Does My Second Cat Want To Be The Only Cat?

Hi Everyone,

I have two cats. The first one (Edie) is very active and the second (Elton) loves to play. They are 2-3 years old. I have been fostering Elton for about 6 weeks and was planning to adopt. They aren't bonded necessarily but they do play with each other.

My first cat went to the vet and when she did Elton became more affectionate, purred a lot, butted his head into my hand to be petted, etc. Prior to this he would only occasionally let me touch him, mostly he would just dodge me/scurry away. I just thought he didn't really enjoy being touched, but now that i saw his behavior while Edie was away I am wondering what this is all about? Is it possible he prefers to be the only cat, even though him and edie generally get along? Or I'm wondering if it will just take time for him to completely feel comfortable around edie in our home. Has anyone experienced something similar??

LAstly, when edie returned he went through some minor non-recognition aggression. I read that this is common though, and I do think it will go away in a couple days as its already getting better. Anyway i'm worried that maybe he would be happy in another home and i don't know what to do. Can anyone offer any advice?

I’m guessing here, but it could also mean that he turned to human because his feline company was gone. As sort of replacement
Is he playful and active? Do you think humans alone can stimulate him enough?

Hey! Welcome! I’m glad you posted about this. You haven’t had Elton very long. It’s not uncommon for them to become more affectionate when they have you all to themselves. It’s an opportunity to become more established and gets lots of individual attention. As the new kitty, Elton just saw a chance to get closer to you. I wouldn’t worry at all if the two play together. Give them more time and you may find them cuddled up together or giving each other a bath. As for returning from the vet, they carry the scent of everything from the vet office home with them. All of my cats get the “ cold shoulder” when they come from a vet visit. I take a towel with me and when we get home, I rub it over the other cats so everybody smells like vet! You can rub both cats with a towel, alternating back and forth a few times to accomplish the same thing. The cats aren’t thrilled when I do this but it stops the dirty looks between cats.
I think you are fantastic for fostering and adopting! I hope you’ll tell us more about Edie and Elton! It sounds like they are well on their way to a great bond. Thanks for saving Elton too! I hope you do adopt him. It’s obvious he already loves you and feels he has become part of the whole family.

I was thinking about your post some more and I think that the fact that he was affectionate with you doesn't necessarily mean that he was comfortable and relaxed, it could actually mean that he was looking for comfort in uncomfortable situation (other cat was suddenly gone which might have been confusing) by getting your touch. My cat sometimes does it. And if it's the case, you could conclude that he in fact needs another cat. But of course you know him the best. You could also talk to his previous care givers what do they think since he's relatively new to you.

My 2 cats are not classic best friends, but they are playmates and companions in good (like feeding) and bad (eg.nail trimming) situations. I'm sure they need themselves very much even if they don't cuddle nor sleep together. I could never give them what they take from each other (chasing, wrestling, occasional one sided grooming).

Thank you so much for these replies they really put me at ease! I've been hesitant to adopt because im so afraid something will change between them and i will have to rehome Elton which would be terrible!

These are some great theories! I hadn't really thought that maybe he was had less attention (possibly lonely) and therefore needed human touch to feel satisfied (duh). Elton could probably be stimulated enough by humans alone as long as he gets a lot of play time, but Edie could not be. She is a Burmese Siamese mix, classically a high energy cat, which is why I got Elton. Also Siamese will tell you when they are upset so Edie is much easier to read than Elton. Edie is incredibly alert and really a sharp cat. Elton is a goof, loves looking into mirrors and spacing out kind of cat. But i am glad they have the play time energy in common.

Im happy to say they slept w me in bed last night and when i woke up Elton was next to me, let me pet him and started purring. I think you are right Jcatbird that it will just take time. The foster mom before me said Elton would act shy abt petting at first w her too, and she had other cats in the house as well. So I must be patient!

I had no idea about the non-recognition aggression until i started googling this other day! I will definitely try the towel and vanilla extract tactic.

Thank you so much for your thoughtful words i really do appreciate it!

We have two cats (12 years) but been together since kittens. In my opinion your cats are feeling their way. I would not take the one instance of the cat being affectionate as a sign they want to be an only cat. Their personalities will develop. The only thing with ours is that we sometimes take our ragdoll alone and play with her, because our Tuxie dominates play time, and Radoll allows her. It's sort of like having two kids, you do have to give each individual time.