A Switch Flipped, Now My Cats Hate Each Other. What Can We Do?

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Catfamily3000

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Sounds to me like you need to keep them separate for longer if you want a reset. And then before you let them interact, you let them see each other via double stacked baby gates or a door cracked with door jambs. That is an intermediate step. You just aren't ready to let them interact, because fighting undos all progress.

Also sounds like you need improved door security to prevent door darting. What I do is act like a nut with exaggerated foot stomping, with loud random scary vocalisations added in the first few times. Let your family think your a loon and scare your cats back a little, you MUST prevent fighting or the reintroduction process won't work. So do it before you touch the door to back the one cat off; crack the door while stomping and making vocalisations to back the other cat off. If your serious about it, and not afraid of acting like a loon, it will back most cats off and eventually get them to stop trying to dart (although you need to keep up with it).

Doing this today. Going good so far! I tried the yelling and stomping at the door. It worked! Thank you!!!
 
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Catfamily3000

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Cat shelving can look really good AND it gives a couple of benefits. It gives height which builds confidence AND it gives them another escape route from each other so they can choose to "get out of the way" rather than have to get into a confrontation.Cat shelving in "choke point" areas where it is tight and only one route can help especially well.

How did they act after the "rough" play (before the recent issues)? Did either cat hide, or avoid areas, etc? Or did they bounce back to normal quickly?

If they were co-existing fine then you did the intro well.

The reason why they bolt from the room is because a cat doesn't like territory "taken" away (even though it is necessary) and they try to regain that territory (in spite of the potential "risks" - a negative encounter with the other cat).

It is a bit tricky when we have a feral causing territorial insecurity and redirected aggression. Given that they are fighting and now peeing I think we need to keep them totally separated and work on building their confidence individually while also doing a re-introduction (making positive associations starting with feeding on the opposite side of a closed door). And see how they do then do some scent swapping and then site swapping (over time). The goal in this is to build confidence (to better handle the feral that is coming around) AND to make every encounter (whether by scent at first then in time sight) as positive as possible while limiting any negative encounters. So keeping them separate should limit the negative encounters.

The peeing is happening after they have a dust-up, correct? Or is it happening after they see the feral without any negative encounter between the 2 resident cats? Where is the peeing happening? By outside doors or windows? Or in the area of the fight or the area where the other resident cat is?

So I think we need to stop he "dust-ups" to reduce the negative encounters and therefore stop the peeing. That is our first goal. Make sure you are cleaning the pee with an enzymatic cleaner to remove the scent properly.

So keep them totally separated. Also, step up play with each separately in their own territory. Feed treats after play and/or feed a meal by the closed door. And give them love if you can safely. Be as calm and confident around them as possible. If you can get them to purr (if you are not at risk of being hurt) that could be great. Cats sense our emotions so it is important to stay as calm and confident around them as possible. Just help them be in a positive state between each other. This will also (the confidence building) will help them accept the feral.

You are welcome. We'll get through this. It sounds like it started with re-directed aggression because of the feral and then they started getting some negativity between them. So it depends on what is causing the peeing (it could be the feral - territorial insecurity or it could be stress from the negativity between the 2 resident cats). Either way de-escalating and building confidence should stop the peeing and ultimately help with the acceptance of the feral. We'll see how they respond but our first goal is to stop the peeing and make every encounter between the resident cats as positive as possible.

We'll get through this. We should seeing the peeing stop soon. Then we can work on their confidence to handle the feral and then as they get more confident we can make more progress on getting them back together (as a confident cat is more likely to accept and be accepted).

Please update any time and ask anything. This happens all the time and we can fix this.
This has been so helpful. I've stepped up the play. Fed them by the door. Tried to do more brushing and quality time together (one HATES brushing though--he actually hates most touching and bites after a little bit of petting). I've really tried to be confident and calm, doing a nice voice and praising them for all the positive too.
 

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Fingers crossed that things are back to normal soon. :crossfingers:
 

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This has been so helpful. I've stepped up the play. Fed them by the door. Tried to do more brushing and quality time together (one HATES brushing though--he actually hates most touching and bites after a little bit of petting). I've really tried to be confident and calm, doing a nice voice and praising them for all the positive too.
Sounds like you are doing a great job.

If the one cat does not like brushing then do something else in order to make a positive association. If the cat needs to be brushed brush the cat away from the other so there is no negative association.

Just take it slowly, keep making positive associations, keep trying to make every encounter as positive as possible and continue to work on building confidence with Play, then Food/treat after play, try to get them up in the world Height if they like going high, and Love (which is positive energy around them, calm and confident, loving, positive encounters, etc).

