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2 cats got along fine up until 24 hours ago, now they hate the sight of one another
- Thread starter hesster
- Start Date
Yay. That has to be a huge relief. I'm so happy for all of you.
Hello everyone, I have stumbled upon this post and after reading through, found some hope that all is not lost!!! I have a very similar problem with my two cats and need some advice from professionals 
.
I have two adopted strays, a male and a female, both neutered, mild tempered and cuddly. Both were brought in at a short distance period when they were a couple months old and have always got together very well. First introduction took just one day, probably 'cause they were both young age kittens. They became the best friends, sleeping together, grooming each other, sharing a litter box, eating side by side (separate bowls), the works!
Until the unfortunate situation when the male (Ginger, who is a very gentle, easygoing and pretty lazy cat) got scared from a loud noise, ran like crazy and, I assume since I didn't quite see what exactly happened, either abruptly ran into the female in the hallway and got her startled or maybe even attacked her, somehow, but the result was that they got into a totally crazy fight, I have never seen them get at each other like that before, it was really scary and intense. I have managed to shut the door between them and since then they have been separated in different rooms by a semi transparent glass door. This was two months ago now.
It was only the female (Blacky) attacking him, it seemed like she was determined to eliminate him Blacky is generally an easily scared and twitchy cat since the time she had an accident when she was a kitten. They have been playing and somehow knocked over a giant mirror which fell on her and gave her a concussion and a near death experience. I guess this was a pretty big trauma and made her a bit nervous and cowardly. But nevertheless she is very gentle, cuddly, a true little lady cat
I got advice from various vets, have Googled everything about the step by step reintroduction and have done all the steps as advised, exchanging smells, opening the door just a crack, feeding them at either side of the door, making sure that they have only the positive associations with each other.....I don't have an impression that we have rushed them somehow... Even tried Feliway, but unfortunately only could acquire spray and not evaporator. We practically did all of it, and it took a while.
We are at the stage now, since couple of weeks ago, that they can be in the same room together, but only under strict supervision. They eat together side by side play next to each other, with us, but not with each other.... Basically can stand being close but only if we entertain them with something, food, toys... But the moment we let them be, the female gets nervous and after a while hisses at him trying to hit him, when we have to either separate them or distract them somehow... She is probably trying to intimidate him and make him understand that she is "the boss" now. He is very passive about it, walks or looks away, doesn't try to hit back. Still she goes at him. It really seems like she is mad at him and really holds a grudge... My concern now is how to move them past this stage. How do I get her to like him again??
We try all the time to pet them together, equally, get them food and treats, play around the clock but nothing seems to work in the long run. As soon as we let them do their own thing she starts to pick a fight with him...
Sorry about the waaaay too long post but I am trying to describe the situation form all angles since we are getting pretty desperate by now. We don't want to even think about the option of sending one away, at least until we have to, but I am starting to loose hope... 
I forgot to mention that they are indoor cats and also since we live in a rather small apartment there isn't any room to create separate living spaces for them...
Hope to hear from someone, thanks for advice in advance
Oh, and here is a photo of them before all hell broke loose!
.I have two adopted strays, a male and a female, both neutered, mild tempered and cuddly. Both were brought in at a short distance period when they were a couple months old and have always got together very well. First introduction took just one day, probably 'cause they were both young age kittens. They became the best friends, sleeping together, grooming each other, sharing a litter box, eating side by side (separate bowls), the works!
Until the unfortunate situation when the male (Ginger, who is a very gentle, easygoing and pretty lazy cat) got scared from a loud noise, ran like crazy and, I assume since I didn't quite see what exactly happened, either abruptly ran into the female in the hallway and got her startled or maybe even attacked her, somehow, but the result was that they got into a totally crazy fight, I have never seen them get at each other like that before, it was really scary and intense. I have managed to shut the door between them and since then they have been separated in different rooms by a semi transparent glass door. This was two months ago now.
It was only the female (Blacky) attacking him, it seemed like she was determined to eliminate him
Blacky is generally an easily scared and twitchy cat since the time she had an accident when she was a kitten. They have been playing and somehow knocked over a giant mirror which fell on her and gave her a concussion and a near death experience. I guess this was a pretty big trauma and made her a bit nervous and cowardly. But nevertheless she is very gentle, cuddly, a true little lady cat I got advice from various vets, have Googled everything about the step by step reintroduction and have done all the steps as advised, exchanging smells, opening the door just a crack, feeding them at either side of the door, making sure that they have only the positive associations with each other.....I don't have an impression that we have rushed them somehow... Even tried Feliway, but unfortunately only could acquire spray and not evaporator. We practically did all of it, and it took a while.
