adding another kitty after one passes

mnm

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My heart is jumping all over the place about a decision to get another kitty.
Min has been gone since Sept 6. She was a black/white tuxedo (profile) She was just shy of being 10. Mikki, her littermate and sister (gray/white tuxedo)struggled with grief for awhile..her personality has definitely changed but kinda in a good way as she now cuddles with me.. she used to be only a daddy's girl since Min was close to me. Mikki is a mellow cat.. she still howls at least once in the middle of the night but it's soooo much better..it coul be just habit now..but initially it was due to no Minnie.

Someone showed me a rescue site on facebook... 2 kittens named Mickey and Mini... they both were black/white tuxes...look just like the Minnie we just lost.
It was just so "strange" and tugged at my heart. Well, the lil boy kitty Mickey was just adopted... I felt sad someone didn't take both, however... guess what..the leaves Mini. If I could see the future and know this would BENEFIT Mikki I would take this lil Mini in a heart beat! I'm just so nervous about it though. Especially since she's a kitten...would that be fair to Mikki...or would it be easier for her to get to know a kitten rather than another older cat that might seem more threatning to her? AAAACK...I hate it when this all seems just too coincidental that they were named the same and look alike!!! Tugs at the heart strings!!
 

libertybella

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Ah. This is a difficult situation. Since Mikki seems to have been close with the other cat, she probably wouldn't have a tough time with the kitten. Its hard to say when/if cats stop grieving, but I think as long as you separate them at first, then allow Mikki to come to the kitten (rather than vice versa) Mikki and the kitten will be fine in a matter of time. However it is hard to say since I don't know Mikki's personality (as some cats are very picky with other cats being introduced.)

All of this being said, I think ultimately it is best for you to use your judgement. The fact that Mikki and Min got along is positive sign.

Just use your judgement and try to decide whether or not you think that Mikki will be docile enough and it won't stress her out too much.

Rescuing strays is a beautiful thing. I think they'll do just fine if you make sure that Mikki is able to assert her dominance.
 
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mnm

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nods... yes it is difficult... I appreciate your input. After losing Min I thought I would NEVER take on another cat... just for the selfish reason of I don't want to deal with any health issues or heartaches again!! Another thing..we're in our mid 50's and a cat "should" "could" live 20 years! Hopefully we'd still be fit enough to care for them then..but ya never know...
 

jcat

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I hate to say this, but we now have orders at our shelter not to adopt to people who have grieving senior cats because too many of them reject the new cat or kitten.

It can work out, but often doesn't, and the new cat has then been subjected to the stress of trying to adapt to, then losing, a new home.

I think it would make a difference if the new cat were at a "kill" shelter, though.
 

kmd

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We waited six weeks after the death of our tuxedo cat, Elmo, to adopt again. At the time, it seemed too soon and too early in our grief. But the thought we would be helping two cats, the one we were adopting and the foster spot opening up when we adopted, made us go ahead. However, early as it was, I think it helped us heal after Elmo's loss.

Georgie, who would have been 13 at the time, had a fit when new tortie Venus came to the house. Venus was a year and a half old. But truthfully, I think Georgie would have objected to any cat any age coming and I am not convinced it was a grieving issue. It led to a highly stressful 6 months for all as Georgie lashed out at Venus. However, here we are 3 years later and they get along great now. It was actually Venus who extended a paw a friendship to Georgie.

To me, some of it has to do with personalities, Elmo was always curious about other cats, as Venus is. Georgie always bowed up and saw other cats as a threat to her attention.
 

di and bob

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Any time the dynamics in a cat household change there are upheavals and a stressful adjustment time. Can it be done? With much patience and an understanding of cat behavior, you bet. I myself have always had good luck with bringing TWO kittens into a household with an established cat. The kittens play and take their incredible energy out on each other and bring entertainment to the older cat (while leaving them alone).The older cat is someone the kittens can learn from, and I truly think the older cat gets enjoyment out of the new vitality the kittens bring. Despite their reservations, the older cat gains companionship and new experiences to end their dwelling on what they lost. Young kittens are almost always accepted into the household eventually, they have no fear and have not had time yet to develop mistrust and social hierarchy, so are more likely to learn what the older cat needs to teach them to be acceptable in the household (and accepted by the older cat). I found that even if the older cat doesn't accept them, they offer a distraction and welcome relief from boredom and loneliness. I know how badly the loss of your Min affected you, I would urge you to go with your feelings and open your heart to a new love, do it in her name and I know with her blessing. Good luck in whatever you decide, my thoughts and prayers with you!
 
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mnm

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just wanted to thank y'all for your responses..it does help!
 
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