Adopted new cat who is difficult to play with + play aggression.

[Alythra]

I adopted a cat about 1.5 months ago - a 3 year old boy who, for the most part, is a great cat.

My only struggle with him now seems to be dealing with his high energy + play aggression. I play with him at consistent play times 4x a day between 15-20 minutes each. He loves to chase his wand toy around the house at top speed so I do my best to really run and make the wand difficult for him to catch. The only issue is... this doesn't seem to be enough play. He also gets bored of his wand attachments VERY fast. I've seen him get bored of a feather attachment in 2 days, and then he got excited over a hair scrunchy attachment for about a week and then got bored. And when he's bored, he just lays there and stares at me while I am running around corners like a maniac trying to get him interested.

He doesn't self play. No response to ball on track toys, catnip, an assortment of balls, little small mouse plushies, springs, automatic rolling balls, hexbugs. He got bored of his automatic moving feather toy (this one on Amazon). No interest in CatTV videos on youtube or any type of cat game on ipad. He barely glances out the window when on his cat tree.

He's only obsessed with meowing at me to play with him. And when I don't play with him either because it is not a scheduled play time, or I stop because he had zero response to my efforts to play because he is apparently bored of ALL his wand attachments, he sometimes gets frustrated and will get into this 'zone' where he seems intent on grabbing for any part of me with his paws and will continuously bite. I will yell "ow" really loudly and then ignore him for a bit afterwards to try and teach him that this doens't work, but he doesn't seem to be getting the message yet. Normally when i see this coming, I am able to pull away before he can cause any damage, but the most recent incident happened when he was laying down next to me on my bed and I was not facing him, so I could not stop him. He lunged for my arm to bite, and he got me really good with his claws.

I am frustrated, and I don't know if this means I am not the right owner for him. Please help!

 

[Kris107]

Well, first, I think you ARE the right owner. The fact that you are willing to play with him, find toys he likes, and that you are paying attention to his ways of communicating... That's wonderful. Others could just write him off as "too much" and give up. Often times, cats+people play is some of the best. My cats will play by themselves (or each other) but usually prefers husband doing cat wand with one and the other likes me and throwing a puffy in the air over the bed. It's bonding. It's playing with their bestie. But yes... cats are fickle and easily bored. Rotate the toys. Get creative. Sometimes the best toys are non-toys. Crumpled paper? A toilet paper roll? A toy in an empty egg carton? A ribbon? Perhaps build a cardboard box fort and do the wand game around it? Does he have any kicker toys? Him getting wound up (by frustration or overstim) makes me wonder if he doesn't just want/need a good wrestle. Obviously, no wrestling with hands, but perhaps a kicker toy? Just be careful to make sure you start the kicker toy wrestle - not reward him after he tackles you. I know I'm throwing a lot out there and others will chime in too, but I think you're doing the right things and don't want you to feel too discouraged.

 

[Alythra]

Well, first, I think you ARE the right owner. The fact that you are willing to play with him, find toys he likes, and that you are paying attention to his ways of communicating... That's wonderful. Others could just write him off as "too much" and give up. Often times, cats+people play is some of the best. My cats will play by themselves (or each other) but usually prefers husband doing cat wand with one and the other likes me and throwing a puffy in the air over the bed. It's bonding. It's playing with their bestie. But yes... cats are fickle and easily bored. Rotate the toys. Get creative. Sometimes the best toys are non-toys. Crumpled paper? A toilet paper roll? A toy in an empty egg carton? A ribbon? Perhaps build a cardboard box fort and do the wand game around it? Does he have any kicker toys? Him getting wound up (by frustration or overstim) makes me wonder if he doesn't just want/need a good wrestle. Obviously, no wrestling with hands, but perhaps a kicker toy? Just be careful to make sure you start the kicker toy wrestle - not reward him after he tackles you. I know I'm throwing a lot out there and others will chime in too, but I think you're doing the right things and don't want you to feel too discouraged.

Thanks for responding! I am trying so hard to make this work, but I have become a ball of anxiety recently.

I have tried to see if he would engage with random objects. I've tried throwing bottle caps, q-tips, crumbled pieces of paper across the room/ down the hallway, and that got zero response from him. I've tried clicker training as well, but he isn't the most food motivated cat so if he doesnt get his treat after a while because he hasn't done the action, he simply walks away. But I'll give the toilet paper roll a go because I'll try anything at this point!

