- Joined
- Nov 28, 2020
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I adopted a 4 year old cat a week ago from a shelter and it’s been really rough on my mental health so far. She has stayed hidden under the bed most of the week and only comes out to eat/use the litter box. She is confined to my bedroom right now as a safe space and will come out of the bed to explore at night or when she thinks I’m asleep in the bed. She will eat treats if I drop them close to her and will smell my hand if I bring it close to her but she will not let me touch her. She will play for a few seconds but go right back to sleep, she is not afraid of me clearly but shows no interest in me either.
She comes from a bad situation, her owner abandoned her in her carrier and then she moved a couple of shelters before ending up in a foster home where she seemed to adjust quickly before coming with me. Everyone says I should just leave her alone and let her adjust to the surroundings herself. The foster parent said I should spend as much time as I can just sitting next to her so she knows I’m safe. I’ve been doing that all week and she seems comfortable enough to go to sleep when I’m sitting next to her but never curious enough to come sniff me or anything. On the contrary, she will turn away from me and go to sleep.
All I’ve been doing is worry - I worry that she’s not comfortable under the bed; her foster parent said she doesn’t like being left alone for too long so I worry that when I’m just ignoring her she resents me more. But I find it difficult to just sit next her on the floor and see her butt go to sleep, it makes me very sad. I worry that I didn’t make the right decision in adopting her and she would be much happier living with someone who knows how to deal with pets. Let me be clear though, I’m not going to return her to the shelter - she is my cat.
I know I just need to give it time but this is my first pet and this wasn’t how I thought it’d be. It would be one thing if she was just afraid of me but this cat seems to have gotten comfortable under the bed, getting her food and water and not wanting to socialize. It also feels like an invasion of space; my room is not my safe space anymore - its her safe space.
I just want to know if anyone’s been through this - this anxiety. I’ve been crying all week and I just want to know how to get past this feeling of intense sadness. I’m willing to give her as much as she wants but I want to know how to compartmentalize her in my brain so I can function normally.
She comes from a bad situation, her owner abandoned her in her carrier and then she moved a couple of shelters before ending up in a foster home where she seemed to adjust quickly before coming with me. Everyone says I should just leave her alone and let her adjust to the surroundings herself. The foster parent said I should spend as much time as I can just sitting next to her so she knows I’m safe. I’ve been doing that all week and she seems comfortable enough to go to sleep when I’m sitting next to her but never curious enough to come sniff me or anything. On the contrary, she will turn away from me and go to sleep.
All I’ve been doing is worry - I worry that she’s not comfortable under the bed; her foster parent said she doesn’t like being left alone for too long so I worry that when I’m just ignoring her she resents me more. But I find it difficult to just sit next her on the floor and see her butt go to sleep, it makes me very sad. I worry that I didn’t make the right decision in adopting her and she would be much happier living with someone who knows how to deal with pets. Let me be clear though, I’m not going to return her to the shelter - she is my cat.
I know I just need to give it time but this is my first pet and this wasn’t how I thought it’d be. It would be one thing if she was just afraid of me but this cat seems to have gotten comfortable under the bed, getting her food and water and not wanting to socialize. It also feels like an invasion of space; my room is not my safe space anymore - its her safe space.
I just want to know if anyone’s been through this - this anxiety. I’ve been crying all week and I just want to know how to get past this feeling of intense sadness. I’m willing to give her as much as she wants but I want to know how to compartmentalize her in my brain so I can function normally.