As for kitten introduction resources, I think it's just that typically, young kittens become friends so quickly that step by step instructions aren't really necessary.

Any guides on kitten vs kitten introductions would be much ado about nothing. Kitten plus kitten is impossible to screw up, they essentially always become friends. It is prudent to start a new kitten in a "safe room" for a few days so they don't hide behind/under an appliance (some start quite scared regardless of how they seem in the shelter) but it generally works out ok even if that step is skipped.

that makes a lot of sense! it can be so tempting to want a step by step guide but at the root of it, all kittens are individuals. we were fortunate to not have any aggression at the start. thank you both for your comments!

I have been considering getting another kitten, as I recently brought home a shy feral kitten. I've read a lot about how this may be a really good idea for my baby. I haven't decided yet but I'm so glad this worked out for you guys!

keep me posted! we definitely had a positive experience really quickly, but of course wouldn't have blamed our shy kitty at all if it took more time to warm up!

 

[Rhall]

I have done it both ways. My calico took a bit of time to warm up to her brothers so we did take our time. When George arrived, we kept him separate for 24 hours and then showed them to each other through a baby gate. Ollie went right up to the gate and put his nose through to George. He took to him right away. We tried putting them together and Ollie was a big brother from the start. I'm sure it's not that way for everyone but I found for those two I didn't need the big introduction. Ellie still took her time with George, and he respected her space so they also became great friends. Pic below a couple weeks after George arrived.
.

 

[feralSuki]

that makes a lot of sense! it can be so tempting to want a step by step guide but at the root of it, all kittens are individuals. we were fortunate to not have any aggression at the start. thank you both for your comments!



keep me posted! we definitely had a positive experience really quickly, but of course wouldn't have blamed our shy kitty at all if it took more time to warm up!

Tomorrow I will be picking up our second kitten! I think my shy kitten will be so happy to have a friend! I'm so excited

 

[Sylvia Jones]

Can’t wait to hear how it goes!