A Tribute To Snowball

Maria Bayote

Mama of 4 Cats, 3 Dogs , 2 Budgies & 2 Humans
Top Cat
Joined
Jan 15, 2018
Messages
2,292
Reaction score
5,428
di and bob di and bob That’s exactly how I feel right now! My life feels too long now, too long until I get to see him again and there doesn’t seem to be much joy in my life a lot like how you expressed you felt. It’s hard to believe that time will ease this but I know you’re right, after I lost my first cat ten years ago I was very heart broken and today it hurts a little less than then even though I wish very much that he was still here too. The only difference is that he lived to be 18 instead of 6 like my little Snowball.

I’m so sorry about your Chrissy. I know how you feel about the holidays, I feel like the Christmas Grinch now and I really don’t feel like celebrating anything. You must have had it even worse. And the surreal feeling is very weird to me, but I know exactly what you mean. Every day I keep thinking ‘I can’t belive he’s gone’. We all feel his absence greatly. But I hope this Holiday season that you hurt a little less and continue to keep Chrissy’s memory alive.

Maria Bayote Maria Bayote After meeting a cat that makes such an impact on your life, I can understand that feeling of not imagining a world without them. It sounds like your kitties are just as crucial to your life as mine are and I’m sure they can tell you love them very much too.

I’m holding onto the hope that my happy memories of him will one day not be filled with as many tears, but I’m still going to keep remembering now even with the tears because I don’t want to lose a single memory. And you are absolutely right, I feel so lucky to have gotten him by chance and that I had him in my life. He truly changed mine for the better, it was like he was my own guardian angel sent from above and now he returned to heaven.
We cry over a dearly departed because the emotions are still raw. It is normal especially for a human being who has loved an animal so much. My dog of 15 years died in my arms on the morning of my 20th birthday, but now even after 2 decades I still mourn for him, so meaning my emotions are still quite the same as the day he left me. I have also lost several pets after that, and have left an endless gnawing pain in my heart. We only know the extent of our love for our animals when they are gone. Sure, we love them now. We know that. We feel that. We show them that. We shower them with toys and gifts and kisses. But when any one of them leaves, that is the only time that we ourselves get confused where all this grief is coming from, and why it never really fades away.

I also believe that we each have our own spirit animal. I am a dog person, but when I met my Bourbon (my maine coon cat) even on that day I saw her matted and dirty on the street, I instantly connected to her like I had known this animal in my past life or something. So each time I fed her and saw her leave I always felt a sense of deep sadness. Until I told my husband that I need to bring in this cat and take care of it. (By that time I already had a rescue kitten). Now I am extra protective of her. We have the same character, the same quirks which I have not observed in any of my other pets. Maybe this is why you also are connected to Snowball. Maybe in some strange reason you two are connected by some invincible cord or something. Sorry. My imagination is working half time again. But I do believe in magical things and stuff. :)
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
10,755
Reaction score
12,404
Location
Nebraska, USA
The only thing I truly worry about is spending years on grief and sadness. Life is much too precious and meant to be lived to the fullest. If I had died first I would be devastated to know that my little one grieved and felt pain for the rest of her life, and I know they want the same for us. They enjoyed life to the fullest and embraced what each day brought. They did not hold grudges, they simply loved with all their little beings....
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #23

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
Maria Bayote Maria Bayote It’s interesting to me that so many of us have such strong connections to our fur babies more than other people even and for me, like you said, I felt so connected to my baby. I really felt like his parent and that he was meant to be in my life. I think it’s intriguing how you see that connection and I kind of think you’re right. We were meant to be with the animals we have, and that makes it hurt a little more too. I have so many ‘whys?’ With what happened and life and my family feels different, not in a good way. Personally, I’m very emotional and I know I’ll always be grieving in a way. It’s hard to feel this connection to him when he’s so far away now. I really hope I can get back to my routine of life but I do feel changed after this.

