14 month old cat still hiding from me and can't touch her after 7 weeks. :(

[artyjill]

II am a bit confused, my kitten after bringing her home from breeder rang into my bedroom and hid somewhere in my painting corner, still don't know were about she is but hear her in the corner, She is 14 months old and have had her 7 weeks. Still sleeping all day and out playing all night. Eats well and comes from bedroom to use box. She stands at my open door and looks fine but if she see's me looking at her she runs away into bedroom and if she is anywhere she runs in fear away from me

I was reading different views on the web and a lot said you can only socialize cats from 4 months to  7months and after that she would stay the same as now. Then reading a it on here and it was saying you can socialize them anytime Is this right as reading only having so many months has got me down. We have gone a bit backwards just lately. Should l just keep on doing the same or do different.

 

[StefanZ]

 
II am a bit confused, my kitten after bringing her home from breeder rang into my bedroom and hid somewhere in my painting corner, still don't know were about she is but hear her in the corner, She is 14 months old and have had her 7 weeks. Still sleeping all day and out playing all night. Eats well and comes from bedroom to use box. She stands at my open door and looks fine but if she see's me looking at her she runs away into bedroom and if she is anywhere she runs in fear away from me

I was reading different views on the web and a lot said you can only socialize cats from 4 months to  7months and after that she would stay the same as now. Then reading a it on here and it was saying you can socialize them anytime Is this right as reading only having so many months has got me down. We have gone a bit backwards just lately. Should l just keep on doing the same or do different.

The recommendation mean actually weeks, not months.

But its true, you can socailize them almost anytime. But it takes more time and effort.

You took her in from a breeder - what is her exact story?  Was she kept in cage the whole time??    Otherwise it would be peculiar a breeder uses someone for breeding who is shy.   even to her owner.

Anyways, just to proceed to work with her shyness. Come often to her with food and treats.  So small portions, but often so she see its you coming with them.  Change her litter so she sees it.

Talk softly with a friendly voice, and talk much... No raised nor loud voice. No raised hands, no threatening.

Sit down on the floor.  Or lay down where she is, and read perhaps, or use your surfpad laying down.   With a little luck she may come forward and even lay down at your feet.

Do not try to carry her around or pet too long.   Do try, but let her go immediately she hints she wants to go.  To pet it is often easier to do it when they are laying down comfortably on a chair or a sofa.  Many fo the shy dont like much at all to be petted standing on the floor....

You can get ideas from our subforum for Strays and Ferales,

but I will  ask a mod to move this your post to our subforum for Behavior.

Good luck!

 

[jennyr]

She should be socialised if she has come from a good breeder. But all kittens will be scared for a while in a new home. The advice above is good but one thing stood out in your post - you say she runs when you look at her. This is because looking directly at her means a threat to her - a direct stare is aggressive, especially when it comes from someone so much bigger than her. It is especially bad if you do it when entering a room as you are also blocking her means of escape. So do not look at her, but just to the side of her and blink at her slowly - this means 'I am not a threat to you' and it is more likely to calm her down. And make sure she always has access to a safe place. I am sure she will come round in time.

 

[artyjill]

Hi

Thanks for the answer. The breeder had them all in a cattery down at the bottom of garden, they were on cat trees looking out the window. The only thing Daisy has done each night is go onto the window sill and look out. If l look at her getting on the sill she just runs away so am  looking at a book or  online.. If l go to another room and she is there she runs so fast back to her safe room my bedroom. A few days ago she started making a moaning noise and if l answer her she goes quiet. Was wondering if she is on heat.

She sleeps more than anything else, all day then naps a few times in the evening then wide awake all night.. Would just like her to let me stroke her and just have sat beside me.

I can't lay like you said as can hardly walk, only about 6 steps. As l am in mostly l got her for company and to play with had lost my Persian last xmas, This is just getting me down,have bought her a lot of interactive toys for her she looks once then never bothers again.

The breeder showed me her through cattery widow and she was kissing her but when l got home l was sure it wasn't the kitten i had and that was before l knew her problems, l am sure it was her mother because it was big and fur was longer as wind blew it up, After l had her 3 weeks she said she would send her husband to pick her up, he came and was shining a huge lamp about and couldn't find her so went really cross then got a nasty email from the breeder telling me her husband was mad as though it was my fault, Daisy wouldn't let him catch her anyway.

Sorry a bitt long.

