Hi Everyone, this is my first post here and I’m kind of here out of desperation. I just need to hear from people who share the love of their cats as much as I do. I’m currently grieving the loss of my cat Loki, he is an indoor/outdoor cat who didn’t come home earlier this week. I found out a day after he was missing that a neighbor saw him get killed by two coyotes in her back yard. I am completely devastated and feel entirely responsible for his death. He had injured his leg last week and I was keeping him in for a week or so to heal up, he snuck out my back door late Tuesday afternoon but I didn’t bother to chase him as I figured he’d be back soon enough and I could take him in. I saw him a couple of hours later around 7:30 pm perched on my fence, I walked over and petted him, he was so happy and seemed to be walking normally so I let him stay out. Huge mistake. Loki didn’t come home later that night which was out of character fir him, I couldn’t sleep and walked throughout the neighborhood a couple of times looking for him. I went home and ended up falling asleep remembering that sometimes he didn’t come home at night but would show up in the early morning, but he never showed up. I was a wreck all day waiting for him to stroll into the house like nothing ever happeened but he never did. Later that afternoon I posted missing cat signs around the neighborhood in hopes that someone had taken him in their home thinking he was a stray. I walked the neighborhood for hours that night looking for him to no avail, on my final walkthrough I happened to see two coyotes running on a street not far from my house, in my heart I knew they had to have killed him. I went home crying my eyes out with the sickest feeling in my gut. I couldn’t sleep, just tossed and turned all night. Around 7:30 a.m. I got a call from a woman who lives on the street behind me saying she heard a loud screech in her yard two nights ago (when Loki was missing) and looked out her window to see my cat limp in one of the coyotes mouth, she and her husband scared them off from the window, they dropped Loki, he twitched and let out his final breath. They went out in th yard to move his body but when they got outside he was gone. They suspect the coyotes came back and took him. Loki would be turning 1 year old next week, I got him 6 months ago and he was the best thing that ever happened to me. I’ve struggle a lot over the past couple of years with mental health and depression, my 3 dogs and my other cat Luna have always been so helpful with this but getting Loki really pulled me out of it like nothing else before. He was the most loving, kind, and caring cat. He slept in my bed every night, purred constantly, and was just so happy and content with his life. I knew the dangers of the out doors but I guess I was just ignorant to think my cats would be safe. It has been 3 days now since I got the call, I cry all day everyday, I don’t want to move on with my life without him, my family has been surrounding me constantly to try and help but they just can’t understand how strong our bind was. I can’t help but to keep thinking that had I just grabbed him off the fence earlier that night he would be next to me right now purring making me smile. I miss him so much, I can’t see my life without him nor do I want to. I have lost pets before but I have never experienced anything like this. Has anyone been through something similar? Can you offer any advice? I’m surrounded by people constantly yet I still feel alone in this.
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Grieving
- Thread starter jcolaru
- Start Date
I'm so so sorry this happened to you and your baby!
We've been through this and are so glad you came here to talk to us and share with us
RIP baby Loki, you were a wonderful cat and a terrific companion
Maybe these will be of help to you;
Day By Day Caregiver Support Inc. – Providing compassionate support for the grief that comes before, during and after the loss of a pet
I will lend to you a kitten, God said,
for you to love while it lives, and mourn when it's dead.
Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe 2 or 3,
but will you, 'till I call them back, take care of them for me?
They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and should their stay be brief,
you'll always have their memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise they will stay for all from Earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.
I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true,
and from the folk's that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give it all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?
My heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done",
for all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief I'll run.
We'll shelter it with tenderness, we'll love it while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call it back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
Then in memory of it whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all it's life.
Author Unknown
We've been through this and are so glad you came here to talk to us and share with us
RIP baby Loki, you were a wonderful cat and a terrific companion
Maybe these will be of help to you;
Day By Day Caregiver Support Inc. – Providing compassionate support for the grief that comes before, during and after the loss of a pet
I will lend to you a kitten, God said,
for you to love while it lives, and mourn when it's dead.