He does have two kicker toys at the moment that he uses once in a blue moon. He definitely isn't as into them as when he first saw them.

I think my fear is that he enjoys hunting and chasing the wand down so much that he can't enjoy anything else.

 

[Kris107]

What part of the play seems to excite him the most? Does he like to hunt/stalk/pounce? So does the toy have to "pause" so he can attack? Or does he like it if the "lure" goes behind something so it's partially obscured? Or does he just go all out with no real rhyme or reason?

 

[Alythra]

What part of the play seems to excite him the most? Does he like to hunt/stalk/pounce? So does the toy have to "pause" so he can attack? Or does he like it if the "lure" goes behind something so it's partially obscured? Or does he just go all out with no real rhyme or reason?

I think its definitely the chase for him. He does stalk but it is only a sometimes thing. I've tried all types of movements with the wands - flying, dangling, hiding it behind objects and in crevices of random items in the living room, moving like a mouse with a move/ twitch around a little, then stop, and move again type of pattern. He sometimes is interested, and he sometimes isn't. I've literally had times where I am making the wand move in all sorts of ways across all surfaces in the living room (under furniture, across and over the couches, on top of the coffee table, throwing the lure into his cat tunnel), and he just sits there and either stares at me bored, or he's just looking at some random location. He's a tough cat to please.

In the beginning he stalked a lot though, and turning the lure around a corner so that it goes out of sight is enough to trigger him to run and pounce. Now it works maybe 40% of the time. I have to find ways to continuously make it interesting for him. So now what triggers his interest is me making a lot of noise with the lure by swinging it really fast and loudly back and forth into the side of the couch and the wall. And then when I have his attention and I notice he is really invested, then i quickly run with the wand around the corner and into a bedroom where he will chase at top speeds around the room a few times while I make the lure just out of reach. But while this is working, I do also notice that it is starting to become less interesting to him as well.

 

[Kris107]

Wow! Again, this is wonderful that you play like this with him and are so invested. You probably have tried, but a laser pointer? When he bites and you yelp, does he think it's a game when you pull your arm away? Does he hate the volume/sound you're making? I feel like the biting is the main negative here but it takes a cat a while to learn your boundaries and rules. Just stay consistent. Same with the meowing - no reaction. My cats pretty much think I'm deaf. Aside from those things is he sweet or ?

 

[PushPurrCatPaws]

I think its definitely the chase for him. He does stalk but it is only a sometimes thing. ... He's a tough cat to please.

In the beginning he stalked a lot though, and turning the lure around a corner so that it goes out of sight is enough to trigger him to run and pounce. Now it works maybe 40% of the time. I have to find ways to continuously make it interesting for him. So now what triggers his interest is me making a lot of noise with the lure by swinging it really fast and loudly back and forth into the side of the couch and the wall. And then when I have his attention and I notice he is really invested, then i quickly run with the wand around the corner and into a bedroom where he will chase at top speeds around the room a few times while I make the lure just out of reach. But while this is working, I do also notice that it is starting to become less interesting to him as well.

I can tell by how your cat likes to stalk things that disappear that maybe he could be attracted to some of the stalking ways we create. When our cat gets bored, we "Go Small". By that, I mean we put a much smaller "lure" on the end of the wand toy... or we even remove the wand toy altogether by cutting it off — leaving only the black, small string as a lure. Our cat loves chasing the "small", less visible black string. Plus, we have taken out DaBird feathers, leaving only the cleaned-out red rubber cap, still attached to the wand toy, as a lure. She loves chasing that smaller item, too.

I commend you on how hard you try to occupy him with play! Wow! You go above and beyond, kudoes to you! Give the "Going Small" idea a try; see if chasing a tiny lure helps activate him.

 

[Alythra]

Wow! Again, this is wonderful that you play like this with him and are so invested. You probably have tried, but a laser pointer? When he bites and you yelp, does he think it's a game when you pull your arm away? Does he hate the volume/sound you're making? I feel like the biting is the main negative here but it takes a cat a while to learn your boundaries and rules. Just stay consistent. Same with the meowing - no reaction. My cats pretty much think I'm deaf. Aside from those things is he sweet or ?