 

[jennyr]

I hate to say it, but I think that breeder may not be all she should be. If you are not too attached to the kitten (and it sounds as if you are not) then I would be inclined at having another go at returning her and get your money back. In your health situation, you need a kitten who has been raised in a family environment and is fully socialised, and you need to handle the kitten yourself if possible before taking it home. Most ethical breeders would do both these things as a matter of course. If you are attached, then I am sure the kitten will come round in time, but it could take several months, and you will almost have to treat her as a rescue cat who has little prior knowledge of humans. I had a cat once who lived behind the sofa for 6 months before I could touch her, and she became very affectionate eventually, but it was hard work.

 

[Winchester]

Have you tried sitting down on the floor of your bedroom and just talking? Calmly and soothingly. Talk about the weather, tell her what a pretty girl she is, tell her about your day, just talk to her. Spend some time just talking. Get her used to the sound of you voice. Sit and chat. Talk to her while you're cleaning her box. Talk to her while you're putting her food and water down. Gently throw her a mousie. Or how about a Da Bird or other interactive toy? Just gently...don't go crazy with the toy. 

Have you been able to hold her? Have you been able to do anything with her? She plays at night....does she jump on your bed? Are you able to have any interaction with her at all?

 

[artyjill]

I have started looking away from her but l will do the blinking as well She only just comes to the opening of the room. I haven't got a door as being disabled l can get around better. She comes in the room a bit more when l keep turned away from her.l don't think i have been 3ft away from her since l got her.. When she is awake l am talking to her all the time. The breeder l got her from advised me to ignore her for 6 weeks. I didn't get to one evening as l just forgot to ignore her. I used to talk to my Persian who died at Xmas aged 14 yrs old all the time.. The TV is on as well but l am not watching it in the day just use it for back ground sound.

Is the sleeping all day and awake all night to do with her being scared She's started making a loud moaning sound a few days ago, its quiet loud as it wakes me up, if l don't  make a sound like it she will go on for ages but as soon as she hears me she gets quieter and stops. It feels like she is checking up were l am. But could she be on heat.

   Jill

 

[artyjill]

I forgot you asked about the breeder, Daisy that  l got was born in a cattery at the bottom of the garden. The breeder said she was the smallest British short hair kitten she had ever seen. She was left there with other cats some of them she was breeding from and some were for shows. Here siblings were sold first and she said  she was keeping my kitten with her mother and female so that's why l got her at 14 months old.

Jill

 

[artyjill]

After reading again about staring at her l wondered if my glasss that are bright red and fairly big bother her, it sounds a bit silly now l have typed it but it could affect her, what d you think.

    Jill

 

[StefanZ]

 
Is the sleeping all day and awake all night to do with her being scared She's started making a loud moaning sound a few days ago, its quiet loud as it wakes me up, if l don't  make a sound like it she will go on for ages but as soon as she hears me she gets quieter and stops. It feels like she is checking up were l am. But could she be on heat.

   Jill

Cats are essentially nocturnal.  They do get used to their owners and friends faciers, and become themselves daytime.  And she apparently wasnt properly socialized, being in the cat room.    BUT, as it sounds, I think she is beginning to come around.  She IS being trying to communicate with you, checking where you are and such.

If she isnt spayed, she may be in heat too.  Which isnt necessary a bad thing, it may be a way to quicken up her being friends with you.    Although pet qualtity cats are usually spayed / neutered before they become of age, the breeder should do it.   Ask perhaps?

Anyways, I think she is beginning to be more personal with you.  It takes time.

 
After reading again about staring at her l wondered if my glasss that are bright red and fairly big bother her, it sounds a bit silly now l have typed it but it could affect her, what d you think.

    Jill

Yes, this with glasses may have an influence - she being a little afraid on them, dont yet knowing what it is really.

 

[artyjill]

I have been trying to take her back buts its difficult on two points and first one is that l think the world of her after having her for 7 weeks but secondly l need someone to take me as the breeder lives an hour away from me. When l picked her up  a carer took me but someone told her job and she got into trouble so won't go again. I have emailed to 6 pet carriers and one replied but told me they couldn't take me and they couldn't collect my £350 from the breeder so am just stuck. The breeder sent me a horible emai and said she wouldn't collect her l had to take her and she knows its difficult for me. I would pay for someone  if they could take me.It would be hard as l just want her to get better a little bit just so l know things were changing Anyone know of somewhere that could help me, Anyone  from the UK have any ideas l would be very grateful.

l didn't know she would have these problems and have had cats all my life and Abbie my red point Persian  that died at Xmas aged16 yrs was nervous when i got her  as she flew out a cardboard carrier to behind a bookcase and stayed there two weeks and l fed her through a shelf with a long spoon but my cats before were fine.

