11 month old spayed female cat scared of a 1 year old neutered male cat

[teresa64]

please can anyone help? my daughter has a female spayed cat,pickles, who is 11 months & shes had her for about 4 months now.then 2 weeks ago she got a 1 year old male cat,jasper.pickles didnt like him & was hissing at him.so she got jasper neutered a week later & she hasnt hissed as much as before,but she still does on ocassions & then last night my daughter found out that the pickles is scared of jasper,we cant figure out why as jasper is a big softy & wants to play.my daughter got jasper so that pickles would have a playmate.so please has anyone have any tips or suggestions?

 

[catspaw66]

Welcome to TCS.

How did you introduce the male and female? Did you use anything like this?  www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats  You might want to separate them for a few days and start over.  Jasper smelled at first like big macho male, then like vet's office and now like neutered cat. If they are not actively fighting, you can reintroduce them faster or maybe not have to separate them at all.

Sorry, the link isn't working, but it is in the articles section under Cat Behavior.

 

[teresa64]

jasper is in the bedroom & pickles is in the living room, have been like that for 2wks now.she has been giving them the same attention (playing with both). everyday she has been leaving the bedroom door open & jasper wonders out.at first pickles hissed at him & he ran away.but the last few days after being neutered he has started standing up for himself & gave pickles her own medicine back. he is a big softy & wants to play. pickles doesnt mind jasper using her litter tray & she plays with her toys after jasper has played with them. she watches him walk around. last night my daughter told me that jasper chased pickles round the settee then when she saw jasper in the bedroom she hissed at him & then she looked scared. my daughter looked up the face expression in a book & it meant that pickles was scared. to me pickles is confusing us. it looks a bit like a hate & love situation going on. we think it isnt a territory issue by the way pickles have been with her litter tray & toys. her boyfriends mother said to try the scent ploy, rubbing each cat with the other scent.

 

[catspaw66]

Yeah, that is good. Use either a towel to rub both of them or use the same brush on both of them. A lot of people have luck using a Feliway diffuser.

 

[teresa64]

My daughter bought one of those diffusers the other day. Don't really know if its working yet. She tried the scent ploy. I told her to keep doing it & she said that when goes to pickles she runs off knowing what is going to happen. My daughter told me tonight that jasper used pickles litter tray with pickles watching & she just hissed at him. So I think it can't be a territory issue.

 

[katluver4life]

Hissing is quite normal. It's cat talk for just back off some. It sounds like they are just getting to know each others boundaries. If there is no out and out fighting, I'd not be overly concerned. Continue with scent exchanging. If the towel bothers Pickles, try just using a brush. What is the feeding situation? Do they eat together? What about play? Do they play at the same time if you use an interactive toy? Like a wand toy? Food and play are the best motivators to making them comfortable with each other.

It takes time for some cats to totally settle in together. Though my new boy is basically accepted by my 2 more established cats, my female still will hiss at him at certain times, like when he tries to wrestle her. He arrived here in March. Give them time.

 

[teresa64]

Their feeding are at the same time but separate. Jasper's bowls are in the bedroom & pickles are in the living room at the mo as pickles is on kitten food until the end of month when she turns 1. My daughter plays with both cats but not together. I have told her to keep doing the scent exchange & that it is a slow process.

 

[teresa64]

The bedroom was left open Thursday night as pickles wanted to go in there. My daughter told me that jasper was chasing pickles most of the night. Which I presume was their playtime. Then yesterday they were left to it while my daughter & her boyfriend went out, which was about 3-4 hrs. So we all thought that they had sorted out their issues a bit & was probably having our hopes up. My daughter told me this morning that jasper caught pickles & noticed he had his claws out & now pickles is chasing jasper a lot more & she's still flattening her ears. They seemed to be sharing the same litter tray. Their food were put together & sharing. Where ever jasper lies then moves pickles goes over & sniff. I think jasper wouldn't hurt pickles unless provoked, he's a big softy. Pickles isn't as bad as she was, but a occasional hiss. We don't know what she has to be scared of or what's up with her. Probably be easier if we knew what was going through her mind.

