2 New Kittens Bonding With Each Other, Not Me - Ideas?


TCS Member
Thread starter
Jul 24, 2017
A litter over 2 weeks ago I got two sister littermate ragdolls. The are so cute. Since I am a multi cat household, they got a room away for a week. I visited them and spent time with them. In retrospect I should have slipt in there so they would bond more. Now, they are out in the house, getting to know my other rescues. They play like crazy with each, but somewhat ignore me. They will play with me or a toy together, but don't seem to want to be held or nap with me. If I pick them up, they squirm away. I'm so very used to affectionate cats. They are now 10 weeks old. I am now frantically trying to spend every moment bonding and getting frustrated by their inattention.

-Have I waited too long to bond?
-Being too impatient?
-Are they just too young still?
-Suggestions for further bonding?
-Ragdolls are known for their affection, how can I stimulate this?
Any ideas, feedback or support is appreciated. I feel like my kitties don't love me.



TCS Member
Feb 27, 2015
The kitty playground
Hi, and welcome to TCS :wave3:

You haven't waited to bond too long at all. It's simply that two littermates, especially ones so young, are naturally going to depend on each other first and you second. I recently adopted a pair of littermates too, and their bond with each other is very strong indeed. They love us too, but they've been with each other their whole lives - that bond cannot be broken...and nor would I want it to be :winkcat:

Remember, too, that kittens are little bundles of energy, and won't necessarily want to spend time causing when they could be playing! Don't force the cuddle time right nie. Instead worth on bonding with them via interactive playtime. Stay with them whilst they eat too - the more good things they associate you with, the faster they'll bond to you.

I'm also thinking about their age. I went to visit my boys several times before they came home at 13 weeks old. They were definitely at their most cuddly at 13-17 weeks. Before that, they were more interested in playing and exploring, and wriggled when held for more than a minute at most. Then they got very cuddly and loved being held for snuggles. Now, at nearly 20 weeks, they're more interested in exploring again, and are more wriggly when held (unless very sleepy). My guys are still shut away at night (they have too much of a genius for getting into trouble to trust overnight - they even had my bedroom curtain rail down yesterday!:devilcat:), and they're definitely cuddlsome first thing in the morning and last thing at night. If it won't upset your other cats too much, why not go back to confining them at night so you can sleep with them?

Watch their behaviour patterns, and take note of their sleepy/nap times. Try settling down with them quietly when they're settling down to sleep - that's when they're most likely to snuggle :zzzcat: Let them come to you, and be patient. Not all cats like being picked up for snuggles either - I've had many like that. It doesn't mean that they love me any less, just that they show their affection in different ways :lovecat:My ex-feral girl HATES being picked up, but is a confirmed lap cat, and demands my lap at every opportunity!

You have two absolutely gorgeous little girls there :lovecat3: Enjoy them for who they are :winkcat:


TCS Member
Dec 15, 2017
I can say from first hand experience that my two littermate kittens, now older are not bonded to us. I got one kitten at 8 weeks and she was bonding to is very well, at 11 weeks we went ahead and got her sister. Big mistake! They never left each other’s hip, after that we couldn’t get either to come near us on less they was being fed. The first sister we brought how was so sweet and affectionate but as soon as her sister came here all that changed and we couldn’t even get the new sister to come near us to get to know us. We didn’t get the second one because no one is ever home and she needed a playmate because I’m a stay at home mom, but rather since the first was showing so much love and affection we decided to get her sister. I will never get two kittens at the same time again, I would rather have my cat bonded to me than have a two feeding machines that I can’t even bond or interact with and get hissed at every time I go to pet. That is what we are left with!!!!!!!!


TCS Member
Adult Cat
Sep 20, 2016
Try not to over read things.
To my 18 month female there is no greater crime than unsolicited affection. She will escape any and all affection she hasn't requested. But if I ignore her or close a door or talk to neighbours she's all up in my business.
Don't try to force it, it'll have the opposite effect.
Leave them be, let them come to you. Use treats to modify and reward behaviour that you like. Pay extra attention to your older cats and watch the kittens go "what about me"?