I am sitting here, typing, in front of a picture of Artie.. with 2 candles lit.. having a drink to celebrate his life.
I cannot believe it has been exactly a year.. to the minute that he has left this world.
My Artie, my Soul Kitty.. my one and only.. my love..
I miss you so much.. Artie, do you know that? Do you know that no one else will ever replace you..in my heart.. You broke my heart.. You are a piece of my heart.. a part of me was lost, after you left...You knew me so well.. I swear you knew me better than I knew myself.. You became a part of me.. and me a part of you.. I tried to save you.. I really did...
I hope I was a good guardian for you.. no, not Mom.. never mom.. a guardian. You came into my life at a time when I was desperately alone. You gave me unconditional love, from the moment you came into my life..
You jumped on my lap that first night, purred, the love came out of you.. never stopping. You were always there with me.. at my lowest points.. just loving me; making me laugh so many times, and cry.. but that is what love is all about.. You never left me.. You greeted me each day when I came home.. Yes, you told me off many times.. but the love was always there..
When I broke my arm.. you never left me.. You were constantly with me.. on my lap.. never leaving.. only to use litter box and to eat...
When I had bronchitis, you were there with me.. The only way I realized I was a bit improved was when you started leaving me alone for a bit.. not long but a bit.. You were my NURSE.. my love... You sensed things about me, better than I knew myself.
I tried, I really did try to be a good guardian. I really did.. I am so sorry for inflicting pain and yes, terror into you at times.. but it was to keep you as healthy as I could~~ and to make you better...No matter how it hurt, how scared you were, you always came back to loving me.. and me, you.. love never failed as far as you were concerned...
I always felt we were given to each other, for a reason.. a predestined reason.. a Match from Above... I will never forget that connection; I believe it whole heartedly..
I miss you.. I miss our conversations. I miss your purring, I miss your cuddling.. on my lap..
and always near me.. You were so good to me and for me.. I hope I was good to you...
I tried so hard to help you.. Did I try too much.. Did I overdue the Vets and meds.. I am so sorry for what I put you through.. Was it too long? Did you leave me too early? I wish I knew..
Were you ready to leave? Was there something I missed, lacked.. if there was, I am so sorry..
I never wanted to cause you any pain.. any suffering.. I tried to help.. as much as I could..
I hope you, at least, understand and forgive for all the horrible things I did to you...
So many things have happened to me, over this past year. It is really incredible, if you think of it... I am selfish when I say this, but..I do not know if I could have gone through so many upheavals in my life, if you were around~~ but then, I say to myself, so many times --almost daily..... "I wish Artie was here.".." I miss you".. but I know, in my heart, that you could not have survived what has occurred.. at least not without some more issues.. You had so many: IBD, MegaColon, dental, heart arrhythmia, hypercalcemia-at one point, spot on lung.. and who knows what else.. I do not think the turmoil would have been good for you.. but I miss you.. so much.. You endured so much.. and I did put you through so much.. Was I selfish? Was I hasty with the last day? Should I have tried more? Did I make things worse for you? Did I care you more suffering? Did I jump too early for medical intervention?? All these things are unanswered questions/thoughts, in my mind..
You were my first cat; as an adult.. Did I treat you wrong? Did I torture you? My love, I am so sorry if I did...
You will always me my soul kitty.. I will never forget you.. You are a part of me...
I now have Geoffrey. He is so different from you. I tell him about his, "Uncle" Artie.. He is not a lap kitty. I miss that.. but he does love me.. I adopted him in November, just before my birthday.. I hope that is ok.. He has his issues also.. but I try.. I tell him all about you.. I do not know if he hears/understands me.. but I do know he loves me, as much as he can.. nothing like you..
We are in a different apartment.. yes, all remnants of you are gone.. except for you bodily remains.. which is on my dresser.. with a picture of you.. I see you every day.. many times.. I also have a couple of pictures around.. I saved some of your favorite toys for Geoffrey; but he does not want them. He wants his own toys. I cannot part with the last vestiges of you.. I miss you..
Artie.. so much fun we had.. on the balcony, watching TV together, brushing you.. playing with you~~~ Playing 'Chase" was so much fun.. hide and seek..throwing your sponge ball around, with you chasing it.. always looking out the windows.. You on your favorite cat tree..
OMG.. you were a best friend to me..
The hiding spots in the boxes, the paper bags, Your special TENT.. I will never forget them.. You were such a special kitty.. You were bonded to me.. and I was so bonded to you.. I miss you..
Artie, my love... I hope you are happy where you are.. I hope you are with parents; especially my mom.. They would love you so much.. I hope you are enjoying the sunshine.. playing.. and have your 'tent'.... sunshine, sponge balls, paper bags, boxes... I hope you are happy were you are, and surrounded by love.. Because that is all you ever gave me...