di and bob di and bob they are so pure and innocent and honest, which is why I hurt thinking about how he didn’t deserve this. I constantly wished I was going through what he did instead of him. Lately I’ve been thinking of little things I didn’t notice before we lost him and he’s always on my mind in some way. I feel so much guilt about what happened but at the same time I really do hope he’s in a better place now.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
10,755
Reaction score
12,404
Location
Nebraska, USA
I,too, do that "I wish I could have done it different". I would give ANYTHING to have that last day back to do over. But we can't go back, only forward, and praying for things to change the past only prolongs the hurt.
Of course your precious Snowball is in a better place. For him, it is over, he is at peace knowing he left someone behind to love him for eternity, and will allow him to continue living through that love as long as you yourself live. Losing their physical presence hurts so bad, but we will always have their love. And for now, that has to be enough......
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #25

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
di and bob di and bob I’m sorry that you know how I’m feeling, it hurts more to think other people are like me in this situation. Very hurt. It’s difficult having just memories now, but like you said it’ll have to be enough even though it doesn’t feel enough right now. I hope he really is at peace knowing I’m fine down here but I worry about his brother that he left behind more. The other day I showed him a video of his departed brother and he sniffed my phone and pawed at it a little bit then left. I also have Snowball’s bed in my room now. It isn’t him but it’s covered in fur and in a weird way it gives me a tiny bit of comfort like he is still there. But his brother sniffed it a few times and there wasn’t too big of a reaction. I know cats are good at hiding how they are feeling but I’m not sure how Snowball’s brother really feels or if he is truly depressed which worries me. I don’t want to make the same mistakes as I did with his brother in realizing when something is truly wrong.

Then there’s Christmas this week. I’m not sure how any of us get by during the holidays when they don’t feel the same anymore. Do you have any tips?

Also here is another picture of Snowball (left) and his brother. As different as they were they were almost always cuddling. I think this sums up their relationship pretty well.
 

Attachments

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
10,755
Reaction score
12,404
Location
Nebraska, USA
I think I was numb that first Christmas. You really have to try hard to concentrate on other things during that time. And then you feel guilty for that. It's too easy to let grief rule your emotions. It will take a long time to not feel like you've been punched every time you think of Snowball, time truly is the only thing that helps. You have another little one there that needs you. Cats live in the present. They mourn, they know they have lost one of their own, but they also know that life is too precious to not be fully alive every second of every day. And grief mires you in the past. I know your precious Snowball would never want to bring such pain to your life. Concentrate on what you would want for him if you were the first to go, and move to the next step of your life's journey. One step at a time. Don't let his death take over your life. One loss is enough. The precious memories you have of his life are so much more important. You can't know what a great love is until you have experienced a great loss. Like anything worth having it takes work and self satisfaction to reach a goal, and to find peace again in your heart will take a lot of work.
For now, concentrate on yourself, and on that precious boy who is still with you.
Snowball is at peace, because he is secure in your love. He will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Just because you can't see him does not mean he is not there, there are many things in this world that we can't see but it doesn't mean they are not real. Pain is one of them, and you have to experience it to know the true meaning of great joy in life, to be able to prioritize things in your life, to appreciate and embrace it when you are blessed to have it come your way. One of them is also love......
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #28

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
di and bob di and bob I never really thought of how cats see things like you said, and I think you have to be right. I often believe cats are smarter than I am and living in the presence and making the most of their day and lives and I should be doing the same too. They value life so much and are too pure to stay here for too long and I think that is how my remaining kitty sees life as well.

Snowball was my only and biggest support in the many dark parts of my life and helped me through so much just by being there and alive, not having that great love that I found through him will always be heart breaking but like you said, I still have a cat who needs me here to be strong for him. My sister told me just the other day: “They are a part of our life, but we are their entire life” and that really hit me that I need to put more love into Snowball’s brother, enough for the both of them to help him heal too. He sleeps with me almost every night, and I think it’s because he’s lonely. Thank you for your advice on taking this one step at a time, that’s what I’m trying to do so I won’t be completely consumed in my grief all the time.