 

[katluver4life]

It isn't necessarily fear that she is exhibiting, just the usual warning off, like "not in the mood for you to be near me atm" type thing. If they are sharing litter box, and eating together in peace, I'd let them be and allow them to continue to establish their roles with each other. It doesn't sound like there is any out and out fighting. Some communal grooming, using 1 brush on them both may help in accelerating the scent swap bonding. It can take some time for them to establish where each stands with the other, but they WILL do so in time

.

 

[teresa64]

My daughter is in the mind to get rid of jasper after what happened this morning. She said that jasper had reached pickles again & it looked like he tried to bite her as well as get her with his paws, but didn't see if he had his claws out or not. She put jasper in the bedroom for half hour. She said also that she didn't know if it was because of jasper being around but pickles ate half of her food already after my daughter put it down. She doesn't usually. My daughter also said that pickles is her usual self when jasper isn't around. So it doesn't seem to be working out. My daughter & me don't really want to get rid of jasper, especially me I think as I've came attached to him where he's such a softy & lovely. Plz any advice to how to make this partnership work?

 

[katluver4life]

Are they separated at all times? Has she tried doing introductions as described in http://www.thecatsite.com/a/introducing-cats-to-cats? Are there any out and out fights? Or just hisses from Pickles?

Also I noted that he is just recently neutered? 2 weeks ago it seems since your first post? He could still have some hormones working their way out of his system. This can, at times, take up to a month to completely clear out, and could be why he is trying to grab her.

It takes TIME for cats to get to know each other. Please tell her to be patient. Use the tips in the article I linked.

 

[msbedelia]

Cats need a lot of time to settle in with each other. Please be patient and give them that time.

I think a reintroduction might make everyone (humans included and perhaps especially) feel better. Feed them at the same time near the door and give them playtime together when they're ready (using different interactive toys fairly far apart), and separate them at other times. Cats need to be given a reason to like each other.

They may be friends and playmates eventually, but for now your goal should be helping them tolerate each other.

Maybe pick up a book, like Cat vs. Cat by Pam Johnson-Bennett (or anything by her really) to get some guidance on how to deal with this situation and the cat psychology behind it.

There is no "magic bullet". A Feliway diffuser or any of these other suggestions may help, but probably only with more time and a little more hissing/adjusting.

 

[teresa64]

There has been no fighting. Pickles has just been hissing & growling occasionly. They are separate some of the time, even though the doors are left open. Jasper is either laying on top of the wardrobe or on the bed & pickles is laying in the living room. Their foods are together & being fed at the same time.

 

[katluver4life]

There has been no fighting. Pickles has just been hissing & growling occasionly. They are separate some of the time, even though the doors are left open. Jasper is either laying on top of the wardrobe or on the bed & pickles is laying in the living room. Their foods are together & being fed at the same time.

Then actually they are doing pretty well together and I see no reason for Jasper to have to go really. The hissing and occasional growl is quite normal when 2 cats are not very familiar with each other and only time will lessen that. I do hope she gives them that time.

 

[teresa64]

My daughter has made up her mind to get rid of jasper, but tried to persuade her to give them a bit more time. This has happened after what happened this morning, jasper trapped pickles behind the tv stand. She had to move jasper so pickles could get out. Another thing has been happening which my daughter mentioned yesterday, when pickles uses the litter tray jasper is sitting right next to it watching her & when my daughter moves him he goes right back & when jasper uses it pickles watches him from afar. I don't feel very helpful & my daughter seems very upset today & want the old pickles back before jasper came along.

 

[catspaw66]

Tell her to use more than one litter box. And to trim the claws on both of them. I think this happened because they were introduced too quickly, before Jasper was neutered. If I am reading correctly, it has only been 3 weeks that they have been together, and only 2 weeks since Jasper was neutered. She needs to separate them and follow the method used in the link in the post Katluver4life made. I think she is giving up too easily.

