Hi everyone-
Emotionally, I'm at my wits end so any expertise is very, very appreciated. I'm trying to decide if it's best to reach back out to the rescue and foster him until a better suited family can apply. This is extremely heartbreaking and I haven't cried this much in a very long time- just anticipating rehoming him is crushing- but I'm not sure we're allowing him to live his best life right now.
We thought we did everything right. Researched Jackson Galaxy's cat intro videos, setting up base camp, etc. We did not expect happy-get-alongs at first sight, we anticipated hissing and nervousness. What we weren't ready for was to the extent our resident cat would be as territorial as she is.
Quick facts:
After that we blocked off the door a bit more with a baby gate and pillows. We gradually moved up to feeding them on either side without hissing. Then moved to eating on each side through a baby gate. This has never been perfect. M can watch the newcomer on her terms and not hiss or growl, but if he looks up at her or approaches her in any way- game over.
After a few instances of calm feedings (weeks 3-4) we decided to try and let him out to see if they could just be in the same room, distracted by play. Oh no. When S stands in the threshold of his room, M LOCKS in on him, and if he takes two steps toward the room she's in, puffs up, growls, and eventually rockets toward him screaming like a banshee.
An unfortunate instance after this was a few days later S snuck out of his room into our bedroom where M was sleeping. She cornered him- leading to a fur flying fight. He retreated back to base camp.
Now: we've tried restarting introductions. It's hit or miss. Once we moved from the eating on either side of the door and into eating on either side of the baby gate, M will sometimes tolerate him, sometimes not. We are no where near being able to have them in the same room, let alone let him roam outside base camp without putting her in another room.
We've finally started grappling with the idea that maybe this is not suitable for him. We're trying to emphasize his needs as a cat (he's a a more difficult case as he is extremely shy with humans at first and it took us a couple weeks just to have him not hide when we opened the door to base camp). He's gotten comfy with us and started showing affection. But being confined to this bedroom when we aren't at home seems unfair to him. I have started to imagine that a multi-cat household with cat's used to other cats (that would be vetted by the rescue) would be better suited for him. But the idea of letting him go- it's just so hard.
Anyone have similar experiences? Of either needing to rehome a newly adopted cat or of successful introductions with a super territorial cat?
Emotionally, I'm at my wits end so any expertise is very, very appreciated. I'm trying to decide if it's best to reach back out to the rescue and foster him until a better suited family can apply. This is extremely heartbreaking and I haven't cried this much in a very long time- just anticipating rehoming him is crushing- but I'm not sure we're allowing him to live his best life right now.
We thought we did everything right. Researched Jackson Galaxy's cat intro videos, setting up base camp, etc. We did not expect happy-get-alongs at first sight, we anticipated hissing and nervousness. What we weren't ready for was to the extent our resident cat would be as territorial as she is.
Quick facts:
- Resident cat (M) has been a solo cat for 6 years. She's an 8 y/o female in great health- high energy, loves to play.
- We adopted a 2 year old male (S) from a rescue in December.
- We were told he loves cats and finds comfort in the company of other cats.
- S is double the size of M- which makes me nervous about the fighting we've observed.
- We've got multi-cat Feliway plugged in everywhere. M has a calming collar on (that's relatively new, last day or so)
After that we blocked off the door a bit more with a baby gate and pillows. We gradually moved up to feeding them on either side without hissing. Then moved to eating on each side through a baby gate. This has never been perfect. M can watch the newcomer on her terms and not hiss or growl, but if he looks up at her or approaches her in any way- game over.
After a few instances of calm feedings (weeks 3-4) we decided to try and let him out to see if they could just be in the same room, distracted by play. Oh no. When S stands in the threshold of his room, M LOCKS in on him, and if he takes two steps toward the room she's in, puffs up, growls, and eventually rockets toward him screaming like a banshee.
An unfortunate instance after this was a few days later S snuck out of his room into our bedroom where M was sleeping. She cornered him- leading to a fur flying fight. He retreated back to base camp.
Now: we've tried restarting introductions. It's hit or miss. Once we moved from the eating on either side of the door and into eating on either side of the baby gate, M will sometimes tolerate him, sometimes not. We are no where near being able to have them in the same room, let alone let him roam outside base camp without putting her in another room.
We've finally started grappling with the idea that maybe this is not suitable for him. We're trying to emphasize his needs as a cat (he's a a more difficult case as he is extremely shy with humans at first and it took us a couple weeks just to have him not hide when we opened the door to base camp). He's gotten comfy with us and started showing affection. But being confined to this bedroom when we aren't at home seems unfair to him. I have started to imagine that a multi-cat household with cat's used to other cats (that would be vetted by the rescue) would be better suited for him. But the idea of letting him go- it's just so hard.
Anyone have similar experiences? Of either needing to rehome a newly adopted cat or of successful introductions with a super territorial cat?