- Joined
- Feb 8, 2019
- Messages
- 69
- Purraise
- 56
I know for a fact that my mom doesn't abuse her and my cat hasn't been always behaving like this. It's been going on for a few months and she is 2.
I'm 18 and in 2 months I'll go to college. I'm not allowed to have pets where I'm staying. I will look for another place after a year. I will come home every week though, so it's not that bad. But that means that roughly 4 days out of 7 my cat will be only with my parents at home.
Nemi has no issues with my father and has scratched him only once. I am her favorite and I'm the only one she purrs on and kneads on. She is very attached to me in other ways as well. Sometimes she scratches me if I annoy her or she tries to catch my attention for some reason (it's honestly barely a scratch in that case). All in all, no particular offenses towards me or my dad.
The issue is my mom. My cat is sensitive and anxiety prone, whereas my mom is very loud, impulsive and quite annoying in the ways she interacts with her (I tell her repeatedly to let her go because the cat's uncomfortable right now, not in the mood for pets and she doesn't care, because 'it's her cat as well'). She is quite narcissistic. The problem is for some months my cat's begun to jump at her randomly (mom sits on the couch, eating something, cat jumps at her leg and bites deep + scratches, sometimes deeper, sometimes lighter). Sometimes I can predict it by the way her eyes transform, but really, it's random. My mom's also going through pre-menopause, so to say she's dramatic is quite the understatement. Immediately after the attack, she screams, swears and begins to yell after the cat, exhibiting really agitated behavior. Sometimes Nemi scratches and bites her DEEP. Like there's blood running down her leg/arm kind of deep. If this happens I've seen my mom chasing her out of the room and sometimes scaring her with the stick of one of her toys. I've also seen her pin Nemi down and ask her why she's done that (??? it's beyond stupid, I know). Lately it's been happening almost daily, which is concerning and stresses me tf out as well. 80% of the times it happens I'm there to witness it, at least in the last 3 months or so.
I've suggested ignoring her completely and my mom accuses me of not caring about her discomfort/pain. It's true, partially, because I do think this could've been solved way long ago when it first started, had she not behaved like a child (yelling, drama, ignoring my advice etc). Now it's very difficult to change what is essentially a habit at this point, probably for relieving stress/boredom. Nemi NEVER does this to me or my dad. I'm worried things will escalate and my mom will get rid of her or even hit her as to teach her a lesson (some people she knows have suggested that and it's honestly disgusting).
I play with her, either with the toys or by myself. Most of the times I take care of her litter box, food and water. It's always clean and I change her water frequently. I pet her and give her affection and whatever she wants. I comfort her. Outside of the 'conflict zone', the only thing I can think of that my mom does wrong is forcefully keeping Nemi in her arms to pet her or kiss her. But her attacks don't line up with that. I have no idea how to stop this.
I don't think it's a medical issue because it only happens with my mom. At my local veterinary they just said that there's probably a reason she gets annoyed/upset and uses my mom as a sort of scapegoat, but they didn't give me any solutions. They also just suggested ignoring her, which is useless, because apparently my child-mom can't do that.
I also tried misdirection. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't and she comes right back to finish the deed. Please give me some advice as to how to stop this. I know it will be hell for Nemi if things escalate while I'm away, because there's no way for me to intervene and protect her if need be. But honestly, even for my parents and I, it will be stressful as well.
I don't mind using medication if it's the only option. I've seen cats put on medication on Jackson Galaxy's show, when their weird behavior doesn't stop after all the conventional treatment. It's a last resort, but if it's quick, maybe I'll consider it one of the top options.
I'm 18 and in 2 months I'll go to college. I'm not allowed to have pets where I'm staying. I will look for another place after a year. I will come home every week though, so it's not that bad. But that means that roughly 4 days out of 7 my cat will be only with my parents at home.
Nemi has no issues with my father and has scratched him only once. I am her favorite and I'm the only one she purrs on and kneads on. She is very attached to me in other ways as well. Sometimes she scratches me if I annoy her or she tries to catch my attention for some reason (it's honestly barely a scratch in that case). All in all, no particular offenses towards me or my dad.
The issue is my mom. My cat is sensitive and anxiety prone, whereas my mom is very loud, impulsive and quite annoying in the ways she interacts with her (I tell her repeatedly to let her go because the cat's uncomfortable right now, not in the mood for pets and she doesn't care, because 'it's her cat as well'). She is quite narcissistic. The problem is for some months my cat's begun to jump at her randomly (mom sits on the couch, eating something, cat jumps at her leg and bites deep + scratches, sometimes deeper, sometimes lighter). Sometimes I can predict it by the way her eyes transform, but really, it's random. My mom's also going through pre-menopause, so to say she's dramatic is quite the understatement. Immediately after the attack, she screams, swears and begins to yell after the cat, exhibiting really agitated behavior. Sometimes Nemi scratches and bites her DEEP. Like there's blood running down her leg/arm kind of deep. If this happens I've seen my mom chasing her out of the room and sometimes scaring her with the stick of one of her toys. I've also seen her pin Nemi down and ask her why she's done that (??? it's beyond stupid, I know). Lately it's been happening almost daily, which is concerning and stresses me tf out as well. 80% of the times it happens I'm there to witness it, at least in the last 3 months or so.
I've suggested ignoring her completely and my mom accuses me of not caring about her discomfort/pain. It's true, partially, because I do think this could've been solved way long ago when it first started, had she not behaved like a child (yelling, drama, ignoring my advice etc). Now it's very difficult to change what is essentially a habit at this point, probably for relieving stress/boredom. Nemi NEVER does this to me or my dad. I'm worried things will escalate and my mom will get rid of her or even hit her as to teach her a lesson (some people she knows have suggested that and it's honestly disgusting).
I play with her, either with the toys or by myself. Most of the times I take care of her litter box, food and water. It's always clean and I change her water frequently. I pet her and give her affection and whatever she wants. I comfort her. Outside of the 'conflict zone', the only thing I can think of that my mom does wrong is forcefully keeping Nemi in her arms to pet her or kiss her. But her attacks don't line up with that. I have no idea how to stop this.
I don't think it's a medical issue because it only happens with my mom. At my local veterinary they just said that there's probably a reason she gets annoyed/upset and uses my mom as a sort of scapegoat, but they didn't give me any solutions. They also just suggested ignoring her, which is useless, because apparently my child-mom can't do that.
I also tried misdirection. Sometimes it works, but sometimes it doesn't and she comes right back to finish the deed. Please give me some advice as to how to stop this. I know it will be hell for Nemi if things escalate while I'm away, because there's no way for me to intervene and protect her if need be. But honestly, even for my parents and I, it will be stressful as well.
I don't mind using medication if it's the only option. I've seen cats put on medication on Jackson Galaxy's show, when their weird behavior doesn't stop after all the conventional treatment. It's a last resort, but if it's quick, maybe I'll consider it one of the top options.
