Abondoned my orange tabby and now I want her back

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ajju711

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Hello experts. Need your help!
I was maintaining a semi feral orange tabby from the past 5 months. She was the sweetest cat I ever came across and craved human touch and attention. In fact, when I felt down & out and it showed on my face, she, as if on cue, used to come and sit on my lap.

In between she gave birth to a kitten and she stayed in our garage for a while and was gone for a few days. She then returned all by herself (without the kitten) and we kind of formally adopted her. And it was pure bliss to have her home. But it was apparently straining my relation with wifey (she is a bit of the jealous kind) and I had to literally throw her away in the middle of the night. But the loving soul that she was, she waited at the doorway the entire night in the freezing cold.So the next morning I pleaded with wifey to have her back but she was having none of it. So it was decided that I'll drop the cat off without her getting a hint of the trail.

A friend of mine advised me to lock her up in a cage with a very narrow slit for air and then drop her somewhere far off. Which I did. Traveled almost 12 miles into a semi rural community and dropped her off at a hairpin bend on a small mountainous road. This happened a week back. But I missed her so much that I drove this Saturday and Sunday to the same spot and tried calling for her. Unsurprisingly she was no where to be found. I don't think I can get her back but I am planning on getting something similar. By the way do you have a bag of tricks I can try to find her? I don't have much hope but I'm willing to take a chance

I've done my research and asked a few friends and they've all suggested that if I am looking for a cat with a warm personality, then Bengal and orange tabbies (are they the same?) are my best bet. White cats are a bit aloof is what I've heard. What kind of cat should I be looking at? The internet apparently agrees with what they are saying. Are white cats relatively more aloof than the rest? Are orange tabbies more talkative and enjoy attention from humans?

Since I don't think I can find the original, I'm lookin at something that will be almost like her. Does color have any bearing on the demeanor of a cat?
 

Willowy

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Have you worked this out with your wife? Will she make you abandon another cat?

No decent breeder or shelter will sell or adopt a cat to someone who was so cruel to another cat, so I suppose your best bet is to find another street cat and attempt to gain their trust, and not betray that cat.

Color doesn't really have much to do with personality, although everybody has their theories.
 

kittyluv387

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Okay....before you decide to get another cat you need to seriously deal with your wife first. She sounds controlling and manipulative. Jealous of an animal receiving attention from you? That's ridiculous. And also, how could you just abandon your cat like that? What a terrible thing to do. Imagine how confused and scared she must have felt when you, her trusted dad dropped her off at a strange place. I hope she is well and alive but you don't deserve her or another cat right now. Unless your wife changes (hint: people don't) or you divorce your wife you really have no business trying to get a pet cat.
 

FeebysOwner

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Hi. If you really want her back, you could put flyers (do you have any pictures?) up in the area you dropped her and notify local vet offices, rescue centers/shelters, ASPCA, even Facebook, Lost/Found Animal web sites. You could even go door-to-door around the area you dropped her at. You would have to keep going back daily and spending time, as well as continually following up with the places you notified about her. Under the circumstances, you should spend a lot of time in that area calling to her and shaking cans/bags of food or treats, and stay in one place for a while to give her a chance to hear you and come.

I hope you find her. I also hope you have resolved whatever issues you had to correct at home. If not, still try to find her and if she hasn't been 'adopted' by someone else, do the right thing and work with a rescue center to have her looked over, checked out, and placed in a proper adoption set up.

Coloring has no bearing on the demeanor of a cat.
 
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CatLover49

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Okay....before you decide to get another cat you need to seriously deal with your wife first. She sounds controlling and manipulative. Jealous of an animal receiving attention from you? That's ridiculous. And also, how could you just abandon your cat like that? What a terrible thing to do. Imagine how confused and scared she must have felt when you, her trusted dad dropped her off at a strange place. I hope she is well and alive but you don't deserve her or another cat right now. Unless your wife changes (hint: people don't) or you divorce your wife you really have no business trying to get a pet cat.
EXACTLY
 
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ajju711

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I'm really sorry I made a whole bunch of you angry. But I wouldn't be posting this and asking for advice had I been the monster that some of you think I am. Please don't be so hard on me. I am genuinely sad and I wrote this hoping for hints on finding the cat (if possible) or at least getting another one, who'd be hopefully similar to her

I've worked out everything this time. My friend is going to be a kind of a 'surrogate' dad for the cat. She'll be staying at his shack, which is far bigger than mine and has a big garden on the rear. I'm a lot more constrained financially and can't afford a place like that for now

Secondly, about the coloring, a lot many websites say that orange tabbies (in general) are a lot more loud with a warmer 'personality' than others. Could some of you please confirm/deny that on experience?

Lastly, I work two jobs to stay afloat and my industry has been wrecked by immigration so doing what a poster above suggested would be near impossible for me. I can however spare time on the weekends and do a door to door search. She craves human attention so I'm hoping somebody would have taken her in. I really wish well for that gentle soul and FYI my wife has already heard a earful from me about how cruel we were to her.

