I Have To Decide When My Baby Girl Dies

I used to be a semi-active member of this site about ten years ago, when I first got my “kids”, Carter and Lorelei.

About six months ago Carter died suddenly of a heart attack. I was devastated to lose him, he was my buddy that shared the spot under the covers with me every night. The only solace I had was from my girl Lorelei, who became ever more attached to me without her “brother”. We even moved from the USA to Europe together, and I was so grateful to have her with me because I was still grieving so much.

I found out yesterday Lorelei is in end stage kidney failure. I brought her in because her appetite plummeted and suddenly she was hiding in the closet but even then the news was a sucker punch. It doesn’t feel fair doing this again. The vet suggested giving her a shot to at least get her eating again, and we got some medication for her to help her eat. But this is just to keep her comfortable. She is in effect being given hospice care by me.

I was so distraught we went to get another opinion tonight. The vets have all been very kind of course. The one I saw tonight even said it was responsible to get a second check. But her blood work was too high and her kidneys are already too enlarged. They also agreed with the “hospice” option.

I’m just sitting here tonight with the awful feeling that I have to decide the day Lorelei dies. During the day she was eating better and her energy perked up. Tonight she suddenly feels like she’s slumping. I’m contemplating taking her in tomorrow if she’s this far gone in the morning or worse. And it’s tearing me up. I want her to go peacefully. Not too soon and not too late.

Because unfortunately “never” isn’t an option.

She's beautiful. I am so sorry. You are right, though. You don't want her to be in pain. It is such a burden to decide, but we do it from the love we have for our fur babies.

Hello, I am so sorry to hear this, and I am also wishing there was a way to ease your burden and share the load.

You are being so strong, so compassionate and so loving. I'm glad she has you.

I am so sorry. She's a beauty for sure.
Did the vet talk to you about giving sub-q fluids at home? It's not a cure, but if I understand correctly (and someone tell me if I'm wrong), these fluids are easy to give at home, and perk cats in renal disease up very much and might buy her more time, quality time at that.
In some cases, we do have to decide when they pass away and help them to do that. But all in all, she is the one to decide, not you. She will let you know when she's had enough, ultimately the decision is hers but it's (our) responsibility to be good stewards and accept their wishes and help them along.
I hope you have some very good, very quality time left with your girl.

I’m so so sorry, what a beauty she is too! At the end of last year we said goodbye to our buddy Trin, and what really helped us was trying to give him all his favorite treats and activities he liked best. I think it helped us both.

My sincerest sympathies.

I made her appointment. She’s still slipping. She’ll perk up a little bit but...

... she’s lost her purr and her smile.

Along with the fact it’s obvious from her movements... I can’t let her stay in pain. I’d rather not watch her waste away.

I keep second guessing myself now - maybe she’s not that bad. Maybe she’s able to last another week or more.

But...

... I love her too much to guess anymore. She deserves to go in peace.

1 bruce 1 , I asked but she’s too far gone already. The enlargement, x-ray, and the numbers from her blood work were too grim. They said the only humane thing to do for her now would be to bring her in if she experiences further decline. I’m crying my heart out, this is happening now. I can’t just wait until she hurts more.

The appointment is evening local time. I have tomorrow to make her feel as loved as possible.

This is horrible, I am so sorry that the end is near...but the new beginning is also near, although you won't be there with her but one day you will and it will be beautiful.

It is always so so hard to have to "play God" and make these decisions. Perhaps she will make it for you and pass peacefully at home with the one that she loves and loves her, that would be more comforting to you than in a vet's office, but what will be will be, I just hope and pray for strength for you both.

"Their last breath on Earth is their first breath in Heaven"

I am sorry for your upcoming loss, I hope that your heart heals a bit more each day, God Bless.....

I breaks my heart knowing another beautiful soul, is going to the rainbow bridge. I am sorry that this is happening to your beautiful girl.

The most difficult decision a pet parent will ever make, is the one you have to make at this time. Most everyone on this ole Forum has had to do this very thing, some of us many times, and it is never easy.

Your little lady knows she is loved and her passing will never change that fact. She will live on in your heart and soul for ever more. May you find peace and comfort knowing this. God bless you both.

I didn't realize how much the anticipation would hurt. I'm trying to keep her close without forcing her to engage when she's in pain and hiding. Sometimes she seems so lively... and then I panic that I'm doing the wrong thing.

But then the pain starts. I saw her leap onto her little cardboard scratcher and tear it up like old times... but then she hobbled away like it hurt to do it. I heard her whimpering in pain when she was trying to stay close to me. Her breathing is labored if she lays in almost any position now. If I let this go on, it's only going to hurt her even more.