The Holidays was hard for us and we didn’t celebrate New Years much. It’s difficult to be excited about starting something new when so many bad things happen like last year. I hope you were able to celebrate the holidays happily with your friends and family this year and I really can’t thank you enough for the support you have shown me and both of my cats too :heartshape:
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
10,755
Reaction score
12,404
Location
Nebraska, USA
I try to do whatever I can, it seems the holiday season for some odd reason always brings grief in my life. Depression is like a weight, it slows you down and takes all joy and ambition away. My husband's uncle, just a year older and raised together with him like a brother died on Christmas day, leaving behind a 55 year old wife and three boys. A fine man that didn't even get to retire.
I hope all the sadness in our lives spurs us all on to make changes in our lives, To know what is truly important, life is much too precious to just exist. Hold and kiss everyone of your loved ones you can today, and be thankful for every day taht is given to you.....
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #30

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California

To whoever still reads this,
Today is April 13th, Snowball would have been 7 years old today. While he’s not alive to celebrate it this is the first birthday his brother is spending without him.
I bought him some fancy wet food for his special day and played with him and sang him happy birthday. And don’t worry, I didn’t forget about Snowball. I got a little cupcake wrapper and put his favorite wet food and placed it where he is buried so he wouldn’t be left out. I think they really enjoyed the food since I’ve never gotten it before and it is advertised as something pure and healthy so I at least hope they got to pig out once in a while and have a good birthday.

It’s only been a few months and some days are harder than others. Some days I can remember Snowball and smile and some others I think and cry about him all day. His brother now sleeps with me almost every night and rarely uses his cat bed.

So today please give all your cats lots of hugs and kisses for Snowball on his special day and enjoy the warm weather that should be rolling in.
I leave you with a picture of Lightning enjoying his birthday dinner and Snowball and Lightning in their little beds where they slept next to each other every night. The big 7! They really grow up too fast.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
10,755
Reaction score
12,404
Location
Nebraska, USA
These anniversaries are so bittersweet. I just gave my three a hug and a kiss in rememberance of your Snowball. I say a special prayer for all those dearly departed, and for those left behind to mourn the loss.....
 

Leomc123

TCS Member
Super Cat
Joined
Oct 1, 2018
Messages
712
Reaction score
1,494
Wow snowball looks beautiful in the large picture. I am sorry for your loss and that snowball is in peace now in heaven watching over you :(

i understand how you feel when you say you feel like you ended the life of your baby, that is how i feel when i put Leo down 3 months ago and MC 2 weeks ago. Its the guilt that you have to make this devastating decision knowing that you will be the one ending his or her life and it is your decision, when you, so so so very much, want to save their life and keep them breathing and their hearts beating forever, but know that there is no other way out of this. The pain you are suffering is real and isn't wrong, its because you are a living and breathing being who's heart is broken .
 
Last edited:

rubysmama

Forum Helper
Staff Member
Forum Helper
Joined
Nov 25, 2013
Messages
14,751
Reaction score
28,664
Location
Canada
Anniversaries are hard, whether they're for the humans in our lives we've lost, or our pets. :sigh: In Snowball's memory, I just woke my Ruby girl up to give her a hug and a kiss. :hearthrob:
 

Antonio65

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 27, 2017
Messages
3,454
Reaction score
5,227
Location
Orbassano - Italy
I have read your opening post a few times before, but I've always missed the courage to reply, because the story of the fluids in Snowball's chest reminds me too well what I had gone through with my cat Pallina. Furthermore, the sudden worsening of Snowball's conditions made me feel so sad that I would cry everytime I was reading your post...

Undoubtedly he was a sweet kitty, and it's so unfair that something evil took him away from you so soon.

Missed birthday, anniversaries and special dates always bring some load of tears, and I think we will never forget any of those days.

RIP Snowball, and happy birthday :(
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #35

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
These anniversaries are so bittersweet. I just gave my three a hug and a kiss in rememberance of your Snowball. I say a special prayer for all those dearly departed, and for those left behind to mourn the loss.....
di and bob di and bob Thank you so much! Snowball would have appreciated extra love for kitties, and I’m sure your three do too! This time is very difficult. It brings back so many memories, good and bad. Lately I’ve been focusing on the good ones to beat out the bad ones and sometimes it brings a smile to my face. It’s hard to do but I always want to keep him alive in my memories.