We are at the stage now, since couple of weeks ago, that they can be in the same room together, but only under strict supervision. They eat together side by side play next to each other, with us, but not with each other.... Basically can stand being close but only if we entertain them with something, food, toys... But the moment we let them be, the female gets nervous and after a while hisses at him trying to hit him, when we have to either separate them or distract them somehow... She is probably trying to intimidate him and make him understand that she is "the boss" now. He is very passive about it, walks or looks away, doesn't try to hit back. Still she goes at him. It really seems like she is mad at him and really holds a grudge... My concern now is how to move them past this stage. How do I get her to like him again??
We try all the time to pet them together, equally, get them food and treats, play around the clock but nothing seems to work in the long run. As soon as we let them do their own thing she starts to pick a fight with him...
Sorry about the waaaay too long post but I am trying to describe the situation form all angles
since we are getting pretty desperate by now. We don't want to even think about the option of sending one away, at least until we have to, but I am starting to loose hope... I forgot to mention that they are indoor cats and also since we live in a rather small apartment there isn't any room to create separate living spaces for them...
Hope to hear from someone, thanks for advice in advance
Oh, and here is a photo of them before all hell broke loose!
Oh, Melanika, I know what you're going through. I think that Blacky was traumatized by your male, and now has a huge distrust of him, even though he seems to be calm around her. I think at this point, you should consider some medication for her, just to relieve her anxiety until she can trust him again. Please don't make the mistake that I did. I had exactly the same situation, and ended up giving my male away. I was heartbroken over it (couldn't sleep or eat the whole time he was gone), so I begged the rescue group where I had returned him to let me have him back. He had been gone for 3 months. The separation didn't really help and they are still separated in my home, but at least I have him back. You are in a better position because they are not strangers to each other as mine are now. I honestly believe that medication is necessary in your case because your little Blacky cannot forget what happened to her. Please don't give up. I believe the pain of giving one away will be far greater than the stress of what you're going through now. Keep putting them together for very short periods, and the minute you see any tension, separate them. If you put Blacky on medication, it will take at least two weeks for it to have an effect on her. Please don't lose hope and keep us posted!
Hey Aislinn, thanks for your concern and kind words.
Here is a little update, things are looking a bit better at the moment, I am happy to report
In the last few days my husband and I had some more free time from work and managed to get the cats to spend more time together during the day than we usually managed, so that really helped. They are much calmer around each other now, there is still hissing but not so dramatic and frequent as before. We decided to power through and not separate them when the hissing starts (unless it was really bad) but to be persistent with it, to calm them down and distract them instead if possible. I was very unnerving at first, but, bit by bit, it got a little better. We noticed that it is much more effective to let them be together during the day when they would normally sleep so that they are calmer, instead of the evening when we usually come home from work and they are all wired up and hungry... So hopefully if we manage to keep this up things should hopefully get back to normal. I realize there is still a long way to go but we will definitely keep at it.
As for the medication, what would you suggest? I am sure that would help a lot!
We live in Belgrade,Serbia so there is not much variety in pet products. There is no behavioral specialists for cats, for example, this is a very dog friendly country
One vet suggested Valerian Drops since they are natural remedy and I have tried that with them for a couple of days, but, as she said not all cats are influenced by it and I didn't notice any major effect, perhaps Ginger got a bit dozy but he is a sleepy cat anyways so I can't be sure... Maybe I will try that again...
Anyways, thanks for all the advice, I will keep you posted and share some pointers again if we make more progress...
Cheers!!!
Here is a little update, things are looking a bit better at the moment, I am happy to report
In the last few days my husband and I had some more free time from work and managed to get the cats to spend more time together during the day than we usually managed, so that really helped. They are much calmer around each other now, there is still hissing but not so dramatic and frequent as before. We decided to power through and not separate them when the hissing starts (unless it was really bad) but to be persistent with it, to calm them down and distract them instead if possible. I was very unnerving at first, but, bit by bit, it got a little better. We noticed that it is much more effective to let them be together during the day when they would normally sleep so that they are calmer, instead of the evening when we usually come home from work and they are all wired up and hungry... So hopefully if we manage to keep this up things should hopefully get back to normal. I realize there is still a long way to go but we will definitely keep at it.
As for the medication, what would you suggest? I am sure that would help a lot!
