The "what's On Your Mind?" Thread -2019

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Graceful-Lily

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Whoa - Kudos to you! :salute:

I could never. That is one of the reasons why I left. I felt like I was being broken down mentally to be built back up again and prepared for battle. I'm sensitive to stress so not a wise choice in career.

But you have so much going for you. Great work and thank you for all you've done so far. I always admire people with the patience for working with people who don't always comply.
 

FflurCadwgawn

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I'm sensiti3ve to stress too, and had to take time away from social work jobs to heal and recover (one job saw stress asthma and the job in mental health managed to somehow trigger hypoglycemia induced suicidal depression and intense anxiety but usually I waffle between hives and migraines). The big reason I decided to go back to school is because most of the social work programs emphasise self care on their websites, so I'm hoping that will be the case in the classes, plus I'm going to be basically minority in yoga to force myself to have a couple of hours a week at least to get in the habit of destressing on a regular basis.

I'm sure you'll do great in your program! When do you start?
 

Graceful-Lily

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I'm sensitive to stress too, and had to take time away from social work jobs to heal and recover (one job saw stress asthma but usually I waffle between hives and migraines). The big reason I decided to go back to school is because most of the social work programs emphasise self care on their websites, so I'm hoping that will be the case in the classes, plus I'm going to be basically minority in yoga to force myself to have a couple of hours a week at least to get in the habit of destressing on a regular basis.

I'm sure you'll do great in your program! When do you start?
I guess it depends on which area of social work? I found the children and their cases to be very stressful and heartbreaking. I couldn't handle that on a daily basis and would definitely burn out quickly. I tend to absorb feelings and emotions from other people.

I start in 19 days. I've already accepted the offer of admission and I'm now waiting for the college to receive it so that I can pay my tuition fee.
 

FflurCadwgawn

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Exciting times ahead and kudos! Being an empath in social work jobs definitely is rough (*waves to fellow empath*).

If you need help feel free to poke and I'll definitely see what advice I can give. I narrowly avoided having to deal with new student orientation--2nd bac students don't have to, plus I had already done all of that in April. WHEW. All I have left to do is go tackle disability office stuff, if I know some things are going to be an issue this time around, I'm addressing them before they make my life miserable again.
 

catspaw66

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Shane is home! After spending over a month bouncing back and forth from the ICU, he went home yesterday.
He has surgery on September 9 so they can try to get more of the tumor.
All the kids are going to be homeschooled. Getting sick would be extremely hazardous for Shane, so they're taking all the precautions they can. We can thank the antivax nuts for making it unsafe for him to attend school. But I digress.
A family member loaned them the money for a down payment on a house just outside of St. Louis. We'll miss them, but it's for the best. Where they live now, if Shane gets so much as a fever, he has to be life flighted to St. Louis. If they move, it will be easier to get him to the hospital if needed and they won't have to be separated from the younger kids all the time.
:welcomeback1: Shane! :rock:
 

Alicia88

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A not so positive post.

I've cut off contact with my mom and I'm feeling guilty about it, even though it was her doing.

I haven't mentioned it much here, but my mom was abusive while we were kids. She's also been with an abusive drug addict since I was 4. She tells anyone who will listen that he never hit us, which is crazy because she saw it happen. However, even with all that, she always worked hard to make sure we had everything we needed. She went without to support us.

The final straw. My sister's husband is not Shane's biological father. His bio father abused my sister and threatened to kill Shane when he was a baby. Christi has been with her husband since Shane was a year old and he's always taken care of that little boy. Christi cut off contact with my mom several years ago because she kept trying to sneak her jerk around the kids.

My mom messaged my aunt saying all of the above and was talking about how it isn't right that Christi won't talk to her and that she's entitled to be around her grandkids. She then said she's been getting information in secret and passing it on to his "real dad." That was too much for me. If she's gonna take up for someone like that and discount the man who has raised Shane as his own pretty much his entire life, I'm done. And my mother has no one to blame but herself.
 

tarasgirl06

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A not so positive post.

I've cut off contact with my mom and I'm feeling guilty about it, even though it was her doing.

I haven't mentioned it much here, but my mom was abusive while we were kids. She's also been with an abusive drug addict since I was 4. She tells anyone who will listen that he never hit us, which is crazy because she saw it happen. However, even with all that, she always worked hard to make sure we had everything we needed. She went without to support us.

The final straw. My sister's husband is not Shane's biological father. His bio father abused my sister and threatened to kill Shane when he was a baby. Christi has been with her husband since Shane was a year old and he's always taken care of that little boy. Christi cut off contact with my mom several years ago because she kept trying to sneak her jerk around the kids.