However whats done cannot be undone (except by a miracle) but my hopes are low. 12 miles from home in a semi rural mountainous community so can't get hopes too high. Does anyone here have a hint about how a female cat moves about? I am hoping that since she's a female she wouldn't venture off too far like tomcats. Is that true?
 

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The problem here, quite honestly, isn’t your wife. It’s you. You had options other than abandoning an animal that loved and trusted you. If you did that once, I have no faith it would not happen again. Please don’t consider adopting or rescuing any animal, whether your wife approves or not.
 

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Does anyone here have a hint about how a female cat moves about? I am hoping that since she's a female she wouldn't venture off too far like tomcats. Is that true?
Follow my recommendations above (I edited my post to add another suggestion, so re-read it). She wasn't spayed, so the odds are she is pregnant again, if she managed to survive. I know you have two jobs to work to maintain a living, but if it were me, I would take a week off and stay in that area, doing what I suggested for you to do. It is about your only hope. Perhaps, you might even find that someone took her in, that would give you and all of us peace of mind.
 

Talien

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To even consider throwing her out like that shows that you are unfit to take care of an animal. Your feelings of guilt afterward really don't mean much considering you kicked her out of the house during the winter then stuck her in a box and dumped her on the side of the road in the middle of nowhere when she was still there in the morning. You very well may have caused her death by doing that.
 

kittyluv387

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I'm really sorry I made a whole bunch of you angry. But I wouldn't be posting this and asking for advice had I been the monster that some of you think I am. Please don't be so hard on me. I am genuinely sad and I wrote this hoping for hints on finding the cat (if possible) or at least getting another one, who'd be hopefully similar to her

I've worked out everything this time. My friend is going to be a kind of a 'surrogate' dad for the cat. She'll be staying at his shack, which is far bigger than mine and has a big garden on the rear. I'm a lot more constrained financially and can't afford a place like that for now

Secondly, about the coloring, a lot many websites say that orange tabbies (in general) are a lot more loud with a warmer 'personality' than others. Could some of you please confirm/deny that on experience?

Lastly, I work two jobs to stay afloat and my industry has been wrecked by immigration so doing what a poster above suggested would be near impossible for me. I can however spare time on the weekends and do a door to door search. She craves human attention so I'm hoping somebody would have taken her in. I really wish well for that gentle soul and FYI my wife has already heard a earful from me about how cruel we were to her.

However whats done cannot be undone (except by a miracle) but my hopes are low. 12 miles from home in a semi rural mountainous community so can't get hopes too high. Does anyone here have a hint about how a female cat moves about? I am hoping that since she's a female she wouldn't venture off too far like tomcats. Is that true?
I do think male orange tabbies are quite friendly in general. Only 1 out of 4 are females. But if you can't find this original cat or if it turns out she was adopted by someone, I don't think you should get another cat. Your wife got an earful but would that really stop her from suggesting you get rid of another cat. And would you really not agree to her request again? Would you be able to trust your wife to be alone with a cat?
 

CatLover49

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I'm really sorry I made a whole bunch of you angry. But I wouldn't be posting this and asking for advice had I been the monster that some of you think I am. Please don't be so hard on me. I am genuinely sad and I wrote this hoping for hints on finding the cat (if possible) or at least getting another one, who'd be hopefully similar to her

I've worked out everything this time. My friend is going to be a kind of a 'surrogate' dad for the cat. She'll be staying at his shack, which is far bigger than mine and has a big garden on the rear. I'm a lot more constrained financially and can't afford a place like that for now

Secondly, about the coloring, a lot many websites say that orange tabbies (in general) are a lot more loud with a warmer 'personality' than others. Could some of you please confirm/deny that on experience?

Lastly, I work two jobs to stay afloat and my industry has been wrecked by immigration so doing what a poster above suggested would be near impossible for me. I can however spare time on the weekends and do a door to door search. She craves human attention so I'm hoping somebody would have taken her in. I really wish well for that gentle soul and FYI my wife has already heard a earful from me about how cruel we were to her.

However whats done cannot be undone (except by a miracle) but my hopes are low. 12 miles from home in a semi rural mountainous community so can't get hopes too high. Does anyone here have a hint about how a female cat moves about? I am hoping that since she's a female she wouldn't venture off too far like tomcats. Is that true?
Please do NOT get another cat...
 
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ajju711

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Follow my recommendations above (I edited my post to add another suggestion, so re-read it). She wasn't spayed, so the odds are she is pregnant again, if she managed to survive. I know you have two jobs to work to maintain a living, but if it were me, I would take a week off and stay in that area, doing what I suggested for you to do. It is about your only hope. Perhaps, you might even find that someone took her in, that would give you and all of us peace of mind.
OK that makes sense. DO I have to go there every single day? I travel 40 miles (one way) to work so I cannot spare time to go there daily (its in the opposite direction). However I could sacrifice a couple of weekends from this week onwards. Do you think she'd have wandered too far off? I can't go there after sundown as the place gets a bit erry at night. Do female cats search for 'territory' just like tomcats? Or is she more likely to be around the place? There's a narrow ravine like land down the bend on one end and there are houses on the opposite end. So I am assuming she is more likely to head for the houses first?

