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It's been a week since I posted this and since then I've tried to take an objective view of how she eats. She does eat wet food. She doesn't eat much but she will eat it. I think if the second cat weren't coming along eventually and sucking up her left overs, she might eat all that I give her. But she doesn't understand mealtimes so she eats what she can when I give them breakfast and supper. Then she has dry when she wants. I usually hear her eating that in the middle of the night.I don't know if this helps with your anxiety at all, but this is my journey so far:
We used to have a BIG metal bowl of Iams that was available 24/7 to our 2 cats.
Loki (ginger boy) would nibble on them if he was hungry before mealtimes.
Moxxi (tortie girl) was a dry food fiend.
Then (for health reasons covered in other threads) I totally removed the bowl of Iams and stopped feeding them any Iams at all. They were both put on 100% commercial wet food.
Moxxi was not impressed in the least.
Now I would like to state here that what I did was totally the wrong way to do it, and if I had to do it again would definitely make the change a gradual one, but what's done is done and she still loves me.
Moxxi lost her excess chub (I didn't even realise that she was overweight) and is happily eating wet food and is chock full of energy. She is 9 years old and 2 nights ago had an hour long zoomies session all over the house. Nutty girl.
The other issue I have is wet or dry - if she eats too fast, she throws it up. I feel so bad for her. I think she is trying! I'm going to try not to stress her out and myself. She eats. Period. I will keep working with her but just be happy she is eating.