My father has dementia. I live far away and can't visit right now. He is completely deaf as well, so I can't call him. I wanted to write him a letter and send some pictures, but I have a problem.
Sometimes his mind is ok, sometimes he's confused, doesn't recognize my mom, doesn't know who's house he's in (his own). He seems to have hallucinations on occasion as well. He asks my mom about me a lot, but about 70% of the time he thinks I'm a little kid. Sometimes he goes looking through the house for me and thinks I'm a toddler. Sometimes he thinks I'm in kindergarten and wants to know when I'm getting home from school. Heartbreaking.
Anyway, I don't know how to write to him. If I talk about my life as it is now, will that just confuse him? I know that my mom tells him I'm all grown up now, but she says he gets upset about that. Should I just not write to him? I hate the thought of that 30% of the time that he's aware, he may be thinking I don't care about him. At the same time, I would hate to send pictures of my adult self and upset him because he thinks of me as a baby.
I'm just not sure how to navigate this. I just want him to know I love him and I'm always thinking of him.
Any thoughts?
Sometimes his mind is ok, sometimes he's confused, doesn't recognize my mom, doesn't know who's house he's in (his own). He seems to have hallucinations on occasion as well. He asks my mom about me a lot, but about 70% of the time he thinks I'm a little kid. Sometimes he goes looking through the house for me and thinks I'm a toddler. Sometimes he thinks I'm in kindergarten and wants to know when I'm getting home from school. Heartbreaking.
Anyway, I don't know how to write to him. If I talk about my life as it is now, will that just confuse him? I know that my mom tells him I'm all grown up now, but she says he gets upset about that. Should I just not write to him? I hate the thought of that 30% of the time that he's aware, he may be thinking I don't care about him. At the same time, I would hate to send pictures of my adult self and upset him because he thinks of me as a baby.
I'm just not sure how to navigate this. I just want him to know I love him and I'm always thinking of him.
Any thoughts?