Laslly thank you for all your responses, even the ones berating me. It's making me feel much worse but I kind of deserve the scorn. But please, I didn't do it on purpose. I am no sadist here! Just a regular working class man with an interest in Animals, esp cats
 

CatLover49

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OK that makes sense. DO I have to go there every single day? I travel 40 miles (one way) to work so I cannot spare time to go there daily (its in the opposite direction). However I could sacrifice a couple of weekends from this week onwards. Do you think she'd have wandered too far off? I can't go there after sundown as the place gets a bit erry at night. Do female cats search for 'territory' just like tomcats? Or is she more likely to be around the place? There's a narrow ravine like land down the bend on one end and there are houses on the opposite end. So I am assuming she is more likely to head for the houses first?

Laslly thank you for all your responses, even the ones berating me. It's making me feel much worse but I kind of deserve the scorn. But please, I didn't do it on purpose. I am no sadist here! Just a regular working class man with an interest in Animals, esp cats
You say you didn't do it on purpose....Well YOU could have NOT did it at all...
 

Willowy

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She'll try to get home. All cats do. She may get killed doing that; it's quite dangerous for a cat to wander that far. She may make it back to your house eventually---someone here had a pest control agency steal her cats and dump them (I think) 7 miles away, and they all came back. It took a few months but they all made it, even the old ones. But she will be pregnant again very soon (if not already) so she'll have to stop somewhere to give birth, and if someone is kind to her she may stay there instead.

I don't think there's any chance she'll still be in the area you dumped her. In between there and your house would be the best place to look.

Dumping an animal is never the correct thing to do, ever. It's extremely cruel and irresponsible. Be sure to tell other people never to do it, and if anyone else suggests it, correct them immediately.
 
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ajju711

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The problem here, quite honestly, isn’t your wife. It’s you. You had options other than abandoning an animal that loved and trusted you. If you did that once, I have no faith it would not happen again. Please don’t consider adopting or rescuing any animal, whether your wife approves or not.
She'll be staying with a buddy of mine. By the way, do you know how stress inducing it is for a middle aged man to be arguing with his wife? It isn't easy to say the least!
I do think male orange tabbies are quite friendly in general. Only 1 out of 4 are females. But if you can't find this original cat or if it turns out she was adopted by someone, I don't think you should get another cat. Your wife got an earful but would that really stop her from suggesting you get rid of another cat. And would you really not agree to her request again? Would you be able to trust your wife to be alone with a cat?
As I mentioned I've worked out everything with my buddy. He's got a nice garden at the back and he already has had cats in the past. He always wanted to have this cat anyways, so I should have given it to him in the first place but I had a bit of a brain freeze arguing with my wife about it. So this never occurred to me unfortunately :(
 

kittyluv387

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She'll be staying with a buddy of mine. By the way, do you know how stress inducing it is for a middle aged man to be arguing with his wife? It isn't easy to say the least!
As I mentioned I've worked out everything with my buddy. He's got a nice garden at the back and he already has had cats in the past. He always wanted to have this cat anyways, so I should have given it to him in the first place but I had a bit of a brain freeze arguing with my wife about it. So this never occurred to me unfortunately :(
Well as long as you won't be adopting a new cat to give to your friend. There would be no sense in that. If you end up finding your original cat without a home it's an okay option.
 

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OK that makes sense. DO I have to go there every single day? I travel 40 miles (one way) to work so I cannot spare time to go there daily (its in the opposite direction). However I could sacrifice a couple of weekends from this week onwards. Do you think she'd have wandered too far off? I can't go there after sundown as the place gets a bit erry at night. Do female cats search for 'territory' just like tomcats? Or is she more likely to be around the place? There's a narrow ravine like land down the bend on one end and there are houses on the opposite end. So I am assuming she is more likely to head for the houses first?
She would likely travel to places where there is food around that she can scavage, unless she can find mice and what-not to eat where she is at. The more often you are there, the better - and the quicker the better. And, much to your dismay nighttime is one of the better times to do so, as if she is scared and hiding out, it will be at night when she is looking for food so as not to expose herself so much. She could have wandered off in any direction, so that will be your problem and the reason I suggested flyers and contacting local places.
Other ideas -
Help! My Cat Is Lost! – Cat Articles
 

kittyluv387

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If you do search for your cat at night, do take a flash light. You can shine it around to look for a cat's eye glare.
 
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ajju711

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Dumping an animal is never the correct thing to do, ever. It's extremely cruel and irresponsible. Be sure to tell other people never to do it, and if anyone else suggests it, correct them immediately.
Guilty as charged! I really don't know how to undo this :( . One more item in the list of my mistakes in life. Nevertheless, I'm praying to God for a miracle.
 
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