We live in Belgrade,Serbia so there is not much variety in pet products. There is no behavioral specialists for cats, for example, this is a very dog friendly country
One vet suggested Valerian Drops since they are natural remedy and I have tried that with them for a couple of days, but, as she said not all cats are influenced by it and I didn't notice any major effect, perhaps Ginger got a bit dozy but he is a sleepy cat anyways so I can't be sure...
Maybe I will try that again... Anyways, thanks for all the advice, I will keep you posted and share some pointers again if we make more progress...
Cheers!!!
Hi Milenika, it all sounds like things are going in the right direction. Very promising! It will take time, and hopefully, there won't be any setbacks. The more time they spend together, the less the stress levels between them. The medication that was prescribed for my cats is called Amitriptyline, which is tre generic version of Elavil. It is an anti-anxiety medication prescribed for humans. I would normally prefer going the natural route, but tried valerian with no luck as they would not touch it. I also break a melatonin capsule and mix it into their wet food, which they don't appear to notice. That also calms them a bit. I still have a long way to go, but I am determined to make this work. Your story is a success, in my opinion. As long as you and your husband stay calm, the cats will mirror your energy and should eventually relax in each other's company. Just keep an eye on their interactions at all times, and if there is any sign of aggression, apart from hissing, intervene right away and separate them immediately. The key is to make every encounter a positive one or you'll have to start from scratch. Please keep me posted. I love to hear the updates.
Hi Aislinn,
it's been awhile but I thought I should write a few lines on the subject and give some updates...
In the last 6 months we have managed to get the felines to "coexist", with a lot of ups and downs on the way. The best advice was to try medication, and thank you for that We have been giving them Zylkene and CalmVet and that helped a lot. It has some natural substances so it is safe to use for as long as needed, much recommended, by the way!
But, it helped to a certain point. They had periods when things were totally back to normal, sleeping next to each other, grooming each other etc... But a couple of times they had a complete set back. Some noises made her startled and she immediately went for him. It is as if she will forever hold a grudge and now after 9 months there is no doubt that this will most probably never change. Whenever this happened we had to separate them and do the whole process of reintroduction from the start... It took less time to reintroduce them than the first time (this is probably due to us being more experienced now ), but it also seems to me that now it takes much smaller occurrences to get her all agitated and severely attack him... For example the last two attacks were because he merely "hopped" closed to her...
So I am sad to say that we are starting to consider the possibility of giving one away since we are all suffering in this climate, as much as this is killing me to even think about...
As a last resort I am trying to find some more advice on how to get them to love each other again and if there is someone out there that can help please do! We were advised once to try and put them both in some sort of cat guest house for a while to try to get them to stick together among other unfamiliar cats, but I am feeling a bit iffy about this 'cause it might be even more traumatic for them... Do you have any thoughts about this?
it's been awhile but I thought I should write a few lines on the subject and give some updates...
In the last 6 months we have managed to get the felines to "coexist", with a lot of ups and downs on the way. The best advice was to try medication, and thank you for that
We have been giving them Zylkene and CalmVet and that helped a lot. It has some natural substances so it is safe to use for as long as needed, much recommended, by the way! But, it helped to a certain point. They had periods when things were totally back to normal, sleeping next to each other, grooming each other etc... But a couple of times they had a complete set back. Some noises made her startled and she immediately went for him. It is as if she will forever hold a grudge and now after 9 months there is no doubt that this will most probably never change. Whenever this happened we had to separate them and do the whole process of reintroduction from the start... It took less time to reintroduce them than the first time (this is probably due to us being more experienced now
), but it also seems to me that now it takes much smaller occurrences to get her all agitated and severely attack him... For example the last two attacks were because he merely "hopped" closed to her... So I am sad to say that we are starting to consider the possibility of giving one away since we are all suffering in this climate, as much as this is killing me to even think about...
As a last resort I am trying to find some more advice on how to get them to love each other again and if there is someone out there that can help please do! We were advised once to try and put them both in some sort of cat guest house for a while to try to get them to stick together among other unfamiliar cats, but I am feeling a bit iffy about this 'cause it might be even more traumatic for them... Do you have any thoughts about this?