A confident cat is less likely attack or be attacked or have territorial issues (peeing, redirected aggression).

Keep up the great work and please let us know if you have any questions or issues.Hopefully some of the peeing/pooping has ended and we can move into getting things better in the other areas.
 
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Hi, just following up here. Went to the vet a few weeks ago. He gave us a new food to try that's supposed to lower stress and help with the spraying. Nothing has really changed though. The cats still hate each other. feeling super discouraged.
 

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Just skimmed through the thread again to refresh my memory, but didn't see this mentioned. Have you tried Feliway or calming treats?
 

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I am sorry to hear this.

Where is the spraying happening? Is it by outside walls, windows, doors to the outside? Is it next to litter boxes? Or places where they fight or walk carefully by?

When do you think it is happening? At night? After a fight? Etc.

How are they walking around? Tall? Tail up? Or low, slinking around, avoiding, scared?

Cats spray because they wither have a medical condition or they are feeling very insecure. So I like to rule out medical with a vet visit (which I think you may have done) then we focus on the confidence of the cat. And we work on confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love. Are you still playing with them? And are you playing with them in the areas where they may be having fights or spraying or walking low, tail down, etc (lacking confidence)? After play feed treats or a meal. Also, try to stay as calm and confident around them as possible. I know going outside of the litter box is frustrating and maddening but try to just not let it bother you, clean it up with an enzymatic cleaner and act like it is nothing. Cats have an instinct to cover their scent so we have instinct on our side.

How exactly are they having troubles? Are they fighting? Can you expand on what is going on between them?

Please feel free to mention anything. The more information the better. Hang in there, this is what I do and run into this all the time so it is very solvable.
 
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Catfamily3000

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Just skimmed through the thread again to refresh my memory, but didn't see this mentioned. Have you tried Feliway or calming treats?
I tried a relaxing herbal drop before, and I thought that worked a little, but it didn't work in the fighting sense. I just ordered some Feliway today.
 

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Feliway doesn't work on all cats - as is true of any of these products - just so you know. There are many cat calming products on the market, so you may have to experiment with some before you find one that works. Just do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are any others you might want to try if Feliway doesn't work.
 
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Catfamily3000

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I am sorry to hear this.

Where is the spraying happening? Is it by outside walls, windows, doors to the outside? Is it next to litter boxes? Or places where they fight or walk carefully by?

When do you think it is happening? At night? After a fight? Etc.

How are they walking around? Tall? Tail up? Or low, slinking around, avoiding, scared?

Cats spray because they wither have a medical condition or they are feeling very insecure. So I like to rule out medical with a vet visit (which I think you may have done) then we focus on the confidence of the cat. And we work on confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love. Are you still playing with them? And are you playing with them in the areas where they may be having fights or spraying or walking low, tail down, etc (lacking confidence)? After play feed treats or a meal. Also, try to stay as calm and confident around them as possible. I know going outside of the litter box is frustrating and maddening but try to just not let it bother you, clean it up with an enzymatic cleaner and act like it is nothing. Cats have an instinct to cover their scent so we have instinct on our side.

How exactly are they having troubles? Are they fighting? Can you expand on what is going on between them?

Please feel free to mention anything. The more information the better. Hang in there, this is what I do and run into this all the time so it is very solvable.
Thank you for your response.

Where is the spraying happening? Is it by outside walls, windows, doors to the outside? Is it next to litter boxes? Or places where they fight or walk carefully by?
The spraying happens wherever they're fighting (though last night, after the fight, my other cat must have sprayed at a spot where they both like to rest--separately for now--because I found a yellow puddle there this morning). It's on a ledge by where the stairs go down. Far from the litter box. They've fought there before (and the one cat who sprays when they fight has sprayed there. I've done the enzyme cleaner there a lot, but maybe since it's wood, it doesn't work as well?).

When do you think it is happening? At night? After a fight? Etc.
The spraying usually happens during the fight, but I'm concerned it's happening after the fight now too.

How are they walking around? Tall? Tail up? Or low, slinking around, avoiding, scared?
We've been keeping them separate since November because of the fighting. But when they're alone, they usually walk around tall and tail up. They love human interaction, though I feel like all the separation is making one become less social. and that's part of what is making me so sad about this.

Are you still playing with them? And are you playing with them in the areas where they may be having fights or spraying or walking low, tail down, etc (lacking confidence)?
I'm still playing with them, but it's not as routine anymore. It's been hard to do separate play sessions every day working and with an 18-month-old. I've felt guilty about letting it slip from a routine.