I have since heard that two other cats from the breeder were the same as Daisy

                        Jill

 

[artyjill]

I have talked to Daisy all the time when she is awake, have bought her loads of toys. I feed her and give her treats but one thing l can't do is lie down in the bedroom she is mostly in. I am disabled so can't kneel down or lay down as people are telling me to do. I named her and she knows it now.

When l bought her l didn't get to touch her as breeder was inside the cattery showing me though the window and she put her in the carrier and gave her to me. When she comes out the bedroom she looks at me from the hall and then starts rolling all over and looks happy as larry and were she sites is a round red rug which she hasrolled on and clawed so now its a shaggy red rug,

   Jill.

 

[mimibky]

This is a tough case for sure,

I am not sure if you have heard of Jackson Galaxy, he is a well-known feline analyst.

You should try slowly approaching the cat while talking in a soothing voice, try to look her in the eye and blink slowly, keep doing that every time you see her, when you feel a blink back or some facial action, try to approach her. Also, have you tried treats? its alwasy difficult for sure but it could be done!

watch this video, might help, also check out his other videos:


Goodluck!

 

[artyjill]

Thank you for your post and giving me answers that cheered me up, as had one reply that more or less said l shouldn't have got her with being disable but l didn't know. she was like this. She does talk to me as she has just woke up and she started me- owing straight away and l answer and she is happy then and goes back to sleep. Have never had a talkative cat before but its really lovely.

Thanks for the help,

     Jill

 

[artyjill]

Thanks for the  email. Thing is l am attached to her, have tied not to be but l can't, l just don't want to give up on her. Your cat that lived behind the sofa gave me some joy that it can be done.

Have just though if members that have socialized a cat could put down on a list as things do get forgotten. I would print it out and put it on my notice board and it would be andy for other people that have cats with behaver problems.

Jill

 

[jennyr]

It does sound as if you are making progress, and that you are attached to her. It would certainly be better for her to stay with you rather than going back tot he cattery in the garden! And she seems happy to be at your home. Wand toys are good and you can use them standing up or sitting on the sofa. Very few cats and kittens can resist them and they gradually bring her closer to you. Put a used shirt or towel of yours under her bed and even under her food bowl to get her more used to your smell and to associate it with good things. And do talk to her - that is important, all the time, about nothing, to get her fully accustomed to you. It will happen, she is not a bad cat in any way, just one who is not sure of who or where she is or what she is meant to do. One day she will suddenly discover that humans are fun to be around, and HER human in particular is the source of all good things and comfort in her life.

 

[jan berry]

There is a series called My Cat From Bell that addresses behaviour issues. I've learned a lot from watching it on these issues. You can see it on Animal planet and on the www. I think I wouldn't leave food out for your kitty but place it on the floor a few feet in front of you. Then sit or lay quietly by it and make eye contact (very important) with your kitty when it comes to eat. Make sure that your kitty blinks when looking directly at you as that means she is reLaxing in your presence.
I recently got a new cat and had to use cat treats in a little trail from under the bed to just out from under it for a week while I laid on the floor to get him to come out and be social. After a week, I could just put a few at the foot of the bed and he would come right out for the night. Several days later he was meeting me at the door.
My thanks to Jackson Galaxy and My Cat From Hell.

 

[jan berry]

After reading further, with your health issues you can modify getting in the floor with Daisy by feeding her on the sofa or on the bed where you could lay down. This isn't a good long term fix but if it got your relationship with Daisy on level footing then putting her food on a tray on the bed might be a good start. Really if you get a chance to see My Cat From Hell, Jackson Galaxy demonstrates this as it's how he meets each cat he works with. The howling sounds like she's either looking for you or looking for a boyfriend.
As a single senior with a bad back, I understand your situation and that she's good company. I'm sorry about the loss of your fur baby. I lost my Sasha on Christmas Eve, she was 13-1/2 it makes for a very sad holiday. I do so hope things improve with you and Daisy so that this difficult time becomes well worth the struggle. Best wishes

 

[artyjill]

Thanks for the lovely post. I think we have got a little further than when l bought Daisy back home, she had at first the most awful terrified look and as she ran back into the bedroom she kept turning her head as if l was chasing her her but we don't get that a lot now.

.Last night while l was asleep she much have gone mad playing in the room as there was cat fur all over, the hall rug has nearly had it as she seems to like rugs to play with

but there not new and l don't want to be strict now so any playing is good to see.

  Jillx

 

[artyjill]

Thank you for the kind post. ;Last night she was really talkative and i am sure she is checking up were i am She does it a lot from the bedroom which is her room and l am in room which is the room across from her and she will carry on if l don't answer in the same way then it gets quieter till she stops. It make me laugh if my answering sounds a bit odd sometimes but she answer,s the same way and it sounds so funny,

           jill