As many of you have been following along with my stray cat thread, I have a 95 soon to be 96 year old mother. I believe she is in early stages of dementia but not confirmed. I have no husband, no siblings no children and my father passed away 14 years ago. When my father passed away I moved in with Mom to help her but also I was having a hard time financially. To some extent I still am although I can move into a cheap housing if need be. The problem is that I'm supposed to put my life on hold. She yells about the cats in the back yard. I know she's allergic to the cats, and I would never bring them inside but she yells about 2 or 3 toys I leave outside for them. I do want to eventually adopt these cats because being reasonable I know Mom will not be here maybe in 4 or 5 years. I have tried to get her to go to a doctor by setting up appointments for us both but then on the day of our appointments she called and cancelled. This has occurred on more than one occasion. She yells about me being on a computer (I don't watch tv) but she turns on the tv all day long. According to her I should be sitting there staring at 4 walls all day long. She threw a fit about a plastic hand glove that is used to massage the body saying she doesn't want a fire. Huh? The demands get more and more bizarre all the time. I go with her every Friday while she gets her hair done so that she doesn't have to be alone I go shopping with her because she's scared to go alone. And yet I'm not supposed to have a life. If I try and earn money it has to be at a time when she's asleep or she throws a fit because "people in their 60s should not be working" If I exercise it has to be when she isn't watching because according to her anyone that exercises past 50 years of age will have a heart attack and die. No joke. Last year she threw a huge fit over some 10 lb weights i lift calling me a she man because it is not feminine to lift weights. I"m in a position that she yells if I do and yells if I don't. Adult services only step in (where I live) if it goes to her insurance and she gives the ok.) She won't give her ok. So I'm basically stuck inside a house with her yelling and screaming no matter what I do or don't do. She thinks that I'm trying to get rid of her because she's an old woman and she has on more than one occasion told me that she hopes I die a lonely old woman with no one (including pets). I'm not sure what more to post on here that I haven't posted in the stray/feral forum except she screams if I use her car but she screams if I take my car to be fixed. I cry myself to sleep at night because I get no help. Her relatives and friends are all dead. My Dad's relatives don't even consider us family anymore (I was adopted) so I'm in this all alone.
Am I being selfish and uncaring for wanting to hold onto these cats? I've been feeding them for a year and they have come to depend upon me and my city law now recognizes them as my responsibility. I"m not placing the cats above my Mom or vice versa but I feel I should have some kind of enjoyment which obviously she doesn't want me to have. I"m at wits end with this entire situation. Just this morning she told me that she wants me out of the house in a month with the cats. She can't manage on her own. I just don't know what to do.
Am I being selfish and uncaring for wanting to hold onto these cats? I've been feeding them for a year and they have come to depend upon me and my city law now recognizes them as my responsibility. I"m not placing the cats above my Mom or vice versa but I feel I should have some kind of enjoyment which obviously she doesn't want me to have. I"m at wits end with this entire situation. Just this morning she told me that she wants me out of the house in a month with the cats. She can't manage on her own. I just don't know what to do.