Wow snowball looks beautiful in the large picture. I am sorry for your loss and that snowball is in peace now in heaven watching over you :(

i understand how you feel when you say you feel like you ended the life of your baby, that is how i feel when i put Leo down 3 months ago and MC 2 weeks ago. Its the guilt that you have to make this devastating decision knowing that you will be the one ending his or her life and it is your decision, when you, so so so very much, want to save their life and keep them breathing and their hearts beating forever, but know that there is no other way out of this. The pain you are suffering is real and isn't wrong, its because you are a living and breathing being who's heart is broken .
Leomc123 Leomc123 I’m so sorry your pain has been very recent. I hope Leo and MC are happy together in cat heaven. And you described my emotion exactly. The doctors and my parents felt like they were pressuring me to do it because he was suffering. I could see that but I also saw him trying to move when he couldn’t trying to lift his head and meow because he hated needles. That’s what made it hurt worse. He didn’t understand what anyone was doing what was happening all until I made that choice. I’ve felt so much guilt about it I even have nightmares of that day many times and wake up crying about it. But like people have said here before, I have to remember that I was helping free him from the pain and disease as much as it hurt me too. But like you said my heart is still broken and it really does feel like a lost my own child.

Anniversaries are hard, whether they're for the humans in our lives we've lost, or our pets. :sigh: In Snowball's memory, I just woke my Ruby girl up to give her a hug and a kiss. :hearthrob:
rubysmama rubysmama Yes they are, my pets are practically my family. It hurts just as much as if it were a human relative. Give Ruby all those extra hugs and kisses! I’m sure she won’t mind so much, I think our cats appreciate them! <3

I have read your opening post a few times before, but I've always missed the courage to reply, because the story of the fluids in Snowball's chest reminds me too well what I had gone through with my cat Pallina. Furthermore, the sudden worsening of Snowball's conditions made me feel so sad that I would cry everytime I was reading your post...

Undoubtedly he was a sweet kitty, and it's so unfair that something evil took him away from you so soon.

Missed birthday, anniversaries and special dates always bring some load of tears, and I think we will never forget any of those days.

RIP Snowball, and happy birthday :(
Antonio65 Antonio65 Your message really touched me, I’m sorry that Snowball’s story hurt so much because you personally have felt this loss as well. I’m also very sorry to your dear Pallina. I think this experience hurts so much because it was a long drawn out pain. Apparently this isn’t too common for cats and my vets really were at a loss on how to help him. Makes me want to curse modern medicine sometimes.

It was very brave of you to come here read and type a message, it’s why I don’t like to get on very often because I know I’ll be crying over everyone’s touching messages. But it is also why I like this site. Everyone here loves their kitties just like I do and they truly understand our loss and our pain. And trust me I’ve been crying along with this with you.

I want you to know that Snowball would have really appreciated your message and birthday wish. I know that he loved extra one-on-one attention! These days are very hard but I’m thinking of sharing his baby pictures on here when I’m ready. I feel like an old grandma looking at baby pictures to my grown up boys. But I’d like to continue to share with you and everyone on how wonderful my cat was and you can do that too. Pallina must have been a very special kitty and very lucky to have someone who cared so so much. You’re a good person :heartshape:
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #36

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
Hello everyone, I just wanted to add another little post here again because yesterday marked one year since Snowball’s passing.

It was a very surreal day. I had bought some white roses and laid them where he is buried and just stood there for a moment thinking about him and everything really.
I can’t believe it has been a whole year-mostly because I still haven’t fully processed that this had really happened. But laying the roses there almost made have to accept all of this.
But each day is still hard. I think about him all the time-think of how everything could be different. But also oddly enough, going to visit and remember and mourn made me think to hang in there if not just for the sake that maybe I’ll see him again one day after I pass too.

It also made me think about how cats see loss themselves. I read a wonderful poem online in the perspective of a cat who passed telling their human to not mourn forever because a part of them will always be here-and it’s true. I was one lucky person to have been blessed with a cat like Snowball in my life and even when I’m distraught I should hang in there because there are a lot of other cats in this world that need us as well. Including Snowball’s brother Lightning who I’ve really bonded with this year and who has really bonded with my family too. He still sleeps in my bed every night since that terrible day last year, and we’ve really helped each other through this. I think I would have been a lot worse off it wasn’t for Lightning.