I can't let her suffer. I know I'm doing the right thing for her. But I'm 6 hours away from leaving for the appointment and nothing I do is helping the anxiety. I keep feeling like doing anything is wasting the few precious hours she has left with me.

My tears here. What today hurts, will change in good memories in few months.

Every Creature owns a beginning and and an end.
We are arms of the Faith.
Love never ends.

Be strong, she needs you.

rebochan said:

I didn't realize how much the anticipation would hurt. I'm trying to keep her close without forcing her to engage when she's in pain and hiding. Sometimes she seems so lively... and then I panic that I'm doing the wrong thing.

But then the pain starts. I saw her leap onto her little cardboard scratcher and tear it up like old times... but then she hobbled away like it hurt to do it. I heard her whimpering in pain when she was trying to stay close to me. Her breathing is labored if she lays in almost any position now. If I let this go on, it's only going to hurt her even more.

I can't let her suffer. I know I'm doing the right thing for her. But I'm 6 hours away from leaving for the appointment and nothing I do is helping the anxiety. I keep feeling like doing anything is wasting the few precious hours she has left with me.

Click to expand...

Unfortunately I was in your position last month. You are right, you are doing the right thing. You will second guess, I've been told that is normal, as well as it is to have guilt. It is hard, painful, and sad. But you are helping her to become pain free. And she will be with you in your heart.

You can't let her suffer. You also can't prepare your heart for what is to come. As said above, the guilt and the second guessing will come, they are a part of grieving. Don't dwell on her end, it only brings pain and makes it more important than her life. And her life will always be a most treasured and important part of your life. All she needs from you is your comfort and your love, and I'm sure she has that. She needs to know you will be OK without her physical presense, she doesn't want to bring you pain.
She will forever be as close as your thoughts and prayers, the bond of love you have with both those precious angels can never be taken from. you. "Death cannot take that which never dies" and you know your love for her will be with you forever. My heart cries for your pain, my thoughts and prayers are with you both. May God bless you both and hold you close....

In my experience when we have had cats that are near the end and the vet has told us they needed to be put down when they get the injection if they are truly ready they pass peacefully within seconds, not fighting, no startled looks or actions, they just quietly slip away and are probably relieved to have left their pain ridden Earthly bodies.

It is not easy..I remember Simon our Tuxedo who had stomach cancer looking still so handsome and good and me asking the vet "he looks so good yet, are you sure he needs to be put down?" and he said "he does look good, but inside he's very sick". And Sebastian also looking just fine, so handsome and regal and him passing in my arms by himself without a vet, he made the decision for us, but neither way is easy.
And we used Cindy Wenger a wonderful animal communicator who would amaze you at what she knows over the phone without seeing your pet, just amazing, and we were talking about another cat and I mentioned Simon and she said "was he the one with cancer? He was relieved to leave his painful body but his spirit is still with you" and that was comforting, she knew nothing about him or his issue yet could pick up on him somehow, so I think your little one will also be sad to leave you but relieved to leave her painful Earthly body and gain her Angel's wings at the Bridge.....

Lorelei passed peacefully. The vet confirmed her muscles were already weakening, and her blood pressure was so low they had to finish the euthanasia in an operating room because she didn’t have usable veins in her legs anymore. But I held her as she fell asleep from the sedative so she knew I was there the whole time.

They told me I brought her in just in time. It’s brought me so much relief to know I did the right thing. I was right about Lorelei’s condition all along. When I saw her body one last time, she looked so peaceful.

I’m choosing to remember her as she was in her best moments - my vibrant, beautiful baby girl.

Thank you everyone.

rebochan said:

Lorelei passed peacefully. The vet confirmed her muscles were already weakening, and her blood pressure was so low they had to finish the euthanasia in an operating room because she didn’t have usable veins in her legs anymore. But I held her as she fell asleep from the sedative so she knew I was there the whole time.

They told me I brought her in just in time. It’s brought me so much relief to know I did the right thing. I was right about Lorelei’s condition all along. When I saw her body one last time, she looked so peaceful.

I’m choosing to remember her as she was in her best moments - my vibrant, beautiful baby girl.

Thank you everyone.

Click to expand...

That is the best way to remember her. I am so sorry for your loss. She was so beautiful.

Rest you gentle, Lorelei, dream you deep. Your pawprints are on someone's heart forever.

I am so, so sorry for your loss. She was, is, and always will be, a beautiful cat. She was, is, and always will be your loving companion...as is Carter. For love does not die, you know, it only changes form and continues on, still Love. And Love abides. Always and forever, Love abides.

Bless you and thank you for having the strength and compassion to help your baby.
RIP sweetheart!

I’m so glad the moment was right, and I’m so sorry for your loss. What a lucky kitty to have had a guardian like you.

I am so sorry your beautiful girl went to the rainbow bridge