Thoughts About My Boy Lester

ahilaryb

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Hi friends. I'm having a rough time after putting my handsome tabby boy Lester to sleep a few days ago. I don't regret the dexision
 
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ahilaryb

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Oops posted too early. Will continue below:
 
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ahilaryb

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I don't regret the decision. He's had all sorts of health issues in his 14 years where I've wondered if it was time, but he declined very rapidly. In his last hours I sat with him on the patio in the sun, and snuggled him on my bed while he lay quietly. Several people came to say goodbye to him and be with him. I stroked his cheek while he was put to a gentle sleep. I really knew it was time for him to go so it didn't feel agonizing - I was glad to see him off in the best possible circumstances.
But it's hard now. He's been with me in this apartment since I moved in 7 years ago -always here. Now it doesn't feel like home. I lost my job a week ago, and my roommate isn't home often, so I'm just here, alone, without the one creature who should always be here. I feel like I can never feel at home again. I can only think about how everything is temporary and I'll eventually lose everyone I love.
I want to think of my little friend fondly and happily, not with this heartbreak. Caring for him in his old age made my feelings toward him even more tender and protective. He was elderly and slow but and followed me all over the place, and would loudly say hello to everyone who came over. His favorite thing was to sit in the dirt in the sun so we called him Dirt Cat when he came back inside covered in twigs and leaves.
Just rambling a bit, wanting to talk about him and what it feels like for him to be gone. Thanks for reading.
 

Antonio65

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Your Lester was absolutely handsome, I love his pointed ears.
I'm sorry for your loss, and I know what you mean about not feeling home anymore, it's just like I feel myself after the loss of my two cats.
It is really hard at the beginning, it can get better in time. How long it takes for getting better depends on each one of us.
Hopefully in your case it is shorter than in my case.

You did what you thought it what the best thing for him, you gave Lester the best life he could wish, you loved each other, and this is what makes your lives wonderful and unique. Don't forget what you did together, this will be what will bring you smiles and pride in the future days.

RIP Lester :(
 

di and bob

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Losing someone you love so much, and cared for so protectively, always brings on these feelings and emotions you are going through. It makes us realize our own mortality and how short life really is. To miss him so dearly is totally normal, he was a part of your life for a long time. It hurts so bad, but what you gained is so much more precious and important, it will outweigh the grief you are going through now, in time. It will always hurt, you will always miss him, but time will bring a softening, a way to cope with the pain you are feeling right now. You learn a new life's order, to live with all these feelings and somehow get through it, one day at a time.....
You couldn't let that sweet boy suffer one more moment. You found strength in your love, and you ended that suffering, he will always be thankful for that. And just as you would want for him, to go on and find joy in life once more, so he wants for you. That is what love is. Not finding grief and sadness in the future, and hiding his love in a cold, dark heart, but allowing it to grow. To share with you the happiness that living brings, because he will always be a part of your soul, he will continue to live on through you now. He would receive no higher honor then to have you share your love with another little one when the time is right, to add to the love he left you, just as a mother can love each and every child she is blessed with, uniquely and separately. None of us are an island, we are meant to share our lives and our love with others.
You were so fortunate to have shared your life's journey with Lester, and though he follows a new path now he will always be as close as your thoughts and prayers. To have never have had in your life at all would have been unthinkable. The bond you formed over the years can never be taken from you. "death cannot take that which never dies" and you know your love will be with you always.
My heart goes out to you, I know how much this hurts. It WILL get better, time helps heal a broken heart. But it takes a lot of time, and the help of those who understand your grief. We are here for you, we will share your burden. Take care of yourself, and know it takes one day at a time........RIP dear Lester. You will never be forgotten, you will forever have a secure place in a loving heart. May the good Lord bless and keep you, until you meet again. Goodnight, sleep tight, precious boy!
 

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Hi friends. I'm having a rough time after putting my handsome tabby boy Lester to sleep a few days ago. I don't regret the dexision
Im glad you dont regret the decision. Its already very painful loosing a special friend without feeling guilty as well.

Im sorry for Lester's passing.

There will be better days ahead.

One foot in front of the other for now.
 

les26

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I am so sorry that you lost that little fella and also your job, you are hit with two MAJOR changes and stressors at once and that is a LOT to deal with! The grief of both of those things has ahold of you and it loves to play mind and physical games, but just cry it out, let it out, don't hold it in as it will only make it worse, and with love, time and help from others things will get better, the sun will come out again, you will get another job, and with time probably take in another little one in need.

Look up Holy Basil and also Ignatia Amara, they both help deal with the stress and the loss and trauma of both of your issues.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven" :rbheart:

I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, Lord Bless you, hang in there.....:alright: :grouphug2: :rbheart:
 

will2002

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In my 66 years on this old planet, some of the toughest decisions I have ever had to make, is when to put a pet down. You are a thoughtful, caring, and brave person for letting Lester go to his resting place as you did.

I am so sorry for the loss you feel now, but you know you did the right thing, at the right time, and it will get a bit better as the days pass. Lester is loved, and at peace, and he is never more than a thought away. God bless you.
 

zed xyzed

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I am sorry your beautiful boy went to the rainbow bridge. You showed him how much you loved him by ensuring his suffering ended. It is the most selfless thing anyone could do. Not sure how you would feel about bringing in another cat that needs a loving home, it would be a living tribute to your dear friend
 
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ahilaryb

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Thank you guys for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I've thought about maybe fostering with the local Humane Society, since it would be good to have some little ones to care for and liven the place up a bit, but I'm not ready to adopt a new life buddy. Plus I'll be at home a lot while I'm job hunting.
 

les26

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Thank you guys for your kind words. I really appreciate it. I've thought about maybe fostering with the local Humane Society, since it would be good to have some little ones to care for and liven the place up a bit, but I'm not ready to adopt a new life buddy. Plus I'll be at home a lot while I'm job hunting.
This is a wonderful idea! Good luck with it and with job hunting!!!
 

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I understand exactly what you are going thru. Today marks 1 year since I lost my boy Oliver. He was a few months shy of 16 years old. It is hard but, I filled the void with a new baby. I can still work myself up if I sit and wallow in the pain of the loss ( he got me thru some really tough times). The best thing I did was get another baby. His love goes a LONG way towards filling that big hole.

So sorry for your loss.
 

will2002

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I wouldn't be at all surprised that when the time comes for you to have a new "life buddy" that he or she will somehow just appear...especially if you foster kittens or cats from the Humane Society.
 

Mamanyt1953

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Rest you gentle, Lester, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

While you are right that someday you will lose so many that you love, there will be more loves that come into your life as well. They do not take the place of those we lose, but they make their own place, and their presence blunts the edges of our sorrow. And this is what I know to the depths of my being...love does not die, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. And Love abides. Always, forever, Love abides. The very best part of Lester, his Love for you, is with you still.

I think your idea of fostering is a wonderful one. What a lovely way to honor Lester, by helping these babies find their own forever homes! And who knows, maybe when the time is right, you may hear Lester purring in your ear, "THIS one...keep THIS ONE! And I am with you still."
 
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