I just wanted to share this with everyone as everyone who commented in this thread were really the ones help me understand this and comfort me when I needed it. Everyone here were some of the only people who really knew what I was going through and showed me some sympathy. All of you people are beautiful and give everyone of your cats some hugs and kisses for me.
 

Attachments

les26

Sylvester's daddy
Top Cat
Joined
Nov 19, 2015
Messages
1,689
Reaction score
3,072
Location
Emmaus, Pennsylvania
Hello everyone, I just wanted to add another little post here again because yesterday marked one year since Snowball’s passing.

It was a very surreal day. I had bought some white roses and laid them where he is buried and just stood there for a moment thinking about him and everything really.
I can’t believe it has been a whole year-mostly because I still haven’t fully processed that this had really happened. But laying the roses there almost made have to accept all of this.
But each day is still hard. I think about him all the time-think of how everything could be different. But also oddly enough, going to visit and remember and mourn made me think to hang in there if not just for the sake that maybe I’ll see him again one day after I pass too.

It also made me think about how cats see loss themselves. I read a wonderful poem online in the perspective of a cat who passed telling their human to not mourn forever because a part of them will always be here-and it’s true. I was one lucky person to have been blessed with a cat like Snowball in my life and even when I’m distraught I should hang in there because there are a lot of other cats in this world that need us as well. Including Snowball’s brother Lightning who I’ve really bonded with this year and who has really bonded with my family too. He still sleeps in my bed every night since that terrible day last year, and we’ve really helped each other through this. I think I would have been a lot worse off it wasn’t for Lightning.

I just wanted to share this with everyone as everyone who commented in this thread were really the ones help me understand this and comfort me when I needed it. Everyone here were some of the only people who really knew what I was going through and showed me some sympathy. All of you people are beautiful and give everyone of your cats some hugs and kisses for me.
This is a wonderful heartfelt post...... :alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

Jovie’s Mom

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Nov 16, 2019
Messages
8
Reaction score
22
Hello everyone, I just wanted to add another little post here again because yesterday marked one year since Snowball’s passing.

It was a very surreal day. I had bought some white roses and laid them where he is buried and just stood there for a moment thinking about him and everything really.
I can’t believe it has been a whole year-mostly because I still haven’t fully processed that this had really happened. But laying the roses there almost made have to accept all of this.
But each day is still hard. I think about him all the time-think of how everything could be different. But also oddly enough, going to visit and remember and mourn made me think to hang in there if not just for the sake that maybe I’ll see him again one day after I pass too.

It also made me think about how cats see loss themselves. I read a wonderful poem online in the perspective of a cat who passed telling their human to not mourn forever because a part of them will always be here-and it’s true. I was one lucky person to have been blessed with a cat like Snowball in my life and even when I’m distraught I should hang in there because there are a lot of other cats in this world that need us as well. Including Snowball’s brother Lightning who I’ve really bonded with this year and who has really bonded with my family too. He still sleeps in my bed every night since that terrible day last year, and we’ve really helped each other through this. I think I would have been a lot worse off it wasn’t for Lightning.

I just wanted to share this with everyone as everyone who commented in this thread were really the ones help me understand this and comfort me when I needed it. Everyone here were some of the only people who really knew what I was going through and showed me some sympathy. All of you people are beautiful and give everyone of your cats some hugs and kisses for me.
I just want to say thank you for posting your feelings here. I lost my 5-6 yr old baby girl a couple of weeks ago and I can relate so much. :(
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #39

JustJ

TCS Member
Thread starter
Young Cat
Joined
Apr 5, 2018
Messages
68
Reaction score
106
Location
Southern California
I just want to say thank you for posting your feelings here. I lost my 5-6 yr old baby girl a couple of weeks ago and I can relate so much. :(
I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It’s especially hard when they are so young, too young. But your baby lived a life full of love and that’s the most important part. I hate that you are able to relate to this, but I am here for you like the people on this site have been here for me.
Your baby isn’t gone entirely-you keep her alive in your heart.
 
Top