Maybe for 12 or 14 years, or maybe 2 or 3,
but will you, 'till I call them back, take care of them for me?
They'll bring their charms to gladden you, and should their stay be brief,
you'll always have their memories as solace for your grief.
I cannot promise they will stay for all from Earth return,
but there are lessons taught below I want this kitten to learn.
I've looked the whole world over in search of teachers true,
and from the folk's that crowd life's land I have chosen you.
Now will you give it all your love, nor think the labor vain?
Nor hate me when I come to take my kitten home again?
My heart replied, "My Lord, Thy Will Be Done",
for all the joys this kitten brings the risk of grief I'll run.
We'll shelter it with tenderness, we'll love it while we may,
And for the happiness we've known, forever grateful stay.
But should you call it back much sooner than we planned,
We'll brave the bitter grief that comes and try to understand.
If by our love we've managed your wishes to achieve,
Then in memory of it whom we loved, please help us while we grieve.
When our cherished kitten departs this world of strife,
Please send yet another needing soul for us to love all it's life.
Author Unknown
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #3
Try Holy Basil and Ignatia Amara for the stress and the acute grief, they are non drugs and helped me immensely when I was devastated after the loss of Simon and Sebastian, I was really stressed grieving them and was told about these things and they helped very much, perhaps they can help you too.
"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"
I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless you.....
"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"
I am sorry for your loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless you.....
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I am so sorry for the loss of your precious boy kitty.
I understand your pain completely, I lost my precious Jeff five months ago, and like you, I hunted for her for a couple of days until I found her in my backyard shed. As little consolation as this is right now to you, I am glad that your neighbor told you what happened to Loki so you won't keep looking and wondering.
I too was very suicidal and so badly wanted to join Jeff (I still have bad days), but I know that she wouldn't want me to join her before my time and I also know that Loki feels the same way about you. To love and honor Loki would be divine, to follow him, would be a tragedy. He would not want you to be unhappy.
You are getting some wonderful suggestions to help you through your grief. I would also add doing something in Loki's name: like helping the the rescue of other cats and kittens, planting a tree in his name, putting a light up in his honor, having a portrait drawn of him, keeping a journal, etc. I would also recommend reaching out to a grief counselor.
I understand your pain completely, I lost my precious Jeff five months ago, and like you, I hunted for her for a couple of days until I found her in my backyard shed. As little consolation as this is right now to you, I am glad that your neighbor told you what happened to Loki so you won't keep looking and wondering.
I too was very suicidal and so badly wanted to join Jeff (I still have bad days), but I know that she wouldn't want me to join her before my time and I also know that Loki feels the same way about you. To love and honor Loki would be divine, to follow him, would be a tragedy. He would not want you to be unhappy.
You are getting some wonderful suggestions to help you through your grief. I would also add doing something in Loki's name: like helping the the rescue of other cats and kittens, planting a tree in his name, putting a light up in his honor, having a portrait drawn of him, keeping a journal, etc. I would also recommend reaching out to a grief counselor.
Yes, the only thing that eventually turned me back to the world of the living was the thought that my little girl loved life SO much that she would never want me to live the rest of my life in sadness and regret because of her. Love is spiritual, so eternal. "Death cannot take that which never dies", that is love that bonds two souls together.
Your little boy was outside doing what he loved. Of course it is perfectly normal to have all those should haves, could haves, later. They are a part of grieving. There are a million dangers outside in nature, cars, coyotes, evil people, too many to count. Each and every day we all take the chance of something happening to someone we love. There are also dangers inside that happen too. We can't put our loved ones in a cocoon of fear, this is no way to fully live. You can't change what is now in the past, but you can use what you learned for the future. Be an advocate for inside cats by telling your story, give a small donation or your time to a local shelter, it will help you feel better about yourself and will help to sprea the legacy of your boy's love by doing it in his name.
