Hello. I want to give a little bit of background before I get to my current dilemma. About a year ago a kitten started hanging around my house. I put food out but it didn't show up consistently and I assumed it belonged to one of my neighbors. I also thought it was a boy. Wrong! A few months ago it started showing up morning and night looking for food and I a month ago I discovered it was a she and she had four kittens. They live under a shed in my neighbors yard and come under the fence to my yard by where I feed the birds and have water out for the birds. My neighbor came over the day after I noticed them because they had noticed them as well. I started putting food out for them and so did my neighbor but we agreed that something had to be done about it. We were just both too soft to pursue it right away. I would say the kittens are about 10 weeks now. They are getting close to mom's size because she is still young and not very big. The mom cat is a hell of a hunter and is reeking havoc on the birds in both my neighbor's yard and mine (I have indoor only cats so I don't have to worry about them killing birds). I talked to him this weekend and we agreed that I would suck it up and try to trap and he was not amenable to any sort of TNR situation because of the birds.
The problem is that she is such a good mom cat I feel horrible about trapping and splitting up the family. She watches them like a hawk. If I approach when the kittens are out, she will come from wherever she is in the yard and get in a defensive position and growl at me until the kittens all make it back under the fence. She lets me get pretty close to her and will eat in front of me but is by no means tame. She probably could be tamed but the shelter here is pretty overwhelmed and, once she is fixed, she will most likely go as a barn cat (she will probably be pretty good at being a barn cat because fending for herself is what she knows). I am not sure about the kittens, they might be old to be tamed by the shelter so they may be barn cats as well (the shelter does require that owners supplemental feed before they will let the cats go to a barn).
Anyway, I guess I just need a pep talk that I am doing the right thing. I know if I catch one of the kittens first, mom will be upset and look for it. Likewise, the kittens will be distressed if I catch mom first. The whole thing is just very upsetting for me.
The problem is that she is such a good mom cat I feel horrible about trapping and splitting up the family. She watches them like a hawk. If I approach when the kittens are out, she will come from wherever she is in the yard and get in a defensive position and growl at me until the kittens all make it back under the fence. She lets me get pretty close to her and will eat in front of me but is by no means tame. She probably could be tamed but the shelter here is pretty overwhelmed and, once she is fixed, she will most likely go as a barn cat (she will probably be pretty good at being a barn cat because fending for herself is what she knows). I am not sure about the kittens, they might be old to be tamed by the shelter so they may be barn cats as well (the shelter does require that owners supplemental feed before they will let the cats go to a barn).
Anyway, I guess I just need a pep talk that I am doing the right thing. I know if I catch one of the kittens first, mom will be upset and look for it. Likewise, the kittens will be distressed if I catch mom first. The whole thing is just very upsetting for me.