My mom messaged my aunt saying all of the above and was talking about how it isn't right that Christi won't talk to her and that she's entitled to be around her grandkids. She then said she's been getting information in secret and passing it on to his "real dad." That was too much for me. If she's gonna take up for someone like that and discount the man who has raised Shane as his own pretty much his entire life, I'm done. And my mother has no one to blame but herself.
Well, far be it from me to manage anyone else's life or choices, Alicia88 Alicia88 , but one thing I will say is that the bottom line with ANYONE needs to be those in their care, their wellbeing and safety. ANYTHING or ANYONE getting in the way of that, or jeopardizing it, needs to be second priority, if prioritized at all. My biological grandfather (mother's father) was by all accounts a very dangerous man, and definitely an abusive one. At one point, my mom's brother told him that if he hit his mom one more time, he'd shoot him. My mom's brother was hit by a drunk hit-and-run driver and eventually passed after 9 months in the hospital with a broken back. Nothing was ever done to the perpetrator, though his identity was known. I'm not sure of the timeline, but at some point my grandmother took her kids and left my grandfather. She had to work to support them, doing what would be called undesirable and "menial" jobs. Eventually she worked her way up to a better job and I guess life became more pleasant to some degree. The point here is that she didn't hesitate to put her kids first. As anyone should, but many do not.
When you have someone helpless, voiceless and innocent in your care, you should be prepared to do anything in your power for them. I know people find themselves in complicated situations and they also become overwhelmed and turn to substances to handle the pain. Not judging them. Just saying that the ones starting out/in need have to come first, whether they're kids, cats, or whomever.
It's always beyond sad when family ties are cut. It shouldn't be that way. But sometimes it's what has to be.
*PRAYERS* for your mom. And of course for Shane and his/your family.
I hope and pray that your mom is able to see clearly and make the choices she needs to, to bring her family together again. In the meantime, you have to do what you have to do. :hugs:
 

Alicia88

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Thanks. My mom has no excuse for putting him first. He never contributed a single thing. He's never worked a day in his life and just took my mom's money to support his drug habit.
For 15 years, I've had contact with her but refused to have anything to do with him. If she so much as mentioned his name, I hung up the phone. It's worked well enough. Until she started trying to bring Shane's bio dad back into the picture. That told me that she doesn't have any redeemable qualities left. I can't handle it anymore.
 

tarasgirl06

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Thanks. My mom has no excuse for putting him first. He never contributed a single thing. He's never worked a day in his life and just took my mom's money to support his drug habit.
For 15 years, I've had contact with her but refused to have anything to do with him. If she so much as mentioned his name, I hung up the phone. It's worked well enough. Until she started trying to bring Shane's bio dad back into the picture. That told me that she doesn't have any redeemable qualities left. I can't handle it anymore.
This happens far, far too often, that a woman puts the lover first, no matter whether deserved or not. I guess one positive outcome from my mom's family's tragic and dysfunctional life is that my mom was VERY serious about putting those in her care first in terms of their safety and needs.
Sometimes just letting time go by can bring new perspectives. I hope it is true in your mom's case.
 

Alicia88

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She's been with him for about 27 years. He's in jail - again. He has a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt. I've given up hope of her getting rid of him.
 

tarasgirl06

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She's been with him for about 27 years. He's in jail - again. He has a rap sheet longer than a CVS receipt. I've given up hope of her getting rid of him.
Usually, unfortunately, it has to be something pretty serious to get people to reconsider a relationship like that if it is of long duration. Wow. That's a LOT longer than any of my marriages, and while none of them were "perfect", none was that dangerous, either. I'm so sorry you have to have all that in your life. You seem like a level-headed and caring person with good values and priorities. That's how my mom was, too, and I often wondered how she turned out that way with such a background. Sorry to say, my aunt, her sister, wasn't as careful in some of her decisions. But in your case, good on ya and stick to what you know is right/important. In the long run, it will be worth it.
 

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Katie M

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I'm feeling so down today. I was agitated in class yesterday by the smallest things, although I was feeling better by the time I left for my externship. Today, I just want to sleep, but I can't. I hate this so much. I hate my brain.
 

kashmir64

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My mom keeps getting these phone calls from "Social Security' saying that her SSN is suspended. Yes, she's reported it.
However, just now, she got one saying that an arrest warrant is out on her. She's reporting that one now.
Why can't I get any of these? Tracfone just came out with unlimited talk and text and I now have minutes to take these scam calls and mess with them.
I want a scammer to call me, how come she gets them all?
 

tarasgirl06

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Does your mom have caller ID or some way to retrieve the numbers, kashmir64 kashmir64 ? They need to be reported and caught. So sorry they are stressing you and your mom! Evil people with too much time on their hands :bat:
Katie M Katie M So sorry to read that. Suggest getting as much C.A.T. (Cat-Assisted Therapy) as possible, because a lot of times, those purrs and that warmth and charm can captivate us and turn those frowns into smiles. I also find that getting away from the screen and out in nature, as small as that is in this urban yard, can help a lot. Nothing changes in terms of whatever it is that's getting us down, but it just helps to disconnect from the world's troubles for a little while, yes?
 

kashmir64

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Does your mom have caller ID or some way to retrieve the numbers, kashmir64 kashmir64 ? They need to be reported and caught. So sorry they are stressing you and your mom! Evil people with too much time on their hands
Oh yes, and they have been reported to the Social Security Inspector. He told her to please go to the website from here out because he's spending his whole day taking calls from people about this scam.
We're not stressed from this. I'm just upset because I want one so I can mess with the person. My mom is just laughing.

Just an FYI. The Social Security Inspector said that SS will not call you unless you call them first. A call back so to speak. So if any of you get this call, it is a SCAM.

OK, funny. As I was typing this she got another call. Same one.
 

tarasgirl06

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Oh yes, and they have been reported to the Social Security Inspector. He told her to please go to the website from here out because he's spending his whole day taking calls from people about this scam.
We're not stressed from this. I'm just upset because I want one so I can mess with the person. My mom is just laughing.

Just an FYI. The Social Security Inspector said that SS will not call you unless you call them first. A call back so to speak. So if any of you get this call, it is a SCAM.

OK, funny. As I was typing this she got another call. Same one.
TYSM for that info on behalf of those to whom it applies, kashmir64 kashmir64 , and glad of your explanation and the fact that SSI is on it. Hope they get 'em.:bat:
 
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