You had no idea something like this would happen. You would have taken steps if you would have. You have to have intention to have guilt, and you had no intention. Your sweet boy will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Live your life to the fullest, with joy, just as you would have for him if you were the first to go. He wants no different.
Of course you miss him, that will always be so. But don't make his death moer important than his wonderful life, that should never be. Eventually your memories will bring you comfort, time is the only thing that brings us peace. right now, just take one day at a time and take care of yourself, you have others who love you too. They cannot understand how deep your grief and love is, because it is intensely personal. Let them in, support cannot be wrong. .....RIP sweet Loki. You will never be frogotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
Your little boy was outside doing what he loved. Of course it is perfectly normal to have all those should haves, could haves, later. They are a part of grieving. There are a million dangers outside in nature, cars, coyotes, evil people, too many to count. Each and every day we all take the chance of something happening to someone we love. There are also dangers inside that happen too. We can't put our loved ones in a cocoon of fear, this is no way to fully live. You can't change what is now in the past, but you can use what you learned for the future. Be an advocate for inside cats by telling your story, give a small donation or your time to a local shelter, it will help you feel better about yourself and will help to sprea the legacy of your boy's love by doing it in his name.
You had no idea something like this would happen. You would have taken steps if you would have. You have to have intention to have guilt, and you had no intention. Your sweet boy will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. Live your life to the fullest, with joy, just as you would have for him if you were the first to go. He wants no different.
Of course you miss him, that will always be so. But don't make his death moer important than his wonderful life, that should never be. Eventually your memories will bring you comfort, time is the only thing that brings us peace. right now, just take one day at a time and take care of yourself, you have others who love you too. They cannot understand how deep your grief and love is, because it is intensely personal. Let them in, support cannot be wrong. .....RIP sweet Loki. You will never be frogotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again!
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Im so sorry to hear little loki has passed on. You are feeling guilt that it was some how your fault that loki died because you didnt grab him off the fence that night. But it isnt your fault, loki went for a roam that night like he usually does every other day and night in the past and this particular night he got attacked by dogs. Fate is fate. Life is all about decisions in micro seconds and sometimes things happen that cannot be predicted. That is what life is, unpredictable. And this is what i hate about life, the unpredicability of it all.
I understand that you are devastated and it is a tragedy how loki passed. Loki little soul is in heaven now and is at peace and it wasnt lokis fault or your fault. Loki loves you as much as you love him and that is all that matters now. You have a hole in your heart and it is because your dear friend has passed on and he is missing in your life now. This feeling of saddness, loss, emptyness, guilt and hopelessness will take time for you to heal. It is hard for everyone when they loose someone they love and it is normal to feel this way. But it takes time for some it may be a week for others 1 year to several years it doesnt mean you love them less or more the shorter or longer you greive everyone is different and feels different emotions.
Just know you are not to blame and loki doesnt blame you he still loves you and will be looking after you from above from the angels arms. God bless you little loki , i am sorry that you passed on, be at peace in gods angels arms and look after jcolaru so her heart will heal.
I understand that you are devastated and it is a tragedy how loki passed. Loki little soul is in heaven now and is at peace and it wasnt lokis fault or your fault. Loki loves you as much as you love him and that is all that matters now. You have a hole in your heart and it is because your dear friend has passed on and he is missing in your life now. This feeling of saddness, loss, emptyness, guilt and hopelessness will take time for you to heal. It is hard for everyone when they loose someone they love and it is normal to feel this way. But it takes time for some it may be a week for others 1 year to several years it doesnt mean you love them less or more the shorter or longer you greive everyone is different and feels different emotions.
Just know you are not to blame and loki doesnt blame you he still loves you and will be looking after you from above from the angels arms. God bless you little loki , i am sorry that you passed on, be at peace in gods angels arms and look after jcolaru so her heart will heal.
- Thread Starter Thread Starter
- #9
Thank you all so much for your advice, support, reassurance, and kind words. This is really helping me get through this very difficult time. Getting just a little bit better each day. I still miss him so much and cry for him each day, but hearing from others who understand this type of loss is helping me cope. 