How exactly are they having troubles? Are they fighting? Can you expand on what is going on between them?
They fight every time they get together now. We've kept them separate since November, but occasionally one will bolt out when we open the door or a miscommunication will happen and one will get out. Every time, they go straight for each other and then the screaming, fighting (a few times with visible scratches) and spraying (and most times pooping) will happen. Only one cat sprays and poops. Both scream and fight and chase each other. I do my best to keep my cool and try and be comforting. I use a blanket to catch one and then split them up and get to cleaning the mess up. I stay relaxed then but feel very dejected. I do the baby gate every so often, but they just hiss and don't like seeing each other.

We usually keep food out for them the entire day, but last night I took it away and am going to start doing routine feedings at the door.
 
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Catfamily3000

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Feliway doesn't work on all cats - as is true of any of these products - just so you know. There are many cat calming products on the market, so you may have to experiment with some before you find one that works. Just do an internet search on 'cat calming products' to see if there are any others you might want to try if Feliway doesn't work.
There definitely seems to be a split opinion in the reviews for it. I'm willing to try anything, though. If you have any others that you recommend, please let me know and I'll try them next.
 

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There definitely seems to be a split opinion in the reviews for it. I'm willing to try anything, though. If you have any others that you recommend, please let me know and I'll try them next.
One is Bach Rescue Remedy, which are drops you can rub into a cat's ear. I have read members have used this to help calm their cat before a vet visit, so it might be another one you can try if the Feliway doesn't 'do the trick'.
 

calicosrspecial

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Thank you for the answers this is very insight and helpful.

Ok, it sounds like it is fear driven and very territorial. Peeing/spraying/marking is a scream of insecurity saying "this is mine" stay away and stress driven.

I would really like to keep them totally separated. No visual contact and no actual physical contact. So no baby gate for now. Door closed at all times. I know it is hard as cats want to dart out but it is really important. Then we will work on doing a reintroduction - feeding by the closed to begin with, then some scent swapping, etc. During this we will want to build confidence via play and then feeding after. Also, in their respective territories making sure they have scratching posts, cat trees (some place to go high), comfy bedding - things they can "own" and feel territorially secure.And finally, give them as much love as safely possible. You mentioned they love human interaction so giving love can help build confidence AND make a positive association using the human as a positive to bridge the trust gap between the cats (basically a scent swapping using the human - a positive).

Cats are creatures of habit so trying to stick to a routine if at at all possible is helpful. Just do your best. Life does get in the way and we have multiple routes to fix this but just do your best. And PLEASE DO NOT FEEL GUILTY. No reason to.

If you have time constraints play with the cat that is least confident. And in their territory only. Feed after the play.

Also, can you add a litter box to any areas they are peeing/marking/spraying?

Also, wherever the fight happens have the cat in that territory play there and then give treats if at all possible. We want to make the cat's confidence better there. Maybe add a scratching post if possible so the cat can get their scent there and "own" it more.

Our emotions are really important as cats take on our emotions. I read 3 emotions from you "sad" and "guilty" and "dejected". And I am guessing you have the normal stresses of just life in general like everyone does and having a young child. Our stresses can be picked up by the cats and cause them stress. It is not easy to reduce stress but just do your best. I know what you mean about all those negative feelings BUT it is important to stay as positive, calm and confident as possible around them as they should take it on and feel more positive, calm and confident. I know it is hard but we will get through this. I don;t want you to feel guilty at all as there is no reason you should be and we will improve the sad and dejected aspects. When we start making positive strides forward those will reduce and go away. This happens all the time and going through the process and making positive associations (using food, scent) and eventually making sure every encounter is as positive as possible (so they can re-build trust between each other) is how we will do it. And as we build their confidence that will help as a confident cat is less likely to attack and more likely to accept (and we build confidence through Play, Food, Height and Love). And increase the feeling of "ownership" of the territory.

The separation is necessary. The fighting will be much worse than any separation issues. We just need to build positive associations and build trust again so that they can get back together. We will just take it one step at a time. Everything you are experiencing happens all the time and we can work through this. I know it is difficult to go through this but we see this all the time and it is common AND fixable. Don't worry, we will fix it.

So let's start feeding on opposite sides of the closed door - start maybe 3 feet apart to being with and if they refuse to eat then try it a little further away. Then we will slowly move them closer. Try to monitor and make sure they are eating and not going by the door, swatting at it, hissing etc. We want to make it as positive as possible. If one of the cats is focused on the door and the other cat then try to distract in a positive way . Calm, confident loving "it's ok", things like that. Anything to avoid any negative feelings. It is all about making a positive associations there and making that encounter as positive as possible.

Don't worry, we will get through this. This is very common. Please let me know if you have any questions about the process. It is a process and we will take it step by step.
 
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