Question Of The Day Sunday, 23 June, 2019

tarasgirl06

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GOOD MORNING AND HAPPY SUNDAY!!
:cheerleader::clap::dance::banana1::woo:

I was pondering this last night.

What do you love most about your husband, wife, significant other, partner?

or

If you're not married or in a committed relationship, what is important to you in a potential one?

or

Do you choose not to be in a relationship?

For me, kindness, humor, intelligence, and love of cats are very important, as well as acceptance of my disability and my religion, Catholic. Also, he would have to be generous with other people, love food, and willing to try new things.

What about you?
Happily divorced. Never getting married again. Don't want to be in a relationship. SO over all of that. Being single is definitely better, except when I need a light bulb overhead changed, plumbing fixed, etc. *YES, I'm serious* I prefer the company of my beloved feline family members. I'll stop before I start a rant.
 

Willowy

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I was raised in a religion that teaches that women should be submissive to their husbands. Which is not a relationship I would ever enter into willingly. I knew that from the time I was old enough to know what they were talking about. So I never even considered a relationship of any kind.

Now that I don't believe that anymore, being that it's been nearly 40 years, I wouldn't even know where to start if I did want a relationship. Which is fine, now. I don't think I could live with another human at this point. I'm just annoyed that the choice was taken from me because of a belief that there's only one right way to have a relationship.
 

aliceneko

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I don't have a partner or significant other yet, though I think mutual trust and happiness with one another are the most important factors. Loyalty (but not too overbearing bordering on controlling, since that's not healthy at all) and consideration/compassion for one another are also important to me.
 
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Mia6

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I'm just annoyed that the choice was taken from me because of a belief that there's only one right way to have a relationship.
So sorry about that. :alright: But you never know what the future may hold. You may meet someone and WHAM, a lightening bolt! Love is complicated, crazy, and unpredictable!! :clap:
 

Elphaba09

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I am a survivor of extreme domestic abuse. Falling in love and getting married again was one of the bravest things I have ever done.

I cannot say enough about my husband. He is kind, gentle, strong, funny, intelligent, calm, and loves cats. We disagree without arguing. In fact, I cannot recall a single time in the ten years we have been together (married for almost three) that we have raised our voices at each other. He not only puts up with my C-PTSD and anxiety issues but helps me when something triggers me or causes me to get upset. I can honestly say that he fills my life with joy. I miss him every moment that we are apart. (He is at work now, and I cannot wait until he gets home!)
 

1 bruce 1

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My experience says, if you find someone you're attracted to (not just physically, but on a level you can't really describe or say why), and that person has a kind, genuine and caring heart, the rest will work itself out :heartshape:
 

MonaLyssa33

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I'm not in a relationship and never have, but the most important qualities I look for are kindness, compassion, a similar sense of humor to me (and subsequently my family), understanding that I am an introvert and enjoy being alone sometimes but who will also push me to not hide from social interaction all the time, and they don't make a lot of noise (like constant throat clearing or coughing or just making a lot of noise when they move around, I know, it's weird).
 

Graceful-Lily

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...understanding that I am an introvert and enjoy being alone sometimes but who will also push me to not hide from social interaction all the time...
Yes! I'm always afraid people won't understand that sometimes, I don't want to see them or talk to them for a while. Nothing personal, just need to recharge. But... it seems mean outloud. :running:
 

1 bruce 1

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Happily divorced. Never getting married again. Don't want to be in a relationship. SO over all of that. Being single is definitely better, except when I need a light bulb overhead changed, plumbing fixed, etc. *YES, I'm serious* I prefer the company of my beloved feline family members. I'll stop before I start a rant.
I'm not in a relationship and never have, but the most important qualities I look for are kindness, compassion, a similar sense of humor to me (and subsequently my family), understanding that I am an introvert and enjoy being alone sometimes but who will also push me to not hide from social interaction all the time, and they don't make a lot of noise (like constant throat clearing or coughing or just making a lot of noise when they move around, I know, it's weird).
Not weird at all. I can like someone a lot but not be able to eat with them because they chew with their mouths wide open, flashing you views of half chewed potatoes, and proceed to tell you a really long winded story about their great Uncle's plantar wart while they're chewing :eek3::jawdrop:
 

1 bruce 1

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Yes! I'm always afraid people won't understand that sometimes, I don't want to see them or talk to them for a while. Nothing personal, just need to recharge. But... it seems mean outloud. :running:
I genuinely like people. I like talking with them, trading stories and sharing a laugh but it does make me feel extra tired if I am around a lot of people all day. Most folks are OK when you politely excuse yourself (it helps if you learn the art of looking official. Carry a clip board and wear a tie. It helps :flail:) but if you can't, just say something like "Oh, shoot I think I left the lawn mower on!" and bolt. Works for me :thumbsup:
 

Willowy

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they don't make a lot of noise (like constant throat clearing or coughing or just making a lot of noise when they move around, I know, it's weird).
I will say that people with severe mysophonia should be very VERY honest with potential mates and not have kids at all. It makes for a miserable childhood when you think your parent hates you because they can't handle normal noises :/. My dad gets upset any time a metal fork touches a ceramic plate. Now he is not allowed to be around when the rest of the family eats because nobody wants to deal with that, but childhood meals when he was home were. . .fraught.

Any decent relationship means fully knowing what you're signing up for.
 

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I will say that people with severe mysophonia should be very VERY honest with potential mates and not have kids at all. It makes for a miserable childhood when you think your parent hates you because they can't handle normal noises :/. My dad gets upset any time a metal fork touches a ceramic plate. Now he is not allowed to be around when the rest of the family eats because nobody wants to deal with that, but childhood meals when he was home were. . .fraught.

Any decent relationship means fully knowing what you're signing up for.
Good advice. Hence the old term...."just be yourself."
30 years from now, it's easy to be yourself. 30 years from now, it's not so easy to keep on being someone you're not.
 
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Mia6

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Must be kind, shower daily, love animals, not lecture or argue, and preferably live in the USA or Canada, since it's too complicated & expensive to move overseas with cats, and some countries don't have Walmart. :eek2:
They do in the UK, called Tesco but you'd have to have your cats quarantined for the first 6 months.
 
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