I miss you... and always will...
Love,
Me......
I cannot believe it has been exactly a year.. to the minute that he has left this world.
My Artie, my Soul Kitty.. my one and only.. my love..
I miss you so much.. Artie, do you know that? Do you know that no one else will ever replace you..in my heart.. You broke my heart.. You are a piece of my heart.. a part of me was lost, after you left...You knew me so well.. I swear you knew me better than I knew myself.. You became a part of me.. and me a part of you.. I tried to save you.. I really did...
I hope I was a good guardian for you.. no, not Mom.. never mom.. a guardian. You came into my life at a time when I was desperately alone. You gave me unconditional love, from the moment you came into my life..
You jumped on my lap that first night, purred, the love came out of you.. never stopping. You were always there with me.. at my lowest points.. just loving me; making me laugh so many times, and cry.. but that is what love is all about.. You never left me.. You greeted me each day when I came home.. Yes, you told me off many times.. but the love was always there..
When I broke my arm.. you never left me.. You were constantly with me.. on my lap.. never leaving.. only to use litter box and to eat...
When I had bronchitis, you were there with me.. The only way I realized I was a bit improved was when you started leaving me alone for a bit.. not long but a bit.. You were my NURSE.. my love... You sensed things about me, better than I knew myself.
I tried, I really did try to be a good guardian. I really did.. I am so sorry for inflicting pain and yes, terror into you at times.. but it was to keep you as healthy as I could~~ and to make you better...No matter how it hurt, how scared you were, you always came back to loving me.. and me, you.. love never failed as far as you were concerned...
I always felt we were given to each other, for a reason.. a predestined reason.. a Match from Above... I will never forget that connection; I believe it whole heartedly..
I miss you.. I miss our conversations. I miss your purring, I miss your cuddling.. on my lap..
and always near me.. You were so good to me and for me.. I hope I was good to you...
I tried so hard to help you.. Did I try too much.. Did I overdue the Vets and meds.. I am so sorry for what I put you through.. Was it too long? Did you leave me too early? I wish I knew..
Were you ready to leave? Was there something I missed, lacked.. if there was, I am so sorry..
I never wanted to cause you any pain.. any suffering.. I tried to help.. as much as I could..
I hope you, at least, understand and forgive for all the horrible things I did to you...
So many things have happened to me, over this past year. It is really incredible, if you think of it... I am selfish when I say this, but..I do not know if I could have gone through so many upheavals in my life, if you were around~~ but then, I say to myself, so many times --almost daily..... "I wish Artie was here.".." I miss you".. but I know, in my heart, that you could not have survived what has occurred.. at least not without some more issues.. You had so many: IBD, MegaColon, dental, heart arrhythmia, hypercalcemia-at one point, spot on lung.. and who knows what else.. I do not think the turmoil would have been good for you.. but I miss you.. so much.. You endured so much.. and I did put you through so much.. Was I selfish? Was I hasty with the last day? Should I have tried more? Did I make things worse for you? Did I care you more suffering? Did I jump too early for medical intervention?? All these things are unanswered questions/thoughts, in my mind..
You were my first cat; as an adult.. Did I treat you wrong? Did I torture you? My love, I am so sorry if I did...
You will always me my soul kitty.. I will never forget you.. You are a part of me...
I now have Geoffrey. He is so different from you. I tell him about his, "Uncle" Artie.. He is not a lap kitty. I miss that.. but he does love me.. I adopted him in November, just before my birthday.. I hope that is ok.. He has his issues also.. but I try.. I tell him all about you.. I do not know if he hears/understands me.. but I do know he loves me, as much as he can.. nothing like you..
We are in a different apartment.. yes, all remnants of you are gone.. except for you bodily remains.. which is on my dresser.. with a picture of you.. I see you every day.. many times.. I also have a couple of pictures around.. I saved some of your favorite toys for Geoffrey; but he does not want them. He wants his own toys. I cannot part with the last vestiges of you.. I miss you..
Artie.. so much fun we had.. on the balcony, watching TV together, brushing you.. playing with you~~~ Playing 'Chase" was so much fun.. hide and seek..throwing your sponge ball around, with you chasing it.. always looking out the windows.. You on your favorite cat tree..
OMG.. you were a best friend to me..
The hiding spots in the boxes, the paper bags, Your special TENT.. I will never forget them.. You were such a special kitty.. You were bonded to me.. and I was so bonded to you.. I miss you..
Artie, my love... I hope you are happy where you are.. I hope you are with parents; especially my mom.. They would love you so much.. I hope you are enjoying the sunshine.. playing.. and have your 'tent'.... sunshine, sponge balls, paper bags, boxes... I hope you are happy were you are, and surrounded by love.. Because that is all you ever gave me...
I miss you... and always will...
Love,
Me......