Oh riiight yes the laser pointer! I have tried that. He's a weirdo. He chirps at it like when he sees a bird, and he appears interested, but he might give a small chase and then act uninterested LOL. I really can't figure him out because it seems most cats go crazy over the laser pointer.

I've been trying to do a lot of research online about the biting and really reflecting on what i think is the cause. And now that I think back on his behavior prior to his bites, I'm starting to question if its actually play aggression.

I've noticed so far that his warning bites are suuuper gentle. Whereas the ones that I thought were from play aggression are quite hard and sometimes hurts. It kind of appears like he gets into some sort of 'zone' where he is obsessed with wanting to bite something and its unprovoked. Like for example he can just be chilling in his cat tree or on my bed, and I just happen to be next to him minding my own business and not petting him, and he suddenly feels this strong urge to grab at me with his paws and continuously bite me. It's never one bite - when I try to pull away he wants to latch on and really keep biting. Thankfully he's never punctured skin with his teeth, but he has one time lunged for my arm hard enough with his paws that he scratched me really good.

 

[Alythra]

I can tell by how your cat likes to stalk things that disappear that maybe he could be attracted to some of the stalking ways we create. When our cat gets bored, we "Go Small". By that, I mean we put a much smaller "lure" on the end of the wand toy... or we even remove the wand toy altogether by cutting it off — leaving only the black, small string as a lure. Our cat loves chasing the "small", less visible black string. Plus, we have taken out DaBird feathers, leaving only the cleaned-out red rubber cap, still attached to the wand toy, as a lure. She loves chasing that smaller item, too.

I commend you on how hard you try to occupy him with play! Wow! You go above and beyond, kudoes to you! Give the "Going Small" idea a try; see if chasing a tiny lure helps activate him.

I do notice that sometimes he has an interest in just the little clip at the end of the fishing line. I'll for sure give that a go! I'll try to get creative as well and see if there are some other random small household objects I can potentially stick on there. Thank you for the idea!!

 

[Kris107]

And don't stress if you can't engage him. Cats do their own thing. Of course, that also means after you quit is when he'll decide he wants to play. My cats have ways to let me know they want to play without being loud or obnoxious.

I've had some cats who randomly do an "attack" but again, I just make it really clear it wasn't okay. It is more rare now.

 

[JAL57]

I agree that you shouldn’t question if you’re the right human for him. Some people basically treat their cats like pet rocks — thinking that because cats aren’t dogs, they don’t require play and maintenance. Those people would be the wrong humans for this cat. You sound like you’re committed to caring for him properly.

Every cat is different so it’s really trial and error. One of my cats was bitey and scratchy as a kitten; I always had kicker toys handy and just shoved the kicker toy into her arms whenever she went after me. She learned.

Some things that have worked with my cats:

Cat shelves, lots of them, combined with cat trees to form elevated runways snaking around the room.

Bird feeder at an open window (but two layers of screens for safety), which engages their prey drive and never seems to frustrate them.

Satellite balls (you can get them on Amazon) thrown across the floors for them to chase.

Jackson Galaxy air prey wand toy (also available on Amazon).

A fake peacock feather. I got this from a local pet store but you can probably find them online.

And their favorite — spools of shiny and brightly colored lanyard. I never ever cut the lanyard free from the spool for fear they’d swallow it, and I never leave them access to the lanyard unsupervised. But they love to chase the lanyard across the ground and through the air, gnawing on it when they catch it.

Good luck!

 

[Alldara]

Have you tried getting him a kicker toy to wrestle? you'll still need to play it with him, to keep it exciting but it does very much help to get the wrestle energy out.

 

[game misconduct]

just accept that you are the best toy also seems like its time for yo.u to designate a toy box or drawer in your house and begin buying new toys off amazon or anytime your near the petstore. dont worry they add up fast pretty soon you can just alternate the toys by stashing one you feel he is bored off and pull out one he got bored of( he will think its a new toy). as for the self playing i have found a live bug is what graycie likes bestshe will eat them to. i buy live crickets as feeders for my tarantulas and allow one or two to escape at times. but i also used to have an empty plastic jar that was vented that i used to put a live cricket into for her to swat all over until gf banned it.