 

[teresa64]

She has 2 litter boxes, jasper & pickles just use pickles one. Which they seem to be ok with. They have had jasper for 3 weeks now & he has been neutered for the last 2 weeks. Yes, i think they were introduced to quickly & didn't do the scent exchange until we found out about it. Jasper was only let out of the bedroom because he started to cry to came out, especially in the evenings. When they first had pickles she was sleeping most of the day & wanted to play when it was bed time, but now she seemed to have calmed down now that she is nearly 1 on the 28th. They both seem to have a character, which i mean they both seem to do similar things. By what i was told this morning by my daughter, they play up in the mornings when she gets up, then they sleep most of the day & then play up again in the evening/night times. I think jasper just wants to play, because if he wanted to harm pickles he would have done it sunday when they were left on their own for nearly 8 1/2 hrs, as my daughter & her boyfriend went out for the day. i nearly cried this morning when i got of the phone as i felt i was helpless & didn't know what suggest. My daughter says she has no patience & it wasn't fair on pickles. i did suggest that if jasper was trying to grab pickles & she was scared to do what she did yesterday morning by putting jasper in the bedroom for half hour & then he might learn not to do that as he will be shut in the bedroom. then my daughter's boyfriend said today that you can't punish one without punishing the other. I am hoping that this all makes sense as i seem to be rambling on 

 We have suggested that i have jasper, but just have to sweet talk my husband into it. i would like to say 

for all your replies & i have been passing them on. I just feel 

 as i don't want them to make a decision yet as i do want this partnership work.

 

[teresa64]

By the way i forgot to mention that pickles' former owner clipped her claws before my daughter had her. We did think about doing jasper's but we're too scared to do them ourselves, in case we go too far or do it wrong. Even though she has a book which shows us how to do it & we have the tool which came with pickles

 

[katluver4life]

What kind of play are they getting? Perhaps wearing Jasper out a bit will take some of the pressure off Pickles. Using a good interactive toy like the Da-bird can wear out a cat pretty quickly.

What has your daughter concerned most about their interactions? Is Pickles hiding? Less affectionate? It doesn't sound as though Jasper is hurting her. They are not fighting. They eat together in peace? Share 1 litter box even when 2 are available? This sounds like acceptance.

At 1 year each, they are still kittenish in their need to play and wrestle. As Jaspers hormones settle more and he learns what Pickles is willing to tolerate, I really think things will calm down. BUT your daughter has to realize that they will, at times, seem like they are fighting when they are just playing. Kittens wrestle, and it CAN seem like they are not getting along to some one not used to seeing this. They will play stalk, pounce, chase, grab, ect. Even playfully bite each other. The clue that this is not real fights, is that it is done usually fairly quietly.

At their young age, I find it hard to believe they would not eventually get along and even get very attached to each other. They are so close in age, it's almost like they'd be siblings.

I do hope you can calm your daughters fears and convince her to give them more time. If not, then I do hope you'd be the one who could take him in. As he is now an adult, he may be harder to place again.

 

[msbedelia]

What a tough situation. Remember that you cannot control this outcome; only your daughter can. If it fails, it's not your fault. You can't make your daughter calm down enough to give it time and see what works, unfortunately.

And why works is often not evident without time. Last week I was dispairing that my cats would never learn to tolerate each other- we are in intros as well, and nothing seemed to be working- and this week, while we still have a lot of work to do, they're doing great. Apparently it was working, we just didn't see it until 3 weeks after we adopted our new strategy. And because they're separated most of the time, we get to listen to a lot of pathetic kitty crying because someone always doesn't want to be stuck in the sanctuary room. But it's temporary and we know that's what's necessary for us to be able to keep both cats.

Pickles & Jasper sound like they're doing great overall. It's really sad to think that they may not get to spend their lives together just because cat introductions are hard in general. But again, it's really not within your circle of control I'm afraid.

Re: the nails- I clipped my cats' nails for the first time two weeks ago. I was actually amazed by how easy it was (well, once Gracie was subdued by tuna). Out of the 36 nails I cut (4 nails per foot + 2 dew claws on 2 cats), I got 1 bleeder. I learned from it, put corn starch on it, and everyone was fine. I'll do better next time. I don't think you should be afraid of trimming them. Just do your research beforehand and look at the nail when you're cutting it.