3 month week old female resident cat vs 2 month old male kitten

djduval92

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Sorry if this has been asked before, I went back a few pages- I just want reassurance
We have a resident 3 month old kitten, we got her at about 8 weeks old, although vet said she was weighing in at 9 weeks.
On Saturday we decided to adopt her a brother, he is fixed, and up to date on shots, cause she gets bored and I work full time as does my husband (he works from home, which helps a little but he still cannot play with her)

First day we brought him home, she hissed and growled at his scent. We kept him in a separate room over night just to give her space. The next day we had him out and about with her, she stayed in her cat hammock in the window and would watch and growl like she was scared. Then comes Monday, she is being herself again, but she still growls, hisses at him and will swat him if he gets to close to her when hes playing, she is also following him around and hissing at him, rather than running away like she use to. She did have a moment this morning where she followed him without hissing but that changed quickly lol
I make sure to give her attention first when I get home and we do not snuggle the new baby in front of her, I also make sure she gets her food first and give her extra lovins. When she growls or hiss, I calmly tell her its okay and when she is staring at him and not growling I give her a treat, but a minute later she will start growling again, I play with toys in between both of them and equally, but I constantly remind her its ok when attempting to play with the boy

We just bought feliway for multiple cats to see if that helps her too and have been scent swapping as much as we can as shes all over the place and never lays on one spot.
The little boy runs away when she hisses but ends up coming back, he does seem a little bit more weary of going in the living room where she resides now but still occasionally sneaks in there. He has never hissed back or anything.

I just want to make sure I am doing all I can to make her comfy, she is a tortie and I know they are infamous for attitudes and possessiveness thats why we decided getting her a friend while she is still a baby would be easiest lol the little boy is a silver tabby

Any input would be awesome!!

Also, separate from this, they both have a vet appointment at the same time on Saturday to get shots. Will this prevent her from being more mean to him cause he smells like the vet since she too will smell like the vet? I read online that cats can be mean to new cats when they come home from the vet

Thanks yall!!
 

Mr. Meow

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I'll start off by saying that even though they are kittens, the introduction was way too fast. If I read your post right, on the male kitten's second day in a new place, with new things and new smells, he was basically tossed right into another cat's territory - hence the constant hissing and swatting of your little girl.
While kittens usually need less time to acclimate, they still need to be introduced slowly to reduce anxiety, which could lead to other unwanted behaviors.
You can try taking a clean towel for each of them, rub them in the towel, then transfer the scent to the other kittens by rubbing the towels on the opposite one so they smell alike. This is an option for after the vet visit as well.
Just keep giving them both attention, treats, praise etc and they should work it out eventually.
 

ArtNJ

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I don't think its theoretically possible to mess up with kittens this young. Whatever you do, including just putting them together right away, two kittens this young will become friends on their own every time. Sometimes, it might take up to about a week, with some hissing, growling or hiding, but thats normal.

All of that said, I do agree with Mr. Meow Mr. Meow to some extent. Its best to start a new kitten in a safe room for at least 2-3 days, and longer if they are still massively skittish. Absent that, when they get scared, sometimes they hide in bad places like behind appliances. Some even get in the walls. So giving them somewhere they can feel safe before allowing free mixing is a good basic step.
 
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djduval92

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I appreciate the responses, we have a smaller house and the only bedroom we could keep little guy in is ours. He was never skittish and very exploratory and wants to play with my girl very bad.. He was meowing at the door within a hour of being at the house, so we felt horrible to keep him in there by himself while we worked after the first day we had him in there.
I kinda of had a feeling it was too quick but kept seeing people say kittens normally take to eachother quickly. She was with her litter mates 3 weeks ago so I figured that would have helped her adjust, but I'm not an expert obviously.
So just keep doing the rubbing them with eachothers scent and wait it out?

Thanks!
 
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djduval92

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Just to add, we never leave them alone together. My husband brings him in his office with him and takes time to go pet our resident cat and give her attention randomly without the boy during the day as well.
 

Mr. Meow

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Yep, just keep at it and you guys should be fine.
 

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I agree. It is a process.

Cats have a community scent. They recognize by scent first. You can try to speed up the process by letting him have a scratcher & bed in his room for a week or two. Then switch their scratchers and bed. Pet the kitten with the same clean unscented sock on your hand. Pet one kitten than the other. I have heard of putting a dab of pure vanilla extract on the back of the neck of each cat after a cat goes to a groomer or the vet. It might be worth a try. 🤷🏻‍♀️

⭐I have noticed male cat play is more of a rough and tumble wrestle. Whereas female cat play tends to be more hide and seek...... with a light bat or pounce, then running away. Getting him a large sized kickeroo you can sorta wrestle him with might help once they are more buddy buddy. (I wrestle my boy with my hand under a thick blanket but I have to let him win. 🙄)

Take tons of pictures & videos; they grow up so fast!
 
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djduval92

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I will definitely try that! I cant wait to take pictures of them together, they are so adorable. 20210116_165205.jpg 20201223_182519.jpg
 

ArtNJ

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Personally, at the point your at, I'd just leave them together 24/7. Within a day, maybe two, you'll get your wish. I have never heard of a kitten giving another kitten a bite wound. It doesn't happen. They might growl and hiss a bit when they are nervous, but will ony "fight" when they are ready to play, which will be very very soon. So there is no real need to supervise unless one kitten is so nervous its *constantly* under the bed and won't eat or use the box.

The reason "When Harry Met Sally" is a 1 hour and 36 minute movie is because they keep running into each other for a few minutes at a time. If someone put them together in an apartment non-stop, you could get the highlights down to about 4 minutes and put it on youtube.
 
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djduval92

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I told my husband today to let him free rather than locking him in the office with him and just listen. Yea the boy definitely isn't scared of her, he runs if she hisses but comes right back to where he was before to explore. Half the time she only hisses when he looks at her lol never if she's sniffing his back end or behind him
 
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djduval92

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Also, love that reference!!
 
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