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I am so sincerely sorry for your loss. This is truly heartbreaking, but I kindly advice you not to dwell on the manner of how Loki passed this earth, but how he LIVED. Remembering him in his happiest moments will certainly bring joy to your heart, even if for sure a certain amount of sadness pinches your heart.
Im so sorry for ure loss..n so sorry for Loki...RIP precious kitty...I have an 11 yr old named Snowball..n now that hes getting older n is showing a few signs of aging...Im constantly on alert..every twitch or noise he makes..n at night I wake up n check to make sure hes breathing...Im so afraid when his time comes...I know im gonna be lost...Ive had him since 2008...he was just weaned off his mama...n then I became his mama...my kids left the nest during that time..and its been just me n Snowball..for yrs...So I am saying im deeply sorry for u n Loki....And this part is very hard for me to talk about...yrs ago way before Snowball came in my LIFE...I was married n VERY young n had some kitties....n my husband at the time had hunting dogs...coone dogs...I dont know..but one of the dogs got loose n killed n was eating my kitty cat...I tried to get it away..but I couldn't..I screamed...I felt so guilty of kitties being outside..but back then people chained they dogs..my husband did...So I know how u feel....But the hurt does get easier over time....But when u talk about it even 5 yrs from NOW..it will choke u up...But the pain gets easier over time...THE PAIN NEVER GOES AWAY...IT JUST GETS EASIER OVER TIME.......I KNOW
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"I have lost pets before but I have never experienced anything like this."
This hits so close to home. Seems like you and Loki had that very special bond. Losing a pet like this is so difficult, even if you've seen many of them go before. It hurts the most. I feel you completely.
What I suggest doing (this is something that was suggested to me by someone else when I was grieving and it did help me, quite a lot) is paying a tribute to Loki. This can be anything. It can be a painting, a poem, picture in the frame, a sculpture maybe. You can make something yourself or order it from someone. It doesn't have to be anything costly. It can even be an act of some sort as a tribute to your friend.
Most importantly, think of all the beautiful times you have spent together in the past. They are still present in your mind.
Stay strong
This hits so close to home. Seems like you and Loki had that very special bond. Losing a pet like this is so difficult, even if you've seen many of them go before. It hurts the most. I feel you completely.
What I suggest doing (this is something that was suggested to me by someone else when I was grieving and it did help me, quite a lot) is paying a tribute to Loki. This can be anything. It can be a painting, a poem, picture in the frame, a sculpture maybe. You can make something yourself or order it from someone. It doesn't have to be anything costly. It can even be an act of some sort as a tribute to your friend.
Most importantly, think of all the beautiful times you have spent together in the past. They are still present in your mind.
Stay strong
An injured leg in the Wild means the end. Most Likely Loki inherited something genetic that prevented her to hunt and defend herself. You could not change this anyway. Sooner or later - the same Fate. It is not your fault, because it is not you who designed the Loki's genetic code.
We care and heal the cats but forget that predators and diseases put an end to these furry Creatures very often in the Wild.
Tears here.
+++
Now, for practical reasons: coyotes apply pack strategies, that are effective only on flat clear terrain. To "equalize" this to cat's chances, some recommend to plant trees (as a refugee) and to provide for shelters (e.g. boxes with small holes).
I do not know how effective these cat-protective strategies are (there is no coyote in my country), maybe some others may offer better advise on these issues.
We care and heal the cats but forget that predators and diseases put an end to these furry Creatures very often in the Wild.
Tears here.
+++
Now, for practical reasons: coyotes apply pack strategies, that are effective only on flat clear terrain. To "equalize" this to cat's chances, some recommend to plant trees (as a refugee) and to provide for shelters (e.g. boxes with small holes).
I do not know how effective these cat-protective strategies are (there is no coyote in my country), maybe some others may offer better advise on these issues.
