6 months.. Still not getting along

Ghostemoji

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
6
Purraise
0
Hey everyone.

I have two cats: Iris (6F) and Ra (8mo M), both indoor only, both spayed/neutered.

I got Ra in October- and they are still not getting along. I have read and done all the usual Jackson Galaxy steps (separating them, feeding closer and closer to the door, eventually letting them see eachother through a gate, etc). I've got 3 litterboxes and 3 feeding stations throughout the house as well.

Basically when it becomes time for them to be freeroaming together (supervised), Ra BOLTS for Iris because he's excited to see her. Iris is very timid and her reaction is always to run away. I've given her a ton of vertical space - but her hiding preference is "down low" under furniture. Unfortunately Ra will continue to persue her even when she is growling/shrieking at him, until i separate them.

I've tried distracting them with toys or food but he always stops and eventually runs straight for her. They've gotten into "tussles" - she will vocalize loudly and swipe at him (defensive posture) but he will just continue trying to get close to her (he's always silent during these encounters). Immediately following this (when I separate them) Iris bounces back quite quickly. Ra hides for a few moments but then also bounces back quite quickly.

For further info Iris is also taking a zylkene supplement and I am using feliway friends. Please help. Do they hate eachother? Is this totally hopeless?
 

susanm9006

Willow
Top Cat
Joined
Feb 20, 2011
Messages
13,151
Purraise
30,216
Location
Minnesota
I don’t think they hate one another. In fact it sounds like he really likes Her, unfortunately to the point of irritating her. After this very long introduction, I think it is time to let the two be together. This will help him settle down as the novelty of her presence wears off and she will get over the hissing. Provided they two don’t get into a howling, fur flying real fight, just let them be and see how it goes.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,577
Purraise
22,949
Location
Nebraska, USA
Females are naturally hissy, shrieking little bundles of fur when males bother them like that. Perfectly normal. Hissing, shrieking, growling, and swatting are all normal. If he is the aggressor, I would put him in a large wire dog cage and let them get more used to the other's movements and manners. Two boys become buddies and tussle, females are above all that. My female was a nervous mess and took longer than that until she finally had enough, really laid into the boys and they started leaving her alone. Fur flying is OK, as long as there is not blood and deep bites. Have stiff cardboard ready to stick between them if it gets out of hand. It all sounds pretty normal to me. The little female I have now shrieks, growls, and hisses every day when the boys get too close, and they are all 7 and 8 years old and her sons!
 

pauliecat333

TCS Member
Kitten
Joined
Apr 14, 2021
Messages
3
Purraise
0
This is good info. I’m new and have a similar situation. It’s been 9 months for us and my old boy will not let my younger one near him. Still lots of hissing from the older cat. At least they will nap in the same room sometimes, about 3-4 feet away from each other.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #6

Ghostemoji

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
6
Purraise
0
Females are naturally hissy, shrieking little bundles of fur when males bother them like that. Perfectly normal. Hissing, shrieking, growling, and swatting are all normal. If he is the aggressor, I would put him in a large wire dog cage and let them get more used to the other's movements and manners. Two boys become buddies and tussle, females are above all that. My female was a nervous mess and took longer than that until she finally had enough, really laid into the boys and they started leaving her alone. Fur flying is OK, as long as there is not blood and deep bites. Have stiff cardboard ready to stick between them if it gets out of hand. It all sounds pretty normal to me. The little female I have now shrieks, growls, and hisses every day when the boys get too close, and they are all 7 and 8 years old and her sons!
So fur flying is okay? Everywhere I've read says to separate them immediately if that happens. They've definitely never hurt eachother- all claws clipped and no one bites. Iris does yell bloody murder, though.

I'm just not sure how long I should let them "fight it out" for! I've never had two cats :( and due to work I still have to keep them separated for most of the day - I'm not sure what would happen if I wasn't supervising.
 
  • Thread Starter Thread Starter
  • #7

Ghostemoji

TCS Member
Thread starter
Kitten
Joined
Nov 2, 2020
Messages
6
Purraise
0
I don’t think they hate one another. In fact it sounds like he really likes Her, unfortunately to the point of irritating her. After this very long introduction, I think it is time to let the two be together. This will help him settle down as the novelty of her presence wears off and she will get over the hissing. Provided they two don’t get into a howling, fur flying real fight, just let them be and see how it goes.
Thanks for your reply!

The problem is that they do get into a howling fur flying fight. Well, the defensive cat howls. So far I basically have to be there supervising to split them up, because the younger cat eventually goes straight for her even if she's warning him to stay away.
 

di and bob

TCS Member
Top Cat
Joined
Dec 12, 2012
Messages
16,577
Purraise
22,949
Location
Nebraska, USA
It's really hard to know exactly what to do. The problem is he won't leave her alone until she teaches him limits. Break it up if it gets too long, she's trying to warn him and he won't listen! It took mine a good year before they finally called a truce. It may be that for yours. Lots of hissing is normal, he just won't listen and he has to.learn. I wouldn't leave them unsupervised yet either. If there is just fur flying, and no actual injury, maybe let them go at it a few minutes and see what happens. Sooner or later he has to give up!
 
Top