Hi Milenika,
Your story actually sounds encouraging. Please don't give up. It will take more time. I know from experience that giving one cat away will break your heart. I made that mistake, but was fortunate that the rescue group allowed me to take him back. One other suggestion is to try a medication called Elavil, which is an anti-anxiety medication. Both cats would take a low dose, wrapped in a pill pocket. It will help take the edge off. I don't agree with taking them outside to board. That will not solve the problem, and will make it worse. There is still a fear there because of the attack, so trust must be rebuilt. You can only get to that point with medication and positive reinforcement. Both cats should also have their own safe territory, so perhaps separate them throughout the day when they are both calm. Like humans, they too need their own space from time to time. I hope you will still try to make this work because giving one up will be traumatic for the cat, and you as well. Please keep me posted. One more thing, buy some Bach Rescue Remedy for pets. You put a few drops in their water. They sell it on Amazon. And one more thing - keep their food bowls in separate areas. Cats prefer to eat in their own space. Have water bowls in separate areas throughout the house too. Too much togetherness can cause anxiety as well.
Please keep me updated! Don't lose hope!
Your story actually sounds encouraging. Please don't give up. It will take more time. I know from experience that giving one cat away will break your heart. I made that mistake, but was fortunate that the rescue group allowed me to take him back. One other suggestion is to try a medication called Elavil, which is an anti-anxiety medication. Both cats would take a low dose, wrapped in a pill pocket. It will help take the edge off. I don't agree with taking them outside to board. That will not solve the problem, and will make it worse. There is still a fear there because of the attack, so trust must be rebuilt. You can only get to that point with medication and positive reinforcement. Both cats should also have their own safe territory, so perhaps separate them throughout the day when they are both calm. Like humans, they too need their own space from time to time. I hope you will still try to make this work because giving one up will be traumatic for the cat, and you as well. Please keep me posted. One more thing, buy some Bach Rescue Remedy for pets. You put a few drops in their water. They sell it on Amazon. And one more thing - keep their food bowls in separate areas. Cats prefer to eat in their own space. Have water bowls in separate areas throughout the house too. Too much togetherness can cause anxiety as well.
Please keep me updated! Don't lose hope!
I too have had a situation that is causing me stress. 2 brothers, age 2-3, fixed, lived together in harmony for couple years. We went on vacation, as we have before with no problems. This time we come back and Older cat A is aggressive with cat B and hiss/growl. It's been a week and they can be in same room fine. They even walk by each other fine sometimes and sleep within 4 feet at times. But sometimes cat A will face off and it's hiss/growl/swipe again. I feel like he is growing and establishing dominance? I really want them to be friends again. While it's gotten better, it's still not back to normal and I'd like advice on getting them over the hump.
Hi Monty5D
It sounds to me like something happened while you were away. Quite possibly a stray cat appeared at a window and Cat B who was spooked, reacted by attacking Cat A. Something definitely triggered a reaction. Something could have fallen to the floor, or they heard a loud noise. Now Cat A is afraid of Cat B, thinking he will attack again, so he growls and hisses to let him know not to approach. The best thing you can do is provide praise and treats when they are peacefully together. When you see growling and hissing, don't yell or raise your voice as it will only escalate the fear. Try to calmly ease Cat A's stress by talking to him until he calms down. Cats can detect our energy, and if we're stressed, they become stressed. You should consider getting some herbal Bach Rescue Remedy for pets, and putting it in their water bowls as well. That helps calm them down. I think your cats will be fine as they can still be in the same room and sleep together, which is a great sign. Just keep calm around them and intervene when necessary. It's all about Cat A regaining his trust in Cat B. Don't lose hope!
It sounds to me like something happened while you were away. Quite possibly a stray cat appeared at a window and Cat B who was spooked, reacted by attacking Cat A. Something definitely triggered a reaction. Something could have fallen to the floor, or they heard a loud noise. Now Cat A is afraid of Cat B, thinking he will attack again, so he growls and hisses to let him know not to approach. The best thing you can do is provide praise and treats when they are peacefully together. When you see growling and hissing, don't yell or raise your voice as it will only escalate the fear. Try to calmly ease Cat A's stress by talking to him until he calms down. Cats can detect our energy, and if we're stressed, they become stressed. You should consider getting some herbal Bach Rescue Remedy for pets, and putting it in their water bowls as well. That helps calm them down. I think your cats will be fine as they can still be in the same room and sleep together, which is a great sign. Just keep calm around them and intervene when necessary. It's all about Cat A regaining his trust in Cat B. Don't lose hope!
Update to post #30. After a week and 2 days, Cat A went back to normal and the two brothers are friends again. This lasted a week or more and all was normal. Cuddling, grooming, playing normally etc. Then today randomly cat A was again aggressive, growling all over again. I separated them me kept them apart all day. Now after 7hrs or so I let them back in together and all seems well. No growling etc. I'm just trying to understand the behavior here as it's quite puzzling. Do I just need to accept that not unlike humans, cats can get into fights and not be happy with each other at times?
